


Resilience

by ScribblesInTheMargins



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, Future Fic, Injury Recovery, M/M, Only tagged for most prominate pairing/characters, Slow Burn, Tattoos, injuries, long fic, past Victor nikiforov/katsuki yuuri, victurio
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2019-09-01 04:42:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 123,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribblesInTheMargins/pseuds/ScribblesInTheMargins
Summary: Of all the people in the world that he could be asked to call, there was one that Yuri Plisetsky had no desire to speak with.  Victor Nikiforov, the prodigal son that Yuri had no desire to see return.  There was no other option.  With Yakov recovering from a stroke and Yuri still recovering from his injury two years ago there were precious few other options.  No, that was not true.  There were few other options that would make Yakov happy -- and Yuri couldn't say no to the man who was as close as a father after all these years.If Yakov wanted him to call Victor, he'd call.  He knew the man would never come back to Russia.   He knew he would get excuses and he'd have to pass those on and it would break Yakov's heart.Yuri was wrong -- Victor was coming back to Russia.





	1. Trying to keep it all together

**Author's Note:**

> This is set when Yuri is 21 and Victor is 33.  
> 5 1/2 years after season 1

Twenty-seven bottles. Honestly, Yuri had gone from impressed to appalled over the course of cleaning the office. Only one bottle of Moskovskaya. It was one more than Yuri had expected though. Yakov and Viktor had always had a taste for more expensive vodka. Yuri was the one who liked the cheap stuff. He grabbed a glass and poured some as he looked around the office. He was going to be here all night, but was better than being where Lilia was.

Yuri was exhausted, so much cleaning so far, but he didn't want to stop. If he stopped, he wouldn't have an excuse anymore for not texting Lilia. Honestly, right now, he didn't have an excuse to not text her. He didn't want to text her. As long as he didn't know for certain, he could pretend that things were fine and the trip to the hospital had been nothing but an abundance of caution. Yuri knew that wasn't true. He knew this was bad.

He couldn't put it off any longer as he sat back, sipping the vodka and finally texting.

> << how's he doing
> 
> >> He is sleeping now, but he was awake earlier.
> 
> << do you need me to come there?
> 
> >> No.
> 
> >> He would want you where you are.
> 
> << tell him not to worry about anything here, I have it under control

Yuri sighed even as he hit enter -- that was a lie. That was a complete lie. He was trying to figure out how to make himself magically have clones of himself. Taking over all of Yakov's work as well as Lilia's work was more than one person could do -- and he already had so many hours a day of training -- not to mention school.

> >> thank you, Yura
> 
> << Shush. You don't have to thank family

Yuri leaned back, thinking about what to do. World's had been last month, it was officially the off-season. It was April and it was beginning to feel like Spring was actually here. Yuri leaned back as he added more vodka you the glass. This was going to be a long night. He had so much to do. Somehow, he'd just have to get it all done.

* * *

By morning when the young skaters were all dropped off, the office was cleaned, all paperwork was filed, and Yuri was on the ice wearing his skates and in his newest team Russia jacket. 

The three-time national champion wasn't the same as an internationally renowned coach, but these were eight-year-olds, he wasn't expecting issues. There was no smile to greet the students, and there was every possibility that Yuri was still a little tipsy from drinking, but that didn't matter. He'd skated in worse shape and no one had realized.

Mila arrived a little before noon and with a quick kiss to both her cheeks, Yuri was finally off to the hospital to see how things were for himself. Even if she was retired from skating, he was still thankful that she had been able to take a half day from work to help him out by supervising the afternoon classes.

The drive to the hospital didn't take long, and it was sadly much too familiar. Too many times this trip had been made, injuries and all happened in the sport.

Yuri took the elevator to the eighth floor of the hospital, trying to ignore that the directions involved the Neuroscience ICU, especially ignoring the ICU part. He had been hoping that Yakov would be in a normal hospital room by now, but the man clearly wasn't. No, he'd been hoping Yakov would be home and that it would have been him and Lilia overreacting with the ambulance. They had not been overreacting though, not at all.

When he got to the room, the nurse was just removing a lunch tray, so Yuri waited a few seconds before stepping in, a smile on his lips as he didn't want to worry Yakov.

Lilia was sitting in the chair in the room, the newspaper in her hands, but Yuri doubted she had read it. The woman just did not do well without something in her hands when she was nervous.

"Hey. So still slacking off in here I see." Yuri flashed a smile at the man as he went over to perch on the side of the bed.

"Yurochka." While Yakov tried to sound annoyed, the lopsided grin on his lips proved he wasn't at all annoyed. When Yuri leaned over to kiss each of the man's cheeks, Yakov just waved a hand -- but only one -- which Yuri found suspicious. "No need to fuss." The fact the man's words were a little slurred only made Yuri more suspicious.

"Yes need to fuss. You can't give me a hard time about this at all. You fuss over me all the time."

"Because you need to be fussed over, difficult boy." It didn't matter to Yakov that Yuri was now twenty-one. He would always be a difficult boy to the man.

"Oh shush." Yuri smiled as he looked over at Lilia, trying to not tense at how she still looked worried.

"Who is at the rink?" Of course, Yakov had to ask work questions.

"Mila. She took a half day so she could take over the skaters I'm going back there after I make sure you are OK with my own eyes." What Yuri didn't miss was how Yakov's eyes dropped at that.

"Yasha…" Lilia's voice was soft.

"I know I know, Lilenka, I just … you do it." Yes, this would be a time that it would be easier to have Lilia give the bad news to Yuri. Already Yakov couldn't stand how Yuri looked, the fear and worry on the boy's face as he looked from one of them to the other.

"The stroke was a little worse than we thought it was at first." Lilia pursed her lips, thinking of how to say this.

"How much worse?" Yuri was suspicious now. He'd been there when Yakov had collapsed and the ambulance had come. The hope with how quickly Yakov had regained consciousness was that it was a 'mini-stroke', but Yuri was quickly realizing that that was not the case.

"They are keeping him for a few days for observation, and he will be in therapy after this."

"I had been expecting that." Yuri tilted his head as he looked from Lilia to Yakov and then reached out for Yakov's left had -- the one that had not been used to push him away when he had kissed the man's cheeks. His eyes widened at how limp the fingers were as he picked it up.

"His left side, he can't move it. They think it will improve." Lilia was nothing if not practical in times like these.

"They think…" Yuri repeated Lilia's words as he looked down at Yakov.

The man sighed. It was bad timing -- in so many ways this was horrible timing. "Yura, I know. I know." He sighed.

"What the fuck are you saying sorry for. You only have to think about getting better, I have everything else taken care of." Yuri knew he was lying. He knew he was so in over his head, and there was no way he could continue at this rate. Adding Yakov's coaching to his own coaching and choreography work and that would already be more than a full-time job -- but maybe something Yuri could handle. No, that he could handle. That was the problem. He knew if he gave up the things that also mattered to him that he could do this. There was no way he could train for his own skating and continue taking classes at the University if he was going to spend all those hours doing Yakov's job. 

Even as Yuri was making plans to drop out of school, he didn't really need a degree, after all. Yakov sighed. "You're thinking too hard. Call Victor."

Pulling back in confusion, Yuri looked down at Yakov. "Why would I call him?"

"He has coaching credentials. He can choreograph. He can -- Yura, you can not do this alone. Mila can't put in the hours and you know it." Yakov did not mention that Mila had never become proficient at teaching others. Some people were born with that ability, some people learned that ability, and some people just never developed it. When Mila had retired, she had had her nursing degree mostly done. Now she worked at a doctor's office and was married and living on the other side of town.

"It's Victor though. He isn't the most … dependable." Yuri hated saying it. Well, he hated saying it right now. Normally he loved saying it. Normally nothing would make him happier than to point out that they couldn't depend on Victor -- not after how the man had abandoned them all.

"Yura, call Victor. Tell him what happened." Then a word that so seldom passed from Yakov's lips was whispered, "Please."

Yuri's eyes flew open for a second, the shock at the request clear. There was no way he could say no to that though. Instead, he nodded. "Of course."

With a sigh, Yuri stood up, "Lilia, have you eaten? I know you haven't slept."

"I was able to nap a little during the night." Perhaps the blanket on the back of the soft chair she was sitting in would make that believable.

Yuri knew her better though and shook his head, "You know you didn't get even a moment's sleep in that chair. Did you eat?"

"Don't lie to him Lilenka." The fact Yakov was joining in on his mothering of Lilia was all the proof Yuri need that no, she had not eaten.

"And I know you will not eat anything from the cafeteria here. Yakov will be fine if we go have lunch. There is that cafe you don't mind too much nearby." As he said it, his hand lightly rested on Yakov's arm, his fingers holding on as he tried to recenter himself.

Lilia didn't say anything, instead, she stood up and walked over to where her coat was hanging on the back of the door. "We won't be gone long." There was no need for her to spend every moment of the day in the hospital room anymore. There was no way that she was not coming back here after lunch though.

With a backward glance to Yakov and so many doubts in his mind, Yuri led Lilia out of the hospital to make sure she ate something -- in truth, he needed that as much if not more than she did. He'd been working hard all morning and had been up all night cleaning and organizing the office. The vodka hadn't helped that.

By four he was back at the rink, and the last of skating classes was being finished. It was the off-season, but that still meant that the junior skaters and the skaters trying to get standing in the senior circuit would be coming to practice, but it gave Yuri just a little time. 

Once he made sure that Mila knew where he was, he walked back into the office, looking at the now neat stacks of papers and the whiteboard he had hauled out of a storage closet. Maybe Yakov could keep track of who was doing what and when with just that little agenda he had everything written in. Yuri needed it bigger and color-coded to keep it straight. He sighed as he looked at the schedule, trying to think of how late it was in Japan where Victor was.

Giving up, he checked online. Just after ten. That wasn't too bad. He should have called earlier, but he'd been busy -- he knew Lilia wasn't taking this as well as she was trying to seem. While those two were still technically divorced, it wasn't as if Yakov had moved out when Yuri had -- no he was still living at the house and Yuri knew those two were very much in love.

Not able to put it off any longer, he took a deep breath and dialed Victor's contact number on his phone. It had been … years. He didn't even know if it was still the same number.

Sitting there in the office, his blue-green eyes wandering over everything and not having slept in much too long, Yuri hoped this would go well, but he expected it not to. The last time Victor had ever done anything for him, he had been fifteen and it had involved flying off to Japan to make the man keep his word. He didn't want to relive any of those disappointments. The only reason he agreed to call was that Yakov had asked. That man was the closest thing Yuri had ever had to a father, so he'd do anything for him.

* * *

That night, Victor was sitting in his home office, sighing as he flipped through papers. His hair had flopped into his eyes and he didn't really care enough to even flip it out of his eyes. He could still drink the vodka he had on on his desk -- not Russian, local Japanese vodka. He was miserable, but he spent all of his time trying to act like he wasn't. Dinner had ended in yelling -- again. Victor wasn't even sure what the fighting was about anymore. It didn't matter. Whatever it was about, tomorrow would be about something else. 

Eleven months ago, he had moved into the guest room. They were still training together. Now that Yuuri had retired as well, they both worked at the ice palace. Choreography, training, ice camps -- they were now one of the top ten ice skating training facilities in the world, and as Victor was well aware -- it wasn't just because of him.

Another sip of the vodka as Victor looked over the information for the first intensive camp they'd be running for junior skaters. It would start the first of June, and every few weeks there would be another one until the junior season started in earnest. He was tired, tired of this. Something needed to change -- just, he didn't have it in him anymore. He was just functioning from one day to the next.

As Victor took yet another sip of the vodka and paused to refill the glass, his phone started to ring -- it was a number he didn't recognize and didn't come up on his caller ID. It was a St. Petersburg number though, so he picked up his phone to answer it. Speaking Russian felt so strange after all this time, but something about it seemed so right as well.

"This is Victor." There was hesitation as he didn't know who was on the other end of the call, but the feeling of homesickness he felt at the thought of St. Petersburg could not be ignored.

"Victor. It's Yuri." The tone was tired and harsh, and it had been so long since they had talked.

"Yuri…" He was too stunned to call the man Yurio, but there was so much of a difference between how he pronounced his husband's name and how he pronounced the Russian version. Especially now. He'd been in Japan for so many years that his accent had even been fading when speaking Japanese, but the second he heard Yuri sounding so tired, Yuri's pronunciation of his own name slurring into his Moscow accent he still held onto after all the years in St. Petersburg, Victor's own accent came back instantly.

"Yakov wanted me to call you." There was hesitance in the man's voice, a lot of hesitance.

"What .. happened?" There had to have been something that happened. For Yuri to be calling instead of Yakov, and no, Victor would never admit how often he still talked to his old coach. 

"Victor, Yakov is in the hospital. He -- will not be coming back to the rink, at least for a while. He said to call you." Yuri hated this, he hated to ask for anything -- especially from Victor. Why would Victor care about what they were going through here? Why would Yakov think that Yuri should call him of all people? Victor had shown what mattered to him a long time ago, and it was not his family here -- maybe he had never thought of the people here as his family. To Yuri though, this was his family and his family was hurting.

"What happened." He sat up straighter, his own vodka forgotten even as he heard Yuri take a sip of something over the phone. 

"He had a stroke, yesterday morning in the office. Lilia was here when it happened. I had just gotten back from school. They took him to the hospital, he's still there." The explanation was near robotic.

"How bad?" Victor was hesitant to ask about it.

"It's not good. I understand you have a lot going on there. He just asked that I call you --"

That was the moment Victor realized something. "Exactly why did he want you to call?"

"We need help here." Yuri hated saying it. He knew he was about to get excuses and he'd have to pass those on and it would break Yakov's heart. Victor -- he knew how Victor held such a special place in that man's heart.

Victor barely paused, looking around the office and his life here. No, this was his chance, he had to take it. Maybe Yuri was right, maybe all he was good at was running away. Maybe Yuuri was the one that was right and all he was good at was hiding. Either way, he knew what he wanted to do, no what he had to do. "I'll send you my itinerary as soon as I have a ticket."

This time it was Yuri's turn to pause before answering. "How long are you staying for?" He wanted the facts before he had to talk to Yakov in the morning.

"I can come for the summer at least." Honestly, Victor wasn't sure if he'd come back to Japan. The reason he had moved here, the reason this country had found a spot in his heart -- Victor didn't think that had any hope of ever coming back.

"I'll tell him in the morning. I need to go work with the last skaters on the schedule now." He also had to check his email, get his assignments from the school work he missed today and finish up an essay to email it in tomorrow because clearly, he'd be here all day again. Luckily, his professors had accepted his excuse without question. He hadn't even had to have Lilia speak to any of them. He hated to use her clout for his convenience, but this was an exception.

As Victor hear the call end, he leaned back in his chair. He normally didn't speak to Yuuri this late at night, but tonight he had to go to the one room he avoided at all costs. He stood up, walking to the master bedroom in his stocking feet as he knocked on the door -- uncertain if Yuuri was still awake. Things had changed so much from the times when he could just walk in -- no from the times the door had never been closed. It had just been them in the house, their house, and they had been in love. Victor wasn't sure what had happened, when things had changed.

He waited there at the door to the bedroom until he heard some movement and then, in Japanese, "You may come in." Of course, Yuuri knew who it was, it was only the two of them in this house. Taking a breath, Victor opened the door. He knew Yuuri was still upset form their argument earlier. Yuuri was almost always upset now though -- and it killed Victor. He was a horrible husband, he so easily took the blame for everything. The counselor had said that was one of their problems, each of them taking the blame and internalizing their disagreements.

As Victor walked in his saw Yuuri's cheeks still tearstained, and it broke his heart. "Yuri just called. Yakov is in the hospital and -- they need me there."

A brief look of suspicion and then the emotion that absolutely broke Victor's heart -- relief. As soon as he knew that his leaving brought relief to the man he had loved, and then the realization that that love was in the past tense -- Victor knew what he had to do. "They need me at least for the summer. Would you be all right with the camps … without me?"

"They need you, Victor." Honestly, Yuuri didn't know who was at the Russian facility or why it had been Yuri that had called, it had been so long since he had talked to the younger man either. He knew this was his best chance to get Victor to leave -- and to have the man he had loved being near people that still cared for him. There was no doubt in Yuuri's mind that Yakov still cared for Victor. Just because Yuuri was no longer in love with Victor, it did not mean he did not still care. Having Victor near the man's friends would be a relief.

"I'm going to get a ticket and get there as soon as possible. Yuri is going to tell Yakov in the morning. I don't know exactly what happened." Part of Victor wished that Yuuri would protest, ask him to stay -- but he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"For Yuri to call you it has to be … serious."

Victor could tell from how Yuuri tensed after speaking that he hadn't meant to say something that he realized would hurt. It was a reminder of how he had let that young man down again. Whatever relationship the two men shared with their shared given name, it had fallen apart a few years ago. Yuri had stopped talking to everyone when he was forced to retire from a sudden injury. Maybe it hadn't been that hard for the young man to stop talking to the other skaters. Yuri had never been good at making friends. Maybe Yuuri was one of the only skaters outside of Russia that had ever really even tried with him though.

Nodding, Victor turned, "I'll email you the specifics. I need to start packing though." He was leaving for the summer, he was going to take every suitcase he owned.


	2. Returns and Remembrances

Victor hadn't seen Yuri since the GP final in 2018. That had been over two years ago. It hadn't been the last time the young man had skated, but almost -- his second to last gold medal. The Russian Yuri had beaten his Yuuri by less than a point that year as well, the competition between them always so tight -- even if his Yuuri had won the year before. No, not his Yuuri anymore. Technically maybe, but his Yuuri hadn't been his in a while.

As he sat on the plane, stretched out in first class with a glass of vodka in his hand, he looked out as the plane took him away from Japan, the relief passing over him as he looked out over the landscape below. Going back to Russia was so strange, but at the same time, it felt so good. It was true when you were hurting that there was nothing you wanted more than home.

His mind wandered. He still didn't know how bad the stroke that had happened to Yakov had been, but he knew the man had medical problems -- high blood pressure being the most obvious of those. So many things could be worsened by that though. Yuri had sounded worried and tired when he had called last night, and when he realized that it had only been five or so in St. Petersburg that only made Victor more worried and suspicious for how poorly things were going. 

He and Yuuri had already been having issues back then in late 2018. He'd barely spoken to any of the Russians at the Grand Prix, only managing to grab coffee one morning with Yakov. The rest of the time had been making up or fighting with Yuuri.

Of course, Yuri had won the Russian nationals that year in 2018. Ever since Victor had left the country, there was no real competition for the blond at that. When, just a few weeks later, it came to Europeans 2019 though, Victor had been watching it on his phone while sitting in the car -- he had been at a charity event where they were supposed to be meeting with potential sponsors and rubbing elbows, but instead, he had gone back to their car to avoid arguing with Yuuri in public. Besides, everything was in Japanese and Yuuri was much better at that than he was.

That night, he had been curled up in the back seat of their car, a blanket around him because even with his trenchcoat, it was so cold in the hotel parking garage. He had been streaming the European free skate, using the excuse of watching the competition to see people he still cared about battle for that medal.

That year, Yuri Plisetsky had been performing to pieces from the ballet version of Romeo and Juliet. It was the theme that year for the young man. Both his programs had been from the famous ballet, his short program from the masquerade and his free skate from Juliet's tomb. The exhibition program he had been performing that year was from the much more modern remake that was still older than the skater performing the more modern music. This was the free skate, and Victor had seen this program now three times before. Skate America, Rostelecom, and the GP final. For the Russian Nationals, Yuri had used his programs for worlds the year before, downgrading the jumps. It had made Victor suspicious, but there had been no mention of injury back then -- and Viktor had not used his friendships to find out information he shouldn't know.

Europeans though had been back to the programs Yuri had used in the GP series. His short program had been enough to put him in first place, and he had gone into the free skate with a five-point lead. It had been a good lead, but it had not been enough that he could relax or downgrade too much.

Victor had watched carefully from the back seat of the car, his lips in a soft scowl as he had closely watched every move the young man had performed. Viktor was very aware that the newest Olympic medal for Russia said Yuri Plisetsky. The one four years earlier from Viktor Nikiforov no longer as relevant. He had left Russia and the seemingly unstoppable blond force was the new Russian hero.

The first half went well, Yuri had been three years into training with Lilia Baranovskaya and it had been obvious. The competition that year had been too tight so every skater had to backload their programs with jumps, even with Yuri having five different quads in his impressive arsenal, he had had to backload as well. 

To Victor now, seemed like a lifetime ago that he had been at that event, hiding in the back seat to avoid Yuuri. He shook his head, sighing as he took another sip of the vodka as the kilometers rolled away outside the window, every minute he was a little closer to Russia, a little closer to his homeland, a little closer to the city he had been born in. He missed St. Petersburg. He missed the dark winters and the never dark summers. He missed the food, the people -- he missed his home, and it would always be his home.

He didn't know what he was flying back to. Yuri hadn't skated since that Europeans. Honestly, he had no idea what the young man was up to. Victor knew that was his own fault more than anything, he only paid attention to the competitive skating scene -- the rest of his life had been caught up in everything at the ice castle and the chaos between him and his husband. Now though, the ice castle and Yuuri were falling behind him, further and further away the farther he flew.

He found his mind wandering back to that time, hiding in the car and watching Yuri skate. He could still remember how he gasped, grabbing the back of the seat in front of him as he watched the screen. He still couldn't remember how much of the events he remembered from watching it live and how much from seeing the replays in the weeks and months after. He had seen the wobble on the takeoff of a quad flip. The hang time had not been near enough, and Victor had known that the only way to save the jump would have been to downgrade to a triple, but Yuri had rotated past that -- it was never clear on the replay if Yuri had still been trying to get the quad or if he just had had too much going into it for it to be a triple. 

What Victor had known for sure was that Yuri's toe pick had hit the ice, had gripped, and Yuri's foot had jerked under him -- all the force of the jump had been channeled his right ankle and there was no way the skate had been able to help take that force. He remembered the unnatural movement as a little over fifty-five kilos landed with much too much force -- and then he had seen the look on Yuri's face. The pain that had been there in the seconds before the man passed out, crumpling to the ice, head bouncing off the hard surface, leaving a red streak of blood behind on the formerly pristine surface. 

He still remembered exactly how he had felt as he sat there, turning up the volume, needing to hear what was being said as medical personnel rushed onto the ice. It had been more than clear that Yuri was not getting up on his own -- the man had not even moved at all.

In hushed tones, the announcer had spoken about the medical staff as emergency personnel had rushed onto the ice with Yakov and Lilia rushing over as well. A neck brace had been put on before the medics had moved Yuri to have him flat on the ice, moving his neck as little as possible. A flashlight had appeared as Yuri's eyelids were opened one after the other. There had still been no movement.

Yuri had been moved onto a stretcher and carried off the ice to the waiting ambulance -- normally an abundance of caution, but that night it had clearly been needed. There had been no applause. At no point had Yuri moved even a finger to indicate he was conscious.

Victor remembered how he had felt when he had left the car, walking back to the event because he knew he had to tell his husband what had happened. All he knew from after that was that Yuri had been pulled from competition for the rest of that year -- and no one mentioned him for the next year, or for this year. It was as if the young man had disappeared from the face of the Earth instead of just from competitive skating.

Victor tried to put it out of his mind. Soon enough, he would see Yuri again and maybe then he'd get the answers to his questions. The important thing right now was Yakov. All he knew about the man's condition was that he was still in the hospital. Even though Victor was so tired, he knew that he wouldn't be getting any rest on this flight. No, he had too many thoughts running through his mind as he watched the distance pass through the gaps in the cloud cover.

* * *

After getting off the phone with Victor, Yuri finished the glass of vodka. He'd at least had one real meal today. Maybe he'd manage a second -- that was doubtful though. Instead, he walked out of the office to catch Mila at the end of her lesson with the kids. As they were sent home with their parents, Yuri waited for the last of them to leave before walking over to Mila and just leaning against her to wrap his arms around her, just as he had done so many time over the years. With a soft sigh, she ruffled his hair. It was much longer now, but she had messed with his hair since he was little.

"You doing okay, Yura?" Her voice was soft as she led him back to Yakov's office.

"I don't know. I'm tired, and … oh, I didn't tell you. Yakov told me to call Victor of all people." He sighed as he leaned his head on Mila's shoulder. This was what he needed more than food right now. This was a little bit of normalcy. This was something he had missed, but he knew Mila had her own life now and it didn't involve the rink here anymore.

As Yuri pulled back, Mila tilted her head, "Why did he want that man called?" Mila had never been as betrayed by Victor's leaving as Yuri had been, but she had still been upset by how much it had hurt the young man she thought of as a younger brother.

"For help, to ask him to come back here and coach." Yuri didn't sound like he thought that would happen.

"Victor? Come back here? To help us?" Her disbelief echoing what Yuri had been thinking before he had called.

"I know. Victor doesn't do anything that doesn't benefit Victor." Yuri sighed though as he added, "Which makes me wonder why he said yes."

"He said yes?" Mila couldn't believe, but then she looked at Yuri's phone as he held it up to show her the itinerary for the ticket Victor had purchased.

"Tomorrow night we have Victor here." Yuri sounded as thrilled as if he had been told he had to go to the dentist. 

Mila just sighed at that as she shook her head.

"Yeah. I'll have all the classes covered for tomorrow. If you can swing by the hospital though, I think they'll be moving Yakov to a normal room later today or in the morning."

"I will." She gave Yuri another hug. "You'll be OK here? I could stay?"

"No, it's OK. Thank you though. I really needed you today." He gave her a little smile, tired, but -- this could have been a lot worse than it was.

"Anytime, Yura." She gave him another hug before grabbing her things. Her husband would be home by the time she got home. Driving all the way across St. Petersburg was never fun, doing it during rush hour was even worse.

After Mila had left, Yuri slipped his skates on. There were only two skaters tonight. Most of Yakov's skaters were off doing other things, ice shows or enjoying some well earned time off. While Yakov only had one skater in Seniors, he had another four in juniors. The two youngest women were still in town and those were the girls that Yuri ended up working with that night. Their choreography needed to be done earlier, the junior season started in August. They only had about four months to get their programs ready.

By the time both girls were done with their practice, Yuri was exhausted. Tomorrow he had to pick up Victor at the airport. Tomorrow, he had to teach lessons from 7AM until it was time to go to the airport. Tomorrow was enough to make Yuri tired without even having done any of that yet. Today, he just had work for school that needed to be done, and honestly, staying at the rink just made more sense. Leaving money with the security guard, he called a local place to get food delivered and then he retreated to Yakov's office, staying there with only a break to grab his food once it got there. By the time he was able to go to sleep, even more vodka was gone and he had emailed all of his homework in for his classes.

Pulling a blanket out of the closet, he curled up on the couch, his alarm set for 6AM. This wouldn't be the first night he had slept on the couch in the office. He'd be stiff in the morning, but the pain was not something he wasn't used to. Pain had been a constant in his life since the accident at Europeans.

He was too exhausted to not pass out, oblivion taking over for the moment as Yuri slept deeply in Yakov's office wrapped in a blanket that smelt of the man. He was too tired to worry. At least tomorrow was Friday. The weekend schedule was a little easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: I promise this will deserve it's rating, but with how I see Victor and Yuri's relationship it's going to be bumpy getting there and take time, so I have to ask for patience for that -- I hope everyone will love thier interaction in this though as much as I do :)
> 
> Second, I really love comments and such. Especially with a pairing I've only read and haven't actually written before.


	3. Can you ever go home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey posting this well ahead of the normal posting schedule so people can get a better feel for the fic and if they like it :)

Yuri had hoped the next day would be easy. He should have known better. There was a problem that came with training children in a sport -- they were children. So by ten AM, Yuri had already cleaned up vomit from the ice and was now holding a different child that had been crying. The little girl balanced on his hip as he skated around the rink working on the children as he continued to drill the basics. He was skating around with the child on his hip until her mother got there to pick her up. She'd fallen and hit her knee, it would be bruised but no more than if she had been running and tripped.

The rest of the day was just as chaotic, but somehow, Yuri got through all the lessons, finally stretching out on a bench as he just closed his eyes to relax. He needed to get up and go to the airport, but everything hurt. He wasn't used to a full day on the ice, and he knew he had exerted himself a lot more than he should have. 

There was no other option, he had to get up and go to the airport. Sighing, he painfully got up off the bench, for once looking so much older than his actual age. Injuries sucked. He sighed, walking up to Yakov's office to grab all of his stuff and carry it out to his car. He didn't like driving Yakov's if he didn't have to and Victor could just deal with his messy car. 

He grabbed a protein bar from the mess in the glove compartment before driving to the airport, being sure to give plenty of time since he'd be dealing with the worst of the traffic on his way. A smarter him would have told Victor to get a cab.

No, instead there was Yuri finding a spot in the overcrowded, short-term parking lot of the St Petersburg airport and then making his way through the crowds with the only good part of this being that he had enough time to get something from Starbucks. No longer the fancy frappes that he used to drink, now it was just coffee with a little sugar. Lilia always got on him about the sugar and he had to take it black at her place on the rare occasions he had coffee there, but no one would be any the wiser if he had some sweetness to counter the bitter. He needed the caffeine. He still had so much to do tonight, and he had an early day tomorrow.

He sat down on one of the benches, not bothering with social media -- without being in the spotlight, it wasn't as if anyone was looking for him there. He'd made a secondary account for the people he actually talked to. So basically Mila and Otabek knew it, and it was locked down so only they could see it, so no real reason to check it. 

Instead of screwing around on his phone, he caught up on work email, confirming and noting schedule changes and who had paid and who hadn't. Reminders were sent out and he was lost in his phone as he waited, an intense look on his face. He didn't care how casual he seemed wearing black jogging pants and a black hoodie -- he'd stopped wearing his Team Russia hoodies when he was out in public, not until he earned them again. Instead, this one was just mostly black with some silver design on it. His hair was up, thrown into a messy bun and he knew that dry shampoo was his savior these past two days.

He was still answering emails while he was brought back to reality by someone clearing their throat. Slowly, he looked up, very well knowing there was only one person who would have caught him lost in his phone and slouching on the bench. Victor -- he looked tired. Yuri hadn't expected that. He didn't say anything about that though, instead, standing up, sliding the phone back into his pocket as he picked up his coffee. "Victor. Are you ready to go? Yakov wanted me to bring you straight to the hospital to see him." He did his best to stand up smoothly, but with how he'd been slouching and cramped up on the bench, the stiffness was clear in the young man's body. 

Victor's eyes narrowed, watching how the younger skater moved. He'd never seen that -- not from Yuri. When he had been a boy, the similarities to a cat had been apparent. The boy could find some weird way to curl up and sleep on an airplane and then stretch once he woke up and seem as if he wasn't sore at all. Now, it wasn't just sore -- it was pain. This long after the accident, and that was a very bad sign. No wonder he hadn't heard anything about him returning back to the ice. "Of course."

"I parked in short term." Maybe it had been more for himself than for Victor. He definitely didn't know when he had parked that Victor would show up with three suitcases. Yuri only took one -- right now even walking hurt, but he tried to hide that he had overdone it. He needed to stretch out. As he led the way to the car, he didn't see how Victor was watching him as he made his way through the parking lot, limping a little as he led the way. Finally, he popped the hatch of the car and threw the suitcase he had hauled out into the car. "Are you staying at Lilia's or …"

The offer to help Yuri with the suitcase died on Victor's lips. It was definitely something with the man's leg. He wasn't sure if it was hip or knee -- he had assumed ankle, but this seemed that it had been more involved than what he had thought. Then again, had it just been an ankle, it was likely it wouldn't have ended Yuri's career -- especially with how young he had been when it had happened. Injuries when you were eighteen healed so much faster than once you were in your thirties.

Victor put the rest of his suitcases into the car as he said, "Yakov texted me that there was room at Lilia's. My old room evidently is still a guest room."

"Yeah. I'll move the stuff that I have stored from there. It's just some boxes. We ran out of room for all the costumes from the Nutcracker, so they ended up in there. It'll be fine."

Victor tilted his head as he looked over at Yuri, "You're still living there?"

"No, I have my own place." Sure, Victor would soon know that a lot of Yuri's things were still in his old bedroom and on an average week he still slept there two or three nights a week. If it was the holidays and Lilia was cooking, that could increase. He wasn't one to turn down a good home cooked meal.

Yuri didn't say anything else as he got into the car and started it up. The radio tuned to just some popular music station. The first thing he did was hit the button for the seat warmers. He was stiff, he wanted his seat warmers. He didn't care that it was April and not that cold anymore. As soon as Victor was situated, he threw the car into gear and started to drive to the hospital. "We're still going to hit some traffic on the way, but visiting hours are for another two hours, we'll be fine. Besides, they have a hard time saying no to Lilia." Who was he kidding -- everyone had a hard time saying no to Lilia.

"How have you been?" Victor tried to make small talk as they drove -- instantly knowing that was a bad idea as he saw how Yuri tensed up at it. 

"I have been fine. Helping Lilia and Yakov and going to school." That was a good answer. It gave information without being too much information.

"I see." Victor sighed, letting the conversation drop as he pulled out his phone to check if he had any messages. For a moment, he held his breath. There was a text from his Yuuri … then he sighed as answered it. The question had simply been 'Where did you leave the rink schedule for next week', his answer of 'In the top drawer of my desk' was about as indicative as his relationship with Yuuri these days as anything. The only thing that would have made it more typical would have been if they started yelling at each other right after that.

As they drove, his phone rang and he hit the speakerphone for it, "This is Yuri."

"Hey, I'm glad I got a hold of you. Anya was going to substitute for Lilia in the morning, but Anya isn't able to make it."

Yuri sighed, gripping the wheel tighter. "Yeah yeah, I have it. That's 8 AM and 9 AM intermediate one and two?"

"Are you sure? I might be able to find someone to take your 10 am and 11 am classes?"

"No, no…. They're getting ready for the spring recital and they get too flustered when they have a substitute. I'll just do all four morning classes."

"Thank you, Yuri. I'll be in by 11, do you want me to bring you coffee then?"

"Yeah, coffee would be good. I'll see you tomorrow." He sighed as he hung up the phone, not wanting to say anything to Victor about that. He had to though. "The ballet classes are the things I can't work around to be able to take Yakov's little skaters on Saturday morning. It's his weekend class. It's pre-juniors, they skate from 9 am to 11 am. Then they have a lunch break and I take them from there into the dance studio to work on ballet with them. Then they are back on the ice at 2 pm for another two hours and that is all that is on the program for Saturday. Yakov kept it light because of competitions."

"So it could be done by any combination of the three of you." With Yuri being able to go between ballet and ice skating for coaching, it was actually a smooth schedule. Now it was evidently going to only be covered by the two of them. He wasn't sure what Yuri was capable of -- it was late, maybe something had happened and this was a temporary injury. He didn't say anything as they drove to the hospital, finally arriving and Yuri pulled into a parking spot.

"Come on, Lilia sent me his new room number. He's moved into a normal section of the hospital now." Yuri didn't wait, instead, he hurried to the room, walking past the main desk and to the elevator. The third floor and he was leading Victor down the hallway, quickly walking past the nurse's desk and to a room nearby. Pausing to knock on the door jamb, he walked in, trying to hide how stiff he was.

Victor was right behind him, taking in everything. He wasn't surprised that Lilia was in the room, sitting in the one upholstered chair, the woman's green eyes looked up as they walked in. She stood up to walk over to Yuri even as Yakov tried not to smile when he saw Victor. "Vitya. Thank you for coming."

"Of course, Yakov. How could I not come when called." Victor ignored how Yuri scoffed audibly at that. What he couldn't ignore was the concern in Lilia's eyes as she watched Yuri and then made him sit in the comfortable chair and handed him a bottle of water, suddenly seeming as if she were here to take care of the blond instead of her ex-husband in the hospital bed. Yes, his first instinct that something was up was very true.

Victor sat carefully on the edge of the hospital bed, smiling at Yakov as he looked at the man, "You are looking better than I had feared you would be." Then as Victor took a hold of the hand closest to him, his eyes widened. He felt no response at all to holding onto the older man's fingers. There was no movement.

"They do not think the damage is permanent."

Of course, Victor knew this was a possibility from a stroke -- but to think of Yakov as compromised in such a way was so foreign. Yes, the man was old. But since Victor had been little, the man had been a source of strength. Yakov had been a rock in the crazy life of a top athlete and the one thing that had grounded Victor for so many years. He fought down the shock though, instead smiling at Yakov. "I'm here as long as you need me."

Victor was too busy noticing the happiness in Yakov's eyes to see the doubt from Lilia and Yuri at that statement. Neither seemed to believe it, but they had both been here to see the aftermath of Victor's previous promises. 

"I am going to go get tea. Yasha? Victor?" She didn't bother to ask Yuri, seeing how he was already slumped into the chair with his eyes closed for the moment.

While Yakov just nodded, Victor looked at the woman as he nodded, "Yes, please." He wasn't sure what to call her. Her name perhaps was safe, anything else could be too formal for this situation, but he had not actually spoken to the woman since the divorce.

"Honey still, Vitya?" If it was meant to show affection or just a remnant from when he was younger was impossible to tell.

"Yes please, if it is not too much trouble." He was still holding Yakov's hand, but now he was noticing the fact that the rest of the room didn't seem near as happy that he was here.

As Lilia left, his eyes continued to be drawn to the resting form of Yuri. Maybe some of earlier had simply been exhaustion. Maybe it had been an injury. What he did know is how unlikely it was that Yuri would tell him.

Victor nodded along as he listened to Yakov talk about the juniors and more advanced skaters. As he finished the brief information on them, Yakov looked to Yuri. "How were the girls yesterday?"

"They've been working hard. Sasha almost has the triple loop down, we were working on it in the harness yesterday. I think we can move to the ice next week."

"Good good, Vitya can help her with that."

Yuri just sighed as he added, "And I finished teaching Sophia the choreography, the jumps need work but the footwork is solid now. I don't like her combinations, they are -- too rough for the music. She needs more dance."

Yuri looked up though as Lilia walked back into the room with the tea, giving the paper cup with the spoon in it to Yuri first, then she gave one to Victor and one to Yakov, the remaining cup clearly hers.

Yakov brought the back of his bed up more so he could sip his tea, holding it in his good hand.

Yuri was busy stirring and then he pulled the spoon out to lick off the jam that still clung to the white plastic. "Thank you."

"Of course, dear. You've had a long day."

Yakov looked from Yuri to Lilia, clearly knowing the two of them were close to each other than anyone else. "Yuroutchka? How were the little ones today?"

"Oh, it was -- I don't know what got into them. Mikail threw up on the ice, like... it was a mess, then, that little blonde girl, Lexi? She tripped trying to skate backward and hit her knee and her mother couldn't come and get her until after the class and anytime you tried to put her down she just did this whimpering cry thing so it was -- I ended up spending the rest of the class with her on my hip, because showing footwork that off balanced was absolutely perfect." The sarcasm was still clear and the eye rolls were still there in the description, but the anger seemed to have left the young man.

Victor tilted his head as he looked at Yuri, trying to figure out what had happened in St. Petersburg while he had been gone. "How many classes do you teach?"

"Yuri is my assistant." The answer was swift from Yakov. Yuri didn't have coaching credentials. That was another reason they needed to have Victor -- that man did.

"Why hasn't Yuri gotten his credentials?" It was a simple question and he didn't expect the overly dramatic sigh as Yuri plopped back into his chair. "What?"

"I'm busy. Okay? I am very busy and I haven't -- fine, I'll get them. Give us a week, just give us a week and I'll get them and --"

"Yura!" Lilia cut him off as she moved to the boy's side, placing a hand on his shoulder. "No. You have more than enough. You are doing more than enough. You can not push yourself harder. What happens happens."

"You think he's going to stay? We'll be lucky if he stays a week and you know it. He's just going to run off again and leave everyone." The pain in the man's voice clear as Yuri looked from Yakov to Lilia.

"Yura." This time it was from Yakov. "You have to give people second chances."

"Yeah, well, I'm too busy to do that. I will be at the ballet studio all morning. I have the 8 am and 9 am classes as well. So I need to do his tour of the rink before that. I don't give a shit if it's tonight or if it's before my 8 am. Either way, he's not going to like that." The anger had faded away to pain and exhaustion.

"Yuri …" No Yurio, no Japanese pronunciation of the name, this time just Yuri's name as it was meant to be. "We will do it whenever is good for you."

"I'd rather just get it over tonight." Yuri took a deep breath than a sip of his tea. He knew Lilia and Yakov didn't need him acting out now.

"If tonight is better for you, we will do it tonight." Yes, Victor was jet-lagged and exhausted, but he was realizing he wasn't as exhausted as the young man collapsed in that chair.

* * *

An hour later after Yakov had briefed Victor on more about the ice skaters and Yuri had added in the information from the past two days, once again Yuri was in his car with Victor. "Have you eaten?"

Yuri looked over at Victor, asking, "Are you hungry?"

"A little …"

"Lilia has a lot of food at her place, I was just going to grab something when we got there. I have Yakov's car there, we're going to give that to you while you're here." 

"Of course." Those worried pale eyes stayed on Yuri though as the boy drive, finally reaching the Sportsplex to park in Yakov's spot. Yuri didn't seem to act like anyone was going to say anything -- as if they were used to seeing that car in that spot.

He led the way in, knowing which keys were which to the Sportsplex with the same familiarity most people had with their own house keys. "Fuck, I forgot to get Yakov's keys from him, so I'll just give you mine." He led the way past familiar doors and finally up the stairs to the office, and as Yuri went quickly up the stairs, Victor was more certain than ever that something was very much wrong with the boy's body. He remembered the last time he had followed Yuri anywhere when the boy had been rushing that the stairs had been taking two by two in perfect balance. 

"Yuri?" 

"What?" he turned as he was unlocking Yakov's office. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at Victor.

"I …" What did he say to a look like that? It was clear that they had never really gotten over everything.

"I didn't realize." There was so much that he didn't realize that he knew that statement at least was true.

"Didn't realize what?" The dismissive tone hurt, but Yuri didn't even look at him as he walked into the office. It was clean -- cleaner than Victor remembered.

"That Yakov wanted me here."

Yuri rolled his eyes at that. "Yes yes, you're Victor. You're such a nice person you just forget and don't realize things. No one should ever remain mad at you because it's not your fault. Whatever." He rolled his shoulders as he went right to the whiteboard. "This is the schedule of what happens where. Blue is ice. Red is dance. Yellow is the education room. I used the Purple magnets for me, the green are Lilia, but her stuff is all unknown because she's probably going to be the one taking care of Yakov. The silver ones are you." Yuri wasn't even hiding the fact he had made a trip to an office supply store for this. The bag with whiteboard cleaner and erasers was on the floor right next to where the board was hanging.

Victor walked over to look at it, seeing how early everything started and how late it went. He just nodded though, he remembered how things were here -- how many students and how many abilities. Some people thought Yakov just had good luck with skaters -- or a good eye -- but for every exceptional skater, there were twenty or more that were so-so -- and Yakov taught them as well. That was how bills got paid.

"Since we're in the off seasons, there are some longer camps with younger students, that's what these blocks are. That's what I was doing most of this morning. They're skating, lunch dance skating for the most part. Rather have them throw up in the dance studio than on the ice, so we switched everything to have lunch before dance."

"And you do all the dance instruction?"

"Everything at the rink, yes. Those black marks? Those are the hours I am not available. The straight ones are I am at Lilia's studio. It's going to change though when we find out what she can do and who is taking over what. Hopefully, I'll just be filling in short-term aside from my normal classes there." Yuri was gesturing at the days he clearly had dance to teach, and if Victor was right, what the young man had himself down as doing was about fifty hours a week, not including the time driving from studio to rink.

"What are the squiggly lines?" There were about another sixteen hours a week of those.

"School. I have a few classes and some of the ballet teaching counts as class, but I'm in classes." Yuri sighed, knowing that this was a bad time for him to be going to school, but there wasn't much to be done about it.

"What school?"

Sighing, Yuri answered, "Saint Petersburg University. History if you want to know. I'm doing a thing where -- it's stupid. I have the kids at the studio dancing to historic pieces and using it for a paper for the end of the semester. Seeing what they can learn about history from dancing a historical piece and that stuff." Yuri just sighed as he took a blue marker and started to mark off some times in the early early morning and the late evening. "These times can be used if needed for other things. These are my ice times. I have an arrangement with some of the custodians that they check in every once in a while so that Yakov doesn't worry. You don't need to worry about being here at those times.

"You still skate?" That took Victor by surprise. He knew the question was wrong the second he saw how Yuri tensed at it. 

"Until all of this happened, I had been hoping to make an attempt at a GP Chase event in the fall." He had lost all of his standing in international competition. He'd need to work himself up from the very bottom.

"You just seem -- injured."

Yuri sighed as he let his head hang for a moment. "I am. But, this is as good as it's getting. So either I make it or I don't." He turned to look at Victor and the pain in his eyes was all too clear. "I've never had it easy, why should it be easy now. I'm overdue for my massage therapist, my chiropractor, and I slept on that couch last night -- so between all that and being on the ice since 6 AM today until I finally left to go get you, yes, I know I seem rough."

"You slept here?"

"Someone had to get all of this cleaned up." He sighed as he walked over to the desk to pull out a brand new agenda for 2021 and 2022. "You shouldn't have to worry too much about next year, but I have a few things in there anyway. This is this year though. I have everything moved to here instead of the million notes Yakov had and I think I got everything out of his email and onto here with who will be here, who won't be here. I have all the camps written down and I have the events we know we will have skaters attending. Honestly, I don't know how he kept track of anything with the system he had." Yuri opened it up to the week they were in, and it was full. So many things were written down for today and Saturday." Then he flipped to the next week and the lines were full of his not exactly neat, but at least legible writing.

Victor walked over to look at it. "That … is a lot."

"Yeah. So you can be here in the morning?" Yuri was already grabbing tape to put those onto his keys for the building so he could write which key was which on it.

"Of course." Victor hadn't realized exactly how much he really was needed. It was clear that his coach had been holding things together with sheer determination for a while -- then again, maybe he was waiting for when Yuri would finish school and be able to be his full-time assistant. No, that couldn't be it. He had seen the hours Yuri worked, and they were already past full time.

Yuri just pulled his car key off the ring to hand it over to Victor. "I'll get a real key ring made up for you tomorrow. I don't need it tonight, I'm just going to stay at Lilia's It's closer to the studio anyway."

Sighing, Yuri gestured around, "Everything else here, I think … It's all where you should be able to find it? If not, I'll keep my phone on me so call me if you need something. The class schedules are right here." Of course, the folder labeled 'class rosters' was very clear.

Victor picked up the one for his first class in the morning and saw that every student had some handwritten notes -- all in the same neat handwriting, and Victor was near positive that Yuri had done this between the time of Yakov's stroke and now.

"You did get some sleep last night, right?"

"I'm young, I'll be fine. Yes, though, a few hours."

"Let's get back to Lilia's. I could use a real shower and I think we could both use some sleep."

"Yeah. I hope I didn't keep you out too late to call your husband. You know my Japanese is shit if you want to call him in the car?"

This time it was Yuri's chance to see Victor tense. "No, it's fine. I sent him a message earlier."

Yuri just raised an eyebrow at that. Sure, he wasn't dating anyone and he sure as hell wasn't married. However, he knew in a similar situation if he had so much as thought that messaging Lilia would have been enough, he'd be dead. He knew this was a call situation. 

"Okay." It wasn't Yuri's job to make sure that Victor didn't get in trouble. He wasn't going to say anything more. "Let's get out of here. I'm hungry and I worry about Lilia being in the house alone while Yakov is in the hospital."

"But you stayed here last night?" Victor was following Yuri out to the car even as he asked.

"Yeah -- and she was at the hospital."

* * *

Victor let himself fall into silence as Yuri drove back to Lilia's house. It had been so many years since he had been there. Once the divorce had happened, he had moved out to his own place and Yakov had moved out to his own place -- neither of them having any reason to go back there. Of course, Victor had been invited for some holidays, but he had always found a reason that he couldn't come. It was easy to claim to be busy.

When Yuri parked in front of the house, the lights were already on. "Let's get your stuff inside, then we can get something to eat and you can grab a shower."

"Are you sure you don't want to go first?" Victor was watching the younger man more carefully now as a dance bag and a skate bag in leopard print were unloaded and then all of Victor's luggage was pulled out of the car. That still left a lot of things in the car -- but it mostly seemed like spare clothes.

  
  


"I'll be fine. I need to take care of some things and move all the costume boxes out of your room." With that, Yuri started to haul bags to the front door, still leaving the majority for Victor, but he was helping with the man's stuff.

Once inside, Yuri kicked off his shoes to haul everything over to the stairs, calling out, "Hauling Victor's shit up to his room. Be right there!" If Victor didn't know better, it sounded more like someone home than someone in another person's house. 

Once they got to the second floor, Victor knew he was right. What used to be 'the guest room' back when he had lived here as a teen was now clearly Yuri's room -- still. The walls were painted red, posters covered most of the paint though and the bed was some chaotic combination of animal prints. Victor didn't look too closely, but he saw Yuri's cat come leisurely strolling out of the room as Yuri threw the leopard print bags onto the bed.

"Oh, there is my baby. How is my most perfect princess." Yuri picked up the cat, feeling her just go limp with contentment at his presence as he pulled her in for a hug. "Such a good girl. Good little Potya, you go see Lilia, she's making dinner and I think a good girl like you deserves a little treat, don't you baby."

That was about the point where Yuri realized he had done that in front of Victor. "Fuck you." He set down the cat and opened the door to what would be Victor's room -- perhaps it was a little bit of a shock, and maybe Yuri hadn't known, but the walls were still the same soft lavender they had been, and the quilt was still the same with all the pastel colors that Victor had loved. The lace curtains, the soft white furniture. Even the rose decorated rug was the same. It was a near perfect time capsule that Victor walked into, a perfect reminder of his teen years.

Slowly turning around, Victor was looking at the room. He ignored as Yuri walked in and started to move some cardboard boxes from the floor, hauling them out to his own room -- which was considerably more crowded than the room that had been given to Victor -- no, re-given to Victor. Lilia had kept it his room. Gently, he placed a hand on one of the pillows, looking down at the bed that he had spent so many nights in. First, it had only been weeknights. The commute to his own house had been so long that it had been negatively impacting him. Then, when his parents had gotten a divorce, it was decided it was best for him to just live with his coach full time -- he had been almost sixteen then. 

Sighing, Victor realized, Yuri had moved into here at the same age he had moved in full time -- but before that, he had no idea where Yuri had been staying. In fact, he knew shockingly little about Yuri considering they had shared a rink for so many years. Truth be told, he knew so little about most of his rink mates. He knew about the people he had skated against that were at his level. Hell, he even knew some things about Georgi, but Yuri, Mila, any of the rest of them -- he didn't even remember some of their names.

"The bathroom is at the end of the hall. Towels are in the closet next to it. I know you probably brought a million things, but if you forgot anything, just use whatever you want in there. I'm headed down to get food." With that a very tired Yuri turned to walk away, now barefoot and in only leggings and a long-sleeved T-shirt. It was enough that Victor caught a glimpse of a scar on the young man's right foot.

Left there on his own, Victor considered putting a few things away in the drawers, but he couldn't. To put things away, it would feel too much like returning home -- and at that moment he realized that Saint Petersburg had never stopped being home. Yes, he had lived in Japan for years. He had called it home. He had tried to make it his home, but it had never been his home. No, this felt like home. This was the room of all his teenage frustrations. This was the room where he had gotten frustrated over homework. This is the room where he had gotten frustrated over girls … and then flustered over boys. This was the room where he had gotten very not frustrated with his first boyfriend. A soft smile on his lips as he gave in and let himself lie down on that bed -- just for a moment. He just needed a moment. He had failed to realize how tired he was though. As he felt his body sink into that so familiar soft mattress, his eyes closed and he drifted off to the first good night's sleep he had had in so long. He was home.


	4. The home you never realized you had

When Victor finally woke up, the sun was just beginning to shine through his window. He was still in his clothes from the night before, but he was feeling a lot better. If he was still on Japan time, this would have been late after all. He realized at some point in the night, someone had put a blanket over him and closed his door, he assumed it was Lilia.

He hadn't eaten last night, so by now he was hungry, but at the same time, he knew he was a mess. A shower wouldn't make him any later -- besides, glancing at his phone he knew he had enough time. The fact there were no messages, and in fact, no reply to his text that he had arrived was something he wasn't ready to deal with. It was better to just ignore that.

The bathroom had been remodeled since he had lived here. The ancient clawfoot bathtub with its shower attachment had been replaced with a beautiful modern soaking tub with what turned out to be one of the best shower heads he had ever experienced as it massaged his back - and that was saying something with all the fancy hotels he had stayed in.

The countertop was littered with Yuri's things, more proof the young man spent more time here than he had made it seem like. It was more than enough that by the time Victor left the bathroom, his hair was clean and back to its trademark softness and his skin was clean and moisturized. If he touched up a few things, thankful that Yuri's skin was pale -- even if it was a little paler than his own, he certainly wasn't going to tell anyone.

It was going to be a long day and on the ice, so Victor was dressed casually. Simple grey joggers with a black T-shirt and a matching gray jacket and he walked downstairs, the smells of breakfast cooking proving more than enough motivation. It was eerily reminiscent of his youth. He'd wake up, put on skating clothes and come down for breakfast, knowing he'd be riding with Yakov to the rink for the day while Lilia went off to teach dance. His ballet had always been taught at the rink or in the small studio downstairs. Unlike Yuri, he had not spent the time in Lilia's actual studio.

"Yurochka! Get your foot off of the cabinet! Potya, get down from there! Good girls do not beg for food. You are making a mess, here, just let me do it -- I … go and make tea!" As Victor reached the bottom of the steps he heard the yelling, but far from sounding annoyed, Lilia sounded … well, happy. "You are the reason I have to pay the maids extra when they clean every week, you and the footprints on the walls."

"I'm sorry, Mamoulya." There was a clear tease in the young man's voice as he did not just call Lilia 'mother' but a diminutive more befitting a little child.

"You are so much trouble. Here, now sit and drink your tea. You still look tired. What time did you go to bed?"

Then again, with how Lilia clearly did mother Yuri, perhaps the name was not misplaced. Victor made sure his steps were loud enough to be heard as he walked over to the kitchen in stocking feet. He knew better than to wear shoes in Lilia's house. "Good morning!" He called out to them as he approached the kitchen, momentarily stunned by the sudden cooling of the feeling of the room.

"Vitya, please sit. I will have breakfast ready in a moment. Yura already did most of the cooking." Lilia was just cracking eggs and occasionally stirring a pot of something as she waited for the electric tea kettle. 

Yuri glanced over at Victor, "I'm glad I didn't have to wake you up. I assumed you hadn't set an alarm."

"No, I -- appear to have been more tired than I thought I was."

"Coffee or tea?" Yuri stood up to grab mugs from the cabinet

"Which is easier?" He glanced around the kitchen, not seeing a coffee maker.

Yuri filled a coffee cup with hot water and then held up a container of instant coffee. "It doesn't matter to me."

Victor's eyes widened at the instant coffee. He had been in Japan for so long that he had forgotten how popular that stuff still was here. Yes, there were coffee shops everywhere and he had had a fancy European coffee machine in his old apartment. However, Yakov and Lilia were so much older, they still had instant coffee instead of a coffee pot. Well, Yakov had broken down from enough complaining and there was a very simple coffee maker in his office at the rink, but in the house -- it was instant. He tried to decide how much he wanted coffee versus how much he did not want to drink instant coffee. "Instant is fine." He needed coffee today. He'd figure out something better, just not right now.

Yuri set the mug and the container down next to Victor with a spoon. He had no idea how to make instant coffee, he was leaving it to Victor. Unfortunately, Victor still remembered as he spooned the crystals into the hot water.

"Milk? Sugar?" Yuri was setting a few things down on the table as Victor took a sip of the bitter brew. "Sugar, milk, yes." Anything to cover the taste was very much needed. But the time Yuri had made tea for Lilia and then had a mug for himself, Victor had managed to add enough things to his coffee to make it palatable. He then watched Yuri take a large spoon of raspberry jam and plunk it into his tea before stirring it. Once again, reminded of how different things were here than in Japan.

Yuri had hardly taken his first sip of his tea when Lilia walked over to place porridge with fruit in front of both Yuri and Victor -- and yes, Victor noticed she gave Yuri his first. Then they were both given a plate with two eggs sunny side up. It was typical and so familiar. Victor couldn't even begin to count the number of times he had had this exact same meal -- except with tea. When he had been young he had drunk tea just like Lilia had. Coffee was for Yakov.

Only once both of them had their food did Lilia sit down with her own food, just porridge, but hers with a swirl of honey for just a little sweetness. She maintained local honey was good for a person though, and always had.

"Thank you for cooking." Yuri actually smiled as he ate at a slightly faster pace than most people would use.

"Yes, thank you, Lilia." Victor added his gratitude as he watched the two of them. It was amazing how comfortable they were around each other. He didn't think he had ever been that comfortable around Yakov's wife -- and that was probably why. He had always thought of her as Yakov's wife, and clearly, Yuri thought of her something much closer to family.

"Do you have everything you need packed for class today?" Lilia was looking at Yuri as she said it.

"Mmmhmmm. Besides, I have backups for everything in the car. I just need to borrow your studio keys. Victor has my keys until we can get Yakov's. Or should I just make another set? Maybe I should just make another set this afternoon."

"Do you have time?"

"Yeah -- I can go to that place by that sandwich place I like. Combine it with lunch, it'll be fine." Yuri sighed as he grabbed his phone to go through it, sending off a few texts as he ate. "Oh, And Victor needs the extra key for Yasha's car." And yes, when Yakov wasn't there, he evidently referred to Yakov as Yasha. Victor was pretty sure that wasn't something he did to the man's face.

"Of course. Victor, you remember the way to the rink from here, yes?" Lilia stood up to begin clearing dishes as she asked him.

"Yes, I won't get lost, besides, if I do, I have maps on my phone." He smiled, trying to give them both his best photo worthy smile as he fell into his normal persona.

"Yeah yeah." Yuri shrugged, "Even you aren't so stupid as to forget a way you've gone hundreds of times in your life."

With a kiss to Lilia's cheek as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Yuri walked over to grab his bags from where they were sitting in the living room. "I'm off. If I am going to make it through today I need to get some stretching done first. I'll see you at the rink Victor before the dance part of camp. If you need anything, call me. If I'm running late, I'll text. Just after skating make them eat and stretch."

With that, Yuri went running off, acting as if this were a typical day with staying here. With how Lilia had acted towards the young man, Victor was certain it was true.

Victor closed his eyes for a moment, both hands feeling the heat of the coffee through the sides of the mug. He was left here alone with Lilia - something that had not happened for so long. He should have expected it. He should have been prepared for it. He had agreed to come to live here for a short time while they determined how Yakov was doing and how long he would be forced to rest.

"Thank you for letting me stay here." Victor looked up at the stern woman, his blue eyes no longer playing the farce of airhead, now there was something colder in them.

"Of course." She looked back at him, fire burning in her own green -- and how similar she was to Yuri was only more clear. This was not a woman who ever backed down.

"You didn't change anything in my room."

Lilia tilted her head as she looked at Victor. "No. It is the same -- " She almost didn't continue, she almost let her thoughts remain unvoiced. She knew she should not say anything. She knew that they needed this man right now and that saying something might make him run -- again. "It's still the home you never realized you had." This wasn't just coldness in her tone, it was bitterness. If there was anything that Lilia knew, it was how to be bitter. Her youth was gone. Her marriage had fallen apart for so many years. She had lost her husband to the skating world, not as if she had ever actually had him from that. It had always been skating before her. Then again, it had always been ballet before him, so perhaps it was fitting.

"Lilia -- I …" She was right. It was always hardest to argue with what was true. "I'm sorry." He dropped his eyes. He had never let himself get close to her. He hadn't even spoken to her at any of the competitions he had an opportunity to see her at. He had been avoiding her for years -- so many years.

She walked over to where Victor was sitting, seeing the man's shoulders slump. "You'll be late if you don't leave now."

Victor nodded, "Yes -- I … thank you for breakfast, Lilia." He sighed as he stood up, walking over to grab his skate bag and taking the keys she offered him. He didn't want to talk about his past with her, he didn't want to think about his past. The heartbreak of all those years ago might be fresh right now because he was here and the reminders of that time were everywhere -- but they were nothing compared to the heartache and pain he had left in Japan.

"Of course, Vitya. Just -- please. Try to …" She sighed as she looked across the kitchen, her eyes focused on the fireplace in the living room. "Try to not hurt them when you leave this time." She knew it was an impossible request.

Even as Victor was left speechless in the kitchen, she walked across the room and into the living room. She paused, picking up the photo that was over the mantle. Happier times. It had been Yuri's final year where he was skating, and he had just won another gold. The picture of Yakov and Yuri smiling and hugging as Yuri pulled her into the hug as well had been her favorite photo from all the competitions. It was -- it was the photo where they looked like a family.

"I'll do my best." Victor didn't say anything else. She was right. He knew it now. His entire life, he had left a wake of people abandoned and hurt in his wake. Without a further word, he left the house. He had to be at the rink. He needed to not let Yakov down for once. He needed to … he needed to pay the man back some for everything the man had done to help him. Yes, Victor knew he could have been a skating star for almost any coach -- but Yakov had been the best coach for him. He had been the closest to a caring family that Victor had ever had.

* * *

Hours later and Victor had the students eating lunch. He'd been running the students through their jumps all morning, without having had a chance to talk to Yakov about what he had planned, it seemed like the best use of everyone's time.

He sat at a table, his feet up on a chair as he watched the students at the tables eating. Yuri hadn't texted him about being late, and there were still another thirty minutes before dance instruction was supposed to start.

Just as Victor was considering telling them to hurry up -- he was positive Yakov didn't give them this much time to eat, he heard the door open behind him. As Yuri walked in, already looking exhausted and not hiding the fact he had a knee brace on his right leg, Victor felt his eyes narrowing. There was no way Yakov could be all right with Yuri attempting to go back into professional skating. The more confusing thing, he had been positive it had been the ankle that had been hurt all those years ago.

Yuri just tossed a key ring to the man. "Trade you. I plan on sleeping in my own bed tonight, so my own keys would be nice."

Just nodding, Victor dug out the keys from his pocket as Yuri started to yell, "You have five minutes to finish up eating and clean up and then I expect everyone in the studio and ready to work. Hair up. Don't forget. If you roll your eyes at me I want to be able to see it."

Victor didn't say anything about Yuri's own hair being down, or about how long it was getting. Instead, he asked, "Your knee?"

"I twisted it on a grand jette, it happens. No big. Just keeping the brace on it to be cautious." Yuri shrugged as he narrowed his eyes to look at the students. "I said five minutes and that leaves four so hurry up. I'm not Victor, I'm not going to let you get away with any shit." He clapped his hands to make sure they were all paying attention before spinning on his good heel to had to the studio.

For a moment, Victor wasn't sure what seemed strange about it -- then he realized. He was so used to skating that he, and everyone he knew always spun like that in a counterclockwise direction. Yuri had just spun clockwise as if it were perfectly natural -- then again, none of the skaters that Victor knew had half as much dance exposure as Yuri did. It probably made the young man more able to do things on either foot.

As Victor hurried the straggler students from the room and into the dance studio, he paused at the door. Classical music was already playing and the knee brace was gone. Yuri was wearing tight leggings and a skin-tight long-sleeved T-shirt along with black ballet shoes. He was already getting people stretching, either on the floor or on the barre depending on what he wanted from them. Sometimes it was easy to think nothing had changed in the years he had been gone from this city -- Yuri had changed though. While still short, he had gained several centimeters when puberty hit. He wasn't as tall as Victor was, but he had grown a bit and broadened just slightly. A little more muscle mass, but still slender and lithe. Yuri had never looked like a skater, he had always looked more like a dancer.

As he saw Yuri walking around the room, tutting and repositioning people as they were stretching, it was easy to see where Lilia's influence had colored the young man's teaching.

Even knowing the man's knee was injured, there was nothing that depicted any injury in how Yuri's back remained straight and his form so sharp. Victor stayed for a few minutes, seeing how Yuri moved everyone into exercises and knowing how those same poses would translate to better form on the ice. This was not ballet for dancers, it was ballet for skaters and Yuri quickly proved his flexibility had never left.

Yuri was demonstrating positions to the girls in the group, not foolish enough to think that most of the boys were ready to even come close to this. He had them stretching, working towards the same goal, but the girls at the moment were getting the one on one.

Without saying anything, Victor left him to teaching as he walked back up to the office, finding the vodka to pour into a glass as he looked over the rosters and all of Yakov and Yuri's notes. There was so much to learn, so many students to get caught up, so much different here than he had had at the Ice Castle back in Japan. No, this was the St Petersburg program that had spit out so many skilled skaters over the year, and it was clear, it had been being designed for Yuri to take it over eventually. 

Victor sighed, swirling his vodka. He had come here and taken another thing from Yuri. That was all he seemed to do, barge in or abandon the young man. Other people didn't see it. Victor saw it though. He knew what it felt like to not be the favorite no matter how much you tried -- maybe that was why he had responded so well to Yakov. From the moment that Yakov had become his coach, Victor had been Yakov's favorite. He knew how that had to dig into Yuri. Even after all these years. Even after Victor had abandoned his coach. Even after everything, he was still Yakov's favorite and that was why he had been called -- and why he had come.

Regardless of the mess he had left in Japan, he had come for Yakov. It had just been an easy decision because he no longer had Yuuri anchoring him in Japan. The divorce would be final in just a few more weeks. One year of separation. Living under the same roof but separately. He hated it, feeling adrift -- this though, this place was home. He needed to make this work.

For the next two hours, Victor went over every piece of data on the skating program that he could find. He had to make this work. He'd figure things out with Yuri later. He'd figure out things with Lilia later. Once his teaching duties were done here, he was going to go to see Yakov again, to speak to the man. This was his home and had been his home since he had been nine. He had been a fool to leave it. No, he had been in love. Then again, maybe those two things were the same. He wasn't going to make that mistake again. This time, he was staying -- not for a few weeks, or the summer, or the season. No, this was his home.

* * *

As the time for ballet ended, Victor walked down to the studio, planning on making sure the kids quickly went from ballet to the rink again. When he arrived, he saw the class broken into two groups, one was being led through barre work while the other half was working on floor stretches. 

Even as Yuri was barking orders at the group on the bar, he was demonstrating a way to deepen splits on the ground and Victor very much realized that Yuri had not let himself slip at all in his time away from competition.

As Yuri looked up, he caught Victor's image in the mirror and straightened, "OK! That is it, time for everyone to get back on the ice. Drink some water and get into your skate clothes." He stood up, his hair thrown into a messy bun -- maybe it had been neat when he had started, no, Victor was willing to bet it had started out artfully messy. Yuri had lived with Lilia for much too long for him to not be able to competently put his hair into a bun when he wished.

What Victor didn't expect was for Yuri to walk over to him, still covered in sweat. "They did good. I'll mail you a report so you know what's going on with each of them, but they should all be ready for you to work them for the remaining time on the ice.

Victor's gaze wasn't caught on Yuri's eyes, even though he knew on some level with the young man's hair pulled back, he was more able to see those gorgeous eyes. What his eyes focused on though was the single thing marring the young man's near perfect visage. The scar was barely an inch above Yuri's right eyebrow. It was jagged, about two inches long and had clearly been stitched with more than a little skill. In fact, the scar was faint for how long it was -- and Victor knew exactly where that scar was from. With all the other whisperings of injuries there had been and with all the time he had spent once back here in Saint Petersburg trying to decide how bad Yuri had hurt his leg -- he hadn't stopped to think of the head injury.

"That's worse than I thought it was." He was looking at the scar, honestly, he'd seen worse, but knowing that that had just been blunt force trauma of the man's head hitting the ice -- it was bad.

"Yeah, I worried Lilia and Yakov with it. I didn't wake up for like two hours. They did a cat scan and --- never mind, it's not a big deal." Yuri walked past Victor, no sign of a limp right now and Victor didn't notice any sort of bracing on the young man's leg either. 

He was left there frowning for a few moments though. The intonation of the statement a clear indication that Yuri didn't think that he cared. Then again, Victor knew he had been very good at seeming like he didn't care about Yuri -- no not just Yuri, about anyone here in Saint Petersburg. There was no greater proof of this than the fact that everyone had been so surprised when he had flown back when Yakov had had Yuri call him. Why it was only Yakov that had faith in him was something Victor very much was able to understand. When he had run off to Japan, he had left so many people behind. Yes, he had been in love. Yes, it had been exciting to think of coaching someone he felt such passion for. Yes, the relationship had been amazing and the sex -- oh the sex had been mind-blowing. It wasn't an excuse though. He could have done much better in keeping in touch. That whole first year after Yuri had gone back to Russia, they had only spoken when they ran into each other at competitions. He had hoped that it wouldn't have ended up with the bitterness, but competition could so easily lead to such feelings.

* * *

By the time Victor was done with the skaters for the day, he was certain that Yuri would have left. It wasn't as if he had to be there after the ballet portion of the day. As he made his way back up to the office, he was surprised to see the light still on in there. Maybe Yuri had just left it on by accident.

As soon as Victor got to the door, he knew that wasn't true. Instead, Yuri was sitting on the desk, a laptop in front of him as he was intently typing. The ballet slippers had been removed, but they hadn't been replaced with anything, and Victor was sure that Yakov would have yelled at this. He didn't though. Instead, he paused, taking in how intently Yuri was typing on the laptop -- and Victor quickly realized that laptop had an English keyboard. Maybe it helped explain why Yuri was using that instead of the normal computer in here. Of course, all the keyboards here had the English characters on them as well and the software to swap keyboards was installed by default. It was a little clunkier though. Victor knew from his time in Japan how much easier it was to use an actual Japanese keyboard than a dual language one.

"What are you doing?" He paused in the doorway, just leaning against the entrance.

"I have an English paper that I forgot about due tonight so I'm skipping skating until I get this done." He brushed a few strands of hair back as he frowned at the screen. Then he straightened up, arching his back. 

"I was just going to look over the information on the students. I can do it tomorrow if that would be better for you." Victor tried to remember if Yuri had ever shown this much interest in his school work before. No, he was pretty sure he remembered a teenage Yuri being near forcibly dragged off to go to the homework room when it was time to work on his studied. Victor didn't know what had changed.

"I don't care. I can move anywhere I just …" He reached out to take a sip of the cup of coffee -- clearly coffee and from a real coffee shop.

"Is there a coffee place near here now?"

"Yeah, they put one in just across the street by where that eye doctor is. You know the one Yakov threatens to haul everyone to when they miss their jumps?

Victor laughed at that, "Yeah -- although he's been right a few times." Then Victor noticed something. The hair that had slipped form the bun had been hiding it, and Yuri's back had been to him, but Yuri was actually wearing glasses.

"Yeah, he finally made good to drag my ass there."

"When did you get glasses?"

"They're just for reading or working on the computer. I'm fine on my phone without them."

Victor couldn't help how his lips slipped into a little grin at the thought of Yuri wearing reading glasses.

"I'm going to go to the coffee shop, do you need anything or are you good?"

"Uh yeah…" Yuri started to reach for his wallet before realizing he was in dance shorts. "Yeah let me grab something. Just another large dark roast, like five sugars if you don't snitch to Lilia."

"Don't worry I got it." Victor tried not to catch his lower lip with his teeth, but the worried gesture happened regardless.

Yuri didn't press too hard, if Victor wanted to buy him coffee, far be it for him to stop the man.

As Victor left, he kept looking at how familiar everything was. Sure, there was a new coffee shop, and yes, Yakov wasn't here right now -- but so much else remained the same. Yes, the banners changed and he was sure all the flags had been replaced at some point. The ice was still amazing though -- not like the 90s, but that had been a short-lived thing. 

Walking out of the building to see the endless sea of cars and people walking by -- yes, this was what he remembered. Even the chill air a reminder of how this place had been his home for so long. He had missed it, he had missed it so much.

By the time he had returned with coffee, his own coffee much fancier than the one that he had picked up for Yuri, he found the office looking different. Now, instead of working on the laptop, Yuri was going over 8 pages he had clearly printed out and marking on them in red pen. Edits. At least edits meant that he was getting close to done.

"How's it going?" He walked in, handing over the coffee and looking at Yuri, really looking this time.

"Good, I think this is just maybe an hour from done. Then all I have left are my final papers for the semester and then I have a week off of school." 

"Summer classes?"

"Yeah, I am just signed up for two. English, which is a joke, and another history class. Yuri sighed as he looked over at Victor, noticing how the man was looking at him. "What?"

Victor let his eyes drop as he sighed, "Yakov knew I would come because things were going poorly in Japan."

"Poorly?" Yuri tilted his head as he kept looking at Victor, his stare intense as if he could find the truth behind the words.

"Yuuri and I are getting a divorce. It will be finalized next month."

"Oh…" Honestly, Yuri didn't know what to say to that. He had thought everything was fine there. He knew about the skating camps at the ice castle. He saw the pictures posted on social media of Yuuri and Victor coaching their skaters. He saw the pictures of the two, the Katsuki-Nikiforovs in the kiss and cry with a smiling Minami or whatever other skater they had with them at the time. Maybe he shouldn't be so surprised that Victor had been fake on social media. However, "I wouldn't think Katsudon would be the type to fake happy for Instagram."

That hurt. Victor knew it wasn't even meant to hurt him though. No, it was just blunt truth that Yuri had said before he even thought about what he was saying.

"He didn't want to cause drama or problems for anyone."

"That sounds like him." Yuri paused as he looked at the older man. The tiredness suddenly making more sense than it had before. "What did you do to him?"

"What do you mean what did I do?"

"He worshiped you. You were his entire fucking world. You think I am not going to assume you did something?" Yuri didn't even try to hide the accusation in his tone. No, this had to be Victor's fault Victor always ruined everything, so it only made sense that it was the man's fault that the relationship had fallen apart.

"I wish I knew." Victor looked up at the ceiling, the spot in the corner still water damaged from when years ago the pipe in the ceiling had dripped. He would have thought that would be fixed by now.

"What do you mean?" The paper was put aside for the moment as Yuri turned to face Victor more fully.

"It just -- stopped working." Victor shrugged his shoulders and then grabbed his bag and his coat. "I'm going to go see Yakov." Yuri had his own car, it wasn't as if they had to leave at the same time. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. The pain was still there. Losing Yuuri was like losing a part of himself, and it hurt. Losing him hurt more than the fighting or any cruel words, but he knew it was over. His marriage was nothing but a piece of paper waiting for a judge's signature to end it in a few weeks. "When I know the court dates, I'll tell you. I'll need to fly back to Japan for just a few days for that"

"Of course." Yuri was left there, stunned. How could that have happened? For as much as he hated Victor and as much as he no longer talked to Yuuri, he had assumed those two would be together forever. Somehow, Yuuri's hero complex about Victor had not been enough to make the man ignore every annoying habit the man had -- and every self-destructive habit as well.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that shine of hero worship had faded. Maybe once Yuuri saw the same self centered Victor who had a cruel and nasty side -- maybe that had been the beginning of the end. Yuri knew what Victor was. He'd known the man for most of his life, he wasn't fooled by the appearance or the hype at all.

He had a paper to write though and losing time thinking about Victor and Yuuri would not get that written. Putting the thoughts aside, he went back to work. That was his life though. Victor would flounce in, turn things upside down, the Yuri would need to just get back to work despite the interruption. He was used to it.


	5. Under the facade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I will be updating this weekly on Thursdays/Fridays
> 
> While this is in progress and not done yet, I am about 70K words into this. So updates should be very reliable until this is posted in its entirety. I'm writing faster than I'm posting.
> 
> That being said, this is my first VIcturio and I really love hearing what people think? to a/ twitter / tumblr, it all works :)

Victor should have expected the rest of the weekend to go exactly as it had. He had spent some time with Yakov, learning a lot about the man's insights into his current group of students. He also learned that Lilia and Yuri were the ones doing all of the choreography these days -- and it was made very clear that mostly that was Yuri. Victor refrained from pointing out that doing that much choreography was more or less a full-time job without the rest of the responsibilities they had given Yuri.

The house that night had seemed so empty. Without Yuri there, Potya was the only one saying anything most of the time -- even more so when she realized that Victor was a pushover and would share his food with her. 

The next morning, Victor woke up late, having needed to catch up on his sleep with how hectic everything had been. He heard Yuri walking around the house, complaints this time seemed centered around a final project he evidently had to turn in two days earlier than had been expecting. When Victor walked downstairs, assuming that Yuri was joining them for breakfast, he realized how wrong he was. Yuri was wearing a button up and his hair was pulled back, completely slicked into a ponytail at the base of his neck. He even had dress pants on. Lili was in a long dress, with a scarf thrown over her hair in its typical bun.

"Sorry if I woke you up." Yuri looked over at the other man. Clearly, he'd been up for a while already. "We were just about to leave."

"Leave?"

"I am taking Lilia to church." With how matter of fact Yuri said that it was clear that this was a typical event. 

Lilia sighed as she looked at Victor, "We assumed you had no desire to go."

Victor found himself shaking his head before he could even really think about it. He hadn't been to church in so very long. Since Lilia and Yakov's divorce. When he had lived her, Lilia had dragged him. That was one of the things his parents had approved of, and it was good for his image at the time.

He was left standing there in the sitting room as the other two left. It wasn't as if he had had enough time to get ready even if he had wanted to go with them.

While they were gone, Victor made himself some coffee, adding milk and sugar because he hadn't done anything about the instant coffee situation yet. He had a lot of thinking to do.

As he sat in the kitchen, the bright morning sun streaming in through the windows, Victor took out his phone. He'd been hiding for too long. 

> << Sorry for all the extra work from the camps
> 
> << Yakov is still in the hospital here, but he was looking more like himself last night
> 
> << We're hoping he'll be able to come home for his rehab

Victor sat there, watching his phone and uncertain if he'd be hearing anything from his soon to be ex-husband. The man deserved to know what was going on. He also deserved an apology -- more of an apology than Victor has given.

A light breakfast, a shower, and soon Victor was dressed casually, a soft grey sweater and black pants. Nice -- but not too nice. He knew he always looked too much like a model, Maybe not anymore. Maybe pain and the realization that he let everyone down had taken that edge from him. 

An hour later, and he knew Lilia and Yuri would be gone for at least another hour, he heard his phone chime. Picking it up, he glanced at the message.

> >> I'm glad to hear he is doing well.
> 
> >> Are you settling in well?

Victor bit his lip. A question about him, it was so long since he had seen such a message.

> << I always do best when I am needed and I am very needed here.

Victor hated how true that was, but it was true. When Yuuri had needed him, things had been amazing. Before that when he had been Yakov's only hope at a medal for so many years, it had been wonderful. 

> >> I'm glad, Victor

Victor let his finger run over the message for a moment. Victor, not Vitya. Even as he felt the tears start to fall, he managed to type a response.

> << I just wanted you to know. 
> 
> << When there is a date to sign the papers, tell me and I will fly out.
> 
> >> Of course.

That would make it official. Signing the divorce papers. With that, everything that Victor had left Russia for would be nothing, just like his life felt.

He couldn't take it, this house and the reminders of the life he had almost had -- this house where he was intruding. Letting his phone clatter to the carpet, he stood up, moving towards the door. He had to go and get some fresh air. He had to go think.

* * *

"That took forever!" Yuri was well into complaining as he and Lilia arrived back at the house. "Old Geezer! We're home!"

"Everyone wanted to know how Yakov was doing, it would have been inconsiderate to leave before speaking to everyone." Lilia walked into the sitting room, pausing as she saw a phone on the floor.

"I know, I know, just -- I was standing for so long. What's that?" Yur's complaining was interrupted by seeing Lilia lean down to gingerly pick something up.

"Is this Victor's phone?"

"Yeah." Yuri walked over, frowning as he took it from Lilia's hand. "Victor!" Yuri yelled. Glancing towards the door, he saw the man's shoes were gone as well as his coat and that was enough for Yuri to plug in the man's passcode into the phone. Of course, the code was Yuuri's birthday. Victor was nothing if not predictable.

He frowned as he looked through the most recent activity on the phone and then sighed, "Fucking, stupid Victor."

"Watch your language!"

Yuri rolled his eyes as he shook his head, "Victor and Katsudon are getting a divorce. That's why he came, Lilia. He was looking for an excuse to run away and we gave it to him. And now guess what? He's run away again -- this time not far." With a sigh, he looked up at the ceiling, "Should I go get him?"

"You know where he is?"

"There are exactly two places to go to if you need space near here and he forgot his car keys."

"Are you sure?" Lilia's brow was furrowed as she looked at the young man.

"I spent my most hormonal teenage years here. Trust me, if there is a good place to go off and sulk and brood near here, I've found it." The flat tone and sarcasm had just the slightest hint of a smile to it.

"That's the problem with having a teenager." She walked to him, wrapping him into a hug as she whispered, "Be gentle with him. Vitya … Vitya and I never got on well, but -- he too was a … lost child. Be patient with him, my Yurochka. Remember, you have something he doesn't."

Yuri looked confused as he looked back at Lilia, slipping his shoes back on. What did he have that Victor didn't? Aside from a short program high score, there wasn't a thing he had that Victor didn't. He'd never managed to catch up to the man, no matter how hard he tried.

"I'll call you when I find him. Be back soon." He was certain he'd find Victor soon -- what he didn't count on was that Victor had evidently forgotten where all the best places were near Lilia's, or maybe in the years they had changed. Yuri had been sulking around the neighborhood only three or so years ago. Victor hadn't been a teenager for much much longer. Finding him was not going to be so easy.

* * *

It had gotten late, and Yuri was feeling so stiff as he kept looking for Victor. He had checked every last place he could think of looking. Every place he had run off to as a teenager -- or even more recently. He was trying to think. Where would Victor go? Every park had been checked, every coffee shop -- he had sent so many texts back to Lilia to make sure the man hadn't shown up back there. 

Finally, Yuri stopped to catch his breath, trying to think as he leaned against a street lamp. He'd walked for miles by this point and this was rapidly turning into a fruitless search, but he felt he had to keep looking. He was not going to go back until he found Victor -- not that Yuri would admit he was worried.

Every idea he had was impossible. The weather was too warm now for outdoor skating rinks. He had called and made sure he wasn't at any of the indoor ones. No, if the answer wasn't the ice -- where else did Victor go when he was upset. That was when he heard it, the call of a seagull in the distance. The ocean, so many times he had found Victor staring out at the water back in Japan.

He didn't know if he was right. It was the only thing he could think of, the only thing he had going for his search right now, so he started walking towards the water. 

He could feel every step now in his ankle and knee, the pain transferring up to his hips. His lower back ached -- he had planned to spend the evening soaking in a bath, not chasing Victor across the city.

Then, Yuri saw him. He paused, not sure if he should approach or if he should let the man be. No, Victor had been alone long enough -- more than long enough. Yuri had read over the conversation with Katsuki, and he knew more than he wanted to know about the state of their relationship. He had seen the harsh words texted back and forth. He could tell the despair and hopelessness in those messages. No, Victor had not been lying, that relationship was over. He'd been so alone in Japan, it was so much clearer now. 

With a deep breath, Yuri crossed the distance, walking over to stand next to Victor as he leaned onto the same small wall as the older man. "You had us worried." He tried to keep any accusations out of his voice as he said it.

"I'm sorry." Victor didn't turn to look, his eyes just looking at the ocean. It was so similar yet so different from the ocean in Hasetsu. This one was his home though -- that one had just been a lie.

"Don't be sorry. We … we've not been good to you since you came." Yuri let his gaze drop to where his hands rested on the wall.

"I hardly think you're the one that needs to be apologizing here Yurio." Victor's eyes widened with a sudden inhale as he realized what he had said. It had been so many years since he had used that name. Then he realized, it was as long as it had been since he had last actually talked to the young man. This was another relationship he had let fall apart as he clung desperately to Yuuri.

"Still not my name." Yuri sighed though perhaps understanding more than ever what was going on. "But -- you don't have to call me by my name. If you want to call me that, I don't care. I'll give you permission." The sting of that name had faded. Before, where it had stung of being second place, the new kid who had to change his name because someone with his name already existed, now in a way it was a reminder of happier times. "But if you would rather -- we are in Russia. You could call me Yura."

"Yura?" With the age difference between them, maybe it was all right to use that name. He knew calling the man Yurouchka pissed him off -- and rightfully so. When Lilia or Yakov used it, it came from a place of love. He knew he had turned that name into a weapon.

"If you want. It's fine. Just if you call me Coach Nikolaevich I swear I'll find something to hit you with. That's what I hear all day. Coach Nikolaevich, I have to go potty. Coach Nikolaevich I'm hungry. Coach … you get the picture." Yuri smiled as he looked over to Victor, tilting his head and giving him a smile as he handed over the phone. "Also, you need a better passcode."

"You guessed it?"

"First try. Honestly, old man, you are so predictable."

Finally, Victor smiled back at him, even if that smile was tinged with sadness and regrets. "I need to work on that then, Yura. You know how I do love surprising people."

Yuri laughed, shaking his head. "Honestly, trust me, you surprised me today. I checked every coffee shop I could think of, both dog parks, the used bookstore, every last damn park that exists -- then I finally found you here."

"You didn't have to come looking for me."

"Yes, yes I did. Like it or not old man, you're …" Yuri stopped. Was Victor family? He was like a son to Yakov, Yuri knew that. No matter how many years had passed since Victor had left, he was still the son Yakov had always wanted.

Yuri looked up at the sky, it was starting to get dark -- it would be dark by the time they made the long walk home to Lilia's. With how sore Yuri was now, he knew he wasn't going to be making good time on that walk either.

"Yes, Victor, I had to come looking for you. There is one person in this world that I would move heaven and earth for, and you worried her today. I don't know what happened between you and Lilia, she doesn't talk about such things. What I do know is that she worries. There are precious few people that she worries about, and you are one of them."

"So that's why you came for me? Because I worry Lilia?" Victor wasn't sure if that was the truth -- then again, he honestly didn't think that his disappearance worried the woman. He had honestly expected something more akin to relief that she no longer had to deal with him being in her house.

"Yes, idiot. You worried Lilia and Lilia is the closest thing I have in my life to a family. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a mother. So yes, if you worry Lilia and get her to fret and worry, that means I will walk across half of Saint Petersburg to find you because you left your damn phone in the house so I couldn't just call."

Victor looked at Yuri. While he didn't know if that explanation was the truth, he did know that it was a truth, and maybe that was good enough.

"I need to apologize for worrying her then."

"Damn straight you do. Now, this is all your fault, so you're going to call us an uber and we're riding in a car back to the house because I'm now stiff as fuck and we still need to go see Yakov today. Lilia has been making excuses so that he doesn't realize anything is wrong because the last thing we need is a reason for his blood pressure to go up. So, I guess I found you for him too. You always were his favorite."

"No, I wasn't."

"Victor? Even you can't be so stupid as to believe that. Everyone knows you were, are, and always will be his favorite. No one has ever been able to take your place to that man."

Victor let his eyes drop as he pulled up the app to get a car to their location. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone I -- " He sighed, uncertain as to how to continue that -- or even if he should.

"No, Victor, I know. You're … an idiot. You aren't cruel -- most of the time. Whatever happened between you and Katsuki -- you didn't mean for that to happen either. I know you would never want to hurt him. You didn't want to hurt me. You didn't want to hurt Yakov. You didn't want to hurt Lilia." Yuri sighed. It was true. Victor wasn't evil -- he just always seemed to do things without thinking about others.

"I'm sorry."

"Not now, we'll talk about this later. I'm hungry and sore. I've been chasing your ass all over St. Petersburg.

Yuri let silence fall as they waited for the car to take them back to Lilia's. Today still had so much left and tomorrow was another busy day.


	6. Striking a deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter a few days early just because of everything with the holidays.
> 
> I hope this answers some of the questions about Yuri's health and ability to skate :)

The week went by quickly as they followed the schedule that had been drawn out by Yuri. Every day, Victor went to the rink early and started working with the children. He had forgotten what that was like. In Japan, the youngest skaters had been taught by the staff at the Ice Castle. It wasn't until they were older that they were coming into the programs he and Yuuri had been running. Honestly, he hadn't seen a skater younger than ten his entire time there -- and that had been a very talented ten-year-old that was now competitive in the junior division.

He liked it. This return to how things had been when he was a child. No, not how they had been, maybe it was almost a better version. When he had been little, it had been the 90s and funding for the sports complex was difficult to get. The ice had been less good, the resurfacers had been older and often had problems. No, this was much better, The facility had been updated and everything was in such good shape.

In the back of his mind, Victor knew that this had mostly happened while he had been skating here. As he thought about it though, he realized how many of these improvements had near perfectly matched up with his greatest achievements. Gold at Nationals and they had gotten a new resurfacer. A gold at the Junior Grand Prix and the air conditioning had been repaired. A gold at Europeans and suddenly the parking lot was being repaved, Olympics and new windows. His second senior GP win and new seating had been installed. His brow furrowed as he thought. How much of this place was because of him? He'd never thought of it -- he'd always assumed it had been Yakov getting them funding, and maybe it was. However, Yakov had been here for years before Victor and all of those improvements hadn't happened until after -- No, Maybe it was just geopolitical.

Victor's mind was wandering. The last of the group of six and seven-year-olds had been picked up by their parents, which meant he was almost done with his first week of training here. He had a short lunch and then the ten and ups would arrive. They weren't good enough to be in the pre-juniors program yet, but they were progressing. 

Since he had left the house without notice on Sunday, this was the first time he would really be around Yuri for any true length of time. Most of this week, Yuri had been staying at his own apartment which was closer to the University. Never mind how much Yuri was still at the rink, his early morning obligations were to school so that made more sense.

Lilia had been avoiding him, even if Victor caught her casting worried glances at him from time to time when they were both in the house at the same time. Yakov would hopefully be released from the hospital early next week, but the woman still spent most of her days there in his hospital room.

Today was Friday though. There were no juniors after dinner at the rink tonight. No, he had to have the next group on the ice from 1 pm to 3 pm and then Yuri would finish up with them in the dance studio -- oh, and that was another thing that hadn't been here when he started training. While there had been a gym, of course, the dance studio had happened after his second gold medal at the Olympics. Victor was almost convinced it wasn't a coincidence.

He ate in the office, and then made his way down to the ice, his skates on as he let himself take a few slow laps around the ice. This would be his second time with this group of skaters -- he hoped they were over the hero worship he had had to deal with on Wednesday from them. He'd had enough of hero worship in his life. He knew what happened when that faded and people were left with the real him.

Two hours later and Victor was feeling good. He'd been running them through a single flip, and the group was getting it. It felt wonderful, just to be on the ice he had spent so much time on, teaching them one of his favorite jumps. At the end of class, he gave in to their requests and skated back out as they remained at the board, getting enough speed as he threw himself into his signature move of a quad flip -- and even retired from skating, he still loved that move. He didn't know if he could still do it in a program. In competition with a hard lead up and three and a half minutes of extreme exertions, it was probably too much. However, just skating out and doing the move by itself, it felt good to still be able to achieve the jump.

He was smiling as he skated back to the kids, their clapping and actual happiness at having seen that move in person -- and that was when he realized, they had been little when he had retired. While they had been alive, it was unlikely any of them had been seriously following figure skating at such a young age when he had been skating still. He was online videos and stories to these children.

Then, over the thank yous from the children, he heard one loud, slow set of clapping from a few meters away. "Good job, old man. Didn't know you still had it in you to be able to do that." The mocking tone was clear, the fondness under it was harder to hear, but Victor was positive it was there.

He watched as Yuri walked over to them. The man dressed in leggings and a tight long-sleeved shirt, but still with street shoes on. He clapped his hands at the kids, "OK, ballet time. Skates off, dance clothes on, I expect you all in the studio in ten minutes. Don't forget your hair. If you don't take the time to put it up, you know I will."

Yuri smiled as the kids ran off to get changed -- well, ran as fast as they could with skate guards on their feet. He looked over at Victor, walking up to the man, "How are they doing?"

"Good. Very good. Most of them are getting the single flip down. A little rough in places, but it seemed like a good thing to work on today."

"Yeah, Fridays are good to work on something more -- fun." Yuri rolled his shoulders, stretching out the muscles in his body. "I was going to go to Lilia's tonight. I have to be at the studio in the morning so was just going to stay over there." Honestly, Yuri didn't know why he was telling Victor where he was planning on spending the night. It wasn't as if it was Victor's house. It was Lilia's, and he knew he would always be welcome in that house no matter what.

"She had said something about having something special for dinner tonight."

"Perfect. I am sick to death of my own shitty cooking and I ran out of leftovers from her back on Wednesday." He laughed as he said it, even if Victor didn't know how bad his own cooking was.

Victor was puzzled for a second. Then he realized, it was that Yuri had laughed, actually laughed. It wasn't bitter. It wasn't scornful -- it was an honest laugh. He was trying to think of if he had ever heard that before.

"So that's why you're still living at Lilia's?" Could he possibly tease Yuri?

"Of course." Yuri cracked a smile, "All I can do is bake and can you imagine how Lilia would take me eating baked goods all day." Yuri turned to walk to the dance studio. Making sure that he yelled for the students to hurry up as well.

Victor was left there, smiling -- that had been almost … warm. Maybe Yakov had been right. Maybe he had been wrong for telling Yakov of his worries about Lilia and Yuri. Maybe giving them time was the right thing. He really should listen to Yakov more.

Still smiling, he looked around the rink, no -- he looked around his rink. This was his new rink. No, this was his old rink. This was his home. This place had never stopped being his home. Victor walked to the office, closing the door before he pulled out the paperwork he wanted to get finished before Monday. If he finished it now, he wouldn't need to worry about it over the weekend -- Of course, he had skaters tomorrow, but maybe that would leave him the rest of the weekend to relax.

He was done for the rest of the day, so eventually, he found himself yawning. It had been a long week and he didn't even realize he hadn't texted Yuuri all week. It was probably good for him -- for both of them. He let himself close his eyes for just a moment. This new life, he could get used to this. Maybe he should start apartment hunting soon. He wasn't going to leave Saint Petersburg again. Even if Yakov was able to fully come back -- no, Yakov was long past the age where the man had wanted to retire.

Just as Victor was preparing to go back to Lilia's, knowing that Yuri should have left here almost an hour ago, he heard music start to play over the speakers for the rink. Unlike the classical music which played whenever there were skaters, instead, this was something more -- modern.

With his bag over his shoulder and his coat in his arms, Victor walked to the door to the office, starting to make his way down the short hallway to the ice. Had he been thinking, he would have remembered that this was one of the time that Yuri had blocked off as his. What he didn't expect, in a mostly darkened rink, was to see Yuri skating. He hadn't actually seen the man on the ice since his arrival. He knew Yuri had been training students on the ice before he had arrived. He knew he still skated. What he hadn't expected was this.

As the young man's music changed, the slow circles warming up around the rink ended and Yuri skated to the center of the rink. In the dim lights, his pale skin nearly glowed. Just his hands and face were exposed, pale skin with his blond hair, loose and hanging down, longer than it had ever been when he had been competitively skating. He was wearing his dance clothes, but they were so close to skating clothes, it didn't make a difference. Thin black leggings and a long-sleeved mock turtleneck, also in black and it was so close to how he used to look on the ice.

Victor stopped, looking down at the rink as he didn't move. He knew what Yuri was waiting for. Once this song ended, the next would be his program and Victor felt immobilized, waiting to see what would happen.

When the song started, Victor didn't recognize it. There were no words, at least not playing -- from Yuri's moves on the ice Victor was willing to bet the actual song had lyrics -- stripping them from the performance version of the program was probably wise -- especially if Yuri's past music choices in modern music were any indication. This was very much not the traditional classical music that Yuri had so often skated to though.

He watched as that black-clad form moved into a long serpentine step sequence, Yuri's eyes near closed as he let his hips lead into every step and change, his body fluid on the ice. This wasn't ballet, but the dance background in every movement was screaming at him. As Victor walked close, carefully moving down the steps as his eyes never left Yuri's form he saw the speed up to the first jump, the triple axel beautiful as the young man went into a triple axel, double toe loop combination into a camel -- and that was when Victor felt himself gasp without even realizing it. That was what had seemed off on the approach. He hadn't been expecting it. He had thought he knew what he was going to see. Yuri had taken off on his right foot, landing on the left.

Victor found himself walking to the boards, his eyes locked on Yuri's form as the program continued. The spins were mirrored from what he had done years ago. No one in Russia skated was a left-footed skater. If you were, it was trained out of you as a young child. Russian skaters skated on the right foot. The training programs in Saint Petersburg and Moscow as well as all the other smaller rinks were too crowded, too many people for the individualization of something so non-standard. He watched Yuri spin, blindingly fast, just a blur of black cloths and blond hair in a perfect spin combination -- clockwise, not counter-clockwise.

As the second half started and the jumps increased in intensity, Victor found himself holding onto the wooden board around the rink, his eyes locked in the show of grace as Yuri threw himself into another combo, this time a triple flip, single loop, triple salchow. 

Victor stood there, stunned as the modern music continued. In the final step sequence, he watched as the way Yuri let his body flow. Maybe it reminded him a little of how his Yuuri, no not his any longer, had trained with Minako to 'move more like a woman' but this-this was similar yet different at the same time. While there had been a seduction to the eros program, this was … seductive, yet with an air of irreverence. Eros had been trying to be seductive, much as Christophe had used seduction for so many of his programs. This was a giant 'I don't care'. As Yuri finished, his final pose ending on a rough drum line from the music, Victor found himself stunned into silence.

Yuri's chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath, letting himself drop to his knees -- careful that the left one was the one that took his weight. The music continued into another song, this time harder and in Russian -- the tracks clearly planned as Yuri closed his eyes and listened to it as he stretched on the ice. 

Victor didn't think, instead, he started to clap. That had been something he had not expected. Yes, he remembered something about Yuri returning to competition. With how sore the young man had seemed, and how he was no longer young by figure skating standards, Victor had assumed it was all talk. Yakov had said it wasn't going to happen.

"Fuck you." Yuri barely moved, knowing exactly who was clapping and hating that he hadn't made sure that Victor was gone. The only movement he made was to raise up one hand to give Victor the middle finger.

"Yurio!"

"Not my name asshole!" The words were growled out, there was no amusement in Yuri's voice at the 'cute' nickname he had been given in Japan.

"Yura …" Victor didn't want to say the other name. No, he was going to go with the 'Yura' that he had been given permission to us. Calling the other man Yurouchka was something he could no longer do either -- no, Yuri was much too old for that now.

"What do you want, old man." With a sigh, Yuri rolled over to begin getting back onto his skates, standing and stretching his arms over his head as he went all the way onto his toe picks. 

The thin strip of flesh between Yuri's shirt and leggings could be seen for a fraction of a second and Victor was nearly certain that he saw something there.

"Your program, it's coming along well. When were you planning on skating?"

Yuri frowned as he looked at Victor, skating over towards him though -- only because that was the gate where he had left his skate guards. "August. Chaser event in a misguided attempt to get into the GP qualifiers." He sighed, moving to the bench to put on his guards. He was done for today. Even if he had planned to skate longer, he was tired and with Victor there, he had no desire to be skating.

"That is plenty of time to work on your program." Victor smiled, the heart-shaped smile back

"Fuck off." Yuri just shook his head, not caring how excited Victor looked.

"But…."

"No. I am not getting help from you. Yakov won't help me. Lilia won't help me. I am not desperate enough to go crawling to you for help."

Victor was left there, stunned, not knowing what to say at the hatred -- no the pain in those words.

"I'm sorry that I left …" it had to all be related to that. It had to be a remainder from when he had moved to Japan. How could no one understand, he had done that for love. Maybe it had been for love. Even if it was over, he knew he had loved Yuuri -- if he hadn't loved him, this wouldn't have hurt so much.

Yuri just sighed and shook his head, "No. You get Yakov to forgive you. Maybe you will get Lilia to forgive you. But me? No. I am not forgiving you. You didn't just leave here Victor. You broke your word. You … oh fuck, you don't give a shit what you did. I'm just a mediocre, ordinary piece of shit you left behind and forgot about as soon as …" Yuri paused, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, clearly trying to not let rage overtake him.

"Whoever would have called you ordinary?" Victor's brow furrowed in confusion. Yuri had never been ordinary or mediocre. No, even when he had first arrived in Saint Petersburg and was in the camp, he had stood out. The determination, the grace, the natural ability…

"You, you fucking asshole. Do you not ever remember any of the shit you do? Ordinary, Mediocre. Don't you even remember what you've done, what you've said?"

Victor pulled back, stunned by the intensity and the pain he heard. "I … I'm sorry, Yura." He was, he honestly was, but he knew he was not good at being around people. Yes, put him in a Presser and he would excel. An interview and he could charm. A line of people as he entered a hotel or a venue -- but one on one -- that was hard.

"Of course you're sorry. I don't even know if you're stupid or if you just realized if you played stupid most people would let you cruise through life." Yuri sighed, looking up at the ceiling of the rink, trying to focus on the Russian flag draped across the support trusses. He had to calm down. Screaming at Victor was not going to make anything better.

"I …" Victor didn't know what to say. He'd been told in detail how he didn't think, how he assumed and pushed when he shouldn't and didn't push when he should. It had been a frequent topic in therapy when he had been trying to save his marriage.

"I don't need anyone, Victor. I'll figure this out on my own." With that, Yuri turned to stalk off to head to his bag, storming off as best he could in skate guards -- and Yuri was one of the best at storming off in skate guards.

"Yuri! Why though, you don't have to! Why did Yakov say no?" He went chasing off to the man, stopping short when Yuri slumped onto a bench in the locker room.

Yuri sighed heavily, then without saying another word he unlaced his right skate, pulling it off and showing Victor the scar along his ankle. The Olympic ring tattoo at his ankle had been cut in half, an angry red scar now running through the yellow and green rings.

Victor looked at that ankle, seeing the size of the scar, a scar that Victor didn't know Yuri had. He hadn't known there had been surgery, but with what he had seen of the fall, both live and in replays, it really wasn't surprising.

"Is the bone healed?"

"Yeah. As good as can be. It's pinned and screwed." Yuri's eyes dropped, then he lifted up the leg of his pants to the knee, the thin knee brace that had been under the leggings was more telling.

Victor had been reaching forward, about to touch the scar on Yuri's ankle when he saw the knee brace. "How bad is…"

"I tore the ligaments up in the fall. It's fine -- by normal standards."

Victor nodded; that made sense. That made so much sense. If it was functional and Yuri just had to be careful with it. He could still dance. He could still coach people. He could still teach dance. He still had so much he could do. However, landing on a weakened knee and ankle time and again, that would be too much. "And that is why you changed your leg for skating."

"Yakov said it was impossible."

"And when did you start listening to Yakov.?"

That actually got Yuri to laugh. "True. As he says, I take after Lilia." Yuri tilted his head as he looked up at Victor, his hair falling to one side as he frowned. "Lilia just worries."

"She -- I am glad you have her, Yura. I did not know how close the two of you were to each other."

Yuri pulled his pant leg back down before removing the other skate. "I moved in with her after I returned from Japan. You knew that though." Yuri paused, looking at Victor and seeing how the man looked away. "When I came back after losing the at the Ice Palace? I moved in with Lilia when she became my choreographer?" Suddenly there was doubt, maybe Victor didn't know that. Had he really been that dense that he hadn't realized that?

"I didn't …" Victor paused, unsure if someone had told him that. Maybe he had known and had simply forgotten it.

"You didn't know. You didn't know that …" Yuri sighed. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for Japan." Yuri looked off again, pausing to give his feet a moment before putting his shoes on.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't ... I wasn't paying attention to other people. Trust me, people have told me how horrible that is." This time there was no false bravado to Victor's word. No, this was a hollowness. He knew that there were many things that he had to work on, flaws in his personality, things he did poorly.

"I wasn't broadcasting the fact I was living with my Choreographer and Coach -- except when I was complaining about it. I assumed that people around you talked, maybe they didn't.

"I liked living at Lilia's when I was younger." Victor sighed.

Yuri leaned back, looking over at Victor. "I hadn't known you had lived there."

"It was before you had come to the rink. I was already... twenty-three? Twenty-four? When you arrived for the first camp. I remembered you. You were the only kid who was glaring at me instead of looking at me with pure adoration when Yakov had me walk through to wave at everyone in the summer camp."

"You were interrupting practice. We only had two hours in the dance studio a day. To lose thirty minutes to you flouncing your way through the place was bad enough. When everyone kept asking you stupid questions and you were there for an hour, it was almost unbearable. It cost half the time I had that day to work on my form." Yuri didn't have any emotion to his voice as he explained what had made him upset when he had been a ten-year-old student in one of Yakov's camps.

"Why was it so … important?"

"Important? Look at you, your entire life is figure skating, but you ask me why it was important to me to take every opportunity I had to improve. I had to impress Yakov at that camp. I had to impress the other teachers at that camp." He tried to keep the frustration out of his voice, but he knew he was failing at that. It was always so easy for him to get frustrated. So easy for him to let rage and annoyance start to well up in him.

"But as long as you were fine, it isn't as if it were hard to get into Yakov's classes. You had more than a few short weeks to impress the man."

"No, Victor, skaters like you had more than a few weeks to impress him. It took every last resource my grandfather could find to give me the opportunity of that camp, and if I did not impress Yakov enough to be able to continue on a scholarship, that was it for me. I'd be back to practicing on outdoor rinks in the winter and trying to desperately get extra ice time inside."

"But …" Victor paused, looking at Yuri as he put the pieces together. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No, I know you didn't know because, Victor, you never cared. That was the problem with you-you didn't care. You didn't care about me, about Mila, about Georgi, or even about Yakov."

"I did -- I cared …"

Yuri just scoffed at that. "No, you did not. Had you cared, you would have never given me that program. You would have never done what you did in Japan. Do you know what that was like? I needed to try and find my Agape? Unconditional love, like a mother's love -- what kind of asshole says that to a boy who barely even remembered his mother?"

Victor's eyes went wide, the apology dying on his lips. There was nothing he could say to that. There was no argument he could make. There was no justification. What could he say? That he didn't know? Of course, he didn't know, because he hadn't cared enough to find out about Yuri's background.

Yuri shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. You can't fix things in the past. That's just how it happened. I found living at Lilia's wonderful and challenging at the same time."

"I would imagine all the practice --"

"No. The practice I expected. I offered her my body and soul to be able to win. It was … the other parts. Raising a boy… it was challenging for my grandfather. He had only ever had one child and he hadn't been that involved -- sign of the times and all. His wife had mostly… but he ended up with a small child once my mother was too sick to care for me. So I was left to do most things on my own. It was good in a way. It made the move to Saint Petersburg easier, but moving into Lilia's was … new."

Victor pressed his lips together, pausing to think if he should be honest. "I heard you call her mother." He did not use the cute diminutive that Yuri had used. The teasing, happy tone had been so surprising from the young man when he had overheard it that day.

"Yeah. She's … before I really knew what had happened, she had become a second mother to me. She had never been able to have children of her own."

"I didn't know."

Yuri rolled his eyes, but he was able to bite back the retort that that was probably because Victor had never asked. 

"Yeah. So I am going against both of their wishes and trying to return to competitive skating and …" Oh, he did not want to ask for help. Asking for help went against everything he believed in. It was foreign to every fiber of his being. "I don't know if I can do it alone -- and I don't have the luxury anymore of trying to convince Yakov to help me. I was near certain when he realized that I would do it with or without him that he would …"

"I'll help you."

Before Yuri thought of what he was doing, he exhaled in an almost snort. "Why would you help me?" While Yuri had learned to trust more in recent years -- trusting Victor was something that he wasn't ready for.

"Redemption, repentance, so many reasons, Yura. I didn't know, and even if I had known, I don't think I would have done anything differently." Victor sighed, looking off into the distance as he knew that so much of this depended on Yuri. The skaters that Yakov had at the moment -- they either required more than a season's worth of work, or they were at as good as they'd get. Maybe Victor could polish that a little, but nothing that would stand out. His first foray into coaching had been taking Yuuri Katsuki from having fallen apart and fallen off the radar to a world record free skate and a silver in the GP Final. None of the skaters here were that -- except Yuri.

"Why Victor. You only do things for yourself, you always have. What do you get out of helping me." Yuri sighed. He'd do this alone if he had to. Having a coach was not a requirement. It would be stupid to not use Victor though -- and Yuri was anything but stupid.

"If my first season without my ex-husband turns into some sort of lackluster, keeping the entire program from falling apart but not making any major achievements, they will assume it was Yuuri and not me that brought all the success to the program in Japan." It was the truth, not all of the truth though.

"So, you are using me and I am using you?" Yuri shrugged, acting as if that was something that would work.

"Are you OK with that? Because I can tell you right now, I am not OK with you just trying to get to the GP qualifier. You are Yuri Plisetsky."

Yuri smirked and shook his head, "Oh I know. I want to get to the final."

"You've gotten gold there before."

"I was able to do quads before."

"Lilia has kept your skills up?"

"Of course. You think I've been here in Russia doing nothing, you asshole?"

"Oh no, I think you've been in Russia defying everyone and sneaking every minute of time you can at the rink and in the studio and your form is probably better than it ever was."

Yuri looked at him, frowning slightly, but not disagreeing. It was true after all.

"Monday before the first class. No one will be here. I want to see your programs, both of them."

"I'm not calling you coach."

"That's fine. I don't give a shit if you call me asshole or old man. I want you to win. You always were better at being the bad boy than Lilia's angel on the ice."

"Fuck you, asshole. I did angelic better than anyone."

"You did." Victor smiled as he stood up. "I'll meet you at Lilia's, I need to pick up some things on my way there."

"Such as?"

"Some of those chocolates Yakov used to have. Did he give you those? I figure chocolate might sweeten your mood." The smile on the man's face was no longer the fake one now. There was something bitter about this smile, lacking in joy, but Yuri preferred it. It was much more honest.

"You mean the chocolates he gave you so you'd not talk because you weren't born with 2 brain cells in that head of yours? Let me assure you, I can eat and tell people to fuck off at the same time."

Shaking his head, Victor laughed. "Fine, I was just using you as an excuse anyway. I wanted them for myself and neither of you have anything sweet in that house."

"Yeah, you go eating junk food in front of Lilia and you see how well that goes. I might even consider attending your funeral."

"Really?" Victor didn't bother to hide any sarcasm or amusement.

"Yeah, so I can tell everyone how fucking stupid your death was." Yuri stood up though, smiling as he grabbed his bag. "I'm heading out. I need a shower so that bathroom is mine."

As the younger man walked off to head to the parking lot, Victor just found himself shaking his head. Yes. This was good. It was distracting. It was exactly what he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated :)
> 
> I answer questions in the AO3 comments, my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com))


	7. Caught on the ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter early for Victor's birthday :)

The weekend went fast, Yuri was only at Lilia's for Friday night, and the fact he evidently soaked in the bathtub for an hour went unmentioned by Lilia, so Victor assumed it was normal.

By the time Yuri showed up Sunday to take Lilia to church, Victor surprised them both. He walked downstairs when Yuri arrived. This time, instead of having just woken up, Victor had dressed appropriately for church, nice pants with a button up. He had even grabbed one of his very nice overcoats to complete the look. He knew better than to dress too warm, this would be two hours of standing.

Yuri looked at Victor as he approached them. "Don't tell me you are going to church with us?"

"If Victor wants to come, of course, he is welcome." Maybe Lilia's tone had warmed up a little bit, just a little bit. 

"Well, fine. It'll be good, right? I mean, I'll be right in church already. It should work better when I pray for the patience to not kill him." The annoyance in the young man's voice was clear.

"Yurochka!" Lilia frowned as she reprimanded him.

To no one's surprise, Yuri chose to ignore the warning, "Or, If I do kill him, there will be a priest right there that I can confess to. I bet I'd have to say the Lord's Prayer two maybe three times. I mean, it would be justified."

Shaking her head as she grabbed her coat, Lilia just sighed, clearly having given up on getting Yuri to behave.

"Really Yura? You don't think they'd give you an award instead for killing me?" Now he was just poking at the grumpy blond.

"No, you haven't been in Russia for much too long. The church will make me do some minor repentance. The government will be the one to give me an award. Maybe the Mayor, maybe someone from Moscow. I'm not sure. Entirely depends on how many people you pissed off, old man."

"Language, Yura!" This time the correction had much more force behind it as Lilia scolded.

"Yes yes, I'm sorry. No swearing on the way to church -- even if people don't know how to drive and cut me off. I know the rules, I'm sorry." Yuri actually did seem to have some level of regret that he had upset Lilia.

It didn't surprise Victor that once they reached Lilia's church, everyone knew and expected Yuri -- and everyone was stunned to see him.

Exactly as expected, church felt like it lasted forever. Also exactly as Victor had expected, he remembered everything to go through the motions even after his years in Japan. What he hadn't expected to see was the slight shifting from Yuri. It wasn't the type of shifting that indicated boredom, no, Victor knew the signs of pain. It was concerning, but he couldn't ask about it.

It was noon before they were driving back to Lilia's, or more accurately, Yuri was driving. Lilia in the front seat and Victor in the back.

"I need to head home, I am going to try to get most of my homework for the week done, which will only leave finals next week -- so …" That did not mean that he did not walk Lilia into the house. It also did not mean that he escaped without a Tupperware container or two -- or actually a bag of them -- in case he got hungry at his house.

Victor stood in the living room as he watched Lilia fuss and Yuri put up a feeble attempt to get her to stop. It did make him nostalgic for when he had attention like that. No, he'd never had attention like that. He had never been as close with Lilia as Yuri was, and Victor's own mother had been … more distanced. 

He excused himself to go work on paperwork up in his room. Seeing Lilia with Yuri had made him realize all the more what else he had lost along with his husband. For a brief few years, he had had a warm and caring mother. Well, mother-in-law, but there truly hadn't seemed to be much difference. At the time, he had assumed he'd be with Yuuri forever. He had assumed that he would also have his in-laws for a very very long time. That was just another thing that made this all hurt. 

Sitting down to work, Victor didn't even bother to check his phone. He knew there wouldn't be a message from Yuuri on it. There hadn't been one in days. He didn't expect to hear from him until they had a date set to make the divorce final.

When he went to bed that night and checked his phone, he'd be proven right. No messages. No messages from anyone.

* * *

Monday morning came way too early in Victor's opinion. He had agreed to meet Yuri at the rink at 6 AM though. What he hadn't expected to see was the younger man already on the ice warming up.

As he clutched his coffee from the nearby coffee shop, Victor walked to the board, watching as Yuri warmed up. "Yura! You're early."

"We only have an hour, idiot, on my normal morning days I'm here at five."

Yuri skated over to him, handing over his phone -- it was unlocked. The background image unsurprisingly one of his cat. Victor hadn't expected to learn anything interesting about Yuri from his background. The cat picture almost too expected.

"It's BH instrumental for the free skate. Then MFP for the short."

"Do I want to know?"

"No, not at all. Which do you want me to do first?"

"Free Skate. I've seen that one before so I already have a starting idea of where we are at. Not to mention your stamina will be better now than after we are done with the first program, so …"

"Yeah yeah, start the music when I'm in place." Yuri just turned, skating to the center of the ice. The knee wrap this time was a little more obvious, but it made sense that if they were going to be working hard for an hour that he would protect the joint even more.

Victor plugged the phone in, his eyes on Yuri though as he started the track for the free skate.

The music was beginning to grow on him. While it was clearly modern, without lyrics it was rough but timeless. It could have been a song from now or from years ago. The step sequence was even sharper this time, as if Yuri knew eyes were on him. Every move a little more seductive, and this program was seductive in its own way. No -- not seductive, it was sexy without being sexual -- Victor wasn't even sure if that made sense as he saw the first combo entered. Yuri's edges were perfect, clean and sharp. One arm was out and the other up, different from his perfect ballet posing from when Lilia was doing his choreography. It was raw, and fit the music perfectly -- and would be additional points. 

Skating made you have to be good at math. The bonuses from the entry and the exit along with the arm position would bring in a lot of points. If he kept them clean, even more. The heart of the program though was what captivated Victor. The way Yuri moved from one movement to another, the hips and the sheer lack of care the moves had -- all while being perfectly executed -- this was a program Victor liked. 

The movements were more feminine, but it was Yuri. The young man had always been more feminine, and Victor well knew how that could be an advantage. He remembered the first time he skated after his hair was cut, his program had been down five points. The only difference Victor had ever been able to pinpoint was that his hair had been cut. While that was good for Yuri's potential scoring this year, it had been a crisis in confidence for Victor when he had been changed his image in seniors. There had been that fear, and to a degree, it still existed, that some of his high scores as a junior had been because of the androgyny he had incorporated into his programs.

Regardless, Yuri was different. Victor wasn't sure how to describe it, but -- it was good. It was different. It was so very Yuri, and Yuri being so open seemed to let the artistry of the movements flow. Unapologetic about masculinity of femininity -- it was perfect for Yuri.

Only a few notes had been scribbled down, and Victor was glad that he had remembered to record this, because the program was near the end as Yuri flew into the last combination, the difficult triple combo that he had put near the end, but it worked so well with the music when it was placed there. It was always a risk putting the last combo as your final jump element. If you flubbed it, you couldn't make a single jump a combo, you would be stuck without.

Then, Yuri was once again in his final pose, his chest heaving from the exertion, but everything about that had been beautiful. Victor knew how hard this would be without quads. Maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to add them. He needed to be with Yuri for an appointment with a doctor though. He needed to find out exactly what he was working with.

"Yura! Good! That was beautiful!"

Even as Victor was all smiles while Yuri skated to the side, Yuri seemed less pleased. "The score still isn't high enough."

"It's already more than high enough for you to get a spot in the GP Series. Depending on who you skated against, that program done cleanly would get you into the medals."

"Medals aren't enough to guarantee a way to the final, and you know that." Yuri sighed as he gripped the boards, reaching over to grab a water bottle and a towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

"True, but it's a start. It's a good start Yura. Remember that. Now, short program."

Throwing the water bottle back into his bag, Yuri skated out to the center of the rink again. This time the music was very much classical. It was harsh and in a minor chord, and strangely, Victor didn't recognize it -- but he was certain of the composer. This was Prokofiev, Victor would bet on it. It was perfect for Yuri though as he went through a hectic short program. While it didn't have any quads, every jump was for maximum points with the difficult entries and exits and Yuri's hand position didn't need any correction. This was back to both hands up, perfect ballet form throughout so many elements of the program. Yes, this would score so very well -- perhaps it had the potential that agape had had.

Victor knew where he could tweak this one -- and of course the lack of quads held it back, but in the short, it was less of an issue. 

As Yuri finished, Victor clapped, "Beautiful. Yura that is perfect, I am sure Lilia and Yakov would even approve of that."

"Yakov always wants me to do Tchaikovsky and Lilia would rather I did Rachmaninov."

"It was Prokofiev, right?"

"Yeah, it was his --"

Just as Yuri was about to answer, Victor's phone began to ring this early in the morning. When the ringtone was a sappy love song, Yuri just watched, one eyebrow up as he saw Victor's eyes widen.

Yuri crossed his arms over his chest as Victor answered the phone in Japanese, and it as more than brutally clear who he was talking to.

As Victor's entire demeanor fell, Yuri sighed. Yes, this was not a good phone call. Victor was just agreeing to whatever Katsuki was saying.

When Victor finally hung up the phone, Yuri's demeanor had softened, "You, Okay?"

"Yeah. I need to be in Japan for Thursday morning. So I need to fly out of here Wednesday."

"It'll be good to make it final. To end the uncertainty. You can get through this." There was no irony and no harshness in Yuri's tone now. There was sincerity that Victor hadn't been expecting.

"Thank you…" He was too surprised by the rare show of kindness from Yuri.

"Why don't you go to the office, get yourself together. I'm going to loosen up on the ice then I'll take the class until you feel a little less … you know."

"Thank you."

"I can stay until eight. But I need to run out by then -- if not earlier -- if I want to make it to campus, find parking, and still make it to my first class."

"I'll make sure of it." Victor tried to smile, but even a fake smile was a little much at the moment. Instead, he turned, heading to the office so he could at least have a little privacy to buy his ticket to Japan. This time, he needed to book a hotel as well. He wasn't going to ask about staying in the house. He'd just have movers pack up the last of his things and ship them to Saint Petersburg. That house was Yuuri's and Victor was not going to set foot in it,

* * *

The days went too quickly. Wednesday came with good news and bad news. The decision that Yakov could go home tonight was made. A nurse had been arranged, but Lilia would be taking care of the man. He was able to walk … with a walker, but was getting stronger every day. The bad news was that Victor was leaving for a few days to finalize his affairs in Japan. 

Victor would be leaving on a late flight, He didn't want to spend any more time in Japan than he had to. It did mean that all it took was canceling the juniors that evening for everyone to be able to be where they needed to be.

It was so much earlier than Yuri was normally done for the day, but he was driving Yakov's fancy car with Lilia in the passenger seat to the hospital. "It'll be good to have him home." Yuri glanced to Lilia, a little concern in his words.

"It will. He's getting stronger. He has enough strength now that he can walk slightly." Lilia smiled though as she looked over at Yuri. "He should be proud of you, Yurochka, all you've been doing. How you've been helping."

He sighed, shaking his head, "Should be. Won't be. He'll only be thinking of his precious Vitya."

"Yura, you know that isn't true." 

"Do I? I do everything for him, but -- I know I will forever be the second place." Yuri sighed. It had always been like that. Even when he had won gold at the Grand Prix Final his first year in seniors -- Yakov's mind had been on the possibility of Victor coming back.

"Yura. Today is not…"

"I'm sorry. I know. I just -- I'm tired." 

"I know, my Yurochka. I know." She leaned over to kiss the young man's cheek as he parked the car. "Victor was there for Yakov when I wasn't. You can't compare yourself to him." Another kiss and she was getting out of the car. Regardless of anything else, they had to get this taken care of and get it taken care of now.

Yuri hurried, running after the woman. She could cover so much distance with her long legs and the heels. He was used to it by now. He modified his stride, taking his place just to her left side, the place he always was -- except when Yakov was with her.

Two hours later and Yuri wished he were anywhere but here. Yakov and Lilia had been arguing for the past fifteen minutes about what was the best way to drive from the hospital to the house. Yuri's only input had been to explain he was following the GPS because it had real-time traffic information. That had been ignored and Yuri had remembered that this was what they did. This was what they did when they were happy. They argued.

"Yes, Victor had to fly to Japan. He'll be back Saturday." Yuri at least could answer the questions when they came between the arguing.

"He hadn't told me." Yakov was looking out the window.

Evidently, now that they were near the house, the argument about which way to go was no longer relevant. "He will tell you about it when he gets back."

"So you do know what he went back there for?" Yakov frowned, the frown still so lopsided from the stroke.

"Yes. I know. It's not for me to tell." Yuri parked the car, getting out to open Lilia's door then to grab the walker so he could help Yakov stand up and then lead the man to the front door as Lilia held it open.

Yakov was tired, exhausted really, but luckily the main bedroom was on the first floor. Yuri helped him over to it, and as Lilia held back the blankets, he helped Yakov to lie down. It wasn't that late, but Yuri already felt exhausted.

"Lilenka? Please, let me speak to Yurochka alone." Yakov held his gaze with Lilia's until she nodded her agreement, leaving the room so they could speak in private.

Yakov took hold of Yuri's hand, gripping it in the hand he still had control over. "Thank you."

Yuri didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected that.

Seeing the confusion on the young man's face, Yakov sighed. He had thought they were past this. Some wounds ran deeper than others though, and Yakov knew how hurt the man in front of him had been. "Thank you, for everything you have done. I know why you weren't at the hospital as much. You were doing so much. I do not tell you enough. Your classes and what you do with Lilia at the studio -- and then what you do for me. It is a lot. I know it is a lot. I ask so much of you, we all do, and you keep giving and giving, and it is so easy to forget how hard that is on you."

"I -- I would do anything --"

Yakov cut him off, "I know. You would do anything we ask, and that is why we have to be so careful of what we ask of you, my boy. I know me being here is going to make that even harder."

"No! Don't talk like that. We want you home. Lilia has arranged a nurse during the day when we are busy, and --"

Yakov cut him off again. "And we know that taking care of me will not only be a daytime thing." 

"Victor will be here."

"Yes, Victor will be here. I know that." The man's tone softened, a sadness drifting into it. "But you will bear the brunt of what Lilia needs, and Yurochka, that is what I need from you -- above all else, be there for Lilia. She won't turn to anyone else. You are the only one who has any sort of a chance of being able to be there for her.

"I would do anything for her." Yuri took a deep breath, squeezing Yakov's hand. They knew where they stood. If it ever came a choice between her and him, Yuri would pick Lilia every time.

"You are the son she never had. Never forget that. She loves you." With that said, Yakov sighed, letting himself relax in the bed, feeling the familiar mattress and pillows. This was home.

Yuri nodded. He knew Yakov didn't mean to hurt him by saying he was Lilia's son. He probably meant it as a comfort. Yuri knew how Lilia felt though. He knew she loved him. He knew how she smiled at him and the lightness in her eyes when she saw him.

Yakov's eyes closed, the man exhausted from the effort exerted in leaving the hospital, sitting for the drive and then getting situated. Yuri was tired as well, but he stood up, tucking Yakov in under the blanket so he'd be comfortable.

Once he was certain the man had fallen asleep, Yuri left the room, walking upstairs to throw himself onto his bed. Nothing had changed from when he was fifteen in so many ways. He still wanted to prove himself to Yakov -- but he'd never be better than Victor. He'd never be better than the man who might as well be Yakov's son.

* * *

While Yuri and Lilia had gone to the hospital to get Yakov and bring him home. Victor was standing at the gate waiting for his plane to start boarding.

Victor knew he didn't want to leave. He stood there, listening to the intercom and sighing, There had not been a direct flight, he had a layover in Moscow, and he'd be in the air all night -- He'd be at the courthouse for their noon appointment. He had sent his flight information to Yuuri. The response had not even been a thank you, it had simply been an 'OK'.

As his flight was called, Victor sighed, moving towards the boarding door. He didn't want to leave home, and in such a short time, he had realized that this was his home. This place had always been his home. These people had always been his family. He wished that he could be home to help with Yakov for his first night home from the hospital. The irony of how his first time leaving Saint Petersburg for Yuuri was when he had left Yakov at the airport and all he could think of was his destination, but this time, it wasn't Yuuri on his mind, it was Yakov and how he couldn't wait to be on a plane back to the man. The regret for the years he had missed being with the one man that had been a better father than his own father had ever been -- but without being gone, he might not have appreciated what he had now. Regardless, the boarding process continued and by dawn, he'd be in Japan catching a train to where he needed to be. He didn't want to, but it had to end. No, that was wrong. It had ended long ago. This was just the final acknowledgment of the death of his marriage. It had been long dead before this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love hearing comments or messages on twitter or tumblr
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com))
> 
> This is more than likely the last update before I am on vacation for Christmas on January 7th. I might get one more chapter in before the plane but I can't edit chapters using my phone for wifi and I am going where there is no wifi.
> 
> I can do twitter and tumblr replies on my phone though :)
> 
> So if this is the last update until I get back from Christmas, Merry Christmas :)


	8. Things unsaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, extra chapter!
> 
> I wanted to officially give everyone a happy new years present so both my WIPs have updated today :)

Saturday night, Yuri was once again at the airport. He felt more and more like a taxi service every day. Things at the house were settling in. However, it was clear that Lilia would have to cut back at the studio -- which meant that Yuri would have to pick up the slack for now. Plans were made to bring another person on once the next lesson season started and they could find someone, but for now, it was Yuri. He couldn't say no to Lilia. Even under normal circumstances, Yuri was unable to say no to her. When she actually and truly needed him, he was helpless to say no.

Perhaps that explained how tired Yuri looked once Victor reached baggage claim. The fact that his plane had been delayed by several hours and it was now approaching midnight did not help the young man's appearance -- or the fact that Yuri was holding his second cup of coffee.

For his part, Victor didn't look much better. He hadn't even bothered to put on real pants. Instead, he was wearing a designer pair of slim fit joggers with a stylish coat covering up the T-shirt. He had spent so much time on a plane, enough that he felt the lack of fashion was more than justified. As he saw Yuri though, eyes barely open, Victor sighed. He had known his being gone would be rough on him. Without Victor being there to take some of the strain, the man knew it would all fall on to Yuri's shoulders.

"Fuck, you look like shit." 

Victor just laughed, Yuri was never one to mince words. "Feel it too."

"Come on. We'll get drinks. It'll make it feel a little better. Lilia is skipping church tomorrow so I don't have anywhere I need to be."

"School?"

"All my final papers are done, all I have left are two final exams, Tuesday and Thursday. I'm taking the summer session off." He had originally planned on not doing that, but with Yakov's condition and everything, it seems the wiser move.

"So you'll only be working two jobs basically instead of three?"

Yuri laughed at that, even with how tired it was, it felt honest. "Yeah, something like that. Lilia can't work as much as she had thought. Taking care of Yakov is a bigger commitment than I think either of us had planned on."

"I can help--"

"Victor? Seriously. She is his wife. This one falls mostly on her. She's the one in bed with him all night, so she'd be woken up by him no matter what."

"True."

"You, however, have had a shit time. I have had a shit time. Neither of us has to do shit tomorrow so -- come on. I don't want to get drunk by myself."

"Are you asking me to go out drinking with you?"

"Fuck no. Do I look like I'm made of money?" Yuri was leading the way out of the airport, once again going to the closer, more expensive parking lot.

Victor paused to look at Yuri, confused, but he quickly hurried after him.

"Fucker. I have bottles. I'm not going someplace and paying some crazy price -- besides, you probably order stupid ass expensive vodka."

"If we just wanted Vodka, there's all those bottles in the office still." Victor was smiling now, some of the stress of the trip leaving him as he kept up with Yuri, walking through the dark parking lot.

"Nah, I already drank the stuff I like from Yakov's stash -- and I don't think he even knew he had all of that. I cleaned that office from top to bottom before you arrived and you wouldn't believe how much shit was in it."

"Really? Yura? I have never seen that office clean until I got back here. It was a mess in the 90s so I would only wonder what decade the bottom layer of clutter was from." Victor was smiling now, joking. The office had always been messy though.

"I found a newspaper from 1982 in the closet."

"I was … joking?" Victor hadn't thought anything that old still was in the office.

"It had Lilia on the front page. I'm sure he was saving it."

"What did you do with it?"

"It's almost her birthday. What do you think I did with it? I dropped it off to get framed so that when he forgets her birthday again I can remind him that her present is in his office." Yuri put his hands behind his head, smirking as he walked to the car, actually quite proud of himself.

"Hah. That is perfect. If only all of his skaters were so thoughtful."

"I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for Lilia. She deserves a perfect birthday, especially after all of this. Besides, Yakov won't care what I do." The sour tone was impossible to miss.

"What do you mean, of course, he will. He adores you and you do so many things to help him?" Victor was confused -- more so at the bitterness now.

"I don't want to talk about it." Yuri sighed, looking up at the pitch black sky before he opened the doors to the car. Soon it wouldn't be getting dark at night at all. Right now, the nights were so short, but soon the sun would never truly go and the white nights would start.

Throwing his carry on into the back seat of the car, Victor decided this wasn't the time to argue.

"Besides, it's late. I'm just driving to my place. You can cab over to the house once everyone is up, I'm planning to sleep all day."

Victor raised an eyebrow at Yuri, "And why are you seeming like your week sucked more than mine?"

Yuri just shrugged, shaking his head. "It didn't. I'm sure it didn't. I'm tired, Victor. You have to understand that. When you're just so tired that nothing makes sense. When you're so tired it's like -- it's like it's a physical thing? Like … I mean ...I don't know, I'm not making sense. I'm just…" He sat down heavily in the driver's seat, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Do you want me to drive?" Victor started to walk over to where Yuri was. Maybe it was time to start changing. Yakov had always said he didn't think of anyone but himself. Yuuri had accused him of that as well. He was going to make a conscious decision to stop doing that.

Yuri paused as if thinking before just shoving the key into the ignition and crawling over the center console of the car to get into the passenger seat.

"You know, pushing yourself like that is how you end up doing crazy things like running off to Japan and getting married." Victor tried to get Yuri to laugh, using his own stupidity as an example.

He hated that that made him laugh, but Yuri shook his head at that. "No. I do stupid shit for entirely other reasons. You, Mila, Georgi… you're the ones who did shit to get some ass." He was smiling though as he said it.

"Oh like you never made the news with some love interest?" Victor smirked as he started up the car.

"Nothing exciting."

"Otabek Altin biting the gloves off your hands after he had kidnapped you on his motorcycle?"

"He's a friend. You know that -- or you should know that." Yuri shrugged. "We'd have never been good together. He's too serious and I'm Yuri fucking Plisetsky."

"That's true. You bring a whole new level to serious sometimes."

Yuri rolled his head as he didn't start giving directions to Victor's driving yet. There was only one way out of the airport and back to town after all. "Yeah, serious grumpy Russian bitch, that's me."

"Russian fairy, the embodiment of Lilia's teaching on ice, Yakov's young legacy. Many names Yuri. Don't only remember the bad one."

This time the laughter was more hollow, "Oh but _Vitya_ that one is the accurate one. Well, until you got to Yakov's heartbreak and Russia's disappointment."

"Is that why you want to do a comeback?"

"No -- head towards the Sportsplex. My apartment is only a little west of it." He sighed though as he looked out the window, "I love skating. I really do. I'm not ready to retire yet. I love dance, but … skating, the sound of blades on ice, the feel of the air, the scent of cold -- I don't know how to describe it."

"I understand that." Victor smiled, "Although I have to admit, I think you have long surpassed me at dance."

"Lilia says you were very graceful and you know your artistry and step sequences on the ice --"

"No, that's not the same. Yura, you know that. Your programs this season, those aren't just step sequences, that is full dance choreography. It's -- transcended skating and is some chimera of skating and dance, so much more than what I did."

"You're full of it old man." Yuri just scoffed, watching the city pass as they drove through the city. As they got closer to the Sportsplex, that's when Yuri started to give directions. Finally, they pulled into a parking lot behind a building. It was older and brick, and very clear that it hadn't been residential for that long. 

Yuri got out of the car once they were parked and led the way to a side entrance -- Victor didn't like this at all. Yuri pulled out his keys to unlock both of the locks that were on the door -- and they evidently had different keys. "Come on."

Victor followed Yuri, his carry on grabbed from the car and securely in his hands as he walked through the doorway to be led down a half flight of stairs. Evidently, the apartment was partially below ground. The air had a certain chill to it, but soon a door off the hallway was opened and Yuri gestured.

The apartment was entirely different than anything Victor had imagined the young man having. The walls were mostly brick and the entire first room was wide open -- actually, it appeared the entire place was wide opened. If he was guessing right, the only door was the one for the bathroom along the side wall. The half windows ran along two of the walls, the security bars clearly able to be seen -- but the most striking aspect of Yuri's apartment was how much it looked like a dance studio. 

Victor slowly turned around, the entire place so strange. There were mirrors on most of the walls, only one was continuous mirror though. There was a small kitchen, and one corner held a bed shoved into the corner, piles of dirty laundry heaped upon it.

The hardwood floor only covered about half the floor. The other half was an actual dance floor.

"Shoes." Yuri was already kicking his own shoes off and hanging up his coat. "You can have the bed, the couch pulls out. I can sleep anywhere."

Before Victor could say anything, Yuri was walking to the fridge, the jeans and long sleeve sweater he wore now showing. Although the apartment was not as cold as Victor had expected, it had such different feel than Lilia's. Maybe this was a more grown-up version of the room Yuri still had there. The one wall that wasn't brick was painted in the same red as the bedroom had been. The posters were not of skaters or rock bands -- instead, they were ballet posters --and as Victor looked more closely, they were all old. They also all starred Lilia Baranovskaya. This wasn't a tribute to either dance or skating, but a piece of Lilia's life that Yuri held close.

Victor hadn't expected it, but before he could really say anything, Yuri was there with a bottle of vodka and two glasses -- shot glasses were a thing for tourists and people who didn't intend to get drunk, these were propper drinking glasses. "Come on." He set the glasses down on the coffee table in front of the couch, pouring a generous amount in each before he plopped onto the couch, leaning on one armrest, "Drink with your student." Yuri scoffed at that. Even if Victor coached him, it would be so far from being a student. He was Yakov's student. He was Lilia's student. Victor -- Victor was just Victor.

Sitting carefully on the other side of the couch, Victor picked up his glass, toasting to freedom even as Yuri laughed at that. "How bad was it?" Yuri's question to Victor was tenative.

"Not drunk enough yet for that. How bad is Yakov?"

Another scoff and Yuri downed his entire glass. "Lilia won't let him drink, how well do you think it's going?" He reached over to pour again, topping off Victor and filling his own.

"So that's why we're here drinking instead of there?"

"Do I look stupid? I'm not going to let Lilia know I got drunk. He's shifting back and forth from pissed he's not healed to thankful he's alive and he's either snapping at her or telling her she's the best thing in the world. It's stressful."

"Tell me about it. I was there when they got divorced you know."

"Don't envy that." Yuri let his head tilt.

"Yeah, at least my divorce was less messy." Victor took a bigger sip, the familiar burn and feel of the vodka soothing in a way that he knew would lead to pain, but he didn't care. This is how he had gotten through so many days in Japan.

"Yeah well, you didn't have any kids." There was a near tease to Yuri's voice as he teased.

"Yakov and Lilia --"

"They had you, idiot." Downing the second drink and knowing he was going way too fast, Yuri leaned forward to grab the bottle again. "Don't insult everyone by acting like they didn't treat you like their child."

Victor sighed and nodded. "They did."

"The first born tends to favor the father you know. The youngest is always the mother's." Yuri smirked at that, knowing with absolute certainty that's how they fit into the Lilia and Yakov dynamic. Victor was Yakov's and Yuri was Lilia's.

"She adores you."

"I know."

"You know?" Victor hadn't expected that. He'd expected some sort of denial of the love and affection.

"Of course I do. I'm not stupid. Look at this place, look at me -- if I hadn't fallen in love with the ice, I'd be Lilia's perfect dancer." He shrugged. "I'm not though, but … she loves me anyways. Just because I didn't get that as a child doesn't mean I don't recognize love like that." He smiled. "Besides, it's the first thing I ever did better than you."

"You broke my short program record." Victor was looking intently at Yuri now, sipping his vodka, but not missing the flush across the boy's pale cheeks. 

While Victor's hair was as pale as winter, it was almost easy to forget that Yuri's skin was paler. The young man did manage to pull off angelic and other worldly so well.

"No, your choreography broke your short program record."

"Bull shit. You know that isn't true. You and Lilia made that program your own. Yes, it was my choreography and yes, it was a winning program, I told you it would be. You broke my record with it."

"I skated a lie. I skated a farce. I just did it better." Looking off to the wall, Yuri sighed, deeply this time, a pained sound. "It's not as if I'll ever do that again. I can't do that again. My body won't do it no matter what. So that will always be my top short program, forever to your choreography."

"Defeat? I didn't know Yuri Plisetsky ever gave up." Perhaps the tone was moving into the cruel now -- Victor knew he shouldn't drink. It was too easy to be an angry drunk.

"Fuck you old man. I know my mistakes and someday my choreography will beat yours -- I just need to find a skater as good as I was."

"Really? Sure your programs are good, but how much do you actually know about choreography?"

"Fuck you, _Vitka_." This time the insulting version of his name clearly had barbs meant to stick. "Every fucking program anyone skated last year from Saint Petersburg was me. I did all of Yakov's choreography. Most of the choreography at the Lilia's studio -- that's me too. Skating program, dance routine, I can make them both."

Victor's eyes widened as Yuri snapped at him. Oh god, he had missed that soo much. Yuuri didn't fight like that. Yuuri cried and Yuuri appealed to his senses. Yuuri tried to use logic and empathy, and yes, Victor knew those were good things. This though, this was pure defiance, and Victor loved it.

Yuri stood up, looking down at Victor as he shook his head. "You think I can't do it, watch me." He wasn't going to take the insults to his abilities lying down, and perhaps, he should not be doing this while tipsy. He positively stalked to where his dance bag was, shoving his feet into ballet slippers, black of course. Then he grabbed the remote for the stereo and hit a few buttons. It was the program that he had designed for next year for one of Yakov's juniors who was making her senior debut.

It didn't matter that it was on the dance floor instead of the ice or that he was just marking the jumps. The program was beautiful, set to Rachmaninov, and even with the marked jumps and the fact there was no gliding over the dance floor like there would be over the ice -- Victor knew how it would look on that ice. He saw it, and it was stunning. The femininity of the program clear, and the dance influence, but there was something more.

Victor walked towards the dance floor, the vodka in his hand as he watched Yuri, seeing how hard the man was working -- even if it was not on the ice. "It's beautiful. You do beautiful choreography."

Yuri turned as he tried to catch his breath. Then he stalked over to Victor, grabbing the glass from the man's hand and downing the contents in one fast motion. "Why are you being nice?"

For a moment, the suspicion hurt. Then Victor looked into those blue green eyes -- really looked. They were still the same eyes as Yuri had had when he was fifteen, when he was fourteen, when he was thirteen, even when Victor had first met him -- that desire to get approval and recognition. "I'm not being nice, Yura. You know I'm an asshole, you've told me a million times. I'm saying the truth."

Yuri's head shifted, looking at Victor from the side now as he walked back to the sound system. This time he put on a different song, but Victor immediately recognized it. This was the exhibition that Mila had used the year she had retired. It was universally acknowledged as the raciest program the woman had ever done -- and Mila had been known for some racy exhibitions.

Victor was just watching, knowing what was coming next. He had seen Mila do this program three times in her final year. Then he realized -- this wasn't exactly the program. The elements that didn't work on the floor because they could only be done on the ice had been replaced -- it was better. He hadn't known Yuri had done the choreography, he should have known. He should have known how the woman's program's had gotten better, strong but still feminine -- something he knew Yakov was not good at. He had done some great programs for him back when he had been married to Lilia, and yes, he had assumed the programs were from Yakov and Lilia working together. He should have known it was choreographed by Yuri.

Victor couldn't pull his eyes away. Yuri was stunning and beautiful and graceful -- and if he was honest with himself, the program performed by a man was much more captivating than when a woman had been doing it.

When Yuri finished he was in the same ending pose that Mila had used. His legs kneeling, but his back arched until his head touched the floor behind him and for the first time since arriving in Saint Petersburg, Victor caught a good glimpse of Yuri's skin. The exposed hips and stomach had stark black ink on them. Instead of pictures through -- words. The ones that Victor could read, each seemed worse than the next.

Insult after insult was etched on that skin, so many languages. Bitch, slut, punk, idiot, … and worse. The Russian ones were the worst, or maybe only because those were the ones in their native language they stood out the most.

"Yuri?" Victor was walking forward, reaching for the cyrillic slur on the man's hip. "Why?"

Yuri was too out of breath to answer, but even tipsy, he realized his hiding this was over. He didn't have to swealter in the sweater so he pulled it off, revealing the rest of the words on his torso as he let himself collapse onto the cool wood.

So many words, Victor's eyes wandered over that pale flesh, seeing how it was permanently marked with such cruelty. "Why?"

"To remember." Yuri rolled onto his stomach, and across a shoulder, there was one word that seemed out of place.

"Mediocre... How could I have called you that?" Of all the insults that Yuri had memorialized on his flesh, that one hurt the most when Victor saw it. That was his fault. No one else was to blame for that but him.

This time the laughter was hollow and full of pain. "You are a fucking asshole, idiot. That one is all yours and only yours, and every moment the needle hurt, all I thought of was how I hated you." Yuri glared up at him from where he lay on the floor, watching as Victor's eyes widened and he took a step back, as if Yuri's words were a threat in and of themselves.

Yuri didn't stop there, he moved to his knees, positively looking predatory now, pure danger as opposed to the seduction of moments ago. "You got off on cutting down a fifteen year old boy who looked up to you, who wanted your approval? Who had traveled to a foreign country by himself because of your broken promise?"

"Yura … I -- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Yura, I didn't mean to -- no, no … I didn't realize. I didn't know…" Victor took another step back as Yuri kept on walking towards him.

"You were cruel, Victor. For all you scolded me for my manners? You, you were so much worse." The words were only a whisper as Yuri stopped mere inches from Victor, looking up at him, and even now, Victor was still so much taller than he was.

"I'm sorry, Yura. You aren't mediocre.." He sighed softly noticing a word on the man's shoulder and he let his fingers ghost over it. Two words that he had seen were different than the others. Mediocre and this one -- ordinary. "This one is mine as well …"

No, Victor still didn't fully remember saying it, but he knew it had to be him. No one else would have been so cruel as to say that. The other words were full of jealousy and hate -- the ones from him were pure dismissiveness. Proof that he truly hadn't seen Yuri as worth his time back then. Yes, he knew that the boy had potential and that those were in the moment -- but no. Even in that moment, Yuri had never been ordinary or mediocre.

"You don't even remember saying it do you?" It was almost not a question. Yes, Yuri wanted Victor to remember. He had never been able to forget.

"That day, with both of you on the ice … " Victor let his eyes fall. Then he reached out, letting his fingers run along Yuri's jaw as he angled Yuri's face up, looking down at the shorter man. "I was selfish and cruel. I didn't want you there. I didn't want a reminder of Russia. I didn't want so many things, but I … at the same time did."

Yuri's eyes narrowed, pure rage, "I hated you and felt so guilty for that hate for so long -- do you know how confusing that was? How hard that was? How …"

Victor couldn't think of what to say as the music continued as Yuri looked up at him, those eyes so full of anger, but of something else. Victor kept looking down at him, finally finding the ability to speak, "Why was it confusing? You had every right to hate me."

This time Yuri's eyes flicked away for a second, as if not able to look up at Victor any more. "Because … I looked up to you for so many years."

It was a lie and Victor knew it was a lie. He didn't know if he should let Yuri stay with that lie. "Did you?"

Yuri scoffed, turning to walk towards the half window -- barely tall enough to look out of it. It wasn't as if there was anything to see out there -- just a dark parking lot.

"Did you look up to me? Because I don't think you did." He sighed as he walked up closer to Yuri. "I think you always saw me as a target, as someone to get better than, to surpass. You always watched me. Maybe I am stupid, maybe …"

Yuri laughed, a cold hollow sound as he looked out at the bleak parking lot. "No … you … you just don't remember anything you don't want to." He turned to look at Victor, "I'll just blame this on the vodka in the morning. You'll just forget this like every other thing you've done to me."

"Forget?"

Victor took a step back as Yuri moved closer, grabbing his shirt and pulling him down, pressing lips together for a moment, awkward and with too much force, tasting of vodka -- and then Yuri pulled away, as if realizing what he had just done,

"Yura…" He didn't know what to do or say.

Yuri just shrugged, turning to walk away, "Guess Yakov trains more than one idiot."

"Yura!" Victor didn't think. Instead, he reached for Yuri, grabbing him by the bare shoulder and twisting him so they faced each other. He didn't know what to say, frozen now that his hand was on the other man and he saw the shock in those beautiful blue-green eyes. 

Yuri almost yelled, almost lashed out, but then he froze, the words still on his lips as he looked at Victor in shock. His lips slightly parted but the look in Victor's ice blue eyes -- that expression and the turbulence in it. He remained still, unable to move in uncertainty.

Then Victor pulled him closer, lips smashed to his as suddenly the press of lips was changed to something deeper. Yuri knew he'd drank too much, the room was spinning and his knees felt weak, but the heat of those lips and how he felt Victor's arms around him made the world spin faster. It was everything he had fantasized about as a tormented teenager. No, that was a lie -- it was more, and those thoughts hadn't ended in his teens. Had those thoughts ended -- he wouldn't be here with him.

As Yuri felt himself be pulled in tighter, the fight left him, not that he had truly fought at all. No, his arms wrapped around Victor's neck, as his normal explosive temper faded and melted into a pliant form pressed against Victor's chest.

He felt Victor's fingers in his hair, those strong hands holding his head in place as they kissed and it was perfect. The warm press of the man's shirt against his bare chest, the strong fingers in his hair, the ever present hint of Victor's cologne. Yuri would never admit he knew exactly what brand it was, or that he had once bought a bottle.

He was left reeling as suddenly the warmth was replaced with cold as Victor stepped away. As Yuri remembered to breathe and open his eyes, he looked up at Victor, focusing on the man's ice blue eyes. Then he saw it -- shock. Maybe it was regret. Yuri wasn't sure. He did know that Victor's hands were on his shoulders and it was clear the man thought that kiss had been a mistake.

Yuri saw the look, and he saw Victor's mouth start to open. Whatever the man had to say, Yuri knew he didn't want to hear whatever excuses or apologies that the illustrious Victor Nikiforov was going to give him. Instead, he just huffed, turning fast enough that the room spun again, "Whatever!" Leave them before they could leave you. It was more than a way of life for Yuri, it was his religion.

The look on Victor's face changed to pure confusion. How that had happened from Yuri near throwing himself at him to now seeing the man walk away -- it was confusing. "Yura?"

"I said whatever." He just waved a hand in the air, as if dismissing everything that had happened as he walked back to the bottle of vodka, pouring more of it into a cup so he could drink.

"I heard what you said." Victor's brow furrowed together as he quickly walked back to where Yuri was, stopping as he saw him start to push clothes off of the bed.

"My apartment, I get the bed." There was a glare though as he said it, not voicing that had Victor not acted like that -- things could be very different right now. "Tell me about Japan." Yuri leaned against the headboard, stretching out as if wearing his leggings was exactly how he planned to sleep tonight.

"What?"

"I said tell me about Japan. There are people there I'd actually like to know about. Yuuko, Hirako, the kids?" He shrugged as he finished another glass of vodka, the bottle emptier than Victor thought it should be so quickly.

"I thought you and Yuuko talked?" Now he was watching Yuri carefully. That entire year when he had been first training Yuuri, he knew Yuuko and Yuri had texted. She always knew some random detail about life in Saint Petersburg. When Potya had ended up at the vet unexpectedly, when Yuri got a moped, when Yuri had had a date -- she had never told him anything about skating, but if it was Yakov burning dinner because he had tried to cook -- yes, Yuuko had told him all about it from what Yuri had told her.

"I .. lost touch after the accident." He shrugged at that.

"And Minako?"

"She never … talked to me much." He frowned as he said it, before adding, "Seriously, old man. I think I'm a little young for her attention."

"Ahh …" Yes, Yuri was … young. Victor needed to remember, he was twelve years older than Yuri. Even if at twenty-one Yuri was more than an adult, he was still so much younger. Hell, he was a student at the University and Victor was what was feeling more and more like a very rough thirty-three.

"Yuuko is doing good. The ice castle is busier than ever, there's more interest in skating going on in the area, and more and more people go there -- not to mention …" Victor faltered a little, but he had to get used to talking about this. "Yuuri's skating program is based out of there and takes up a lot of time and subsidizes the income of the place."

Victor tilted his head He really hadn't expected that Yuri hadn't still been in contact with the woman. "The kids are all skating, probably will be in juniors in another year or two, they've been training under Yuuri and …" Oh, this one hurt to say. "Minami."

Yuri sat up in the bed, looking across at where Victor had sat on the couch. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Yuuri is dating."

"Dating Minami? That annoying fucking idiot that needs to be shot with a tranq gun? That peacock of kissing the ice Katsuki skates on? That Minami?"

Victor almost found himself smiling, but the tears were threatening to slip from his eyes if he did. All he could do was nod and be thankful that Yuri was saying all the things he had wanted to but hadn't been able to.

"Seriously. You only moved out here a few weeks ago, how fast does the piggie move. No … no … if they're dating and _you_ know they're dating, they've been dating in secret for much longer." The suspicion in Yuri's voice was clear and Victor was so thankful for it. Maybe it was petty of him, but he didn't care. What he needed right now was someone to be outraged with him, not someone acting like he should be happy for his ex.

Victor felt his lips actually move into a smile. "Well, you did try to kiss me."

"Number one, I'm drunk. Number two, you are legal. Entirely legal, as in paperwork is signed no longer married."

"I don't think the I am drunk excuse works when you came up with a rather intricate way of getting me to your apartment all alone." Victor was watching Yuri's reaction now carefully.

"Oh, like I couldn't just corner you in the office, or corner you after the students go home, or walk across the fucking hallway to your room any time I wanted to?"

"Not and have the backup excuse that you're drunk." Victor knew he was pushing this, but he had to. Yuri was -- perplexing right now, and Victor always loved things that were capable of surprising him. Of all the skaters he had ever seen skate, Yuri was able to surprise him almost as much as his husband had.

"Oh, as if I couldn't have been drunk in the office or … okay, not at Lilia's, but I could have been drunk in the office. Not like I've never slept on that couch." Yuri leaned forward, reaching over to grab the bottle and refill both of their cups.

"Oh, I think almost everyone has slept on that couch." Victor felt the corner of his lips rise. Somehow, he was feeling a little less horrible.

"That couch is a slut." Yuri started to giggle at that, almost spilling his alcohol at how funny he found insulting the couch.

"Really?" One eyebrow raised, Victor leaned forward to watch the younger man. 

"Uh huh, and like way too many people have had sex on that couch. We need to take it out back and burn it."

Victor wasn't certain if Yuri was joking -- about either of those statements. Then again, if the first was true, perhaps the second made sense.

"Who do you know of?" 

"Ummm, Me… And … oh, Mila … and Georgi like at least three times, and …"

As Yuri continued to list off people that had sex on the couch, Victor found himself enjoying this. Maybe drunk Yuri was more fun than sober Yuri -- by a lot.

"And who did you have sex with?"

Still giggling, Yuri tried to set down his vodka and if his glass wasn't half empty, it would have definitely spilled. "Uhh, this really cute dancer you don't know. He was here to help like one year with the ballet work. He was French. Like … French."

Victor wasn't sure what that last bit meant, but he couldn't help smiling at Yuri trying to be serious while clearly being drunk. "Uh huh, so just the once?"

"Oh no, and …" His voice dropped to a whisper, "This really hot hockey player, like -- muscles for days."

"So is that what you like? Strong hockey players?" Now Victor was enjoying teasing even more.

"I like warm, and kissing and … stuff …" The sentence ended in another giggle as Yuri tried to grab his glass to take another drink but ended up spilling part of it down his chin.

"You are drunk." Maybe in the morning, Victor would feel bad for having kissed him, but that was all that happened. 

"Well, I'm not getting sex so I might as well get drunk, right?" Yuri flopped back on his bed, it was so late and it was so so very clear he wasn't going anywhere.

"Where are extra blankets?" Victor was trying to decide if figuring out how to pull out the couch was worth it or if napping until morning on the couch was just the better idea.

Sighing, Yuri moved over in the bed, "Come on. I won't do anything to you. Promise."

Downing the last of the vodka in his own glass, Victor nodded. It wasn't as if anything was going to happen. He'd shared a bed with plenty of skaters in his life -- not necessarily ones that he had spent any time kissing, but that was a one-time thing. Yuri had been drunk, that didn't mean anything.

"Only because everyone says you're a super quiet sleeper." Victor moved to sit on the bed, pushing down the covers so he could slide into what would be his half of the bed.

"Really?" Yuri rolled onto his side, eyes only half open.

"Mmm hmm. Everyone knows who is best to room with when the hotel makes a mistake on our reservations -- how many times has Yakov been shorted rooms?"

"True. I always got stuck sharing." Well, that was true until he had won gold at the Grand Prix.

"That's because you evidently don't make noise once you're asleep."

"Mmm, see I'm awesome." 

Victor chuckled, watching Yuri lose his battle with keeping his eyes open. Once he was certain that Yuri was asleep, Victor reached for the lamp to turn it off. Hopefully, his head wouldn't feel too bad once he woke up. He wasn't as young as he used to be and hangovers had become more and more common, but at least he hadn't drunk as much as Yuri.

As Victor was falling asleep, listening to the soft music still playing which drowned away the street traffic. It was such a strange apartment. Shortly after Yuri fell asleep though, the only warning that he'd ever heard about sharing a bed with Yuri happened. In his sleep, he moved closer and Victor just sighed, pulling Yuri into him to let the other man curl into his side. Yuri had a reputation for being snuggly in his sleep, so anyone in bed ended up getting snuggled up against. Even Victor had enough of a sense of self-preservation to never tell Yuri that's how he had gotten the nickname of 'kitten'. 

Tonight had been so different than what Victor had expected, but at least it had helped to get his mind off of the situation he had left in Japan. It wasn't his problem anymore. It wasn't his life anymore. Yes, of course, Yuuri's parents insisted he could still contact them and he would always be family, but Victor knew that wasn't true. Of course, the first few birthdays would be remembered, a card or two at the holidays, but all of his ties to Japan had all revolved around Yuuri, and it was over. Not only was it legally over, but when he had seen Yuuri and Minami whispering and then saw how they held hands and stayed close to each other, it had been the final nail in that coffin. He was happy in a way. He never wanted Yuuri to be miserable, and Yuuri alone was miserable, Victor knew it. If Minami could make him happy, then eventually, Victor would even be able to say he supported that. Right now, it was still much too raw.

With a final sigh, Victor closed his eyes to fall asleep. His home was Saint Petersburg, and in so many ways it always had been. He was exhausted. It was so late. He had drunk so much. He didn't even remember closing his eyes, falling into a deep sleep with an arm holding Yuri close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be away from internet and sanity for a bit this month, so the next update will probably be the 14th of January or so. Earlier if I can.


	9. the morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from vacation :)

By the time Victor woke up, the sun was streaming in through the windows. His head hurt and the presence that had been wrapped to his side was gone. He had no idea when that had happened.

As Victor rolled over, he saw the other side of the bed was empty. Sitting up, he saw a bottle of pain meds and a glass of water next to the side of the bed. It wasn't as if there were truly any place where Yuri could hide in the apartment, and once Victor was sitting up, he saw him sitting in the kitchen, typing on a laptop as he squinted at the screen. 

"Hey …" Victor grabbed his phone, thankful that this didn't seem like it would be awkward. Maybe Yuri didn't even remember last night. It wasn't as if anything more than kissing had happened.

"There isn't anything to eat. The fridge evidently broke. There wasn't much in there luckily."

"Oh -- we can grab something on the way to Lilia's?" Victor's eyes widened at the time. It was already noon. He never slept in that late. That was also when he noticed his phone had more notification than it had had since team Katsuki-Nikiforov had coached its way to a gold at the world championship two mon. This would either be incredibly good or incredibly bad.

"Do you know why everyone is trying to get a hold of me?" Victor paused looking at anything else on his phone until he could take two of the pills and down the glass of water. His head was throbbing.

"Yep. You might feel a little differently about breakfast once you read it." Yuri leaned closer to his laptop, nodding at something on the screen and then typing some more. It was clear that Yuri should be wearing his glasses for this.

Victor sighed, taking a deep breath and then laying back down on the bed. If he was going to read something horrible, he might as well be comfortable, and Yuri's bed was amazingly comfortable.

It only took Victor a few moments to find out what had happened. Saturday night Yuuri and Minami had been caught kissing by paparazzi and Sunday morning in Japan the pictures had made the rounds and hit the press. The first wave of messages for Victor were his friends, strangers, and acquaintances alerting him and telling him how bad they felt. With the time zones, that would have been shortly after Victor had fallen asleep.

Sunday morning in Saint Petersburg, Sunday afternoon in Japan, Yuuri Katsuki had put out the information that he and Victor had been separated for a little over a year but had been coaching together and continuing business as normal while their divorce was finalized. That was how the news broke that the great Katsuki-Nikiforov union of figure skating was dissolved.

About that time, the messages turned from startled to transition to purely apologetic. A few messages from the press wanting to get Victor's side of the story. Mostly messages from friends reaching out to him. Victor just sighed.

"Do you think I still need to make a statement?" Victor stayed on the bed, honestly, he didn't want to get out of bed now that this had happened.

"You do. I'd suggest a shower first." Yuri slipped off his stool and walked over to bring something to VIctor. A small bottle of orange juice was handed over. "You need to drink something with some calories in it first." He sat down on the side of the bed, looking at Victor and sighing, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault but -- thank you." Victor was watching him, and Yuri looked tired again. Last night, drunk Yuri had been so much more energetic. Now, seeing the tired version of Yuri it was even more of a contrast. It was worrisome.

"Just worried about you. You … look, everyone knows you loved him." Yuri sure as hell knew that Victor loved Yuuri, and he wasn't sure if that was really in the past tense no matter how much 'moving on' the man had done.

As Victor lay on the bed, he returned texts to the people he was closest to, telling them that he had wanted to respect Yuuri's privacy about the divorce. Then he sighed at the conversation with Christophe on his screen. "What should I tell Chris?"

"Depends, did that man whore invite you to have a threesome with his husband?"

Victor just laughed, "No, no nothing like that. Well, not yet…" Maybe Christophe would. That would be interesting but -- no. "I'd tell him no I think. I don't like being … the +1."

Yuri just laughed, "You are too self-centered to not be the center of attention in a threesome?"

"What? Are you some sort of expert?" The tone was challenging and teasing at the same time.

"No. I, unlike you, have always been much too busy for stupid stuff like that."

"Not even at the Olympics?" Victor stood up, running his fingers through his hair as he started to walk to the bathroom. That shower was sounding better and better.

"No, not at the Olympics. Not on the off-season. Not ever."

Shaking his head Victor grabbed the doorknob to the bathroom, stopping only when he heard Yuri suddenly sound worried.

"Victor!"

"Yes?" Turning, he looked over to where Yuri was now holding a pen in his hand, his fingers fidgeting as if he didn't want to ask this.

"I drank a lot last night -- I didn't do anything … stupid?"

Honestly, Victor was surprised that Yuri had woken up earlier than he had and didn't appear hungover at all.

"Anything stupid? No. Did you kiss me? Yes. Did anything else happen? No, I kissed you, that was the end of it. We both went to bed."

"I .." Yuri dropped his eyes, he had hoped that his recollections of kissing victor had been dreams and not reality.

"It is fine Yuri. You had been drinking too much. Don't worry about it." With a near-perfect mimic of his trademarked smile, Victor looked across the room at Yuri, ignoring how that smile did nothing to reassure the other man. No, as Victor walked into the bathroom to figure out the ancient shower, he knew this was more complicated than he had thought. Actual feelings were involved and honestly, Victor wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Now was not a time he was ready to act on anything. He'd act as if it had been no big deal. That would be best. Yuri would probably find that the easiest as well. It wouldn't be a distraction. Whatever crush the young man had, they didn't need to do the dating song and dance only to have things fall apart a short time later. Alcohol, stress, proximity -- residual feelings from when he was young, all of those could have been the cause. He put it out of his mind. Yuri was fine. Yuri would be fine. Yuri was strong. He'd just act as if nothing had ever happened.

In the other room, Yuri found himself wanting to punch or kick something -- he knew better now though. A younger him would have kicked those brick walls. He now knew all that happened when he did that was that he hurt himself.

He'd made a fool of himself. Clearly, Victor had no feelings, as if he had ever thought Victor would have feelings. That wasn't something Victor did -- at least not about him. With a sigh, Yuri emailed what he had been working on to Victor's work email. He'd crafted a near perfect press release -- knowing Victor would want to take the high road. It wasn't as if Yakov did any of his own press releases. This was yet another job he had been managing while doing everything else. Resting his head in his hands, all Yuri could do was repeat that after next week, at least he'd be done with school until the fall. That would make this a little easier. No, it wouldn't be easy. He had to do better. He had to get excellent grades, he had to do everything at the dance studio that needed to be done while Lilia was busy. He needed to finish the choreography for the skaters and he needed to perfect his program. If he officially was going to have Victor Nikiforov as his coach, the world was going to expect even more. No, there was no rest in his future. Last night had been an abnormality, a thing he wouldn't be able to allow himself for a long time. He had too much to do to spend a night enjoying himself.

Once Victor got out of the shower, it would need to be back to business as usual. His stupid delusions and feelings had to be shoved away again. He had too much that needed to be done.

* * *

By the time Victor had finished his shower, Yuri had changed, dressed into jeans and a few layers of shirts -- the bottom one being a long-sleeved T-shirt, all the words on his body once again covered from sight. The bigger regret from the night was that he now knew that Victor had seen them. The kiss was fine. What was Victor going to do, if he told anyone 'Oh Yuri got drunk and kissed me' no one would be surprised. Everyone in the skating community knew how his preferences tended and it wouldn't be the first stupid thing he had ever done while drunk -- or sober for that matter.

While the rest of that Sunday was spent with Yuri in his bed at Lilia's -- and she damn well knew he wasn't 'ill'. The woman knew Yuri had drank too much, but she let him have a day in bed -- it wasn't as if he didn't desperately need one. Even before Yakov's stroke, he'd been working himself to exhaustion.

Late that afternoon, after Victor had had time to read the press release Yuri had sent him, Victor officially posted it.

> I want to start by saying thank you to all the people that have supported me over the years. My coaches, especially Yakov Feltsman, the skaters I have had the honor of training, and those I have had the privilege to skate against. I wish to thank the FFKK and the ISO for their past support and continued support. I especially want to thank the Saint Petersburg Skating Organization. 
> 
> As many of you know, I have recently returned my beloved city of Saint Petersburg. While the circumstances of this move were not how I ever anticipated this return, in a way, it has been a blessing. To be able to support my beloved coach as he recovers from the stroke mentioned in last week's official release has been a comfort to all of us. His wife, Lilia Baranovskaya, has been more than an instructor, but also a mother figure in my life. To be here, to support the recovery and maintain the skating program of the man that I have seen as a father figure for decades is a true blessing. I wish to thank both of them for opening their home and their hearts to me.
> 
> As recent news has made clear, my return to Russia was not only fueled by my skating family here needing me. My marriage to Yuuri Katsuki has officially ended. The divorce was legally finalized during my recent trip to Japan. While the details are private, this was not a last minute decision or one undertaken lightly. In truth, our relationship had fallen apart years ago and I carry much of the blame. A relationship is difficult. A relationship as international athletes is even harder. A relationship where you try to balance all of that with the skating program we ran in Hetsetsu proved too much. 
> 
> I want to make it clear, I do not blame Yuuri, and I wish him only the best and happiness in his life. 
> 
> Any comments about his relationships will not come from me. His life is his life and I am not going to comment. I ask for people to respect my privacy in this time of change as I return to life in Saint Petersburg. I look forward to the start of the junior skating season with my skaters as I represent Russia and Saint Petersburg once again. Of course, the return to coaching the senior circuit will also be exciting and I have great hopes that I can continue the high standards of Yakov's program as he recovers.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> Victor Nikiforov

Honestly, Victor had been both impressed and relieved that that had been in his email in both Russian and English. Any other languages and people could translate it themselves. Yuri had done an amazing job -- and this was yet another thing showing how Victor had to be very cognizant of the fact that yes, he was intruding. Had he never come back, Yuri would be running things before too long -- but they needed someone now. A brief smile passed over his face as he realized he was spending more time worrying about Yuri than about his ended marriage.

* * *

The rest of the week was full of work and time spent with Yakov and Lilia. It was so easy to fall into a habit of just staying here. He knew he would need his own place. One of the criteria of his apartment search was that he needed it to be not only close to the Sportsplex but also close to Lilia's house. 

While Yakov was doing better getting around with the walker, a cane was still too much for him. Yuri was spending most days at the house, and most nights too if Victor were honest. In a way it was comforting. Watching the news in the evening, he would sit in one of the armchairs while Yakov sat in the other. Lilia would be impeccably balanced on the edge of the couch cushion with Yuri sitting on the floor in front of her and between cups of tea, she'd brush and braid his hair before bed.

Of course, Victor knew Yuri was more than capable of that by himself. He also was well aware that both Lilia and Yuri loved that tradition of having her do it. It was good.

In a way, Victor had expected Yuri to say something to him about what had happened that night, but he didn't -- he let it move into the past to the point it would be just awkward to bring it up. 

It wasn't as if they had a lot of time -- either of them. Even without Yuri having classes, there was still work at the dance studio and work at the ice rink. It was too much, and Victor knew it. He could see it every night when it was finally time for Yuri to skate and he started exhausted and ended practice even worse. This wasn't the way to get him to a GP qualifier, let alone the finals.

Three weeks after his divorce had been finalized, Victor had his chance. Yuri was doing something with Mila and wouldn't be back until late enough that he was going to stay at his own place. When they sat down to watch the news, instead of making himself comfortable in his chair, Victor looked over to Lilia, "I had a question about the dance studio?"

"Yes, Vitya?" She looked at him, the intensity in those green eyes always something that he had found a little unsettling.

"I'm just concerned about Yura. He is working so hard, but to get ready for skating--"

"He's what?" Yakov's eyes widened as he almost was able to sit up

"What do you mean, skating?" Lilia's expression was a little more calculating than Yakov's

"His programs for this year?" There was hesitance as Victor said it, suddenly realizing that perhaps Yuri hadn't been as honest with him as he had thought.

"Oh no. He is not allowed." With a sharp shake of his head, Yakov stated that as if it were a fact.

"I assume you told him that?" Victor sighed as he heard that tone in Yakov's voice. Victor knew that tone. That was the sound of someone who was not going to listen to anything. The decision had been made and Yakov was set on that.

"Of course I told him. He knows he is lucky to be as well as he is. Victor, did he tell you how bad his fall was?" Yakov narrowed his eyes, the gruff look the one that Victor knew was the hardest to change. This was the look of protective Yakov. Protective Yakov was a very very stubborn man. That was the man who would rather have his skaters lose than injure themselves by doing quads to early. That was the Yakov who would force people to sit out the length of time a doctor said. Victor was well acquainted with that version of Yakov.

Victor shrugged, "I see. Well, he knows every skating rink in the entire city. He knows everyone who runs them. I don't think it would be possible to actually make him stop."

Victor saw Lilia's lips curl into the ghost of a smile. She didn't say anything to counter Yakov, but it was enough to indicate to Victor that he was taking the right path.

"So I guess, we either let him continue to work on it in our rink where we know the ice quality and the medical personnel and are the ones there -- or we risk … I mean, Yuri does have a reputation for being a little reckless." Victor kept his tone as matter of fact as possible.

Yakov frowned. "He shouldn't be pushing himself like that. He … needs to be careful."

"So he either pushes himself like that without someone watching him or he does it _with_ someone watching him."

Shaking his head, Yakov agreed, even though everything about his body language said he didn't want to. "He's going to … yes. Fine. I will not give it my blessing but…"

Lilia stood, picking up her teacup from the coffee table, "I will rearrange the schedule so he is only responsible for the dance instruction at the rink. I believe that will help with your issue, Vitya?"

"Thank you very much, and yes." Smiling, Victor knew he had gotten what he needed to have happened.

"I still don't like this." Yakov would grumble for a little while, Victor knew that.

"I know. I know. He's -- determined though. It's important to him. The programs are beautiful." Victor smiled as he looked over at Yakov.

"If he hadn't been injured, you know he would have surpassed you."

"I know -- and there are so many people I would have never passed if they hadn't been injured. I was lucky -- and I had a wonderful coach." Victor leaned back in his chair, getting comfortable.

"When he's ready, I would like to see them?"

"Of course. I am sure he'd actually like you to see. They're different than his old stuff, smoother, more graceful. His years with Lilia really show through, but they're more mature as well. No matter how hurt a fifteen-year-old boy is, he can't convince an audience like a twenty-one-year-old man -- and Yuri is very convincing now."

Yakov just nodded. He had to accept the things he couldn't change, and so much about both Yuri and Victor were things he could never change -- no matter how in some cases he had tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are loved.
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both always open for questions and comments
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com))


	10. We should call Chris!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to an early and long update :)

Later that week, Yuri was finally seeming a little less stressed. He was working one of the younger classes through the ever dreaded 'parent observation week'. This was the last week of the session, the one where the people actually paying the bills got to see what their children had learned.

Victor was watching from the boards, having smiled at everyone, said his pleasantries, and shaken the hands of every parent there. He was dressed nicely, a suit and a trench coat, looking the part of an international coach. He didn't tell them that most of what their children had learned had come from the young man on the ice.

Yuri for his part was in his normal skating clothes, covered from head to foot in leggings and a long sleeved mock turtleneck. As every child in the class, one by one, did the small exercise made out of the pieces they'd all learned, a short step sequence and then a single loop and a single toe loop, parents clapped and looked pleased. He started with the children who had had the most difficulty, skating it with them so he could verbally lead them as well as be right there for them to shadow.

When Yuri got to the last three skaters though, it changed. The first boy did the exercise but then at the end added a single flip. The second skater, a girl, did the same as the boy right before her.

When the last girl was ready, Yuri nodded to her and once again he was there near her as he skated with her -- but Victor noticed this was very different, this was Yuri taking the place of a partner in a pair's skate. Side by side choreography and then the in sync jumps, but the final move she was thrown in a beautifully balanced throw flip.

She landed her edge wonderfully and skated out of the jump with a huge smile, and Victor hadn't been expecting that at all. He found himself clapping, "Wonderful!" Yes, the jumps probably could have had a rotation added, but Victor was much happier at this age seeing them work on the edges and the details of the single jumps. Rotations could be added later, getting the form right now was important.

All the parents seemed pleased. Victor had already handed out the forms listing what classes would best fit each child over the summer and in the fall if they chose to continue. He'd relied heavily on Yakov and Yuri for those recommendations. Even without Yakov being at the rink, he was more than capable now of giving his opinion from his chair in the house.

It was the last of these classes before th juniors came in closer to dinner. They had three hours before then. With Yuri still well rested and on the ice, Victor looked over, "Do you want to run your programs now?"

"Sure."

"What were you thinking of for costumes?"

"Whatever, I don't know -- I was never good at that. I can probably just reuse something from someone."

"I want to try something." Victor took off the overcoat and the suit jacket, starting to take off his button up.

"You could buy me dinner first, old man?" Yuri crossed his arm, knowing full well that Victor wasn't really stripping for him.

"Yura…" The joke wasn't as funny though with what had happened when he had returned from Japan. "If I were trying to seduce you, you'd know it."

Once Victor got the white button up off, he handed it over, "Put this on, roll up the sleeves, you know -- make it look like you borrowed your boyfriend's shirt."

"You mean instead of my coach making me wear his?" Yuri closed his eyes as he slipped into the shirt, trying to ignore how Victor's cologne clung to the fabric and how that made a little piece of him shiver.

"Just do it, try to look sexy without being obvious about it. We need to walk a line with your program. If we just went with a shirt like that, skating dress pants in black, and …" Actually, Victor hadn't realized how exactly good that would look. It looked very good. The sleeves were rolled and the cuffs used to keep them right around Yuri's elbows. The tails of the shirt were haphazard, partly tucked and partly not. The shirt was clearly a few sizes too big and on Yuri it looked -- amazingly indecent. It was exactly what VIctor was going for.

"Like this? Because I'm not trying to slut up my programs."

"Exactly like that. And I know. You're not trying to be sexy, you just are when you skate like that. You know that though. A put together looking costume would be wrong for your free skate. It's too wrong for that. Something more like your exhibition -- not only would we need to cover up half your tattoos, it would look like you were trying."

"What are you trying to say, old man."

"Just go and skate your program, I'm going to record it so you can see it."

"Whatever." Yuri went to get his music set up. Once the track was ready, playing the one before it on the playlist, Yuri skated towards the center of the rink. He was going over the minor tweaks he'd been making to the skate in his head, so intent that he didn't see the way Victor was watching him.

Victor couldn't draw his eyes away. The confidence on the ice that Yuri radiated had grown every year, and now -- now it was past confidence to some sort of defiance. There was none of the nervous energy he was used to. There was no hyperactivity. Yuuri had always been nervous on the ice until the music started. Minami had always been hyper -- he wondered briefly how those two were getting along -- then he remembered, yeah. They were fine without him. They were better than fine without him. He had never seen that coming -- no, he wasn't surprised by Minami. The younger man had always worshipped Yuuri.

He had no room to say anything. Minami was twenty-three now. Two years older than Yuri, but even as well as Minami was doing at skating, he didn't have the natural talent of Yuri. Maybe that was just bitterness talking. Victor knew it was true though. Yes, Minami had won gold at Worlds, but the competition had been reduced by injury. Minami had never fully executed the programs, not like Yuuri had been able to, and not like Yuri had found a path to either.

Victor took a deep breath, he heard the warm up song ending and needed to focus. Starting the recording with Yuri in his starting position, Victor put everyone in Japan out of his mind for now. His eyes only on the black and white clad form on the ice. Oh, this was almost perfect. Yes, some things would need to be tweaked, but this would be a good look. Then the music started and Victor focused on the image on the screen -- if he focused on Yuri, he'd forget about recording.

The rawness of the program never left. Sharp transitions, perfectly timed to the music with no leeway to be early or late. No, these were pinpoints that matched the music perfectly. The step sequence left no room for error and it was a thing of beauty. The spins slower, but the range of motion in them and the sharp transitions upping the difficulty. Victor knew fast would happen later. These were pure artistry, and Victor loved them. How Yuri moved through the serpentine steps, hips leading without being forced or obvious, but with a confident languid movement. This was a Yuri who wasn't trying to seduce anyone. It wasn't toned down at all though. This was Yuri being pure unapologetic naturally seductive without putting an ounce of effort into it, and it worked so perfectly.

As the jumpes started, the timing to the music was perfect, the form beautiful as always from Yuri and Victor's world condensed to that image on his screen as he watched, making sure to capture every move.

The final spin and this time the speed was dizzying, but it never lost control. Everything about this program was purely controlled without effort. This was Yuri screaming to the universe that he was back. He wasn't the Yuri that had fallen, he wasn't the Russian Fairy or the Russian Punk anymore. No, maybe Yuri was what he claimed to be now. Just him. He was Yuri Plisetsky, and that was what this program was. Unapologetically Yuri Plisetsky.

When Yuri hit the final pose, Victor stopped the video. "Beautiful!" Victor was smiling as Yuri skated to him, grabbing the bottle of water that VIctor offered. "I want to show Yakov and LIlia this weekend."

"That would be a bad idea." Yuri barely paused drinking water to advise against it.

"Why? Because you didn't tell them that you were planning on returning to competition this fall?"

Yuri paused, turning to look at Victor as he tried to figure out what the man knew and what he didn't. "You already knew that though."

"I did."

They're pissed?"

"Yakov was not pleased. I need to take you to the doctor though. As your coach, I want to know what we are working with."

"He's going to say I shouldn't skate." The water bottle was thrown back into Yuri's bag.

"Yeah, well. If we have to, we'll find another doctor then. As I told Yakov. You are going to skate regardless of our approval. What we need to do is make everything as safe as possible for your return. That means this rink. This ice. Not working you to exhaustion."

"That explains Lilia suddenly finding someone to take those classes."

"It does. I hadn't realized that you hadn't told them."

"No, it's fine. They were going to find out eventually. I mean …"

"When you said you were practicing after everyone except the maintenance staff left, I should have known." Victor smiled as he looked at Yuri, then, in a move he hadn't planned and was actually stunned by himself, he asked, "Did you want to go to dinner?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said I should take you to dinner first."

There was suspicion in Yuri's expression as he looked at Victor. "I meant ... since you were…" Then he paused, letting his lips curl into a smirk. "No, you know what. Yeah. Sure."

"We don't have to be back here for two hours."

"I suppose you want your shirt back."

Victor tilted his head at that pausing to decide. Shaking his head, he turned down the offer, "No -- I think you should keep it. It's part of your costume now."

"If we're going to eat, I need to grab a quick shower. I assume you have some standards -- well, even if not, I do, and I am not being seen in public like this." Yuri smirked as he stepped off the ice, taking a hold of his skate guards to slip them on. He had some emergency clothes in his lockers -- and if he had taken over three of the lockers in the locker room, tough shit on anyone else.

Without turning to watch Victor's reaction to his statement, he walked to the locker room. Victor hadn't said it was a date -- in fact, many things about this indicated it was not a date. Yuri decided he didn't give a shit about any of those things and he was going to treat it like a date. Fuck Victor and if he wanted this to be something or not. If the man was going to flirt and look at him like that, the man had to deal with the consequences of those actions.

A shower, and throwing his hair into still damp braids, Yuri put on a black T-shirt from a local band with Victor's shirt over it. Instead of the leggings, he managed to find a pair of jeans that were reasonably clean. He really needed to remember one of these days to haul his clothes in the locker room over to Lilia's and wash them.

He needed to ignore that though, instead, as quickly as possible he grabbed the lip gloss that made his lips look perfect. He didn't give a shit that it burned like a bitch. That's what made it work as a plumper. With his pale skin, it made his lips stand out and he knew Victor was very easily distracted. He didn't put on any other makeup -- there was plausible deniability in the gloss. It could seem he just had slightly chapped lips.

Walking out of the locker room, he left his skate things there -- they'd be back in a few hours for the Junior's training. They were still on normal hours. At that level, there were no more parent observation times. Every minute was spent doing real work.

Victor was waiting for him, checking his phone as he sat on the bench. He looked up as Yuri walked in, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't been sure what Yuri would look like when he walked out, and he had to admit, he was impressed. No, Yuri wasn't dressed up, but it wasn't as if they were going anywhere he had to be. "So am I driving?"

"And paying." Yuri popped his hip as he watched Victor, showing nothing but confidence.

"This isn't a date." If it was a date, Victor was sure he would have something better planned.

"Doesn't change that you're driving and paying. Now take me to dinner."

"What do you want to eat?"

Yuri smirked even more at that, "Surprise me."

"Well, we can't go anywhere we need reservations, and it's a little early for a proper dinner…"

"Yes, but we get up stupid early so staying out late isn't something that happens. So eating after the Juniors just leads to not really eating and falling asleep."

"True." Victor started to lead the way to his car, almost offering his arm, but then deciding against it. It was an awkward thing, and he knew it. Yes, this was not a date, but it was going out to eat with someone who was wearing his shirt and … maybe he'd talk to Chris about this. He'd always had such good advice.

Even though he knew he didn't need to, he found himself opening the door to the passenger side of his care for Yuri, a near subconscious gesture after having done such things for so long. When Yuri just confidently walked to the car to slide into the passenger seat as if people opened the door for him all the time it made Victor smile. Yes, Yuri didn't lack any confidence. Or maybe it was that deep down he did -- Yuri could fake it as well as Victor. They were so similar in many ways.

He slipped into the car, starting it and beginning to drive before glancing over to Yuri. "Your hair looks nice."

"Of course, Lilia taught me."

Victor just laughed, yes -- this was good for him. So different than the past several years -- and suddenly, Victor realized something. He was thinking of this as a date. For all he had denied it, he was thinking of this as taking Yuri on a date.

Not saying anything, and knowing time was short, Victor drove to a nearby resturant that was a little touristy but had actual authentic Italian food. Yuri shook his head, smirking as he let Victor lead the way. "You are the only person that would move back to Russia after years of living away and then not eat Russian food. Why not just fly to Italy if you want Italian." Of course, Yuri didn't think that Victor would do something that extravagant. He wasn't going to miss a chance to tease the other man though.

"Oh, Yura, that would take much more than two hours if we were to do that. Or are you saying you want me to fly you off to some Italian villa?"

There was a pause as Yuri almost responded, but then the words for stuck in his throat. He did kind of want to get whisked off to some exotic destination. He'd seen enough pictures of people doing things like that. He didn't travel unless it was for skating though. He traveled a lot, of course, just it was always for skating. "Now you're just being an asshole."

Victor pressed his lips together as he led the way into the restaurant. This early, they were quickly seated and given menus. "You know, I was not trying to be an asshole." Victor was less relaxed now, watching Yuri carefully. How his shirt hung so loosely on Yuri's frame distracted him. He loved how it looked.

"I know. You're just so naturally good at it." Yuri looked as the waiter arrived to take their drink orders. Yuri was glancing at the wine menu.

"Wine?" Victor tilted his head, for some reason not expecting Yuri to drink wine -- never mind that the young man was more than old enough.

"Was going to order a glass… unless you're being cheap."

"Oh no, I was just thinking a bottle would be better, Yura." Victor really couldn't take his eyes off the other man. He started to question the waiter about the wines.

Yuri sighed, "Seriously? We only have a little time to eat, we are not spending half of it on you playing wine snob. Cheapest bottle of merlot. You can deal with it." Yuri didn't even bother looking at what the cheapest bottle was.

"Are you sure?" Victor sat up straighter, wanting to argue and get something better.

"Just do it." Waving his hand in the air, subconsciously the gesture delicate and with a dancer's grace -- and he'd punch anyone who pointed that out to him.

Victor nodded, "Yes, please, that …"

"Of course, I will be back with that in a moment."

"You know, Yura, you could splurge a little." Victor leaned forward, his chin resting in his palm as he knew what he was going to order already.

The response to that was given with a smirk. "If you want me to splurge, just hand me the dessert menu."

"Sweets?" Victor would deny that his voice dropped when he said that.

"I've lived with Lilia most of the time since I was fifteen. How many sweets do you think I get?" Yuri's tone didn't soften, instead, the sarcasm grew.

"This is true." The information was filed away for now.

With Saint Petersburg being a harbor city, it did at least lead to fresh seafood and accessibility to imported items as well. Maybe that would justify the shrimp dish that Yuri ended up ordering when the waiter returned with the bottle. Victor went with a beef dish, but his ordering was half paid attention to. He was too busy watching Yuri as the waiter poured the first glasses of wine from the bottle.

Sometimes it was so easy to forget how delicate Yuri looked. His wrists were thin, his fingers thin, everything about the younger man's bone structure screamed delicate -- knowing of the injury, the delicateness was more worrisome. He needed to find out how the man had healed. Next week, he was going to make sure they ended up at the doctor. For now though, he allowed himself to be distracted as he watched Yuri lift the glass of dark liquid to his lips.

He knew Yuri knew he was watching, and he didn't care that Yuri knew. Victor shrugged as Yuri raised an eyebrow at him. "I should be charging you to look at me like that."

"Really? Dinner isn't enough?" The teasing was natural, perhaps too natural as Victor heard the low tone in his own voice.

"Mmmm not dinner here. This is fine -- this isn't … fancy." Even as he said it, he sipped at the wine, not breaking eye contact.

"Maybe I will do better if you win a gold Medal?"

"If I get to the Ondrej Nepela Trophy? I knew how you would absolutely adore traveling to Slovakia."

September, it'll be fine. It's May now. We have plenty of time to get ready. Place first there, and you'll get into the qualifiers."

"If I place first with a high enough score -- I'm starting at nothing, you know."

"True, we have a backup plan."

"If I can't get in off of that, do you think skating a second challenger is worth it?" Yuri shrugged. "It would be enough to get me into Russian Nationals, I do well at nationals and I am in for Europeans. Europeans is the path to worlds."

"I suppose the smart thing would be to wait to see how you feel after the Ondrej Nepela Trophy?"

"I know that's not what you want to hear. You want to hear me say yes, no matter what, we'll get into the qualifiers and from there we'll be in the Grand Prix and I'll win a gold, right?" It was what Yuuri had told him after all. It was exactly what Yuuri had almost pulled off six years ago.

"No, I'm glad you aren't saying that. I promised Yakov I was going to run you through medical -- not because he demanded it, but because I want it. I don't want to see you hurt and that you are not being stupid and obsessing over it at all costs -- it's a good thing."

Victor smiled at the waiter, nodding as the man brought their food to them.

Once they had their food and the waiter left, Victor continued. "And I want to redo your schedule. I want you to do physical therapy to strengthen as much as possible. You have the skating. Your program is down to details. This early in the season, we are so ahead of the game on that."

Yuri nodded, "I can agree to that. I don't have classes scheduled to start until September, so my summer is only what we are doing at the rink."

"Physical therapy. Strength training. I also -- want to consult Christophe."

"What does Giacometti have to do with this?"

"Yura, don't be like that. He is my oldest friend. He is also -- as you know, your style is very different than mine. While Yuuri was able to utilize Minako for advice on style--"

"Oh hell, no!" Yuri instantly realized he said that much too loud. He stabbed a shrimp on his plate, continuing his complaints at a lower volume. "There is no way we are going to get help from Christophe 'the man whore' Giacometti on my skating to sex it up."

Victor shook his head, laughing, so entertained by this as he watched Yuri eat. Even if he was pissed, he was hungry.

"He's not even coaching men's anymore, you know that, right?" Yuri hoped that Victor knew what the man's supposed 'oldest friend' was doing, but with Victor, Yuri knew it was best to not assume.

"He and his husband are training ice dancers -- some of the best in the world."

"I am not an ice dancer, I am doing figure skating, proper figure skating." Another sip of wine and Yuri was back to stabbing his food, taking out his anger on the dish.

"Oh I know, but you can not say your style does not have elements of dance to it. You started in seniors as Lilia's perfect dancer. You grew from there, but you're a Russian trained skater. It means ballet is at the core of everything you do. At your core, you are a dancer on the ice -- own it. It's your strength."

"Fine. You can talk to him."

"Can I show him the tape of today?"

This time Yuri frowned, "Fine. You can show him the tape. Is that why you wanted me in your shirt? So Christophe would see it?"

"No." Victor smiled, leaning back as he let the cheap wine swirl in his glass, "I wanted to see you in my shirt."

"Careful, old man, that sounds like flirting, and you know you don't want to do that."

"I know." Victor just laughed as he ate his meal, watching Yuri. This was going to be a very interesting summer. It was going to be busy though.

As Yuri waited for dessert, Victor texted Christophe.

> << Hey Chris. I wanted to get your opinion on a program?
> 
> >> So rumors are true? You are training in Russia again?
> 
> >> Now you are so close to me and I haven't heard a word from you.
> 
> << I know I know, I need to post more so people know what I am up to.
> 
> >> Especially now that everyone knows about -- you know.
> 
> << I know. I'm coaching though, here. I'm happy.
> 
> >> Good, I was worried
> 
> >> What program do you need me for?
> 
> >> No offense, but Yakov hasn't had a top skater since Mila and Yuri retired
> 
> << Oh Chris, I know. I have some very nice juniors here though and -- I'm sending you the video.

Victor looked up from his phone as Yuri drank more wine while he waited for his desert.

"And what did Chris say?" Another sip as Yuri was watching Victor. There was a hint of a smile.

"Why do you look happy, and he has agreed to look at the video." Sometimes Victor had such a hard time understanding what Yuri was thinking.

"Because you have that sappy smile on your face. You should go visit them once things calm down. Yakov is doing better every day.

"Maybe I will. It would be nice to visit and -- it was so far from Japan I just never--" Victor let his words trail off.

"Bullshit. Christophe flirting with you bothered Yuuri." Yuri wasn't going to let Victor get away with half-truths.

"I wouldn't say that …"

"You had a past with Christophe and while Yuuri never told you to put space between yourself and him, you know being close to Christophe made him uncomfortable?" Yuri tilted his head, watching Victor carefully, and near certain he had figured it out.

"Most people are not comfortable with their husband spending time with a former lover." He knew it was understandable, and for most people would have never been an issue.

"But he's your friend, Vitya," Yuri didn't even notice that he called Victor 'Vitya', being around Yakov and Lilia both referring to him by the name, just made it too natural. If he realized what he had done he would have said something, but he didn't notice. The only time he normally used the name Vitya was when he was being horrible, sarcastic, or cruel.

The piece of cheesecake was brought out, covered in a raspberry sauce and Yuri was smiling as he grabbed a fork -- not offering any to Victor.

"You wouldn't be jealous in his place?"

"No. I wouldn't. I would never be in a relationship with someone I could not trust." He closed his eyes, clearly loving how the dessert tasted.

"How many relationships have you been in?"

"I've dated. Serious relationships though. None. I don't trust people." He took another bite, the smirk on his lips making it hard to tell if he was telling the truth or not.

As Yuri ate, Victor just watched him, paying for the meal so they'd be back to the rink with plenty of time. "You're serious."

"Of course I am serious. You know how much time is left for doing anything in this sport. Add to that I'm going to school and everything with Lilia and …"

"I would have thought you and Otabek would have gotten together."

"No, he -- I love him. As a friend. He's my best friend, and if you hadn't come when I called, I would have been calling him because he'd have come here, stayed in my shitty apartment on my couch -- no, he'd have kicked me onto the wall side of the bed. He'd have helped for as long as he could have. No questions. He'd have come if I called." Yuri smiled, shrugging a little. Yes, Otabek was many things. He was an amazing DJ, he was adventurous, he was vicious at video games -- and as hard as it was to believe for most people -- not gay.

"I always thought the two of you would get together, after that skate program and all."

"Did you see it on Youtube old man." Yuri finally put down the fork. The dessert was gone and he was full. The last of the wine all that was left.

"I was there, remember?"

Yuri scoffed at that, "And much too busy with your ever so secret pairs skate to be paying attention to anything else."

"We had already skated by the time --"

"Just admit you didn't pay attention." Yuri shook his head, he didn't care if Victor had watched it or not. He firmly believed that Victor hadn't, and Yuri did not tolerate people lying to him, even if it was trying to be kind.

"Fine. I was … distracted."

"That's one word for it. Just tell me the truth, seriously. I'm not going to get pissed at the truth. Lies, lies and I will get pissed off every time."

"You seem happy enough now." Victor finished the last sips of wine in his glass.

"I ate too much dessert to be upset at anything right now. In fact, taking a nap until I have to do work is now appealing to me. I can yell at you any time. The cheesecake, on the other hand, is a 'now' thing." Yuri downed the last of his wine, less gracefully than Victor but still as quick.

"I see how it is, Yura. Are you ready?"

"Yes, let's get back to work. Thank you for dinner." Yuri's lips curled into a smile as he said it. He didn't make a snide comment though.

It didn't take long for them to get back to the rink. Yuri was clearly in a better mood after dinner. It made Victor wonder if he was eating enough -- then he realized, of course he wasn't. He was at the rink working near constantly, he barely snuck time to down snacks through the day and he was on the ice a lot. He needed to keep better track.

As they were reaching the ice, Victor's phone chimed. Looking down at it, he looked to Yuri, "It's Chris. He must have watched the video."

"Put him on speaker, I want to hear what shit he has to say." Yuri kept walking to the office though. He'd get his stuff from the locker room later. Right now, he still had a good forty minutes before the Juniors would be here and the couch sounded like too good of an idea.

"Chris! I have you on speaker phone! Yura is here!"

"Oh for fuck's sake old man, you sound as excitable as the eight-year-old little girls. Calm down."

"Yuri!" Chris's deep accent sounded from the speakers. "I did not know you were making a return to skating, it is so exciting to see you on the ice."

"Yeah yeah. I'm evidently shit at staying retired." Yuri collapsed onto the sofa once they got to the office, leaning back and relaxing. "So the old geezer here wants your opinion because some random bull shit he spouted off over dinner."

"Oh no, I see why Victor wanted me to see it. So seduction. That was my specialty you know."

Victor laughed as he leaned back in the office chair, sitting the phone on the desk so he didn't have to hold it as they both spoke.

"Yes yes, so sexy, I don't see why we're bothering you. I'm not trying to be sexy." Yuri frowned though because he did know it wasn't a chaste program either.

"Oh, but Yuri. No one said you were trying to be sexy. The fact you are being sexy in a very different way though needs to be brought out."

"I guess that makes sense, I mean -- there's something that drew me to the music." Yuri rolled onto his side, looking over at Victor. "Victor is trying to bring out the appeal of the program with the clothing. Evidently, he thinks swapping out leggings for pants and that's a costume."

"It's not what you've done in the past, Yuri, but I agree with him. This is a very different program than what you have done in the past. It's raw, Yuri. That's where the appeal and the sexiness come from." Chris's voice had dropped down another octave. "You could come here you know."

"Oh, but what if Vitya became jealous if I left him all alone in here?" The tease was clear in Yuri's voice, but the smirk could only be seen by Victor.

"Oh, really?" Chris clearly believed it.

"Yura, stop convincing my friends that we're having some illicit affair." Victor was smiling though, it wasn't that he was bothered, he just wanted Chris to know the truth.

"The ink on your divorce is dry, 'illicit affair' is entirely the wrong term." Yuri laughed though, shaking his head, "Besides, if we were having an illicit affair, it would certainly have a much nicer restaurant involved than the one we were just at."

"Oh, so Victor, you don't have some sexy new boyfriend?" Now Christophe had a tease to his tone.

"No, Chris. Also not dating Yuri." Victor's eyes went to Yuri as he said it.

"Oh fuck you. I am too sexy. Right, Christophe?"

There was just laughter over the phone. "It is good to hear both of you doing well." Chris laughed, a beautiful clear note as he let his voice soften. "So what help do you want from me."

"Yura is coming at this from a dance perspective -- but mostly ballet. So, got a lot of the moves right, but I want you to figure out what he can do to make it just a little more … like 'hey world, look, I am a sexy skater and I don't give a shit about you because I am unobtainable seduction' -- but not be like, trying to seduce. Does that make sense?" Victor's eyes never left Yuri as he said it.

"Christophe, what he means is he knows I can't seduce my way out of a paper bag, so no point in going that way -- besides it doesn't match anything else, so what can I do to be more … enticing?" Normally Yuri never had to search for the word in English, but this time he did. The nuance of this conversation difficult when the only language all three of them spoke was not native to any of them.

"I can do that. I will work on it and get back to you Monday with some ideas, yes?"

"Sounds perfect to me." Yuri closed his eyes, he still had a good fifteen minutes before he had to get off the couch.

"Perfect, Chris, I knew Yura and I could count on you."

"So are we calling him Yura now?" The curiosity was so clear in Chris's voice.

"If Yura is OK with that… actually, that might not be …"

"Yeah yeah, Christophe can call me Yura, I don't give a shit. And Victor, you can be a little petty sometimes if you want, you know that right? You've known Chris forever, he won't think less of you for not wanting to say the piggie's name.

"Really Yura? I thought you liked him?" Now Chris was very interested in what Yuri was saying.

"Yeah well, Victor might as well be Yakov's son, and Lilia might as well be my mother, so Victor is like my older step brother I never fucking wanted but got stuck with so -- I can be petty and bitch."

"Oh, Yura, you are so very good at being a petty bitch, you do know I love it?" The pure joy in Christophe's voice was clear.

"Mmm hmm, I know." Yuri rolled his eyes though even as he teased Christophe. "We need to go, tonight's juniors will be here soon so I need to put my skates on." With that, Yuri stood up, "Laters." He walked out, heading off to get his skates.

"It was a good program, wasn't it Chris?" Victor's voice dropped down though now that Yuri was gone.

"It was, it was so different from what I expected, but -- maybe he is going to surpass you in the ability to surprise people as well?" Then Chris dropped his voice, "You aren't dating?"

"No …" There was a pause though as he said no.

"I always thought a lot of the yelling he did at you was sexual frustration."

"Chris... it's complicated." This time there was a sigh from Victor.

"It's Yuri Plisetsky, of course it's complicated." Christophe laughed though, "You want that, don't you?"

"Chris … I am trying to be his coach."

"You don't want me to comment on that."

"It's too soon, I need to think to -- well, get my own apartment for one, re-establish a life here, and … maybe, if things in a few months are … he's young though."

"He had been legal for years and you know it. I'm not saying grow old with him, I'm saying have some fun for the love of everything."

"Maybe. Eventually. Work on the program, I have work to do -- I might come out and visit this summer though."

"Yura won't be jealous?" The tone of the man right back to a tease.

"No, Although I did ask him." He didn't tell Christophe the actual circumstances of the asking, the tease was so much better. "I have to go to work now, I will talk to you later."

"You are such a tease, Victor. All right, if you must. I will talk to you later."

When the call ended, Victor went back to work as if everything were completely normal and he hadn't just admitted all of that to his oldest friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are loved.
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both always open for questions and comments
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com)


	11. You're not alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder, the update schedule on this is weekly :)

It was Tuesday when they heard back from Christophe -- the message coming to Yuri's phone instead of VIctor's. Yuri downloaded the video that Chris sent, then once it was downloaded, excused himself to the office to watch it. This week was easy, it was one where it was just working the juniors. The two seniors would be back in another week from the ice shows they were doing. 

Victor was just as capable of teaching the new routines, so he was on the ice and not bothered by Yuri heading off to grab a break. While a piece of from Prokofiev's Cinderella played in the main rink, Yuri closed the door to block most of the sound. He put the earbuds in to watch the video, knowing he'd need to watch it a few times before actually calling Christophe.

Unsurprisingly, it wasn't Christophe on the video, instead, it was his husband. Very surprisingly, they weren't on the ice. Instead, Christophe was having his husband go through the step sequences. The man was just in knee-length spandex shorts -- which made sense. This was detail work on body movements. Yuri watch carefully, seeing the differences in how he did it and how this man did. Yes, some of that would work. Yuri had never tried to be seductive, and most of the displays on the ice were so much more than what he wanted to do. This was subtle. Honestly, he was surprised. He didn't know that Christophe knew what subtle was.

Yuri thought about calling Christophe back now, but instead, he texted.

> << Hey. Got the video. I like a lot of it. Can I call you in like three hours?
> 
> >> Three hours?
> 
> << The next junior Victor has to get through choreography is really flexible, and a girl. He's going to need me on this one.
> 
> >> Of course.
> 
> >> Until then, Yura.

Yuri rolled his eyes, knowing Chris was reading way too much into the familiar form of his name.

He didn't say anything though as he made his way out. It was going to be a long day -- the choreography needed here was of the type that while Victor could explain it and position the skaters, he didn't have the flexibility anymore. Honestly, Yuri wasn't sure he had ever had it, but Lilia had said at one time Victor was very flexible. Since the woman had never said a good word about his flexibility, Yuri wasn't sure what to make of that.

While Yuri didn't do anything but mark jumps for the program, he did do all the spin positions so they could be shadowed. While the fifteen-year-old with the gymnastics pedigree was a little more flexible than Yuri at twenty-one, he was still managing to hold his own in the routine. 

Finally, it was over, and now that it was seven at night, they were done for the night. "Victor. I'm going to just grab food and go to my place. Tell Lilia that I'll drop by tomorrow?"

"Of course. I was going to leave here a little early tomorrow and Friday if you could take those times? I have an agent setting up some times to look at apartments." Yes, Yakov was getting better every day, but the man was old. Him coming back as a more advisory role while Victor took over made more and more sense.

"Yeah. I'll just come in a little late tomorrow. It'll be fine." With that, Yuri grabbed his skate bag and left. Not a word about their dinner had been said since the night Victor had given him his shirt. Actually, Yuri wasn't sure if he was supposed to keep it -- however, he was going to. It was his now.

By the time he got home it was a little past the three hours, so he called Christophe as he was walking in.

"Yura! I was thinking you were going to stand me up. Is Victor with you?"

"Nope, it's late. The old man has a bedtime you know." He set the container of take-out he had grabbed, stabbing a piece of chicken with a fork as he chewed and walked over to his bed to throw the skate bag down.

"Oh, so it is just us?"

"Don't get kinky." He hung his jacket up as he walked barefoot across the hardwood floors to sync the phone to his laptop, transferring the video call to the larger screen. "I assumed a dance studio was more important than a rink right now."

"I am not opposed to that -- where are you?"

"My place." He moved the laptop so the majority of the dance floor could be on the screen.

"You have your own studio?"

"It's amazing what you can fit in an apartment if you decide a bedroom, living room, you know all that stuff isn't needed. With a sigh, he picked up the laptop to do a real quick 360 of the place so that Christophe could see.

"That is so not what I imagined you'd have. Honestly, from what Victor always said, I assumed you lived with your coaches."

"Only most of the time. Lilia cooks and when I'm here, I'm eating take out." He held up a piece of the chicken kabob he'd grabbed from a local chain and popped it into his mouth as he stripped out of the hoodie he'd had on. He still had on a long sleeve turtleneck. It was chilly after all. 

"You like the changes?"

"Yeah. I don't normally do the seductive thing. I mostly tell people to fuck off, so it's a challenge."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You know I am the only skater without some dating scandal in the press."

"So … Victor?"

Yuri rolled his eyes at that. "He's supposedly your oldest friend. If something were going on there, wouldn't you know it? Besides. He's too hurt still." Yuri pulled on a pair of black ballet flats as he walked out into the center of the dance floor.

"That's a no from him not a no from you."

"That is also the man I chased across an entire continent to make him fulfill a promise to do choreography for me, so I don't think you need to concern yourself about such things." He moved into his starting position.

"I need to see your body better to evaluate this." Chris was intently watching Yuri. He hadn't denied it. He'd presented reasons it was impossible -- those were two very different things. Yuri was not known for lying.

"Fine. You already know more than you should, so I guess that won't hurt."

"What do you mean?" Christophe pulled his phone closer, the glasses perched on his face as he watched Yuri start to strip out of clothes in the middle of the dance floor. First, the shirt was pulled off and tossed aside. The resolution didn't let him read the tattoos on the man, but he hadn't known there were any. Half of him had been expecting hickies. How this had stayed out of the tabloids was a surprise.

Christophe stayed quiet as Yuri pulled off his leggings, not seeming to care at all that he was now standing there in a tight pair of black boxer briefs. He had too many years as an athlete and a dancer to have any embarrassment over his body. He pulled the ponytail holder out of his hair, leaving it on his wrist as he shook out his hair, "Better?"

"Much." It was clear how much Yuri had changed since he had last shown any flesh on the ice. Every year after that first one had been a much more covered Yuri competing. Maybe the tattoos explained why the younger man had always changed in a more private area than the main parts of the locker room. Not that many other people didn't do the same. Chris had never seen the point, but he was an exhibitionist at heart.

Saying something in Russian, the speaker system acknowledged that it would play the song. Even without knowing Russian, it was more than clear when the device was addressed as Alexa and it responded in the same well-known voice -- just a different language.

Eyes closed, Yuri was in the starting position. He started to move through the program trying to get the positioning how it had been in the video but then he stopped. "That was shit -- I'm sorry, give me a second." 

He closed his eyes, the music still playing as he let himself get lost in thought for a moment. As he did, the way his shoulders relaxed could be seen over the video feed. His breathing changed and his entire carriage as he reissued the commend. This time when he started to move it was smoother, his hips imitating the movements in the video more and his back rolling before his feet started to move into the step sequence, modified for the dance floor, but that wasn't the part they were worried about. This time his expression was perfect. Eyes only half open, and bottom lip held by his teeth as he effortlessly moved through the languid moves. The difficulty and points coming in from the reach and balance. This wasn't fast -- but it didn't need to be. The points would come from other parts.

As he moved through the program, he marked the jumps instead of doing them -- that wasn't what they were working on. Spins didn't spin, but the positions were moved through, the balance in them highlighted without the centrifugal force that would help stabilize on the ice.

"Touch your hair more, Yuri. It's beautiful, draw attention to it." It was. The mess of blond was perfect for the program. As Yuri moved into the second step sequence, his hands went to his hair, running his own fingers through the tresses as he twisted his back, leading into the turns shoulder then him as his back arched and almost writhed from position to position. 

Christophe's eyes were on the play of muscle under the man's skin -- if there was a way to heighten that for the viewer -- but this was a free skate, not an exhibition. There was only so much they could do. In person, enough of that strength should be clear. He needed the muscles exposed because of the video feed.

"Who are you thinking of, Yura?" The question was soft as Christophe kept watching Yuri move through the song. 

"No one." The lie wasn't convincing. He held his final pose, letting his eyes close as he gasped for breath. "How was that?"

"Better much better. Impossible to believe you aren't thinking of someone. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Girlfriend?"

"Also no." As Yuri walked over to the laptop to grab a towel so he could get rid of some of the sweat, he asked, "Why are you so interested in my love life?"

"Because you are a very handsome man who seems to not have one … Oh, those words?" Now Yuri was close enough that Chris could see the words were not encouragements. They were the opposite.

Yuri rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah. Whatever." He took a deep breath as he hit a button on the laptop, showing that it had been recording him and he fast forwarded to the final run-through of the program to see how it looked while Chris could also see it. "My back looks better there."

"It does, it's better balanced and it'll be better on the ice. Personally, I'd love to see you throw sex appeal out there with a vengeance and let the scores fall where they will. Block out your formerly pristine reputation."

"We'll see how this goes at my first competition. I'm confident I'll score enough points to qualify for the Russian nationals."

"You're not aiming for the Grand Prix, Yura?" Oh yes, Chris was enjoying the nickname.

"If I can, I will. I still need to convince Victor that I am medically able to compete in Slovakia in a few a months."

"The Ondrej Nepela Trophy?" 

"Mmm hmmm. It's close. The timing is good. It's a rink I've spent time at. It's a good choice. Their ice is normally very good -- sometimes with the smaller events it's more hit or miss, and I can't risk sloppy ice."

"Makes sense. How are you going to convince Victor?" 

Glancing at the screen, Yuri realized Christophe was swirling a glass of dark wine. It was getting late though. Even with the two hour time difference between there and here, it was already getting late there. It was just very late in Russia now. "I am sure you wish I was going to say I'd just seduce him, but we are getting a fresh MRI of my knee and ankle next week."

"I think you both need to get laid."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "Commentary on my skating is good. Commentary on my sex life I don't need. Besides, I am trying to get Victor to go and spend some time with you and your husband this summer once Yakov is a little better. He could use a vacation and I am sure you would love to have him there now that he isn't married."

"I can't say that is a lie. However, I would hate for such a thing to cause any … tension between him and his student." The words were nearly purred.

"Chris, just fuck off, okay? I don't need one more person giving me shit about my personal life. I am not fucking Victor. I have never fucked Victor. I will never fuck Victor. My English teacher would be so proud of my verb conjugation there."

Christophe smirked, "Oh and why do you say never."

"We aren't having this conversation." With that, Yuri got up to walk back to the center of the dance floor and restart his music. He would never tell Christophe that it was pale blue eyes and silver hair that he used to get his mind into the right mood for this skate. No, not in a wanting to surpass the man way, but in a much more intimate manner. He'd been turned down enough though, he wasn't going to pursue things any more with the man.

By the time the final two run throughs were done, Yuri was exhausted, his hair wet from sweat and his breathing rough. He was in no mood to be teased and Christophe could more than tell that. "Get some rest I'll get you notes on these in a day or two. It's late."

"Yeah yeah, day or two. I'm going to get a shower and go to bed."

"You know, Yura -- if you wanted to come to visit …"

"Really?" This time the eye roll was clear as could be. "Are you trying to talk me into flying out there so the two of you can try to proposition me?"

"Yes. However, if you wanted to come to work on your program that would be fine as well. Having you here might make some people jealous.

If Yuri hadn't been as exhausted as he was, the mention of that would have never been as tempting as it was. However, sitting there, exhausted and covered in sweat, he couldn't hide the little smirk that formed at that. "Maybe."

Chris's grin turned positively predatory. "So there is someone you want to make jealous."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't deny it being true."

"Later Christophe." With that Yuri ended the call, he wasn't going to deal with this right now. He had work to do -- a lot of work.

* * *

Three weeks passed, Yakov getting stronger and stronger every day and the juniors and the seniors looking more and more ready for when their actual seasons started in just a few short months. For Juniors, it could actually be measured in weeks now. 

Victor had been stuck at the rink late, working on paperwork to get his juniors -- no yakov's juniors. They were still Yakovs. Working on getting all the juniors registered for the competitions they needed to attend. He'd be flying with some and Yuri would be flying with others -- of course, Yakov would remain in Saint Petersburg no matter how well his recovery was progressing.

Walking into Lilia's, he was carrying a stack of paperwork. He wanted Yakov and Yuri to look over it before he sent the forms to have the reservations for plane tickets and hotel rooms made. Right now it was easy to make corrections. Once they hit the point where there were airlines and hotel chains involved, it became much more difficult.

Walking into the house, he was surprised. Dinner smelt better than normal and there was animated talking in the dining room. Yuri's voice carried, and whatever was going on, the young man seemed happy.

As he entered he saw Lilia hugging the blond. "Congratulations Yurochka. I am so proud of you."

"Good job. I know this wasn't easy." Yakov was clearly happy as well.

"What did I miss?" Victor set the paperwork down on a side table, it could wait until later.

"Yura got his grades for the last term, perfect again." Lilia's pride was so clear.

"Congratulations. I was never good at those things." Victor smiled though, seeing Yuri honestly happy and proud of himself was always a wonderful thing. The way his eyes lit up and his eyes narrowed from smiling. It was so rare and so good.

"That was so much work" Yuri plopped into a chair, clearly relieved that he had managed to keep his grades up with everything going on.

"Yes, Vitya -- I love you, but you were never…" Yakov wasn't sure how to phrase it. "The tutors we were able to get you helped at least."

"Well, can't be good at everything." Victor was smiling though as he joined them at the table, just having gotten home in time for dinner. He would be moving out in another week, but he was rather certain it would be similar to how Yuri moved out. There had never been even the slightest hint from Lilia or Yakov that he wasn't more than welcome here as much as he wanted to be.

Dinner that night was wonderful, then Yuri said a comment out of what seemed to be nowhere. "Victor? How would you feel if I was gone for a few days in a week or two?"

"Gone?"

"Yeah … Giacometti invited me out to work on my step sequences."

"He invited you out to his rink?" Suddenly Victor was suspicious.

Lilia looked over at Yuri, "But I normally help with that?"

"This is less .. ballet and more … " Yuri wasn't sure how to explain it. Yakov and Lilia still had not seen the programs.

"Yuri is going to be doing a little more mature of a program and Christophe is…"

"Oh no." Lilia set her fork down, stopping eating to disagree. "Yuri is not doing any sort of a program like Christophe's. Yurochka, you are a better dancer than that. You can do so much.."

"I'm not going to be slutting it up on the ice. Seriously. Why would you think I would do that? His husband is a very successful ice dancer and choreographer. I'm more going for that level of … whatever. The sexual tension of a good ice dance routine, but brought to a men's free skate. No grabbing my ass. No crotch shit. None of that crap. Subtle."

"I want to see this program." Lilia did not look convinced. 

Yuri sighed, getting up to walk over to grab his laptop from his bag. "Fine. I know I won't be able to have a peaceful dinner until you see it." He kept eating, his plate on the coffee table now as he started to set up his laptop to play on the TV screen. It would make it easier for everyone involved to see this without having to huddle around a tiny screen.

Giving up on eating, a concerned Lilia walked over to the couch and VIctor was left to get Yakov's cane. In the past week, the man had graduated to just that as a stability aid. He was so much better at walking now. 

As Yuri started the normal short program playing, Victor helped Yakov into the chair. "This is my short program, I am sure this will meet approval."

"Nice, classical, a little angry but … it suits." Lilia was watching intently, leaning forward as she perched on just the edge of the couch.

"It's good. It's solid. You knew that." Yakov's comments were straight and to the point.

"The short program, Yura put together all by himself. I haven't touched it at all, I think it is basically perfect for him how it is." Victor was looking from Yakov to Lilia, he hadn't ben certain what they'd think, but this piece was not confrontational.

The next video to cue up was Yuri in costume for his free skate. That meant this one was from two days ago. Victor had wanted him to run it with the shirt to make sure the oversized white dress shirt didn't cover too much of his form. It was silk though, so it clung in every way it should as the young man moved through the moves of this program.

Lilia's eyes narrowed as she watched. This was not her kind of dancing, but she knew it was good. She knew this was skilled and no, it was not overly sexy like she had worried. Yes, there were sensual components, but she had been a performer mor than long enough to know that such things were not only viable in a program like this but enhanced the artistry.

Yakov's expression was more critical. He didn't say anything until it was over. "Your artistic score will be high. The technical … "

"We're working on that." Victor relaxed as he saw Yuri's body release the tension it had been holding. "The jumps will get some more difficulty, but the other elements are already highly difficult. Since we're shooting for the Ondrej Nepela Trophy first, I don't see us having any problem scoring very well there. Honestly, anything beyond that is a bonus at this point."

Yakov nodded. "And the doctor's report?"

"It was good. They scanned everything last week. The break has healed well. The hardware in his body shouldn't negatively impact things. The knee is looking very stable. I have him in physical therapy anyways to work on strengthening those muscles to help prevent further injury though.

Yakov nodded. "I see. Then .. Yurochka. You have my blessing to train for coming back."

Without thinking, Yuri left the couch, rushing to Yakov to hug him. Skating without the man knowing had been hard. Skating with his disapproval had been near unbearable. It was pure relief now.

Victor nodded, smiling. "Once you help me go over the junior travel plans, the sooner you went to the Giacometti's for help, the better I believe"

"I will." Yuri was smiling. Relief was a wonderful emotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are love :)
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both always open for questions and comments
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com))


	12. When in Switzerland ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a rough weekend so wanted to get this out a little early because I know a lot of people were looking forward to this part :)

A week and a half later, Yuri was stepping off the plane in Zurich, his leopard print skate bag being rolled behind him. The upgraded one he had obtained a few years ago had wheels instead of needing to be slung over his back. By the time he reached baggage claim and grabbed his suitcase he was more than exhausted, even just pulling it behind.

No one was here to pick him up. No, no fan clubs anymore. No paparazzi. As far as anyone knew, he was just a second rate assistant coach who probably had gotten his position as a sign of pity from his old coach.

With his suitcase in tow, he made his way to get a cab. It wasn't far to the Giacometti residence. He knew it was a lovely home in old town, not too far from the skate center -- and he really had planned to have a hotel. Christophe had insisted and saved the money from a hotel was something Yuri had a hard time arguing with the fact that this arrangement at least made this more within his budget. Yuri stepped out of the cab, paying and tipping before he walked up to ring the bell. Of course, it would be Christophe who would answer. Before Yuri could even say a word, he was pulled into a tight hug.

"Yura! I am so happy you made it! Please, you have to come in! You know that we have been so looking forward to having you join us. Masu almost has dinner ready. We thought you would be hungry."

"Uhh, thank you…" Yuri found himself being near pulled into the modern living room. Honestly, he was not sure how comfortable he was with this. "Victor should be entirely moved into his new apartment next week. It would make it much easier for his friends to visit him?" He couldn't forget these were Victor's friends, not his.

"That would be wonderful."

Yuri jumped forward as he felt Christophe's hand drop. The quick reflexes enough to escape the grabbing of his butt.

"Yura, please, make yourself at home. Take off your coat. I'll bring your bags to the guest room."

Yuri just nodded, moving to sit at one of the stools at the breakfast bar in the very modern styled kitchen. The entire house was exceedingly modern, bordering on Scandinavian in appearance. He found himself looking at Masumi Giacometti who was pulling what appeared to be some sort of roast from the oven. In all actuality, he wished Victor were here. Then he could just find Christophe's cat and hide in the room with the only creature in the house that didn't make him nervous.

Masumi smiled at Yuri as Christophe carried everything off. "He really is excited to have you here."

"I could tell from the butt grab."

"Oh you know, Christophe will be Christophe." The soft-spoken man smiled as he set the roast to the side to rest, finishing up the side dishes. "Can I offer you anything to drink?"

Yuri's eyes narrowed as he tried to think of what he could get away with asking for. "Vodka, wine, tea, or water -- descending order of preference?"

"It is a little early for hard alcohol with dinner, however…" The man reached down to pull a bottle of red wine from what was evidently a wine cooler under the breakfast bar of the kitchen. "How about a nice Cabernet?"

"Lovely." There wasn't even sarcasm, just appreciation that he was getting alcohol. Yuri was no stranger to good wine -- he did go out to eat with Lilia frequently enough and there was an occasional bottle at her house.

"Not a wine snob?"

"Absolutely not. Lilia gives me all the stuff she won't drink, so if you want to grab a cheaper bottle, I could not possibly care less." Yuri smile as he shrugged, "Hell, you should ask Victor about my taste in Vodka. Trust me, he thinks it's horrible."

Masumi laughed as he started to pour the wine. There was no need to change to a different bottle, besides, Christophe would appreciate this one. "Christophe has been so excited to have Victor back … closer."

Yuri raised an eyebrow at that, tilting his head as he looked at the man. "I am trying to decide if you are happy about that."

"Oh no, I am happy. Honestly, Chris had been so sad to have … a distance between him and Victor."

Yuri let out a deep sigh, much too tired to dance around subjects. "OK. You are happy that Victor is out of a relationship so Chris can try to get in his pants again because you're cool with that shit or he would have never tried to grab my ass right in front of you."

Masumi laughed, "I had forgotten how straight forward you are."

Maybe Yuri was slightly distracted talking to Masumi that he didn't hear Christophe sneak up behind him, the loud yell as he felt his ass grabbed though was very clear … somehow he didn't spill the wine. "What the fuck Chris. I'm not Vitya, you can't just go grabbing me."

"Vitya is it?" The tease was so clear in the other man's voice as Christophe leaned over the counter to take the offered glass of wine from his husband,

"Chris, not today. Please. I had a long flight, and there isn't a direct flight, so … just. Not today?" Yuri just sighed. He knew he wasn't going to be left alone, he had known it when he came here. He had just hoped to get a little further into this trip before being cornered.

"But _Yura_ , you know ---"

"Chris." Masumi smiled at his husband, "Why don't we let Yuri be. If he wants to tell you what's going on, he will."

"Damn straight." Yuri downed the last of the wine in the glass.

"And if he doesn't, it just gives us more of a reason to fly out to see Victor and corner him for answers."

Yuri found himself sitting up straighter, looking from one Giacometti to the other, "Fuck. You're both like this." He sighed, rolling his eyes. "It's not the juicy story you are both hoping for. I made a move. I was turned down. End of story. Can we eat now?"

Christophe's reaction was one of confusion while Masumi looked more concerned. "Of course. Sorry, Yuri."

"It's fine. Just we don't need to bring it up again." With a sigh, Yuri took a picture of the wine glass and sent off a message to Victor, not even thinking of how stupid it was to text the man with Christopher and his husband right there.

> << Your friends are more bearable when there is a lot of wine

Yuri smirked as it was sent, setting his phone down as he thanked Masumi for the food the man had made.

"So Yura?" Christophe tried to not look like he was going to pry, but he failed.

"What?" Yuri glanced at his phone to see if there was a response.

"How do you think Victor will handle it if he has to coach you and then you and then Minami gets into the same GP Qualifier?"

Yuri shrugged, letting a ghost of a smile drift across his face. "Oh, I think you are asking the wrong question. How will the piggie deal with me is the better question."

"But you said …"

"I said Victor turned me down. I never said I was going to stop being a bitch." Another smirk as Yuri tilted his head at Chris, giving his best angelic look -- he had so become Lilia's perfect dancer before he had been injured.

* * *

That night, Yuri had excused himself to his room early, well early for the local time zone. He'd only be here for a few days, getting used to the time difference didn't seem worth it.

He pulled out his phone, checking for messages and not seeing any. With a frown, he was not going to let that happen.

> << how did today go?

He stretched out on the bed, feeling the soft sheets as he waited for a response. When one didn't come, he flipped the camera to selfie mode. Snapping a picture of the tattooed word 'asshole' on his body, he sent it before texting as well.

> << are you ghosting me?
> 
> >> are you sending naked pictures?
> 
> << maybe.
> 
> << you at lilia's?

Yuri was smiling now that he was getting a response.

> >> in the office at the rink. Your cat wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> << she is a perfect angel and you know it.
> 
> << wish you could pass the vodka. Chris kept giving me wine
> 
> << I'll be pissed if I'm still drunk in the morning.
> 
> >> I've never seen you wine drunk

Yuri didn't think it through. Instead, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside before pulling his joggers down a good two inches to show off his hip bones.

Kicking the blankets aside, he took a few shots. It had been so long since he had tried to look sexy, and if he had drank less wine, he'd never be doing this. Once the best one was decided on, he sent it before he could have second thoughts.

> << now you have
> 
> << good night.

Smiling, Yuri plugged in his phone so it could charge. Morning meant going to the rink.

* * *

In the office of the sports complex, Victor sat up. He hadn't expected that picture. It had been so long since anyone had sent him anything like that, and he had to admit, Yuri looked incredible in it. Of course, he knew of how that body had filled out and the strength in it. Yuri had been a world-class athlete, and he would be again. what he didn't know was why did Yuri desire him. He had no uncertainty about why the younger man's fans still desired Yuri. No victor knew beauty, and Yuri was beautiful.

He stretched out on the couch, alone aside from the bottle of vodka. He tried not to think about how this Yuri was the one in his dreams now sometimes. No, if he was honest, most nights now he dreamt of blond hair. With that picture fresh in his mind, he knew tonight would be no exception.

* * *

The next morning, Yuri's head was throbbing. He pulled pills out of his bag before remembering he didn't have anything in the room to take them with. Trying to swallow them dry was a possibility, but his mouth felt like cotton -- better to just force himself to find water. Stumbling from the room, his head spinning still he tried to decide if the kitchen or the bathroom was closer. He didn't even bother with the water dispenser on the refrigerator. He just grabbed a glass and took the pills with water from the sink.

"You look rough."

Yuri turned, eyes narrowed as he watched Masumi walk over to start pulling things out to make breakfast. "Wine hangover."

"I see. I was always told that Russians handled their alcohol?"

"Fuck you. Wine get me every time." With that, Yuri opened the fridge, looking around for what was in there before grabbing a mostly empty jar of pickles and carrying it over so he could sit at the counter. "I just need to pull myself together. I'll be good to skate soon."

Masumi watched as Yuri downed the pickle juice before starting the eat the last remaining pickles. "That is gross."

"It works. I always misjudge the wine."

"You should go back to bed. We can go to the rink this afternoon instead." Masumi actually looked concerned as he started to cook.

Before Yuri heard Christophe approach, he heard Chris's cat. Turning to see Chris stumble out in just a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, Yuri suddenly realized that he had never even thrown his shirt back on. In fact, he still only had his own joggers near slipping off his hips.

"Oh, Yura. You look … " Christophe stopped, clearly looking Yuri up and down. 

"I forgot my shirt, okay." Yuri rolled his eyes as he ate another pickle, giving Matsumi a look as he asked, "Don't you have a leash for him?"

"I hadn't realized how the tattoos would look in person." Christophe walked up, moving much too close.

Yuri ignored him, leaning over to pick up the cat and placing the white ball of fur on his lap, "You know your humans are weird, right?"

"Mmm hmmm, but Yura, do you want to tell me why I have a message from Victor asking if you're still drunk?" Chris was smiling as he kept looking at the half-naked Russian holding the white cat.

Shaking his head, he ate the last pickle. "Not really." Then, he heard the snap of Chris's phone's camera. "Are you seriously sending him a picture of me hung over?"

"I won't if you tell me what I want." 

Sighing, Yuri let his head rest on the counter next to the pickle jar, grabbing his own phone to grab the selfie of him and the empty pickle jar and sending it to Victor. 

<< HungoverAF

"There. He knows. There goes your blackmail." He locked his phone again before putting it down on the counter and sitting back up. "I'm going to grab a shower, I'll be ready for the rink when you guys said you normally go down. Two hours right? Plenty of time."

Chris leaned back, watching Yuri leave to go back to his room. He glanced over at the bottle of painkillers left next to the empty pickle jar. "Should I back off?"

"I don't think so. I think he -- likes it."

"What?" Christophe walked over to his husband, wrapping his arms around the man's waist. "You are crazy, you know this. Yuri doesn't like anything."

Leaning back into the embrace to kiss along Christophe's neck, Masumi chuckled, "Oh really? Because I think he very much likes Victor."

* * *

Two hours later and they were at the rink. Yuri was dressed as he always was for practice, a long-sleeved black mock turtleneck and the black leggings with the very visible knee brace today. His hair was tied back in a low ponytail to just keep it out of the way for now. He was out on the ice, warming up, skating and stretching and doing a few single jumps to warm up.

Once warmed up, Yuri brought his phone over to Christophe, unlocking it so his free skate music could play. As he skated to the center of the rink, he closed his eyes and pulled out the hair band, letting the elastic stay around his wrist. If the piggie could pull off seductive, Yuri knew he could too … but no. That was not what he wanted. He let his body relax, feeling the beat of the music as he started to move. He didn't need to seduce anyone. He embodied this music in every way. He didn't have to try, he just was. All he had to do was exist on the ice as this music -- unobtainable.

As Masumi and Christophe watched him skate in person for the first time in years, Yuri didn't notice Christophe discretely begin snooping on Yuri's phone. Leaning over to his husband, Chris whispered, "We're going to do this a second time and have Yuri skate with you. I know you can help bring this out, the moves are there -- it is so close."

With a nod, Masumi nodded, "Of course." He never pulled his eyes from Yuri on the ice -- so many people couldn't pull their eyes from him.

As Yuri took his final pose, Christophe clapped, "Wonderful. Much better in person. Much better. I want to try something though." As Masumi took the ice, Christophe smiled, "I want you to do the skate again, mark your jumps only, but adapt to pairs."

"I don't do ice dance." Yuri cocked a hip and folded his arms over his chest as he watched Masumi approach.

"Trust us, Yuri. We know what we are doing." Masumi skated up behind him, a few centimeters taller but not much broader.

Yuri tried to relax as he shook his head, he didn't say no, instead with a sigh, he nodded, "Fine. We will try it your way." Closing his eyes, Yuri tried to relax and get back into the right headspace for his program. Emotions had always been his problem -- being mad was so easy for him. This was so much harder.

Leaning in, words were whispered, "Pretend I am him,"

For a moment, Yuri tensed but then he relaxed as he felt warm hands against his sides. Victor almost never touched him at practice, only commanding from the sidelines. The few times he had though …. A ghost of a smile spread over Yuri's lips as the music started and he started to move. 

This time the movements were just a little different, slower and more determined. Not for the first time did Christophe realize that Yuri would have been just as unstoppable as an ice dancer. The adaptation to being part of a pair coming naturally from his years of dance under Lilia. He ignored how his own husband had to skip choreography parts to keep up with Yuri. The important part was to keep hands on the younger man -- because if there was one thing Christophe knew, it was that Yuri was touch starved. It was so clear in that selfie he had found from last night, how Yuri had let a hand rest on himself.

As the program ended, Chris's eyes were still locked on Yuri, watching as the final pose adapted to have his head lolled back on Masumi's shoulder. It was perfect.

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful." 

As Masumi backed away, Yuri's eyes opened and he nodded, the expression on his face never changing. "Play it again. This time by myself.

As Masumi skated back to Christophe, the song was cued up and this time the movements retained the same sensual flow, this time without a physical body, just Yuri and the ice. The triple axle double loop combination at the beginning was beautiful, his arm position relaxed and near languid as if someone else were stretching his arms over his head.

The movements continued as all the complexity of his program was brought back, but with the same movements of when he had done it as a dance. How his back arched into his spins, contorting as he spun. Both Christophe and Masumi knew the effort being put into the program, but that effort was hidden, appearing to an outside viewer that this was nothing more than Yuri owning the ice. 

Chris wished he had been recording it, but he hadn't thought they'd have a breakthrough this early -- but Yuri had been on the cusp of it for months. Then the final combination, triple flip, single loop, then a triple Salchow to end, skating out of it in a beautiful arabesque before pulling himself in for a final spin and his ending pose.

As Yuri skated over to him, Chris was doing the math in his head even as he grabbed Yuri's water bottle to hand it over. "That was -- beautiful."

"It isn't one of my old technical scores."

"No, but your artistry, it will balance." Chris's heart was racing. Yes, now he knew where to work exactly with Yuri -- this was going to be an amazing year. Then again, of course, Victor had sent Yuri to him. Victor had clearly never tired of the surprises.

* * *

That night as they were reviewing the footage that was shot, Yuri's phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out of his pocket, careful to not disturb Chris's cat. It was strange to get notifications. Raising an eyebrow as he sipped brandy, Yuri shook his head. "Chris. It would appear the press believes you should be taking me out back and beating me up. Want to take a photo?"

"What?" Chris grabbed his phone out and started to scroll. "I am so sorry…"

"No, things were bound to leak, I just …" Yuri was still shaking his head.

As Masumi grabbed out his phone he frowned, "Christophe Giacometti's husband? I have a name. I have medals."

When he was younger, Yuri would have fought against the rumors. Instead, he smirked as he held up his phone. "I need a good picture." As he snapped the picture of Masumi holding his brandy up to toast the air, the fact he was about to cause trouble was more than clear. Then, logging into his long idle account, he posted the picture with the simple text:

> < His name is Masumi Giacometti. He has medals you know. Show some respect. >

"And that should alert way too many people that I have posted something on my public account." Yuri laughed as he took another sip of brandy. This trip hadn't been that bad. He was being kept pleasantly tipsy and he had a cat in his lap.

For once Christophe had nothing to say, his eyes just looking at his phone as the notifications started to happen so quick his phone never stopped vibrating from them. "Yuri … this might …"

"Oh like anyone would believe either of you would cheat on the other. You'd just invite someone to join you both." Yuri rolled his eyes as he said, "Fine fine. Both of you together. I'll post you two being gross together." Honestly, he was enjoying this.

Yuri took the picture of Chris and Masumi kissing on the couch and uploaded it to his public account. 

> <Anyone who thinks these two are anything but in love doesn't know what they're talking about. Happy to be getting their help>

Then he took another picture. This time of the white Persian in his lap. He posted that as well.

> <The only cheating going on is with Chris's cat. No one tell Potya >

"There. That should settle everyone down. " Yuri just leaned back with his brandy again.

* * *

By the time Victor saw the commotion online, the entire cycle had been run through. The pictures from Yuri's ice dancing version of his program with Christophe's husband had spread, but so had the explanation and the accompanying pictures. He knew he shouldn't be feeling unsettled by it; however, he couldn't stop looking at the pictures. Even after he had left the rink and was in his room at Lilia's, he couldn't stop. He kept looking at them.

Victor knew Yuri's skating and the development of it better than most people. He knew what the man was overcoming to skate right now better than anyone else -- at least from a physical aspect. While part of his mind was firmly detached from what he was viewing in the pictures, another part of him couldn't help feeling jealous -- even if he knew he had absolutely no right to be jealous.

Victor sighed, turning off the light in his room to pull the quilt up over him. Tomorrow he was getting the key to his new apartment. He'd start moving in shortly after. He had hired an interior designer to take care of furniture and such thing. Honestly, Victor had neither the time nor the predilection to do such things. He couldn't fall asleep though, grabbing his phone again to look not only at the leaked photos but also the response photos from Yuri -- the comfort shown in those photos, he longed for that with Yuri as well.

Yuri had no reason to be uncomfortable around Christophe or his husband. Victor had not only no reason to be jealous, and he also had no right to be jealous. He had turned down Yuri's advances, and for Yuri's part, the advances had ended right then. Victor had not had to deal with any fall out -- Yuri had just gone back to a completely 'normal' relationship. Sure, that relationship now involved Yuri being catty about Minami's skating, but Victor was sure that had absolutely nothing to do with the kiss. Minami had rubbed Yuri wrong since the first moment Yuri had met the other skater.

Finally, Victor flipped back to the picture Yuri had sent him, letting his eyes drift over the other man's bare skin. He knew that Yuri wouldn't have sent it completely sober. He knew that it had been posed, everything about it was too perfect. His fingers went to the screen, a quick motion and he was zoomed onto Yuri's face, focusing on how the man was holding his lower lip in between his teeth. Yes, that looked good. If Victor were honest with himself, he wanted that. He remembered how it had felt to kiss those lips and to have Yuri right there. Part of him wished he had been drunk and had done something, but it was better that he hadn't.

He sighed, setting his phone down again. This was bad. He couldn't get Yuri off of his mind. He knew there was only one way to fall asleep quickly tonight. Letting out a breath that he hadn't realized he had even been holding, his hand slid under the waistband of the loose jogging pants he was sleeping in. Normally he slept naked, but living at Lilia's house, it just did not seem appropriate. Besides, he was not willing to rule out an emergency happening with Yakov.

Shaking his head, Victor mentally chastised himself for letting his thoughts go to his coach. This was not about his coach, this was about Yuri, and looking at the pictures of the younger man had been more than enough to get him half hard already. Yes, he felt guilty about what he was doing, but that didn't change the fact that his hand wrapped around his shaft as he remembered what it was like to kiss those lips. The aggression had been unexpected, but even now, it left him wanting more.

Pulling back his foreskin, he let the pad of his thumb circle the slit on the tip of the head, just letting the slick, clear fluid collect on the one finger. He wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, but he knew exactly who he was going to think about as he did it. He could practically smell the scent of the other man's shampoo, the slightly citrus odor and how it combined with the ever-present mint scent of the topical pain reliever. That was nothing compared to how Yuri's breath had felt on his neck -- oh yes, Victor was hard now.

He still didn't know what he wanted. Yuri on his knees with those lips wrapped around his cock? Yuri on hands and knees letting him have the perfect view of that ass. Yuri over him on the bed, legs straddling his hips and grinding against him -- or maybe even Yuri gripping Victor's legs and exposing him before claiming -- yes, all those options sounded amazing. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about this, not after that night. Before if his thoughts had occasionally gone to blond hair, it had been when he had thought Yuri would rather see him dead than in bed -- and now he very much knew that he had turned down an invitation.

Thinking was making this too difficult, keeping his erection tenuous when he thought of how he had hurt the other man. He needed to put that out of his mind for the night. He had to think only of how it had felt to kiss him. Those lips radiated warmth. He knew how it felt to touch that body, oh, of course, it was mostly innocent touches while training, but he knew the muscles and how pliant that man's flesh could be -- and he wanted that. Yes, that was the thought, how it would feel to grip Yuri's firm ass in his hands and rock into it hard. He wanted that -- god did he want that. To hear that voice and those low grunts he made when being stretched and feeling the burn of muscle -- Victor was sure he'd sound the same having sex. 

His hand moved harder, stroking up and down his entire length as he remembered every last contour of Yuri's body. Years of training had built muscle in perfect balance. Yuri was a work of art, a dancer and skater sculpted by the best hands and Victor wanted that so bad tonight. To hear Yuri calling out his name, to hear a chant of Vitya, and all the dirty Russian words that boy's filthy mouth would say. He knew Yuri wouldn't be polite in bed, no, there would be swearing and commands and just the thought of Yuri being pissed and yelling at him to fuck him hard sent a bolt of electricity down his spine as he remembered the heat of their mouths crashing together -- and then his back arched, his orgasm coating his own hand as he was left panting in bed, suddenly realizing it was all just a fantasy.

When Yuri returned from Switzerland, he wasn't going to get to do that for real. No, just a fantasy -- he was still divorced, still alone, and still living in Lilia's guest room -- which had been thoughtfully supplied with tissues, and he was certain Lilia had not thought they'd be used by him to clean up after fantasizing about Yuri. Intentions aside, Victor did just that, sighing as he rolled onto his side to fall asleep and save him from his own thoughts of all the mistakes he had made in life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are love :)
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both always open for questions and comments
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com))


	13. Only Yuri can insult Victor

By the time Yuri returned to Saint Petersburg, he was exhausted. His flight had been delayed and then delayed again. There had been some sort of mechanical problem at his layover, so it was past 1 am before he was getting to baggage claim to grab his suitcase, and hoping it had made it to the airport with the all the issues. His skates were with him, those were in the skate bag he was pulling behind him. He was exhausted. He sent a message to Lilia that he was just going to stay the night at his own place so he didn't wake up anyone when he got home.

What Yuri did not expect to see was Victor at the baggage claim, already having retrieved the suitcase. In one hand the man had a cup of coffee and the other held a paper bag. As Yuri approached confused, both were offered to him and then he realized what was in the bag. "Oh, fuck, I could fucking kiss you right now, you amazing, amazing asshole." Pure gratitude was in every insult as he pulled the sandwich from the bag and took a big bite. He hadn't eaten in hours, and his fridge was still broken, so he'd already resigned himself to the thought of eating protein bars in his apartment. This was so much better. The juicy beef was still warm. He closed his eyes, taking another bite before even thinking of moving, "This is so good." He'd been starving, and a hungry Yuri was a cranky Yuri.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." Victor smiled, grabbing the skate bag as well as he let Yuri concentrate on the sandwich and the coffee. He'd had more than his own share of shitty flights. He knew how much they sucked. To see something so simple as a hot sandwich and a still warm cup of coffee make Yuri so happy was more than enough proof that coming here had been the right thing.

"Want to crash at your place for the night, my place, or the office?" Victor offered his place as if it were normal and not an apartment that Yuri hadn't even seen yet. Victor had only had the keys for two days.

"Your place?"

"I don't have actual furniture yet. I have a couch, the mattresses are delivered, but I do have food in the kitchen." Victor smiled a bit as he added, "I might even be willing to admit that it is actually leftovers from Lilia's because she's been cooking so much while missing you."

That got a laugh from Yuri, "Well, I don't think I can actually say no to actual food." He had demolished the sandwich as they walked. By the time they reached an unfamiliar car, Yuri was mostly done with the coffee too. "Uhh .. you got a car?"

"Yakov and Lilia needed his back, and with moving out it made sense." It did, it wasn't extravagant, but it was still much nicer than Yuri's.

Even with the coffee, he was yawning as he got into the car, realizing it wasn't waking him up, "Is this decaf?"

"Mmm hmm. Figured I was getting you straight to bed, so didn't want you to be too awake."

"It's a good thing you brought me food, I'll forgive you for the …." He had to pause mid-sentence to yawn again, " Decaf. I swear some warm food and I'm ready to sleep in the car even."

"You have your choice of sharing a mattress or the wonderful hide a bed couch. The person doing the design said the rest of the furniture will be in this week."

"You hired a designer?" Yuri was clearly not at all surprised.

"Well, all of us do not have the natural talent that you have in setting up an apartment." Victor was smirking as he said it.

"Shut up asshole, my apartment is amazing."

"It is -- if I need a dance studio. I have a working refrigerator and less dirty clothes on the bed."

"Yeah yeah." Yuri wasn't even bothering to keep his eyes opened right now as he let the warm seat and the comfortable car lull him into a nearly asleep state.

Maybe he drifted off, even if he did, he'd never admit it. He woke up though when Victor parked at his apartment building. It was beautiful, of course. It was Victor, no one for even a moment would think that he'd be renting an apartment at anyplace that was less than breathtaking.

Yuri let himself be led to the elevator, Victor insisting on being the one to take care of the bags. It was the fifth of five floors and a beautiful apartment. The building was old, but had been modernized with the elevator and so many other amenities, yet it retained its high ceilings of a bygone age. As Yuri walked in, he looked around, seeing all the boxes that were here from Japan -- and not yet opened. Maybe they had just gotten here, or maybe Victor hadn't been willing to open them yet. The furniture situation was sparse. There was a Television mounted on the wall and a couch in the living room -- more furniture and electronics would clearly be joining the room soon. The kitchen looked in better shape, and the new design of the place was an open floor plan, so he could easily see the kitchen from where he was standing. The hallway that led to the bedroom was off on the other end of the apartment, but what his eyes were drawn to was the huge windows and the french door on the far wall.

Ignoring everything else, Yuri walked over to look out the door, opening them up as soon as he saw that they led to a small balcony. The pale light in the distance as dark as the city got now at this time of the year. It was the beginning of the white nights and a time of year that Yuri absolutely loved. To see it from this balcony was even better. The view was over one of the many parks in the city, historical buildings everywhere to be seen. Yes, Yuri had no desire to know what the rent was here -- but it was absolutely beautiful.

As Yuri stood on the balcony taking in the view, Victor stood there watching Yuri. Even with how exhausted he was from the long flight, Victor couldn't stop noticing how every move he made was full of grace. 

"Do you want something to drink?" Honestly, Victor was pleased with how smooth the question sounded. He didn't feel calm or as if this was normal. But he felt he was managing to hide it rather well. He had Yuri in his apartment before anyone else had seen it -- before most people even knew he had the apartment. He had never tended to invite people into his private places, but clearly, Yuri was an exception.

"You offering to share your alcohol, old man?" Yuri turned to look at Victor, letting his back rest against the railing of the balcony as he just breathed deeply, letting his eyes close. The weather was beautiful today. The breeze from the ocean keeping the summer heat away, and everything lightly lit by the ever-present twilight.

"This is our tradition now, right?" Victor smiled as he walked forward, the confidence he exuded was fake and he knew Yuri knew it -- that didn't change that he was going to still fake it.

"Late nights at the airport?" Yuri was watching the older man now. He'd been brought here and not to his own apartment. Maybe he'd been listening too much to Christophe. Although who had more experience with how Victor felt than Christophe?

"And dancing and drinking?" Victor tilted his head as he watched Yuri's reaction, carefully trying to judge what he should do.

"All I remember is you watching me dance, your geriatric ass stayed on my bed." Yuri's lips moved into a ghost of a smile as he took a step forward and then turned so his back was to Victor, "But you saw the pictures of me dancing with Christophe's husband." Even as he said it, he let his body sway a little. A half step was taken back toward Victor as he felt the man's hands move to his hips. Maybe Christophe was right.

"Was it helpful, to practice your free skate program with someone's hands on you, whispering in your ear?" The rest of the distance was closed and the hoodie Yuri was wearing was pressed to Victor's shirt.

"Very." Yuri took a breath, leaning his head back and opening his lips -- but whatever he was about to say interrupted by the notifications on both of their phones suddenly going off.

For a moment Victor didn't move, his hands on Yuri's hips and his lips much too close to the man's neck, but nothing had happened yet. No lines had been crossed -- maybe the notifications from the phones were a sign that they shouldn't. He wanted to know. Instead, he took a step back to pull his phone from his pocket, seeing the movement mirrored by a much more grumpy looking Yuri.

"Oh for fuck's sake what did that asswipe say about me." As Yuri grumbled and started to read, his expression darkened.

Victor was just as quickly reading the article that had caused multiple people to alert both of them about it -- even if it was 2 AM in Saint Petersburg.

* * *

Kenjirou Minami, number one male skater in Japan, spotted at the Japanese Olympic Committee's main offices with his Coach Katsuki Yuuri.

> [Image of Minami and Yuuri standing right next to each other, Yuuri blushing and Minami waving excitedly]
> 
> According to Kenjirou Minami, he has absolute confidence in his coach and boyfriend Katsuki Yuuri being able to help him perform well at the upcoming 2022 Olympics.
> 
> When asked about his former coach Victor Nikiforov, Kenjirou Minami expressed he had no concerns about that.

> [Link to Video]
> 
> Minami was smiling, arm around Yuuri as a report off screen asked, "What skaters are you most keeping an eye on this year?"
> 
> "Oh, JJ from Canada, although I think he's going to be retiring soon. Also Seung Gil is a serious competitor. Leo in America of course. I'm not sure who else. I'm just really looking forward to competing this year with Yuuri!"
> 
> The reporter could be heard in the background again, "What about your former Coach Viktor Nikiforov? Do you feel losing his coaching will have a negative effect?"
> 
> "No, I am 1000% sure that Yuuri's coaching is what I need! This year is going to be great!"
> 
> "Do you have any concerns about Yuri Plisetsky's return under your former coach?"
> 
> Minami stopped, his head tilting as he looked confused, "Oh, I thought he was too injured. I'm not worried." The dismissive tone was probably not meant to be insulting, but the video clip ended there.
> 
> [ End of Video]

"That fucking asshole, I am going to kill him and slam his face into the ice until his fucking hair is colored by his own blood and is one damn color…" Yuri was practically growling the words out.

"Yura, it's OK. He's just one --"

"No, it is not okay! Did you hear how he talked about you? As if you didn't matter? You dropped everything in your life to go to Japan and be with the piggie and teach the fucking peacock's stupid ass. I am going to destroy them!" Yuri stormed across the apartment, grabbing his skate bag, then putting it down, then picking it up before looking at his suitcase, trying to figure out what he was going to do. He was vibrating in so much rage, that he didn't have any idea what to actually do about it.

"It doesn't matter what he says about you, you'll show him at your competition in a few months." Victor tried to keep his voice calm as he watched the clearly frustrated other man and knew Yuri was so close to doing something stupid.

"I don't give a shit what he says about me. He can't talk about you like that!" He threw his skate bag down again, eyes now wildly looking around the apartment.

"Yura, it's fine. I don't care what they say about me." He kept looking at the Yuri, watching how he paced and the rage in every movement.

"You came here and put helping Yakov and helping us over doing what you wanted and going someplace where you could train someone who would kill the competition this year. You did the good thing and he can't talk about you like that!" The frustration Yuri was clearly feeling ended in a whine.

"Yura …" Victor was walking towards him now. Uncertainty in every move, but he didn't care about the article or even about what Minami said -- maybe that Yuuri hadn't defended him at all, but the article hadn't been bad exactly.

"I need to post something! He talked shit about our program here and your coaching!"

"And about you and your coaching -- you're as much of a coach here as I am." Victor let his lower lip catch between his teeth, eyes on Yuri as he asked, "What do you want to post?"

"I know … I got it." He took threw his jacket to the side and handed Victor his phone. Then he stalked over to the balcony, barefoot before he lifted a leg as high as he could, pressing his ankle to the frame of the french doors so the beautiful still light sky would be the background. He then stretched as far as he could, making sure most of his tattoos were hidden, but he knew one or two would show -- the ones on his arms, not the worst ones. They'd probably be too hard to read in the photo as well - but they'd cause talk.

Victor knew exactly what he was supposed to do, so he took a few pictures, showing the impressive range of motion Yuri had. Once the pictures were taken, Yuri grabbed the phone and started to look them over.

Victor just watched as the picture was filtered and cropped a little and then posted. Seconds later, his phone chimed again.

> [Picture of Yuri, backlit enough by the light outside that the tattoos on his exposed arms were hard to see -- but a detail Victor had missed was very clear. The 'bitch' right above Yuri's right hip bone was perfectly legible. The skin had been exposed from the extent of the stretch.
> 
> Just got back from training with @Christophe-gc and @matsumi-gc, already @NikiforovSkating has me working off the airplane stiffness before practice in the morning. He better make me breakfast in the morning. #cantkeepmedown #injurywontstopme #thankful

Victor tilted his head as he looked at Yuri, uncertain what this was supposed to do. Then he his phone did a very distinctive beep it hadn't done in a while. Quickly Victor flipped to his text messages -- and yes it was from Yuuri.

> >> Is that your apartment Yuri is in?"

Victor was confused for a second, flipping back to the picture before he saw something in the picture he hadn't noticed before. His scarf, gloves, and jacket were all just barely visible on the arm of the couch on one side of the photo

"My things were in the photo." Victor tried not to sound worried, uncertain of what this would do for Yuri's social media presence.

"I know."

"It was intentional?" Victor moved to show Yuri the text from Yuuri.

"Very intentional, and perfect. Let him wonder. Don't reply for a little. Or let me reply." Yuri was smiling as he held out a hand for the phone.

Victor would be lying if he didn't say he was a little hesitant to hand his phone over to Yuri. He did it anyway.

With an evil smile on his face, Yuri started to type.

> << Yes. It's wonderful, so spacious. Yuri really likes the view. Still so much unpacking to do, but it was nice to see you and Minami looking well. I saw the video interview.

As Yuri typed it out, he said the words in his best imitation of Victor.

"He's going to think I got it for … oh … oh! …." Victor's eyes widened. "You are trying to make him jealous?"

"Mmm hmm, but with things he can't actually say a single bad word about."

The response from Yuuri was quick, which only made Yuri smile even more.

> >> Oh, I hadn't realized.

"Ohhhh check that out. That was so fast, and he even put a period at the end of it." Yuri was positively giddy now.

> << I hadn't told anyone about the apartment yet. Lilia and Yakov have been so kind in having me as their guest, but it was time to get an apartment.
> 
> << Once it's decorated, I will post pictures to social media. We should be going to bed though, it is very late and so many students to teach in the morning.
> 
> << I am glad to see you doing well, though.

"How is that old man?"

"You didn't say anything mean or impolite or … oh, oh! You …" Victor reread everything. "He's going to think we got an apartment."

"But I never said _we_ got an apartment. If he reads into it, that's on him. Nothing that was texted to him was impolite at all, and it was all true."

Then Victor's eyes widened as he repeated, "We should be going to bed … You said we."

"I did. He knows I am here from the photo. It wouldn't make any sense for me not to be spending the night. If he assumes it is in your bed instead of the couch, that is on him."

Victor just nodded as his phone was handed back. He'd have to mute his phone tonight. The notifications from the picture Yuri had posted were starting to build up. While most people didn't realize that Yuri and Victor were in the same apartment at this house, slowly people were figuring it out. He'd deal with the media fall out in the morning. "People are going to think we are dating."

"No, people are going to think you're sleeping with me."

Victor opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He just stood there looking at Yuri.

"People love rumors, you know it." There was a pause as Yuri figured out how to say what he was thinking, "Besides, with my new program people are going to make assumptions, so we might as well benefit from them as much as possible."

"But what if people think I came to Saint Petersburg just for sex?"

"Then people would think you got the better end of the deal than the piggie. Face it, I am way hotter than Minami." The smirk was unmistakable as Yuri took a step forward to whisper, "You should go to bed. We have a full day tomorrow and we have to make sure I kill my program when I debut it. All my paperwork is in, so we'll be hearing soon about everything."

"You're right." Victor should be going to bed. He shouldn't be thinking of doing anything else. Instead, he reached forward, a hand on Yuri's hip as he leaned in for a near chaste kiss against those warm lips. "Good night."

Before Yuri had time to react to the kiss, Victor had turned to walk to the bedroom, leaving Yuri to the pull-out couch. There was a pile of blankets and some pillows in a box right next to the couch, he knew Yuri would be fine for the night. He needed to get to his room and close the door before he made some sort of a bigger mistake.

Victor didn't see the stunned look on Yuri's face, or how he brought one hand to his lips, gently touching where Victor had kissed him -- both of them were completely sober. This was a kiss without any influence from alcohol. Yuri didn't know what to think, all he could do was go to sleep. He hadn't been lying when he had said they'd have an early morning.

* * *

When Victor's alarm went off, he turned it off before rolling onto his back. He sighed, still tired, but 5 AM was when he got up. He took his shower and was dressed before thinking that he should check on Yuri. Grabbing his phone, he paused, seeing the LED signally he had a message. Checking his hair one last night, he looked at the message.

> >> Are you sleeping with Yuri? He's only like twenty!

Anything even resembling a good mood that Victor had had disappeared as he looked at the message.

> << First, he is twenty-one.

He wasn't expecting an answer for a while. Yuri never replied quickly. This time though, things were very different.

> >> That's basically the same thing. You are thirty-three. He is twelve years younger than you!
> 
> << If I was sleeping with him, it wouldn't be your place to question it.
> 
> >> He's my friend too
> 
> << No, neither of us were anything but horrible at being his friend, Yuuri, and you know that. When did you last talk to him? Did you know he hadn't even texted Yuuko after his accident? Did you know what he even did to himself in his accident?
> 
> >> I was busy with you.

Victor shook his head, frowning more as he walked out to the main room.

> << We were both horrible friends. What the counselor said was right. I am too self-absorbed and I actively ignore or run away from anything that I don't want to acknowledge. I am working on changing that now.
> 
> << I don't owe you this explanation.

Victor snapped a picture of Yuri sound asleep on his couch, one arm over his face, a foot hanging off the pull-out mattress, but very very clearly the pull-out bed on the couch. As he sent it to his ex-husband, he frowned even more.

> << I've already hurt him enough. I don't want to hurt him more than I already have.

Victor shoved the phone into his pocket, ignoring any more messages. "Yura! Morning! I was going to cook, but all I have is eggs, is that fine?"

With a mumbling moan, Yuri rolled over and tried to hide under his blankets. "Yeah yeah, whatever, old man." He was slowly getting up.

As Yuri started to move, Victor started to fry up eggs, seeing if he had anything else breakfast, but all he had was some bread so eggs and toast it was. He didn't have everything to make anything more complicated -- it was better than what he knew Yuri normally ate for breakfast when he wasn't at Lilias -- but it wasn't hard to be better than yet another protein bar. 

Yuri pulled on clean clothes from his bag, dragging himself to the breakfast bar in the modern kitchen so he could sit down in front of his plate. Without a word beyond a mumbled thanks, he started to down the food -- he hadn't really eaten much yesterday, not with all the time on the planes. The most solid food he had had yesterday was the sandwich Victor had brought him.

"Yuuri was upset with me this morning."

"What did you do this time?" Yuri didn't even look up, sopping up egg yolk with the toast.

"He thought I was having sex with you." Victor looked down at the eggs as he said it.

"What business is it of his? He's probably fucking the hyper freak." As coffee was set down next to him, Yuri grabbed the cup, "Oh fuck, thank you. I need this." Without Lilia there, he dumped a few spoons of sugar in.

"He expressed concern about your age."

"I'm an adult. Fuck, this is good." Yuri's eyes were closed as he just sipped the coffee.

"I'm glad you like it, I told him I wasn't in a relationship with you."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "I should text him a nude and tell him I haven't been laid in over a year."

Victor stopped dead as he looked at Yuri. His mouth slightly open and not able to hide the shock at all. He didn't even say anything, too surprised by the revelation to even tease. Instead, he moved to get a cup of coffee for himself.

"I have to look better than Minami, I mean -- I just -- how could…" 

As Yuri was lost for words to describe what he thought of Minami sexually, Victor felt a cold chill go down his spine, "Yura, I really don't want to think about …" He sighed, looking at his hands as they held the coffee.

"I'm sorry. This -- this is shit for you and I am not making it easier. I won't mention it again."

"It's OK. We need to get to the rink though." Victor was ignoring how he felt, not only about Minami, but also about Yuuri. Even after the months here and all the months in Japan where he and Yuuri hadn't even been on speaking terms, he still missed his husband -- ex-husband.

Without a word, Yuri threw his dishes into the dishwasher, grabbed a bottle of water and then his stuff -- waiting for Victor. Not even a kiss. Victor sighed, ignoring his phone as well. So much stuff was being ignored, but that was what Victor was good at. Ignoring and running. He needed out of his apartment right now. He needed away from memories and even Yuri right now -- he'd ignore it, going to the rink and working with his students. He needed to shove his feelings down. Another day of training would be followed by another and another. Victor could get used to this -- eventually, people stopped asking him about Yuuri -- and about Yuri.

Victor could get used to people forgetting he existed. It was nice. The hours were long, but rewarding. Their juniors were coming along so well. Yuri was getting healthier and healthier. It was good. Yuri's programs though, those were amazing. Victor had always thought that of Yuri's programs though.

* * *

Yuri was throwing himself into his program, fully understanding that the night at Victor's had been a very clear indication that the other man did not want anything. They didn't need to say it. Yuri wasn't going to go begging to Victor, kneeling at his feet for some shred of attention. No, Yuri was better than that. That night had been enough indication that Victor saw Yuri as a skater and nothing more. Yuri didn't need Victor. Yuri didn't need anyone,

Instead, he threw himself into training harder and harder. He was not going to disappoint anyone. He was not going to embarrass anyone -- especially Lilia and Yakov. He was not going to squander this last opportunity his body was giving him at competing -- and Yuri knew that one more serious injury and it was over for him. There would be no coming back from that -- ever. This was his year to show everyone what he could do.

He would never tell Victor, but the reason he was so focused on Russian nationals was that the team for Russia was always determined from Nationals. While competing at worlds would be amazing -- he wanted another shot at the Olympics. Triples would not get him where he needed to be. He needed to do more, jump higher and harder.

He threw himself into his physical therapy. Every exercise to not only increase the strength in his ankle and knee, but the rest of his body too. Every day was exercises and stretching. Flexibility and strength. Even the days he wasn't on the ice, he still was doing the exercises from the physical therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are love :)
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both always open for questions and comments
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com))


	14. A night out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a house guest coming in a few days for the convention I go to the following weekend, so my updates might be a little hectic. I'll try to keep people updated on either twitter (most likely) or Tumbr (if I am organized -- highly unlikely)
> 
> I also have a few challenges and a zine coming up.
> 
> Good news, after this update, I still have a 17K word cushion where I've written ahead. I really want to finish writing this by the beginning of March so hoping to have it all posted not TOOO long after that :)

All too soon the day Yuri always took Lilia to the ballet arrived. This year it was Paquitta. A beautiful box seat, of course, it was Lilia Baranovskaya at the Mariinsky and they always made sure the Prima was well treated. This year, their group was increased by one once more. Yuri had been annoyed enough when his nights out with Lilia had begun to include Yakov. He couldn't be upset she wished to bring her husband with her. At one point though, this had been just their event. Then again, he was Yuri Plisetsky and he was upset that her husband had started to come with. It wasn't even as if Yakov even liked the ballet -- and neither did Victor, so Yuri's annoyance was even greater.

Years ago, he had been the one to hold Lilia's arm and escort her into the Theater as the photographers snapped pictures of the famous dancer and her young escort. This was even the one night he never said a bad word about the suit. This was Lilia's night. Tonight though, he wasn't even the one holding onto Lilia's arm. Instead of being with Lilia, she was walking with Yakov -- the man now recovered enough to only need the cane. Yuri trailed behind the two, trying not to look over to his own side. He had been avoiding Victor when they were not at the rink to the very best of his abilities. He had to put the man out of his mind, and that seemed to be the best way. This, however, this was the worst way. Victor's suit was impeccable, and the man had always been such a clothes horse -- anything the man wore looked amazing. He could easily have been a model if he hadn't become a professional skater.

Victor knew that Yuri was ignoring him. He didn't know why. He understood though that Yuri wanted nothing to do with him outside of the rink. Now that Victor was moved out of LIlia's it was as if a switch had been flipped. Whatever friendship he had been forming with Yuri seemed to have gone cold, the distance greater than ever -- but for work, for work they had been perfectly behaved together.

In another month, they would have their first Junior competition, the first traveling for skating -- and unfortunately, there was a chance they'd start running into Yuuri.

By the time they reached their seats, Yuri was so tense. His suit was white whereas Victor's was a deep, deep grey. Yakov's was black -- and through some miracle it had been made after the fall of the soviet union. Lilia had essentially tricked him into getting measured for it, but still, it looked nice enough. Lilia was perfectly put together of course, but no one expected anything different.

As soon as they reached their seats, Yuri was making sure that both Yakov and Lilia were comfortable, it was then that he realized his mistake. He had meant to make sure that Lilia and Yakov were in the middle of their seats so that Victor could sit next to Yakov while he kept his normal seat next to Lilia. Instead, Yuri would be between Lilia and Victor. There was nothing to be done about it now. He would only seem like an irrational asshole if he tried to get Yakov to move.

Taking off his suit coat, Yuri sat down, the white pants and black shirt a little 'edgy' for this event, but his hair was braided back by Lilia, her perfect dancer next to him as he so often was. He almost jumped when he felt Victor move up next to him, "Would you like something to drink?"

Yuri should have been embarrassed about how quickly he agreed to that, but he wasn't. While Yuri took care of Lilia and Yakov, Victor obtained wine and soon they all had glasses as they waited for the performance to begin.

Lilia sipped her wine, whispering to Yuri, "I never did like this ballet."

"Oh shush, that is just because the director was blind and did not give you the lead when you auditioned that one time." Yuri relaxed as he smiled, his normal back and forth with Lilia still so natural to him.

"No no, the ending is just …" She shrugged as she let her lips curl into a hint of a smile, sipping the wine.

"Oh? Yes. I know, a true tragedy." Yuri seemed serious as he said it, the hint of a smirk the only indication it was a tease.

"Tragedy?" Victor leaned forward, looking towards Lilia and Yuri in confusion, "I thought this one had a happy ending?"

"Exactly, Vitya." The tease was clear in Yuri's tone as he said it. "A tragedy. This is the white nights, we should be watching death on stage -- it is tradition."

"Tradition?"

"You should have seen the reviews for when Lilia was starring in Giselle."

"Doesn't the lead woman die in that one?"

Lilia laughed, her voice full of memories, "Oh, but my dear Yurouchka says I die so beautifully on stage." She kept smiling as Yuri as she reached out to hold the young man's hand.

"You know that is true. Now you are just fishing for compliments. You are well educated, you read the same reviews that I did." There was a comfortable tease to Yuri's voice as he said it. The lights started to dim and Yuri leaned back in his chair, his fingers still resting on Lilia's lower arm. He adored the woman. Everyone knew that.

The ballet was beautiful. Victor found himself distracted as he heard a soft gasp next to him. He knew that Yuri knew the ballet. Yuri had near encyclopedic knowledge of ballet and opera, especially anything that was performed in this building. Victor had been around as music for programs was decided, and he knew how Yuri could suggest and modify for any type of performance a skater wanted to do -- within reason. It was tradition that juniors skated to the classics in Saint Petersburg. Seniors could show their individuality, but juniors were restricted to pieces that judges would not hate. Modern music was always such a risk, and one Yakov had never been willing to take with juniors. Seniors would learn from a bad experience. Juniors and younger needed more protection and control.

Even with how well Victor knew that Yuri knew this piece, he couldn't stop watching the younger man. Yuri was enthralled by the performance, eyes focused on the movement as he watched the dancers move from piece to piece, his lip caught between his teeth in a particularly difficult movement until the leads managed to navigate the complex dance perfectly.

Yuri watching ballet was so much more interesting that Victor had thought it would be. There was no boredom. At no point did it seem Yuri even thought of his phone. Until the intermission, Yuri was enthralled. No, Victor was wrong. Lilia and Yuri were both enthralled. Yakov had fallen asleep, but Yuri and Lilia were focused on observing with an intensity that Victor had only seen from Yuri when he was watching a particularly challenging skate performance.

At the intermission, Yuri took care of making sure Lilia and was fine, Yakov was left to nap. Neither of them seemed surprised the man was asleep. Victor decided he needed more wine, actually that they all needed more wine.

By the end of the performance, Victor was feeling very relaxed. The ballet had been beautiful, but it was the Mariinsky, anything less would be a scandal. They waited for a little in order to let some of the crowd dispurse before the four of them made their way to the exit. Once again, Lilia's hands were on Yakov's arm, but Yuri stayed close. The wine had taken away some of the sharp edges from how Victor felt. He could tell Yuri had drunk a little too much, his feet just a little less sure than normal.

Then, as they reached the car that Yuri had called for them, Lilia paused to look at Yuri. "Yurouchka, you should stay out. You and Vitya should stay for the fireworks."

"I don't mind going home…" Yuri turned to look at Victor even as he said it, his eyes dropping as he wasn't sure what to say.

Victor looked to him, thinking for a moment before looking back to Lilia and seeing the urging from her. "It had been years since I have seen them, Yura."

With a sigh, Yuri looked back to Victor, seeing how amazing the man looked in the suit. He had aged so well. The same aristocratic lines as when he had been at the top of his skating career. The long hours on the ice since arriving had only helped sculpt Victor into something closer to his competition body than the coaching body he had developed in Japan -- not that Victor had ever let himself go. The hours on the ice though did things to muscles that few other activities could.

Yuri knew he was going to say yes -- there was no point in not admitting it. He was going to spend the night with Victor. "Fine, but we are going to get a different car to get closer to the bridge. It is only proper that you see this properly your first year back."

Victor nodded, agreeing -- his first year back. His first year back of many.

It took a little time and effort, but soon, Lilia and Yakov were on their way back to the house and Yuri and Victor were moving in the other direction. Soon they were walking through the crowds towards the water. It felt as if everyone in the city were outside today. The streets were packed, but it was worth it. The bright night allowed a perfect view of the boats on the water -- and there she was. The most beautiful of the boats with her scarlet red sails, moving along the canal. Yuri never tired of this.

Then the fireworks and the wine was fully hitting Yuri as he felt himself relax there, next to Victor as they both stared up into the sky. Tonight was beautiful. That didn't change that they had to work in the morning. Tonight though was beautiful.

"I had missed this so much." Victor's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I could never leave. I ... I love this place too much." Yuri kept looking up at the explosions in the sky. It was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Victor was drawn to the reflected colors in Yuri's eyes. The man was so beautiful. Victor could feel his heart starting to race at how they stood so close in this press of the crowd. Then Yuri's side bumped against him and Victor couldn't think anymore. He had ruined all of his chances though, he knew it. After the fireworks, he saw Yuri yawn. "We should get you back. It's late."

"It is. There is no chance to get a car here." There were too many people, they'd have to walk blocks before things were calm enough that they'd be able to even try to get a car that would come to them.

It was worse than Victor had thought and it was 1 AM before they could get a car. "Do you want to just come to my place and we'll swing by yours in the morning to grab your stuff?"

"I am not sleeping in a suit."

"Oh shush, you know I have clothes you can borrow."

Rolling his eyes, Yuri laughed, "Sure. Although no pictures this time. I don't want all my friends pissed off and making sure I'm not sleeping with you, old man. Not that it's any of their business if I was."

"Oh, I know. I do not know how many people texted me last time. Not as upset as Yuuri though."

"He has less right than anyone else to say anything." Yuri was clearly only half awake as they walked from the car to make their way up to Victor's apartment. "He had you and then he threw you away."

"I wouldn't say threw away…"

"Shut it. You may be a piece of trash, but you were his piece of trash." Yuri needed the wall to support him as he waited for Victor to finally get the door unlocked. Between wine and exhaustion, Yuri was barely able to walk.

"Trash?" Victor reached out to guide Yuri into the room and make sure he didn't fall over as he kicked off his dress shoes.

"You know you are, such a pretty piece of trash." Yuri had to catch himself from falling over.

"You need to lie down." There was a softness now to Victor's voice. Maybe it was still an insult, but Yuri had called him pretty -- well, sort of.

"No, don't make me lie down. I -- Vitya, I can't sleep. I feel … I don't want to be alone." The younger man's voice was barely above a whine as he fell against Victor's chest.

"Why not? I even have an actual guest room, you don't even have to sleep on the couch."

"I don't want to sleep alone, I'm always alone. Everyone else doesn't have to be alone and I -- I don't want to be alone." 

"You're drunk."

"Don't abandon me again?" The fear in Yuri's voice couldn't be hidden and it broke Victor's heart. 

"Yura…"

"Everyone leaves me." Yuri should have thought this through. He was always such a sad and melodramatic drunk when he drank wine.

Victor stopped, the pain in Yuri's face sobering him from the wine he had drunk. Maybe Yuri just never handled his wine well, the young man clearly intoxicated -- or maybe it was something else. "I won't leave you tonight."

"I know you won't stay." Yuri was leaning into him heavily now as Victor led him into the main bedroom. The view from the window here was just as beautiful as the living room.

"I'll stay tonight. I promise. I -- guess that doesn't mean much." Sighing, Victor started to strip Yuri, making sure the man stayed on the edge of the bed. A suit was a horrible thing to fall asleep in, he knew that from too many mistakes. Even if a pair of his sleep pants were loose and long on Yuri, they were better than nothing and soon Victor had him tucked into bed. Only then did he change into his own sleeping clothes. He hadn't bothered with a shirt for Yuri, not wanting to deal with that hassle and knowing Yuri only slept in pants -- well when Victor saw him sleep. For all Victor actually knew, Yuri could have slept in much less normally.

Once he was in sleeping pants and a T-shirt, Victor left Yuri long enough to get ready for bed and grab painkillers and water, giving the younger man the same kindness that he himself had received when their situations were reversed. Maybe Yuri wouldn't be hung over in the morning though. He'd seen the man drink much more and be fine.

When Victor made his way back to the bedroom, Yuri wasn't asleep. Instead, his phone was in his hand and he was scrolling through something, his pale face lit only by the blue-tinted light of the phone's screen. "Yura?"

"My x-rays leaked…" It was pure hopelessness in his voice as those blue-green eyes looked up from the phone to find Victor. "Everyone can see them…"

"They're just X-rays. It's OK, Yura. Everyone knew you broke your ankle." Victor moved to the side of the bed, sitting down to place his hand on Yuri's shoulder. He knew how bad those x-rays looked, before the surgery and the reconstruction. When he had finally seen them, they had been so much worse than he had imageined as well. For Yuri to compete though, they had to be turned into the FFKK and that had to be where the leak came from.

"They're saying there is no way I can make a comeback and you are a fool for trying." Doubt, it was so rare for Yuri to let that emotion tint his words, but the wine and the news combined to make the doubt so very clear.

"Yura, they don't know how you've recovered. They don't know how well your surgeries went. They don't know how strong you are and how determined." Victor took a hold of the phone to look. It was exactly the pictures he had thought they would be. The shattered bones so clear. Anyone would have said there was no coming back from that. Had Yuri not been as young as he had been and as healthy -- it would have been the end. With the best surgeons and so much work, Victor knew Yuri was doing the near impossible.

"They're tearing you apart, Victor!" The more familiar form of his name dropped as Yuri let his frustration at that out. "They're calling you a fool and an idiot. They are saying everything good that came out of Hasetsu was Yuuri and not you. They're idiots!" Yuri struggled to sit up, reaching out to grab Victor's shoulder. "I know your jumps. I know your programs. I know how much of that was you."

"It was as much Yuuri as it was me." Pain. It was true though. He and Yuuri had been a team. Their partnership on the ice so much stronger and more equal than their partnership off the ice.

"I know that! Of course it was, but it was you too. Minami's flip jump, that's you. That jump is all you. From the approach to the leg position to the landing -- it is you. The choreography? Yes, some of it was him, but almost all of it was you and what wasn't was your student's. It was your choreography and they don't see that." Both hands now on Victor's shoulders, Yuri was unable to hide his rage.

"It doesn't matter what they think, Yura. It doesn't matter. I'm here now. This is my home, and you and Yakov …" Victor paused. He was never going to leave here. Yuri wasn't mad about what they said about his ankle and come back, all the pain and anger was for what they were saying about -- "You care more about what they say about me than what they say about you?"

"I don't give a shit what they say about me. They -- you came here. You came here for Yakov. You deserve better." Yuri took a deep breath as he realized how close he was to Victor. "I'm drunk…"

"I know, but I don't think you're that drunk, Yura?" Victor tilted his head as he watched the younger man. "I might have come back for him, Yura. You stayed here for him, for them, for everyone. You -- you never left any of them. You stayed here and you … you never lost faith." He shook his head as he pulled Yuri's phone from his hand, setting it onto the charging pad again. Both phones were next to each other now, resting on the nightstand.

"But you came back, Vitya …" Then his eyes dropped as he whispered, "For him." The alcohol made it too hard to hide any disappointment.

"I did." Victor's hand moved to Yuri's face, brushing the hair back from the man's face as he looked at him even more carefully. "And I hurt you again, didn't I?"

Yuri wouldn't say yes, and he couldn't lie and say no, so all he did was drop his eyes, not answering.

"What do you want?" The question was so quiet as he ran his hand along Yuri's temple.

Yuri kept his eyes down as he whispered, "I'll prove them wrong. Victor, I'm going to prove them wrong. You didn't come here because you are a failure. You came here because we needed you. You are the best, the best we couldn't even have hoped for, but you came here for Yakov anyways. They have to see, they have to know …"

Victor shook his head, Yuri wasn't saying what he wanted, but maybe that was just another piece of cruelty. How many times was he going to hurt Yuri? He knew what Yuri wanted, he didn't need to force the man to say the words. It was just cruelty to make him say the words for no reason other than ego.

Victor leaned in, his lips stopping the rambling response Yuri had been giving him. Just a chaste kiss as he let himself kiss the man, brushing lips over his. He leaned back, his hand still barely touching Yuri's hair. "Yes?"

Yuri nodded, looking up at Victor as he whispered, "I'm drunk."

"Not that drunk."

"Drunk enough to do this." Yuri's arm reached out, closing his eyes as he leaned into the man to kiss him again, this time deeper, his tongue pressing, asking for entrance.

Victor let his lips part, feeling the warm press of Yuri's tongue as the kiss was deepened, as he moved closer to the man. He wasn't thinking of the words that covered his body, the reminders of his failures and the hatred he faced. "Sober enough to do this, Yura. Sober enough."

"I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, well … I'm a bigger one." Victor pulled him closer, lying down in the bed with him, surrounded by the warm blankets. His arms wrapping around that lithe torso. Every muscle on the man was perfect. Every inch an expertly sculpted dancer playing the part of a skater.

Yuri didn't put up any resistance, instead, he let himself just be pushed back down onto the bed. "Vitya … you're beautiful."

"I'm beautiful?" He was leaning now on Yuri, looking down into those amazing eyes.

"Mmm hmmm." Even as he tried to respond, it was clear that Yuri was exhausted, relaxing into the bed.

"Sleep." He leaned forward as he brushed his lips across Yuri's again, pulling up the blanket to hold the other man close. No, tonight Yuri would not be alone.

"Don't leave me?" He tried to bring up an arm to wrap around Victor, trying to hold the man there even if he was almost too exhausted to move.

"Promise." Then he let himself relax, his head on the pillow as he pulled Yuri closer. He felt how the man curled up against him, how he eventually relaxed and how his breathing settled -- he had no idea what he was in for, but maybe this was going to be a good thing. He let his eyes close, enjoying this feeling for the night. Even if it was gone in the morning, he still had had tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are love :) Honestly, they are what keeps me going.
> 
> My twitter and tumblr are both always open for questions and comments
> 
> my twitter ([scribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)) or my Tumblr ([scribbles in the margins](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com)


	15. But I want him ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this update is a tad longer than the others, but I wanted to get this part out. 
> 
> I love hearing from people like it's the reason I love writing. So there are all the links to my social media at the end of this chapter.

Curtains. Victor was going to buy curtains as soon as possible. He pulled an arm up over his eyes, trying to block the ray of sunlight that had decided to pierce through the stereotypical greyness of the city and this horrible hour of the morning. He assumed it was morning. His phone was still changing and quiet, but this wasn't like every other morning. This morning, Victor woke up with the comforting weight of another person on his chest.

Yuri was soundly sleeping, his face pressed into Victor's chest. Yuri's breathing was even and calm, an arm stretched out, but the other tucked to Victor's side as the man slept. 

The sun striking Yuri's hair radiated the appearance of spun gold, and Victor couldn't deny he loved how that looked. Slowly he reached up to stroke his fingers through Yuri's hair as the other man slept. So beautiful, so warm -- and so -- no, not his. This had been alcohol again. Nothing had happened, nothing more than last time at least. Kissing, just kissing.

Sighing, Victor gave himself this time, these moments when he should be sleeping. He could feel how relaxed Yuri was. He let his eyes close, just enjoying, the feel of Yuri's skin under his fingers as he trailed a hand along that bare back. He was so different from the teen that Victor remembered from his time here. Yes, still similar in so many ways, but the years had changed him, matured and hardened -- or maybe that wasn't the years rather how Yuri had been hurt. So much responsibility had been thrust onto the young man's shoulders, shoulders that now Victor could touch, could hold, could feel pressed to his chest.

All too soon, Victor's phone alarm chimed. Before he could silence it, Yuri was moving, trying to get up even if it wasn't his phone alarm that was sounding.

While Victor turned off his alarm, Yuri opened his eyes, lifting himself slightly from Victor's chest as the young man winced. "My head…"

"I didn't think you drank that much yesterday." Victor didn't say anything about how they were in bed together.

"Wine, it just -- I'll be fine, I just need some --" Then Yuri saw the water and the bottle of pain medicine and he was sitting up, taking some of the pills and downing them with the water.

"I should make sure you don't drink wine, I take it?" There was a tease to Victor's voice, but concern as well. 

"Don't start with me yet, I need to get rid of this headache." Yuri held up one hand, and then, Yuri was looking at Victor, his eyes wider. "We didn't…"

"Nothing happened, just you didn't want to sleep alone and there was a little kissing. Nothing more, Yura." The smile on Victor's face didn't reach his eyes in any way.

"Nothing happened…" Those beautiful eyes closed as Yuri sat there for a moment before grabbing his phone. "I'm going to grab a shower, see if that helps."

"Of course." Victor watched as Yuri walked away. As soon as the bedroom door was closed, Victor leaned back in his bed, looking up at the ceiling. This wasn't good. This was very, very not good. He knew he wanted to follow Yuri into that shower. He knew he wanted to do things to Yuri -- and he wasn't sure that that was not also what Yuri wanted.

Getting involved would be such a bad idea. If it was just sex -- no, there wasn't even any reason to think about that. It would never be just sex with Yuri. They had too much history. They had too much pain and understanding, too much time in each other's orbits. Competition, it was the backbone of everything that they had ever done.

Victor stood up. There was no sense in getting dressed yet. Yuri was hung over, and they had some time before they had to be at the rink. Instead, he found himself in the kitchen, cutting fruit first to put that on the table, and then moving on to vegetables and eggs. No, the omelets did not turn out well, but Victor had never had the best culinary skills, and all one had to do with a failed omelet was mess it up even more and it would look like it was intentional.

By the time Yuri approached, his dress pants and button-up had been thrown back on, but he looked a wreck, an incredibly hot wreck. His wet hair was thrown up in a messy bun, tendrils of blond hair had escaped the elastic. The redness of his eyes and the slowness of his movement made the hangover abundantly clear.

As soon as Yuri sat at the small table, Victor had breakfast set in front of him. "Try to eat, Yura. You can sleep in the office at the rink until you're feeling better."

"You're being nice."

"I am trying to." Victor sat across from Yuri, tasting the egg concoction he had made, and rather pleased that yes, it did taste good. 

Yuri was eating, barely registering the food, but his stomach was not upset. All he had for a hangover appeared to be the headache. "Why are you being nice?"

"Because … why wouldn't I be nice to you?"

A quick shake of his head and Yuri sighed, "You do not want me to answer that."

"I've made mistakes. I'm sorry about them. I -- " Maybe it was rash. Maybe it was stupid. No, not maybe, Victor was positive that it was rash, stupid, foolish and a million other words he didn't have time to think of because he found himself moving to Yuri's side, taking hold of his shoulder and leaning in to kiss Yuri again -- sober. 

The kiss was fast, desperate to determine if it was reciprocated. Almost as fast as it started, Victor was pulling back to apologize. Before he could though, arms were around his neck and his lips were being crushed. Breakfast was forgotten and he suddenly had Yuri in his arms, and the younger man's grip on him was firm, pulling him into a rough kiss. Teeth hitting each other before Yuri yielded, allowing Victor to take control of the kiss.

Standing next to the table, Yuri finally pulled back. His lips swollen and breathing rough as he tried to catch his breath. "You kissed me."

"I did." Victor didn't deny it, instead, he leaned in to do it again.

"We need to get to the rink." He wished he had said something different, or done something different. Instead, he looked to his breakfast, frowning as he let out a deep sigh.

"What do you want?" Victor walked to him again, "Yura tell me what you want."

"I don't know." It hurt to say the truth like that. What did he want? He wanted -- fewer lies. He wanted so many fewer lies. He wanted his mother to have not lied, for his grandfather to have not lied, for -- for Victor to have not lied. He couldn't have that though. Instead, he let his eyes drop

"I'm sorry …" Victor looked up at the ceiling for a moment, but then leaned down and softly kissed the top of Yuri's head. "I'll be here when you do know." He walked away. Yuri was right. They had to be at work soon, and this wasn't going to be figured out before then. He'd get a shower and get ready. It wouldn't do to show up at the rink looking as if he was not put together as usual.

By the time Victor walked out of the bathroom, dressed for work, Yuri had eaten and was waiting by the door, leaning against the couch as he scrolled through his phone, the same sour look he normally wore. Another day at the rink, another day of training, another day of not knowing what he could do to help Yuri.

* * *

It took three days for Yuri to admit he was in over his head. Three days of avoiding Victor, avoiding how he made him feel, avoiding that he remembered every moment of kissing him. They had four weeks until the first trip with the juniors to competition. The programs were finished, the final touches being put on the programs. Things at the rink were so busy, but Yuri had said he needed to go at a decent hour that day.

He needed to get home early enough for it to still be a decent hour in Kazakhstan. He'd texted Otabek that he was going to call. He knew he needed more than texting, he knew he needed more than voice, he needed an outside perspective from the only person who was an expert on how to deal with Yuri in love, and Yuri was certain that he was.

Sitting on the bed, still in his practice clothes, Yuri pulled out his laptop to open a Skype session.

"Hey, Yura. Was just expecting a phone call." Otabek had accepted the chat request anyways. He was just wearing an old T-shirt and some sleeping pants, the sun had long set there and it was dark in Otabek's apartment. Yuri had been there more than a few times. He'd even been there when Otabek had needed some help moving in.

"I -- thought it would be better to have visual." He shifted on his bed as he talked, finding it surprisingly hard to look at his friend.

"Yura? What's wrong. Is Yakov worse? Do you need me to come up there? I can grab a plane?" The concern was instant when he saw Yuri looking anxious.

"No .. no, it's not that. I need your opinion, your honest opinion on things." Yuri sighed, closing his eyes as he sat there.

"I know your ankle x-rays were leaked. That has nothing to do with what you should do with your skating … this isn't about your skating." The concern in Otabek's voice was suddenly very clear. "What happened? Who … who happened?" Suddenly those brown eyes were focused so intently. "I can fly up. There's an 8 AM flight, it normally has seats." He'd taken that flight so many times. "I'll be there before lunch."

"No, Beka, you don't have to. I'm serious, I just … It's Victor." Yuri shook his head as he looked at him.

"What did he do …" Then the realization hit. "Yura? It's Victor? You … what did you do?" The sigh was so much too clear.

"When he came back from Japan …"

"That was a while ago, wasn't it? 

"Yeah …" With a sigh, he flopped back onto his bed, knowing that made it harder for Otabek to see him, but he needed that at the moment. "I picked him up from the airport, it was late, we were both tired -- so I brought him here."

"You brought him to your apartment?" It was clear Otabek wanted to tell him he was an idiot, but he wasn't telling him that. He knew Yuri didn't need to hear that.

"Yeah, I know. I know. I -- was drinking and he was all sad, and -- he was was Beka. I just, I don't know, we started fighting, I started dancing -- and then I was kissing him. It was so good. It was amazing. His arms and his body and his lips, I just --"

"So you kissed him? nothing more?"

"Oh fuck, Beka. Kissed him doesn't begin. I would have let him do anything to me that night, and I mean anything." He sat back up, letting Beka see how much saying that hurt.

"Yura, you know -- you two both …" Otabek took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. "The two of you would fight over who got which life jacket if you were on a sinking ship with fifty life jackets because you would want whichever one he picked."

"I know, I know, I fight with him all day, every day except when we don't and when we aren't fighting … fuck, Beka."

"What happened after you kissed him?"

"He was all we can't do this, so I got really drunk and passed out in bed and when we woke up in the morning we both decided to act like it had never happened." With a slight nod, Yuri waited for the approval from Otabek at that thought.

There was no approval on the other man's face. "You what? You two idiots … Yura, I love you. You are my best friend in this whole world and you know that, but ---" He sighed, looking up at the ceiling again. How did he even begin to explain how stupid that was.

"Well, yeah. Then I kind of sent him a partially naked picture when I was in Switzerland at Christophe's."

"Partially?"

Yuri didn't bother to try to explain, instead, he grabbed his phone to send it to Otabek. As soon as it was sent, Yuri just waited, knowing in a few seconds the other man's phone would beep.

"Seriously?" It only took a few moments for the response. "That is a fly to Switzerland and fuck me picture."

"No, it's a … ummm, it's …" Then Yuri realized that he had no rational reason for having sent that to Victor.

"Your pants are shoved down, you're licking your lips, you're in bed -- I mean, that's not subtle."

"Well, Victor didn't do anything." He hated feeling like this. It was bad enough that he was so confused about what to do about Victor. The fact he was getting upset at Otabek only made him more upset. He hated fighting with his friend. He hated it when he felt stupid -- and so many of his feeling stupid moments were with Otabek. The other man one of the few who did not back down from his anger and made him face his mistakes.

"What happened? Switzerland was a while ago too, what happened that you're finally talking to me today?"

"A few days ago, Victor and I went with Lilia and Yakov to the White Nights festival."

"And?"

"And I got a little drunk and we stayed out late watching the fireworks and it was so romantic and then we were at his apartment and kissing." Yuri dropped his eyes.

"Drunk kissing again, maybe -- maybe you shouldn't drink around Victor?" Otabek was trying to not sound like he thought Yuri was being stupid -- but he knew how Yuri was.

"It was in the morning. We were both sober."

"Oh …" The silence was clear. Otabek had to think of what to say, what advice to give. Honestly, he didn't know Victor hardly at all. He had heard Yuri complain about him more than enough. Of course, he had talked to Victor and seen him at competitions, but he had never spent any actual time with Victor. He had no idea what the man's intentions would be with Yuri.

Yuri sighed at that, "I know, it wasn't smart. It was .. I just -- he made breakfast for me. The, Beka I don't know what I should do." And that was why he called. He needed another opinion. Mila would tease but Beka would do everything he could to help Yuri, and he knew it.

"First, do you think it is smart to get involved with your coach."

"Not at all. It's worse than that, we need him. If we did get involved and then things went bad -- I'm putting everything Yakov worked so hard for at risk." Yuri hated to admit it, but they needed VIctor. They needed Victor much more than Yuri needed Victor.

"So you think he'd run if things went bad?"

"Maybe. I don't know. He's changed some, he -- Yakov was right to call him. The relationship between those two is so much stronger than I thought it was." Frowning, Yuri got up and started to strip to get dressed for bed. He had an early morning as always. He had no shyness about changing in front of Otabek.

"You know I have to tell you to back off, to leave him alone, to put space between you two? His divorce was just finalized. Honestly, I think he needs room to be Victor and not Katsuki's husband for a little."

"You're probably not wrong. I just -- No, you're right. I want him. I don't need him. Yakov needs him. We need him to coach." Wearing just a pair of loose shorts, Yuri sat back on the bed. "OK, No more kissing, no more flirting, no more dates."

"Dates?"

"I mean, they weren't real dates…."

"I need to get some rest, you know what you need to do. If you need me to come there, just tell me and I'll just grab a plane and be up there as fast as I can."

This time there was a smile, "Thank you Beka, You -- you're … I don't know what I would do without you." Honestly, Yuri had no idea what he had ever done to deserve a friend like Otabek in his life.

"Get some rest. Call me anytime you need. I'll make sure I have my phone on me." He was smiling though. Being friends with Yuri was not the easiest, but for as much as Yuri needed from their relationship, Yuri gave just as much. Honesty, gratitude, and the younger man had been Otabek's sounding board more than once. That didn't even cover that Yuri had done all of his choreography this year and last year and the year before. "I'm going to come up when I have some time off."

"I'd like that. I miss you."

"I know you do. Get sleep." With that, Otabek was smiling as he ended the Skype call. It wasn't a traditional friendship, but they were best friends.

* * *

The rest of the week went fast. Victor and Yuri were both so busy with the Juniors and the two other seniors, not to mention with Yuri's skating. Victor was clearly giving Yuri space, and Yuri was trying to avoid Victor. What he hadn't told Otabek, what he hadn't told Victor, what he hadn't even told Christophe was that to do his free skate, Yuri needed to put himself in a headspace where he wanted Victor to notice him. Every second of that program was for Victor and it always had been -- but maybe Victor didn't need to know that.

Friday was the day that both he and Victor knew would arrive. While the children's training was normal, when the juniors got there, they were warming up and waiting. This was the day that Lilia was going to bring Yakov.

Yuri was trying not to pace, but his frustration level was so high. The tenseness in Yuri's form was clear as he got every Junior to go through both of their programs, one after the other -- and it was clear that some of them still needed more work. However, they were all better than when Yakov had last seen them.

Yuri stayed on the ice while Victor stayed at the boards with Yakov and Lilia -- even with Victor and Yuri trying to avoid each other, they still had perfect communication, It was a remnant from so many years on the same ice, with the same type of training and the long hours they had spent together since Victor's return. It was a long day. So many skaters didn't get by with just one run through, Yakov kept stopping people and having them do things again. It was after five by the time the last junior was done and Yuri was sore and tired. He had had to demonstrate and correct so many moves.

Yakov didn't miss the worried look that was sent in Yuri's direction as Victor watched the man on the ice. That wasn't good. If Yuri couldn't do that all day and still be able to do his programs, how would the young man be able to hold up for the skating season? Using the cane, Yakov walked to the boards, one strong wrinkled hand bracing himself against the well-worn wood. "Yurochka. You are next."

Those blue-green eyes widened as Yuri looker to Yakov, "What?"

"I said do your program." There was no negotiating with Yakov when he made up his mind like that.

Yuri didn't have enough fight in him, instead, he tossed his phone to Victor. Yes, he could do his programs without the music, but he preferred to have the music running -- plus it might keep Yakov from stopping him mid-performance.

The short he moved through, exactly as Yuri and Victor had worked on it time and time again. Prokofiev came as naturally to Yuri as breathing. Everything about this program was what came naturally to Yuri. A perfect dancer's arms and every muscle in his body showing how he had been molded into Lilia's protege. There was a peace to how he performed the short, confidence, this was performance, and it was perfect. He finished in his final pose, eyes looking over to Lilia needing the validation before he saw the woman smile. Yes, the program was beautiful. It was everything he had learned from her.

Yuri was tired now. To manage his short at that level after being on the ice for hours with his juniors was taxing his body, but he knew he had one more. He had another program he had to do, and he knew his body was already running near empty.

Taking a deep breath, Yuri closed his eyes. His free skate. This one he didn't just need to perform physically, this one he had to be in the right headspace for it as well -- he knew how that was always a gamble with him. He closed his eyes. He wanted -- he knew what he wanted. He wanted to be held and to have his hair stroked. He wanted soft kisses and gentle touches. He wanted -- he wanted what he had woken up to only a few days ago, and he wanted to so bad.

"Yura? Are you ready?" Victor's voice broke him out of his thinking.

With a fast exhale, Yuri moved to his starting position He nodded. Yes, for as much as Victor pissed him off and made life so hard -- he wanted that. He wanted those ice blue eyes to look at him gently. He wanted to wake up to breakfast and soft touches. All he had to offer was what he could do on the ice though.

As the music started, so did Yuri. All the things he wanted but couldn't have -- that was his motivation. He forgot people were watching him. He forgot everything except the one thing he knew. Victor was watching. His first jump and it was perfect. It did not matter how exhausted he was or how his body protested. He needed to do this, he needed to show Victor what he could do.

Even as he felt tears in his eyes from how his muscles burned, he kept going. Physical pain, emotional pain, they were the same. He could channel one into the other. He didn't stop. He was Yuri fucking Plisetsky and nothing was going to stop him from doing this skate perfectly.

After his day of doing everything as a right-footed skater, his two programs as a left-footed skater were harder, but he wasn't going to stop, spinning and twisting as he contorted his body past what people would think he could still do at his age. 

The final combo though, that was where he had to shine. If he was ever going to prove what he could do, this was the moment. The final combo in this was so hard -- and he knew it. But it had been designed for one thing. The triple flip, single loop, triple salchow was designed for one thing, and as Yuri threw himself into it, he prayed he had the strength in his body. The first triple became a quad. If Katsuki could do Victor's signature so late in his program, so could Yuri. Like hell was he going to let that man be better than him. It wasn't the prettiest quad flip, but he stayed up and had enough rotations, the single loop was a little unbalanced and the triple salchow was downgraded to a single, but Yuri made it through the combo. The shaking of his leg in the final arabesque into the spin was visible, but somehow he made it through the end of the program to hold his final pose for a fraction of a second before dropping to the ice. All he could do was gulp air, trying to get as much oxygen into his body and positive he was either going to pass out or throw up. He had done it though.

The next thing Yuri knew was that he had arms around him, concerned words that he couldn't understand yet flowing over him as he leaned into the warmth next to him. Everything about the person so comforting. A few minutes later, Yuri realized it was Victor, and as soon as he did, he pulled away, trying to stand up alone. It was no surprise that Victor helped him up off the ice and over to where Lilia and Yakov stood, concerned, but clearly impressed.

"Yura -- that combination?" The concern from Yakov washed over Yuri.

"I know -- it's hard, I -- I need to. I need to, Yakov." Yuri straightened up, looking at his coach.

"I know, Yurochka. You're strong. You -- you have my blessing. I am so proud of you."

Maybe it shouldn't mean as much as it did, but to have Yakov's blessing on his programs made even being helped to the locker room by Victor a little less humiliating. As Victor was taking his skates off, Yuri looked at how the man knelt down, his graceful fingers undoing the laces on Yuri's skates.

"Are you surprised?" The words were so soft, but maybe Yuri was more like Victor than he ever liked the admit. Yuri didn't care about surprising everyone though. All he wanted was to surprise the people he cared about.

Victor paused after getting the first skate removed, just looking up at Yuri as he let his hands move to rub that sore foot. "Yura, I -- I am, but I am not. I don't think there are many things you can't do if you put your mind to it." He leaned forward, letting his forehead rest on Yuri's right knee, just for a moment as he held that re-assembled ankle in his hands. "I just worry."

Yuri didn't know what to say. The way Victor touched him, the way he sounded, the way he felt -- it was everything that Yuri wanted, and everything he had convinced himself that he could never have. "Yakov and Lilia are waiting."

"They are." Still, Victor did not rush.

"We should hurry up." Yuri didn't sound out all like he really wanted to though.

"We should." Victor paused though, his eyes meeting Yuri's for just a moment before he straightened enough to take the second skate off. He gave Yuri a dry T-shirt and a hoodie as well as his shoes. There wasn't really a reason to fully change until he had a shower.

* * *

That night, Yuri drove Lilia and Yakov back to the house. Victor followed them back, and once Lilia and Yakov were back in the house -- and both Victor and Yuri had been reassured that it was not surprising Yakov was so exhausted from going to the rink today -- Victor was driving Yuri back to the Sportsplex for his own car.

"I wanted to talk to you." Victor was looking at the road, but this was his chance to actually have Yuri listen to him without having to worry about the younger man walking out mid-sentence.

"About what …" Yuri was rather sure he knew what this was about.

"Us?"

"There is no us."

"I see." The curt nod and Victor kept watching the road, but instead of driving to the rink, he was driving to his apartment.

Even though Yuri damn well knew where they were going, he still asked, "What the fuck, old man. Did you forget how to get to the rink already? Do I need to check you into the hospital?"

"No. I did not forget, I simply wanted to make dinner for you."

"What?" That was not something Yuri had expected. No, that was not the answer he had expected at all.

"I spoke to Christophe, he said I should make dinner for you."

"You know damn well that is not what Christophe said. Was that what he said?" Maybe it was, hell, Christophe made no sense to him half the time.

Victor just smiled, driving in silence as they made their way to the apartment building and then the elevator ride to Victor's floor.

Yuri stormed to the bathroom, at least if he was stuck here, he could be clean. Victor had nicer shampoo anyways. He raided VIctor's clothes, finding a pair of jogging pants that fit him, even if they were a few sizes too big. An overly expensive T-shirt and Yuri looked like he had raided his boyfriend's closet instead of his coach's closet.

When he walked out to the main room, Victor was still cooking. Yuri didn't know what to do with himself. He paced the living room and ended up just looking out the balcony window as Victor did whatever it was that he did in the kitchen.

> << Did you tell that idiot to make dinner?
> 
> >> what?"

Yuri couldn't help the smirk, yes, Christophe had not said that.

> << The idiot is in the kitchen making dinner for me.
> 
> >> Victor is cooking?
> 
> << I know right. Welcome to bizarro world or some shit.
> 
> >> I told him he needed to actually talk to you
> 
> << So kidnaping me to his apartment and holding me hostage without a word while he cooked was not what you said?
> 
> >> He -- oh for .. I'll call him
> 
> << No, it's fine. I have this.

Yuri shook his head, walking into the kitchen to find Victor looking from his phone to the pot on the stove.

Whatever words Yuri was going to say died on his lips. Instead, he just looked at the chaos. Jars of sauce were opened, vegetables sliced and … eggplant? "Vitya? What were you trying to do?"

"I -- I found a recipe for Eggplant parmesan and I thought you liked Italian food?" People often forgot that there were things Victor was bad at. All anyone ever thought of when they saw him was the god on the ice -- and it was a good thing because … this was bad. 

"I have this, don't worry." He made no mention of how he had told Victor that he was a bad cook and no reference to how normally he had leftovers from Lilia to eat. Instead, Yuri carefully hip butted Victor a little, looking at the mess the man had made and trying to salvage it. "OK, the eggplant is not happening," As he tasted the sauce, he grabbed the salt, adding just a little. "What else do you have in there."

"What else?"

"Oh, for -- Did the piggie do all of the cooking?"

"No … normally his mother did."

Yuri paused, looking up at the ceiling to keep himself from yelling. He didn't need to be yelling at Victor right now. Yelling wouldn't make dinner happen. Instead, he just moved to see what else there was that could be added to this to make it some sort of meal. The best thing about Italian food was how easy it was to substitute things -- and leftover chicken breast, the parmesan cheese, and some green peppers and before long Yuri had made something that was at least edible. 

It only took another twenty minutes and Yuri had actual edible food made. "You know, Christophe did not tell you to kidnap me and make me dinner."

"Well clearly. He knows me much too well. He would have never told me to cook, he would have made me order delivery."

Yuri didn't know what to say after that. He just paused, the food having just been placed on the table. "You … " He just shook his head as he decided to sit down. "What did you want to say?" Nothing was going to stop Yuri from eating. He was starving. He was back to working hard on the ice, and when he was working that hard, he was always hungry. Mila had used to tease him about how he could eat anything and not put on an ounce, and when he was skating this hard, it was true.

"I feel …" Victor paused there, his lips moving to a frown as he said that.

"You sound like a therapist, remember phrase everything in I feel statements and that shit. Don't bother with that for my sake, old man." Yuri took a gulp of water before attacking his food again.

"I don't want to take your place here." There, he just said it.

"What do you mean!" Yuri slammed his hands onto the table, standing up and glaring at Victor. "I fuck up one program and suddenly you're running away again!"

As Victor pulled back, stunned at the reaction, he realized that no matter how angry Yuri sounded, that wasn't anger, that was fear.

"No, I'm not leaving and you did not fuck up a program, you were amazing out there. Yes, it wasn't perfect, but what is? We still have two months before you compete. Stop -- stop…" Victor paused to look at the younger man, frowning as he really looked at Yuri. "Yura." His voice drifted to soft as he said the young man's name. "I don't want you to think I'm here to take your rightful place here. I'm here, yes. I have no intention of leaving."

"You always leave." Yuri looked back down at his food as he sat, no longer hungry.

"I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving Yakov. I'm not leaving Lilia. I'm not leaving the students, and Yura, I am not leaving you." There was no sign of Victor's normal ditziness and no sign of cruelty. This was not a joke, this was him being as serious as he had ever been.

Yuri's eyes narrowed as he looked over at the other man, "What do you mean?"

"I am not your coach. I haven't been your coach since I stepped foot from that plane. I have not been the coach at the rink either. I …" Victor stood up, walking over to Yuri to place a hand under his chin, lifting it up so that he could look into the other man's eyes, In this light, Yuri's eyes were greener than normal. They were always beautiful though. "I want you to get your actual coaching credentials. I don't want to be the only one of us with those -- "

"I …" Yuri couldn't hide the confusion as he looked up at Victor, standing to face him, even though he still had to look up.

"This is not a matter of I can't do this without you or you can't do this without me. This is … I don't want to do this without you. My coaching is better with you. My life is better with you. I just hope that you feel the same to some degree."

Normally, Yuri liked to follow Otabek's advice. However, Otabek wasn't here. Otabek couldn't see the look that Victor was giving him, and Otabek certainly didn't know how Victor's words made Yuri feel. Yuri knew that today he was not going to be following Otabek's advice. "I … " Words were harder for Yuri though. He was so used to communicating physically. Normally, he sighed, he stomped, he smiled he glared -- complex emotions were dancing and skating. Words -- words were harder.

Yuri exhaled, a deep breath as he admitted defeat. Victor had won. Victor was going to get what he wanted -- again. "I'll do it. I -- I don't want to do this without you either." He should have stopped there. Yuri never knew when to stop though. "I didn't think you'd be here this season when I came up with my programs. Christophe asked me who I think of when I'm skating it. He didn't believe me when I said no one because that was a lie." Then as Yuri looked into those ice blue eyes, "It was always about you."

That confused Victor. It made no sense. "You had that program before I arrived." He wanted to say that Yuri had had that program since Victor had been a 'happily married man' for all that Yuri had known.

"I know. I'm not proud of it." His voice was even as he looked back down at his food on his plate. "We should eat. I need to get my car and go home and sleep -- we have work tomorrow. It's only a few weeks until the start of the junior season." Soon every week would have one of them away at some ice competition or another.

"Or you could eat the dinner I screwed up and stay here tonight? You're tired and I have a soaking tub?" There was a soft smile as Victor offered. He couldn't hide the concern, so he didn't try.

Yuri's response was only a sigh, but he sat down and resumed eating. He'd stay. He was exhausted. He knew he shouldn't but he would.

The rest of the dinner passed by with hardly a word before Yuri essentially set up camp in the bathroom. The tub was full of hot water and Epsom salt as he relaxed, letting his muscles recover. It wasn't as nice as Lilia's, but it was more than enough to make Yuri doubt his choice in apartments -- or at least ponder having the bathroom redone. 

Once again he was wearing Victor's cloths to sleep in. As he pulled on the loose jogging pants, he grabbed his phone to snap a picture. He needed to check with Otabek.

> << [Yuri wearing a pair of jogging pants that clearly were not his and nothing else with the tile of the bathroom his backdrop]
> 
> << I'm an idiot
> 
> >> Please tell you did not have sex with him?

Even if it was late in Almaty, Otabek's response was near instant.

> << No. 
> 
> >> Good. Do not have sex with him. You know how you get.
> 
> << Beka … oh, I am so fucked.
> 
> >> Just don't don't fuck him.
> 
> >> Or let him fuck you
> 
> >> Promise

Yuri stood there, taking a deep breath as he looked at himself in the mirror. Maybe a little leave conditioner and … no, he was not going to make himself pretty for Victor tonight. Victor could deal with him looking like a wreak or the man could go to hell.

> >> You haven't replied …
> 
> << OK, I promise. 
> 
> << No sex.

Yuri walked out of the bathroom, seeing that Victor had changed into sleeping pants and a loose T-shirt and was sitting on his bed looking at his phone as he scrolled through something.

"Everything OK?" He walked in, looking at Victor as the man frowned at his phone.

"Yeah, I just -- we have so much coming up in the next few weeks." It would make it hard to give Yuri the time he needed to get his program where it needed to be.

"I'll get my credentials and you know as well as I do that all I need to do is qualify for nationals. As long as I do that, and there is no way I won't do that, we're good. You have to worry less about me and more about all your students, Vitya. This isn't how it was when you ran off with Katsuki. You have have so many people who you are responsible. We have eight juniors and two other seniors. Even if Yakov can start coming back to work, this isn't going to be easy." He walked over to him, looking down at the man.

"But --" 

"Vitya. I'll be fine."

"I know you will be -- I just … I'm sorry." Victor's one eye was completely covered by his hair as he looked down, sighing as he said it.

"Vitya, I am not him. I will never be him. I don't need you in the same way--"

What Yuri didn't expect was how Victor glared up at him, not with rage, but pain. "I know. You don't need me at all." It was a crack in the facade -- while seeing beneath the mask had become more and more common, this was a true breaking. This was honesty, and Yuri well knew that Victor so rarely engaged in being honest.

All Yuri could do was stand there for a moment, needing to let those words sink in before he stepped forward and pulled Victor to him, holding the man close. Of course, this was hard on him. It was so easy to forget that the living legend was a human, not just a human but one that was hurting as well. "It's OK. I … don't need you." No, he couldn't say he needed Victor, but there was one thing he could say and be completely truthful, "But I want you." He leaned forward, softly kissing the man's cheek.

He felt as Victor relaxed into his arms and Yuri pulled him closer, "Come on. We both need to sleep. It'll seem better in the morning, Vitya."

"You're going to sleep here?" Even through the stress and the sadness, a little bit of a tease could be heard.

"Shush. I promised Beka I wasn't going to have sex with you, not that I wasn't going to sleep in your bed."

"What?" Victor pulled back slightly.

"Shut up, just get in bed, ass hole." Yuri tried to pull him under the covers, much too tired to deal with this.

"What do you mean what Beka said? You talked to Otabek?"

"I texted him. And sent him a picture -- look I'm an idiot a lot. I need someone to keep me from being stupid."

"That's a lot of responsibility to put on a person." Falling into teasing Yuri felt nice, familiar.

"Hey, he's the idiot who wanted to be my best friend." The fight was all fake, clearly as Yuri playfully argued.

Victor smiled at that, then his eyes went wide as he froze. Yuri slid into bed, but not to the other side. He let himself curl right into Victor's side. "Yura…"

"Shut it asshole, you know I'm going to end up here the second I fall asleep anyways."

"Can I kiss you?"

"I thought we only did that when we were drinking?" Yuri didn't pull away at all.

"That's not a no." Victor leaned over, letting his lips brush against Yuri's, then pressing harder at the soft noise from Yuri. He let his arms wrap around the lithe body in his bed, smiling as he did.

Yuri's arms wrapped around Victor's neck, pulling the man down as he yielded to the kiss. He was tired -- so very tired, but to be kissed and held like this -- part of him craved it so desperately. Finally, he broke the kiss, whispering, "We need to sleep."

As Victor pulled back slightly, he nodded, a slight smile on his face as he watched Yuri for a moment, "You're right. Good night Yura -- you're welcome here any night you want."

"Careful old man. Keep making offers like that and you might have to give up some of your closet space."

As Yuri curled back into him, settling into the night, Victor's eyes opened wide at that in the dark room. What did he expect though, it was Yuri. The man practically was the definition of contrary. Victor wanted that though. He wanted Yuri.


	16. Please don't let this be taken from me....

Morning came too early, and regardless of how sore Yuri felt, he knew he couldn't stay in bed. At least he hadn't done anything stupid the night before. Well, horribly stupid at least. Yuri started to detangle himself, hoping Victor would stay asleep. He didn't know what he should do and the temptation to call Otabek was so strong. The temptation to stay in bed, clinging to this thing he had with Victor was so strong -- he couldn't though.

"Yura?" Victor's voice was so soft that Yuri paused, leaning over to look down into those crystalline blue eyes. Even tired, Yuri could not deny how good Victor looked, but Victor had always looked good. With a sigh, Yuri looked down at the man's face as he let a finger trail over the stubble along that sharp jawline. Classically handsome, it was the best way to describe that man.

Victor's hand reached up, stroking along Yuri's chin feeling the smooth skin. "Are you OK?" The concern in the tone reached Yuri though as he forced himself to shake himself out of this state of only being able to stare into those icy blue eyes.

"Just sore. I was going to find something to take." He made no move to actually do so. There was no fighting as Victor pulled him down and into another soft kiss - morning breath be damned.

"Vitya …" The man's name just whispered against his lips. He wanted to stay here, in bed, kissing and seeing how it felt. He couldn't though. They had work. They needed to get ready and leave. What Yuri wanted and what Yuri was going to get would once again be different. He let himself enjoy the kiss though, his eyes closed, not wanting to leave this. Scared that if he left the bed now, left Victor now, that this would be over and they'd be back to how things had been.

As the kiss was broken, Vitya smiled, a gentle curve to his lips as he watched those blue-green eyes slowly open. "I'll start breakfast. Take a hot shower, it'll help your muscles."

For a moment, Yuri wanted to argue, to be selfish, to not let Victor leave, but he had to. With a sigh, he sat up, leaving the bed. The borrowed joggers hung low on his hips as he walked to the bathroom so he could crank the water temp in the shower to as hot as he could stand.

After painkillers and a shower, Yuri was walking into the kitchen, pausing at the door as he let himself enjoy the sight. Victor Nikiforov, the living legend of skating, was standing over the stove as he fried eggs. Eggs, toast, bacon -- a simple breakfast, but it smelled delicious. Yuri smiled softly, walking forward as he watched Victor without any sort of a fake mask on, just honestly and intently cooking.

"It smells good, Vitya." He let his voice soften as much as he could as he whispered that name. Somedays, it still seemed strange that he was able to use that soft form of the man's name, no longer separated off by skill and age to need to refer to him by something more formal.

"I hope it tastes delicious." Smiling, but not the overly excited heart-shaped smile and not the fake one that hid such cruelty. This was an honest smile as the food was placed on the table and they both sat to eat. Dunking toast into runny yolks, Victor looked over at Yuri unable to hide the softness in his gaze. Victor wanted this. He didn't just want this today, he wanted a lot more.

It wouldn't last long, soon they'd be back to work. The Junior competitions started so soon, and they had so many students to chase points with. Yuri knew Yakov was used to it. He wasn't though. It was going to be so many weeks of work -- and most of it would be Victor being gone as he took the juniors to their competitions. For today though, this was nice.

* * *

Most of the time, Yuri was thrilled to see Lilia. In the six years since he had been introduced to her, she had become the closest thing to family in his life. This morning was not one of those times. As Victor pulled into the Sportsplex's parking lot, there was a car parked right next to Yuri's It was Yakov's car. Since Yakov did not yet have permission to drive, that meant that at least Lilia and most likely Yakov and Lilia were both here … at the Sportsplex ... where Yuri's car was ... the car Yuri was supposed to be on his way to pick up when he and Victor had left the house last night … the Sportsplex where neither VIctor nor Yuri had been early this morning, both of them arriving just before they needed to be there for classes -- together.

There wasn't time to sit in the parking lot and try and figure out how to explain this. Since they hadn't been rushing this morning, there was no time before they'd have students. Simply muttering a few expletives under his breath, Yuri got out of the car and led the way to the staff door. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

As soon as they approached the ice, they saw Lilia and Yakov both sitting there. Yakov was in one of the seats where he could clearly see the ice and Lilia was sitting next to him. Both of them were looking at Victor and Yuri as the two walked in. Yakov wore a frown and Lilia's expression was hard to read -- and that was perhaps even worse.

Lilia stood up to her full height, the heels she wore clicking on the floor. "Yura. Meet me in the dance studio. Dress … in clean clothes." She gestured at what the man had on, not letting him even pretend that she did not know that those were his clothes from yesterday.

"Of course." Yuri hurried off. He was not going to keep Lilia waiting. She was upset, clearly, but he had learned that it was better to just face her upfront than to try and hide and put things off.

As those two left, Victor was left standing there with Yakov. "I know what you are going to say."

"Oh really, Vitya. You know what I am going to say?" Yakov sighed, his age truly showing as he closed his eyes. "I can't tell you what to do. I can't … I'm just an old man." There was no fight, no yelling, and that was even worse.

Victor sat down next to him, taking the seat that Lilia had been in until a few moments ago. "Are you all right?"

"I am tired, Vitya. I am worried. I am brutally aware of my shortcomings right now, but I am very aware that you and Yuri were … together last night." He sighed again, looking up at the flags on the far wall of the rink. The huge imperial eagle looking over where the next generation of skaters would soon be training.

"It's not what you think." Victor bit his lip though, uncertain if maybe it was what Yakov thought. The voice of doubts starting to worm it's way into his thoughts.

"You were miserable when you were alone. Why do you think I gave you Makkachin? You -- you have never been good at solitude. No, you need attention, and when you were younger, I had thought a pet would be enough for you. I was wrong."

"Yuri is not replacing Makkachin." The confusion was clear in Victor's expression.

"No, I know he isn't replacing Makkachin, but is he a substitute for your husband?"

"Ex-husband."

"Trust me, I know how little that 'Ex' can mean when it involves someone whom you love."

"He's moved on from me. You saw the news. You saw the photos. He has someone new--"

"So does that mean you need someone new as well, Vitya? How would Yuri feel to know he's just a temporary replacement for the man you can't have? Or is he just to make your husband jealous? Do you want people to see you are the one with the more beautiful trophy boyfriend? You always did love to take gold." There was bitterness in the man's voice. Maybe he had been hurt too deeply one too many times by Victor. Maybe Lilia's warning about trying to hurt Yakov less was not without reason.

"No, it's not that. I swear to you, I swear on everything, it is not that. Yuri -- Yuri is …" How did he phrase this? How did he explain how beautiful and dedicated the man was. How did he explain how his cold heart was drawn to that all-encompassing fire. How did he convince Yakov of what he wasn't even ready to acknowledge to himself?

Before Victor could explain, the first of the children walked in and Victor had to go to the students to start getting them ready for their lessons today. There wasn't time to argue with Yakov. He felt it though, that disapproving glance as he herded the small group of children onto the ice, his own skates on as he started to work with them. Normally this had been done by Yuri, but not today. Yuri was with Lilia, which left Victor to teach the children.

The more time he spent on the ice, the more Victor thought about Yuri. Was he just replacing Yuuri? The guilt started to burn at him. He knew how his dreams flickered from one to the other. When he was with Yuri, there was no confusion. When he was with Yuri everything was fire and blond and those piercing blue-green eyes burning with determination. Did he love him though? Never mind what did Yuri want and feel, he had to come to terms with what he wanted and he felt. He needed to think -- away from Yuri. With Yuri there, all his thoughts went to nothing but the other man.

* * *

In the dance studio at the rink, Lilia was waiting when Yuri entered. His hair was tied up in a loose bun, he maintained a tight one was too feminine. She was watching, her hand on the top barre along the mirrored wall. "Stretch. I assume you are … not … too sore."

Yuri sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Really? That is how we are starting today? Oh no, Yuri wasn't at his own apartment last night, I had better work him even harder in the studio today." He moved a foot to the top barre though, leaning into the stretch as he started to make sure all of his muscles were good for whatever torture the woman had planned.

"You were with Victor." Her tone was cold as she stepped back to keep an eye on his, "And you are stiff today."

"I am stiff from skating yesterday, not whatever you are thinking of." He switched to his other leg, leaning even further into the stretches this time.

"Then why did you both look guilty when you arrived?" She frowned, wanting to believe Yuri that it was not what she thought; however, she was now certain she was right. She had seen glances, and more importantly -- Yuri had stopped complaining to her about Victor.

"Because." He sighed as he sat on the floor, moving to a front split as he braced his feet against the mirrors before leaning towards one foot and then the other. "It's confusing, all right? He wanted to talk."

"To talk? All night?" The frown never left her face as she watched him stretch.

"He made dinner." Yuri shrugged a little before he moved to stretch in the other direction.

"Victor made dinner?" She crossed her arms, clearly not believing it. She had had the man in her house for months, she knew his skills in the kitchen to some degree and had not been impressed.

"He tried. I took over the cooking. I was hungry." He moved away from the mirrors to start stretching his feet. His feet were the one things that separated him from most dancers, he was a skater though. He still had to stretch them, even if they didn't have the dancer's arch necessary to truly excel at ballet.

"So you were hungry."

"He has a much nicer bathroom than I do."

Lilia still didn't seem at all convinced. Instead, she moved back to the barre, resting her hand onto it as she watched him, waiting.

"I'm an adult. You realize this, right? If I am out all night having wild sex, that's my business." 

Yuri didn't even look up at the offended exhale the woman emitted, "Yurouchka!"

"We did not have sex, not that it would be your business if we did." He moved back to the bar, this time his leg on the top barre but his stretched were for his arms. 

"It would to be my business." The hurt in her voice was hard to miss, well, at least hard to miss for Yuri.

He stopped, turning to look at her, now his lip caught between his teeth as he sighed. "I know. I -- I just didn't want you to know anything was happening because I knew you'd be upset and … worried, and I don't want to worry you."

"Of course I worry when you don't tell me what is going on, I worry about you." The cold facade had faded away, leaving the Lilia that only a few people were privileged enough to see.

"I … I want him." The implications of his words were very clearly chosen.

"Want?" She frowned.

"I -- I know I want him. The rest of everything is more complicated. I -- " Yuri sighed, looking up at the ceiling before he just gave up and walked over to Lilia, leaning into her and resting his head on her shoulder. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

"I just worry about you. I --"

"You expect me to make good decisions." The words were almost cold, but the emotion beneath them could be heard if you knew what you were listening for.

"I want you to not be hurt, but -- I know that is not always possible." Her arms were wrapped around him, holding his lithe frame to her own thin one. Every year was a little harder on her. Her long career as a dancer had caused stress to her body, but the woman still had her pride and so much more.

"I wish I could just say that I love him. Just have some certainty and dig in my heels and insist you acknowledge that." Yuri's voice was soft, just whispered words into her shoulder.

"But?"

"But all I know is that I am scared." To admit that was hard.

"Scared, baby?" She held onto him. He'd gone so long in his life with no one to hold him that she could never begrudge him the moments that he wanted physical attention.

"I want him to love me, but -- I know he never will." His shoulders slumped in defeat.

Lilia was left in the unenviable position of either telling him that yes, Victor could love him or telling him that the man he had had a crush on for years would never love him. Which was worse, honestly she didn't know. She knew the truth though. "My precious, any man should be honored to have your attention, and if they are not, then that is their loss." She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, once again, seeing so much of her in the young man.

"I don't want some man, I want that one." Yuri knew his tone was bordering on petulant.

"Just be careful, Yurouchka." She sighed, letting her hands run along the back of his neck, feeling the soft strands of hair that never were caught by the bun.

"I know, we need him here." He sighed softly.

The woman scoffed. "Fuck here. If Yakov retires, he retires. I worry about you, baby." She placed another kiss on his forehead, ignoring the absolute shock on the boy's face that a curse word had slipped from her lips.

An enigmatic smile graced her lips as she gestured to the barre, "We begin." In an instant, the moment was gone and he was back to work. His mind wasn't on his work. He couldn't stop thinking about Victor and what Lilia had said. It would be a long day.

* * *

That day marked a change. Every morning Yakov and Lilia were at the Rink. There was so much to prepare and the extra help was so needed. Victor seemed to be giving him some distance. He didn't push, instead, he was putting all of his efforts into the junior skaters while Victor worked with the other two seniors. The other seniors' first event was the week before Yuri's and that was fine with him. He had no desire to be competing at his first event back with people he trained -- partially because he didn't want the distraction and partially because it would be humiliating to lose to another of Yakov's students.

The decision had been made that Victor would do the travel, leaving Yuri and Yakov in St. Petersburg to keep everything going. Besides, summer break from the University was almost over, and Yuri would be adding coursework to his workload shortly.

It was three days before Victor was going to be flying off with five of the eight juniors, and Yuri was getting frustrated as he tried to meet the man's eyes.

Tonight was Friday though, and that meant the seniors would be working late tonight. It wasn't an ideal schedule for anyone, but everyone had learned to adapt. Yuri would be the last of the seniors to be worked with, his own training had taken a backseat for far too long, but Yuri wouldn't hear of any other situation. It was too important for him to do what he could for Yakov.

The children were now entirely Victor and Yakov's responsibility. Instead of being on the ice, Yuri was now in the dance studio all morning with Lilia. Monday he would be at university classes again. Monday Yakov and Lilia would be the ones responsible for the skating program here. As he walked out of the dance studio and into the much cooler air near the rink, Yuri shivered, walking over to where Victor had his things. 

It had been too long since he and Victor had spoken. Yuri had had enough of being ignored. As if it were the most normal thing in the world, he walked over to where the man had left his overcoat and pulled it on, muttering something about how cold it was before walking up a few rows of seats to lean back and watch Victor on the ice. While it wasn't yet cold outside, he knew Victor habitually had a coat with him, and this time of year, it was normally the light trench coat that Yuri had wrapped around himself. He didn't want to let himself get too comfortable, but he was. The coat, even as light as it was, embracing him in warmth, not only warmth but warmth that smelt of Victor. The blank look he had so carefully crafted move to a frown as he waited. Not as if he hadn't been waiting for so long already.

When Victor finally came off the ice, letting the children go home for the day, he reached for his coat before seeing it wasn't there. It was then he looked up at Yuri, seeing the man had stolen it. He sighed, no, there was no more avoiding this. He walked up to Yuri, looking down at the younger man. 

Looking up at Victor as if this were a completely normal event, Yuri simply asked, "Lunch?"

"We only have an hour?" Victor was near certain this was not just about lunch.

Yuri stood up, looking over to where Lilia and Yakov were sitting, "We're going to the cafe across the street. I'll text you before we head back in case either of you wants anything." It was then that he removed the coat to hand it back to Victor.

Given no choice, Victor followed Yuri across the street and to the small coffee shop. He was waiting for Yuri to speak, knowing that at some point his policy of avoiding Yuri would fall apart. He had told Christophe what had happened and the man had sounded exasperated that Victor was backing off.

He found himself buying a coffee and a sandwich and moving with Yuri to a table in the far corner of the little cafe.

"You've been avoiding me."

Why did he think that Yuri would dance around the subject? He should have expected that. "Yakov thought that was a good idea."

Rolling his eyes, Yuri shook his head. "Because since when did you listen to anything that Yakov has ever told you?"

"Since I thought it could save me from hurting you more?" The words were out of his mouth before he realized it. The cold snappish tone not able to hide his irritation, but the shock in his eyes as he backed up, blinking at Yuri, not having realized he had said that. "I …"

"I see."

"Yuri--"

"No." The staying away, and now this. Yuri wasn't stupid. If Victor wanted nothing to do with him, then fine.

Victor had no idea how to stop this from falling apart. Yuri cutting himself off and putting all of the walls back up was obvious and painful for Victor to watch. He didn't know what to do as Yuri stood up, leaving his food but taking the coffee and walking from the cafe without another word. As he watched the other man leave, he knew he had screwed up. He didn't want to hurt Yuri. Victor's appetite was gone. Tossing the food, he walked out to the small park nearby. What should he have done differently, he didn't know.

He grabbed his phone, sitting on a bench to dial the only person he could think of asking for help. "Chris…?"

* * *

Yuri stormed off, rage burning in him as he shoved his headphones into his ears. He just texted Lilia that he was going for a run. She knew what that meant. She knew that meant lunch with Victor had gone poorly. Normally, he'd just run on the treadmill, but he needed to not be at the Sportsplex for a period of time. Why did he always feel like this over Victor? Fucking Victor.

Yuri knew the shortcuts to the closest places to actually run. There were parks, places that were too crowded at this time of day in this beautiful weather, but still, he could get by. He'd spent so much of his life here -- more than half now. Eleven years living in Saint Petersburg. He could mimic the accent perfectly, people would think he had been born here. Ten years in Moscow though. He'd been four when he had first seen the beautiful boy on the TV. He'd been sitting on the floor of his Deda's flat, and the Olympics had been on. He had heard the announcer say, "And now representing Russia, Victor Nikiforov." He'd saw the captivating green-clad figure skate out and all he could think of what how beautiful.

He'd started skating after that. He wasn't the only one. After the Olympics that winter, everyone seemed to be hauling their children to the many ice rinks and strapping on skates to see if one of theirs could be the next Victor. 

He never wanted to be the next Victor.

When he was little, he had just wanted to meet the man. When he was seven and still skating in outdoor rinks in the winter, he had almost managed that. He had been too far back and too short. He hadn't been able to actually watch the Rostelecom that that year, well not in person. Once again, he'd only been able to see him on the television.

He still did not want to be the next Victor.

He'd been so much luckier than most. He'd skated on the same ice. He'd had the same coach. He'd been compared to the man so much -- but what he wanted was the thing he had gotten when he was twelve. He just had wanted Victor to notice him. That attention had led to the broken promise when Victor had run off to Japan.

Fuck that. Fuck Victor. 

He didn't need the man to pay attention to him. He'd surpassed him in some ways, in others he was still fighting. He ran faster, feeling how his muscles were forced to work. He needed his endurance though, and this was the way. Beauty was nothing without strength.

He didn't need Victor to pay attention to him. He wanted it. He didn't need it.

He was late for getting back to the sportsplex and he knew it. He didn't want to see Victor though. As he jogged back, feeling the pain of sore muscles through his body, he knew he had overdone it. He'd just grab his car and head to Lilia's. He just texted her to shove his skates in the office.

By the time Yakov and Lilia got back to the house, Yuri was near positive that he was a prune in the tub. Not that he could hear them, the music was playing much too loudly in the bathroom and he had lost all track of time.

Eventually, he made his way downstairs, now in clean clothes at least -- although the black T-shirt and leggings weren't much different than what he'd worn every day of the week or month or maybe the summer. 

Lilia looked up at him as he walked down the stairs, a frown on her face and the worry clear. She didn't say anything, instead just telling him when dinner would be.

Yakov was in the sitting room, the national news was one, clearly later than Yuri had thought if he had already missed the local news. The man looked up, his frown was filled with worry, "You and Vitya fought again?"

Yuri flopped onto the couch. "We're not fighting. I am realizing I am an idiot. These are different things."

"Yurouchka, you are not and have never been an idiot. You are smart, normally too much for your own good."

"I feel stupid." He let his lips move to a frown, looking down as his damp hair was brushed back from his face with one hand.

"You are so much like my Lilenka, you know this though. You are smart and beautiful and so young …" Yakov's voice had shifted, something softer than his normal gruffness. 

Yuri knew the age difference between Yakov and Lilia. "I'm not that young."

"No. You are. Believe me, Yurouchka, I know. Lilia was only eighteen when I asked her to marry me. I was only a few years from thirty. If I knew then what I know now, I would like to think I would have waited. I wish I would have been able to let her see the world and experience life first, but I needed her. I would have done anything to gain her attention."

That was not what Yuri had been expecting. He sat up straighter, looking at Yakov as he tried to figure out where this was going.

"This is probably why I reacted so poorly when Victor ran off to Japan. I know it is why I am mad at him about you."

"You are mad? At Victor?" Yuri didn't want to say it, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to accept that Yakov could ever be mad at his chosen skater.

"Yes. I don't want him to hurt you. I don't want him to see you and decide that he could replace --"

"I am not a replacement!" Yuri was on his feet, hand on a hip as he gestured with the other. "I am not a replacement for anyone."

"I know!" Yakov yelled right back. "That is why I told him not to hurt you!"

Yuri took a step back, his eyes wide as he looked at Yakov. "You … " How did he say this, he didn't have any idea. He was positive that he had to be wrong, "You fought with Victor because of me?"

The confusion in Yuri's face made Yakov stop and just look at the young man. He knew why Yuri was acting like that. He wished it wasn't true, but he had always been so sensitive about being good enough -- and everyone knew the benchmark in Yakov's eyes was always Victor. Yuri would never be another Victor, but Yakov didn't want that. He took a step forward, pulling the young man into a hug and just holding him there. Yuri and Victor were so different, but in some ways so much the same. "I love you, Yurouchka. I love you. I don't want to see any man break your heart."

Yakov pulled Yuri tighter, tucking his head under his chin as he kept his eyes closed. "Yes, I love Victor. He has only just finalized his divorce. He is wounded and I know, I know Yura, you've -- I could never have hoped for a son as good as you." Yakov knew Yuri craved a father figure -- no matter how much he denied it. He had seen the boy with his grandfather. He knew the boy had never known his father. He carried his maternal grandfather's names.

He felt it then, those shoulders start to shake and he held onto the young man tighter. He held Yuri until he felt him still and only then did he sigh. "Stay here tonight." This would always be Yuri's home. At first, Yakov had been displeased that Yuri had not packed up and moved out when he had turned eighteen. Three years later now, he was glad that he was still here in most ways.

Yuri just nodded, not trusting himself to say anything.

"Why don't you clean up in your room. If you miss dinner, Lilia can bring it up to you?" He pulled back to look at Yuri, and he had to admit, Yuri was stunning. Victor had been beautiful when he had been younger, the beauty transitioning to handsome. Yuri though, Yuri was still beautiful. When the young man looked this vulnerable, his jewel-like eyes glistening with tears, even Yakov knew that Yuri was the type of man other men fought wars over. 

As Yuri turned to walk to his room, all Yakov could think was that Victor had better appreciate what he had the fortune to have. To throw away Yuri was unforgivable, the man much too precious. He needed to let those two figure out their lives. He and Lilia could only go so far. They were adults, they had to make their own mistakes.

All Yuri could think of was how much of this distance was from Victor over thinking what Yakov had said to him.


	17. Third time is the charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this update is so late. 
> 
> I injured by had a little bit ago and this is week four in a brace. It is also the first week I can take it out of the brace for longer than an hour at a time, so I managed to get this chapter finished. I hope it was worth the wait :)

For the rest of the weekend, Yuri spent what time he could away from the Sportsplex, choosing instead to work on his routine off the ice. He knew he needed ice time. He knew he needed to be working on his jumps. He was just ignoring that so he could avoid Victor. Days later, school started again and everyone's schedules were thrown back into chaos and it was even easier for Yuri to avoid Victor -- to give the man space to think about things. When Victor was on the ice, Yuri was at school. When it was time for Yuri to practice, it was late, after everyone had left. Victor had to fly to competition with the juniors soon, chasing Yuri's ever-changing schedule was impossible.

Just a few days later, Yuri was on the ice in the afternoon, only the other two seniors on the ice with him. Most of the juniors were with Victor at a competition and the other few were with Lilia working off the ice. This was the closest to normal that things had been. Yakov was now able to stand at the boards, using both hands to brace himself, but still able to stand. From there, he was able to instruct all three of his seniors. He wasn't back on the ice like he liked to be, and he might never regain that ability -- but the improvement had been amazing.

Yuri stayed off to one side of the rink, just running through his jumps now that he actually had ice time. Today was the first competition for the juniors for the season, so Yuri kept checking his phone. For as much as he'd been trying to act that Victor wasn't on his mind, the truth was that the man very much was.

A few hours later and training was over. A tired Yuri made sure that Yakov and Lilia were safely in Yakov's car. He wasn't going home with them tonight. Tonight, he was just going straight to his apartment. The refrigerator had been repaired and it was now stocked with food again. By the time he got home, the last of the juniors at the competition had finished. While throwing something into the microwave, Yuri texted Victor.

> << Good job. I didn't expect them to do as well as they did.

There was a delay in the reply. During it, Yuri carried his food over to his bed, leaning back and bracing himself against the wall as he turned on music and let his eyes close, just relaxing as he waited for his dinner to cool down a little. Sometimes it was nice to be alone. Sometimes it was nice to be at Lilia's. However, if he was reaching out to Victor, he didn't want to be there. He wanted to be someplace that was private.

> >> Thank you. They really did well. You did such a good job with them. Everyone was talking about their choreography. 
> 
> >> I think I mentioned your name a dozen or so times tonight when asked about it
> 
> << Thank you, Vitya

Maybe that was a little bit of a gamble, typing out Vitya, but to address him by Victor would be too harsh.

> >> You don't have to thank me
> 
> >> How did things go there with me gone?
> 
> << Yakov's been doing good. He's been clutching the boards instead of his cane. The other seniors are happy to have him back.
> 
> >> Are you happy to have him back?
> 
> << I've had him back for a while. 
> 
> << I am very happy to have him doing better though.
> 
> << He told Lilia he wants to come to my competition. Lilia told him hell no.
> 
> >> Do you think he'll listen?
> 
> << Have you ever tried to not do what Lilia told you?
> 
> >> Good point. So just the two of us still?
> 
> << Think you can behave?
> 
> >> I've missed you
> 
> << I needed time to think.

Yuri sighed as he typed that. It had been true. He didn't know why this was easier for him, to talk like this through texting. He could be honest this way. He didn't feel like the lesser partner in this relationship. He felt like an equal as he knew Victor was in a crappy hotel room texting him, not anything someone would think worthy of the living legend of figure skating.

> >> Meet me at the airport?
> 
> << Sunday?
> 
> >> If you wanted…
> 
> << What are you hoping to have a repeat of every other time one of us flies in?
> 
> >> I thought we could talk
> 
> << Talk?
> 
> >> and I miss you
> 
> << I'll think about it. I have to eat and then sleep though. Get some rest
> 
> >> Good night Yura

Yuri paused as he saw 'Yura'. There was no more of that Yurio bullshit. Victor hadn't called in Yurouchka in so long. No, now when Victor was being soft, he used Yura, and it was so appreciated.

> << Good night, Vitya.
> 
> << Sleep well

Yuri set his phone down, picking up his dinner to eat. It was late and he had school tomorrow. He'd be very busy, Sunday his only real day off.

* * *

The week had been hard. School, on ice training, and dance training, not to mention physical therapy -- but Yuri knew it was going to be hard. It would be hard enough taking time off from his classes to go to the competition. He would do it though. He was determined.

Sunday afternoon, Yuri was waiting by a baggage claim as he saw so many familiar bags start to show up. He grabbed Victor's, but he left the bags of the junior skaters alone. 

Then he heard them, a lot of excitement and commotion as the small herd of skaters was shepherded through the airport to get to the baggage claim. It was then that Yuri noticed there were other adults standing around, some of them had gathered bags off the belt, but the juniors ran to their parents, hugs and words of how much they were missed being given, Yuri just stood there, confused as Victor first made sure everyone was fine and then moved over to where Yuri was with the bag. "Are you alright?" Those blue eyes held concern as he looked at Yuri.

"I didn't expect this many people picking them up?" He had never had anyone picking him up at the airport. 

"What did you expect, Yuri?"

"I always took a cab home." Of course, he did. He had been in the dorms without a parent nearby, That was a remnant of the past, even in just the decade since Yuri had moved out to Saint Petersburg. Now, if a student came here from far away, a host family would be found. It was better, but most of the juniors and seniors they taught had had family relocate to the area as their child pursued the dream of being a world class skater.

"Come on. If it makes you feel better, I'll even drive your car so you can pretend it's an uber or something."

"Shut up. If it were an uber, it would be so much cleaner." It did get a smile from Yuri though.

Walking to the parking lot, Victor was carrying his skate bag and laptop, but Yuri was pulling the checked bag behind him. "Should we talk?" Victor wasn't sure why Yuri had picked him up, but he was certain he was not being picked up at noon so that they could go make out someplace.

"How about your place? It's nicer than mine."

"I'm trying to decide if you mean that or if you actually mean you want some quality time with my bathtub."

"I do love your bathtub."

"Did Lilia put the one into her house so you'd still spend so much time there?" It was a tease, but a very gentle one as Victor got his luggage into Yuri's car. 

"Oh, I'd still spend time with her. You've tasted her cooking, you know I do love food."

As they got into the car so Yuri could drive to Victor's the tease was continued, "I've installed three food delivery apps on my phone."

"With how good your cooking is, that's a very good idea for you."

Victor let his conversation drift to how the competition had been. It was only for single skaters, Novice and Junior, so it hadn't been huge, but it had been a good experience for their juniors, giving them a taste of competition at that stage of their careers. Small talk continued as they made their way up to Victor's apartment, and Yuri was not at all surprised that Victor took a picture of his luggage once inside the door to post with a simple caption.

> [A beautiful purple skate bag with a Russian flag stuck onto it next to a large piece of designer luggage in black and silver.]
> 
> Wonderful first competition of the season. Happy to be back home though.

It was just the type of post they all made, simple updates so their fans would know what was going on.

Yuri was perched on the arm of the couch, watching as Victor posted. He waited until the man was done before asking, "You need to suck less at this social media thing old man."

Victor just raised an eyebrow at him, walking over to stand close. "Should I post a picture of you and say the kitten has stopped avoiding me?"

There was no real reaction to the tease of 'kitten', surprisingly. Instead, Yuri just tilted his head, "I had a heart to heart talk with Yakov."

That was even more surprising in a way, "I thought we had this decided, I was the one to get yelled at by Yakov and you had heart to hearts with Lilia?"

Rolling his head, Yuri let a smile slip across his features, "Yakov explained what he thought. So, I thought since that is what he thought, I should just ask you about it. So am I a rebound? Because you know I really hate second place."

"I thought you only hated it with JJ in first." The call back to those first two podiums of his senior career were always fair game in teasing it seemed.

"Oh, by all means, need me to take the juniors to their next competition so you can fuck off to Canada to fuck that?" Of course, Yuri knew it was patently impossible for that to happen. "Although he has a type, and you are decidedly not it. I think I have his wife's number someplace if you want to ask for permission?" He pulled off his phone as if he actually would.

"Yura!" Then Victor realized that it was just a tease and moved closer. "I know you hate second place, third place, mocking the entire existence of pewter medals in America at their nationals, and …."

It was the middle of the afternoon and they were both completely sober. Neither of those facts was enough to stop Yuri from reaching out to grab Victor's tie and pull him in close enough to grab his neck to pull him in closer. "Sometimes I like silver, or are we lying and calling this platinum?" His lips found Victor's though as he closed his eyes and kissed the man. 

Victor dropped his arms, letting himself relax after the initial surprise as he moved his hands to Yuri's waist. "I thought we only did this late at night when we were drunk?"

"Shut up." He stood up, only a few inches from Victor before leaning in. "I just need to hear it?"

"Hear it?" The conversation of earlier already forgotten in the kiss, Victor looked down into those beautiful blue-green eyes. 

"Am I only a rebound?" Even with the question unanswered, Yuri leaned in, letting his lips run along Victor's jawline.

"You …" Could he honestly tell Yuri that he wasn't? He'd been with his husband for years. Was this just a desire to not be alone anymore? Was this just a replacement?

At the pause before the answer, Yuri tried to hide his disappointment. He was used to it. Being disappointed was a near constant state for him after all. His eyes dropped, looking down at Victor's chest. Did he care? Yes. Did he care enough to not do something stupid? "Just… shut up." He grabbed VIctor by the back of the head, pulling him into a crushing kiss, fingers entwined in as much of that silver hair as he could. It wasn't that he didn't care about the answer, it was that he cared too much about the man to not be willing to get hurt.

As quickly as it started, Yuri pulled back from the other man's lips, taking a few steps backward to look at him, eyes narrowed as he waited to see what the man said. 

Victor's eyes were wide with shock. Surprising people was supposed to be his thing, not Yuri's. He had been surprised by the younger man over and over again though. His hands moved up to his bruised lips. He hadn't expected that. "What do you want from me?" This back and forth kissing and making out and then avoiding each other for days was trying on him.

"I want you to notice me." It was a simple answer, but even with as bitter as the answer sounded, the truth behind it was clear.

"Yuri. I haven't been able to not notice you for years. I …" No, that wasn't true. He had noticed Yuri when he had first shown up at the rink. He had stopped noticing people though when he had been with Yuuri. All of his focus and attention had been locked on that man. He had thrived then, his attention not only obsessively given but the attention he got in return enough to make him feel as if everything had been worth it. That had ended though. 

Victor sighed, stepping towards Yuri, realizing that he hadn't thought of his ex-husband in days. "I -- I can't get you out of my mind." The truth was whispered. 

"Do you want to?" For all that Yuri tried to sound as if the answer didn't truly matter to him, it was more than clear that the answer was very important.

"No … I want …" What did he want? What could he tell Yuri? Thinking was so hard as he wrapped his arms around the man, pulling him close and into a kiss as he felt those lips, so much slower this time. He wanted this. He wanted this fire. "I want you." It was the truth, no matter how much that opened up Victor to being hurt.

"Am I just a rebound?" Yuri barely pulled back, even as he whispered the question.

"I don't think so, I -- Yakov doesn't believe me." He wasn't going to lie. If he wanted a rebound, he could have found one much less complicated than Yuri. If he was looking for a way to destroy his future then getting involved with the one man that was closer to Yakov and LIlia than anyone else would be it. No, there were much safer rebounds. If all he wanted was sex, he could have flown out to see Christophe and been invited into that in minutes. 

Yuri took a step back, his eyes focused on Victor. It wasn't the answer he wanted. He wanted a 'No Yura, I love you, I want you forever'. Yuri knew that he never got what he wanted. Victor was telling the truth, there was no lying, no hiding, just pure -- the man did not know. Did anyone ever know though, truly? Yuri let his eyes close slowly as the gripped the hem of his shirt to pull it off, tossing the fabric to the side. 

Yuri stepped forward then, knowing the jogging pants he wore hug beautifully from his hips. He reached out, starting to unbutton Victor's shirt. One by one, he opened the buttons to push aside the dress shirt. Yuri wasn't certain if it was silk or not, but he knew it was dry clean only. This wasn't like his own clothes. In so many ways, Victor couldn't be any more different from him if he tried.

"Yura, are you sure?" Victor didn't move, just letting Yuri do whatever he wanted. He knew he should stop Yuri. He knew he should tell the man this was a mistake, that it was too dangerous, that they both had too much to risk. 

Softly, Yuri sighed, letting his head tilt back slightly as he looked at Victor, his blue-green eyes meeting Victor's light blue. "They're beautiful." He didn't stop undoing the buttons as he spoke.

"They?" Victor felt his breath starting to become more shallow. All he could do was look back into Yuri's eyes, lost in the gem-like blue-green.

"Your eyes. The shade, they're … beautiful."

"You're beautiful, all of you." Victor knew he wasn't going to fight this, moving his shoulders slightly as Yuri pushed the shirt off of him, letting the expensive white shirt fall to the ground.

"Strength means nothing without beauty. That's one of the first things Lilia ever told me." Yuri let his hand move to Victor's jaw, running his fingers along the sharp lines. Age had not reduced how handsome the man was. These past few months, Victor had only improved. Now, with a home again and a purpose, the statuesque looks were back. The strength. Yuri knew he couldn't stop thinking about him -- but it wasn't just how Victor looked. No, if Yuri just wanted handsome, that would be easy to find. He wanted Victor.

"When was that." Victor's hands moved to Yuri's hair, pulling the elastic out so that those long tresses were free. Yuri really did look beautiful.

"When I came back from Japan. I was … I wasn't doing well. I was so mad. I threw myself into training, snapping at Gosha and Mila whenever they came near me. I wanted to win and Yakov wanted to prove that his career was not just you."

"Of course it wasn't, Yakov is an amazing coach." Victor didn't doubt that Yuri had been mad. Back then, everything had made Yuri mad. He was positive that the reason he hadn't been doing well though was that Yuri had been hurt, and Victor knew it had been caused by his actions.

"I know that. You know that. The press is stupid. I didn't want to think about what had happened and Yakov sure as hell didn't want to deal with my moods so he called in Lilia to capitalize on my lust to win." He let his eyes drop, frowning before he sighed, "I offered her my body and my soul. Him calling Lilia was probably one of the best things to happen to me." As he said it, he looked up at Victor, trailing a hand to the man's neck.

"She loves you." Victor knew that. There was not a single doubt in his mind that Lilia loved Yuri. Yakov loved the young man as well -- how could he not though? Yuri had fallen into the role of the devoted son.

"I know she does." He let his lips slip into a smile. "Do you want to know what she told me?" He tilted his head, knowing how he looked when his hair fell to the side like that.

"About what?"

"About you." Yuri let his lips go into a smile, his eyes half-lidded as he kept looking up at Victor.

"Me?" He couldn't help it, he reached out to brush that blond hair back, tucking it softly behind Yuri's ear.

  
"That any man should count themselves lucky to have my attention." Maybe it wasn't the most exact quoting, but it was close to the intent.

"So, Lilia thinks I am a fool?" There was a softness to the question. He didn't stop looking at Yuri for a moment, knowing how close the man was to him.

"She thinks you are still redeemable, and if you aren't -- then you don't deserve me," He leaned up, pressing his lips to the other man's. His voice lowered as he whispered, "I want to find out. Do you deserve me?"

With a sigh, Victor let himself touch. His hands moved to Yuri's waist and then down. His hands running over the tight pants as he felt the play of muscle underneath. He couldn't stop touching. Yuri's body was perfection. All the years of training had sculpted him into perfect, the curve and the strength and how perfectly that ass fit into the palms of his hands, all he could do was grip Yuri tighter. He pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together. 

Victor had been lying to himself. They were in too deep already. He wanted, desperately wanted Yuri. As the other man moaned into the kiss as his ass was gripped, Victor knew he was in too deep. He wasn't thinking of his ex-husband Every thought was focused only on Yuri. He picked him up, carrying him to the bedroom as he felt those graceful legs wrap around him. 

Once he set Yuri on the bed, he had to pull away from the kiss and just look. "Yura … you look …" He didn't have words. Half naked with kiss-bruised lips and his hair somehow a perfect mess, Yuri looked positively sinful. Whatever he was going to say, just looking at the man was enough to steal those words away.

Yuri for his part did not stay still. Instead, he pulled off his pants, throwing them to the floor so he could kneel on the bed, only wearing the tight, light blue and very short boxer briefs he had on. 

"I had been expecting black." Victor knew he shouldn't have made the comment He practically had the embodiment of his desires near naked on his bed and he was going to make comments about the color of his underwear?

"Have you seen my room? How else will I find them?" Yuri did have a point. The vast majority of everything the man wore was black and he tended to keep laundry in piles. "But if you don't like them." Looking directly into Victor's eyes, he took off the underwear, not seeming to be phased at all that Victor was still in pants. Yuri tossed them aside, smiling as he let his eyes close. 

Victor's mouth went dry as he watched. Now naked, Yuri stretched out on his bed, arching his back as he stretched his legs as he pointed his toes and raised his arms over his head to grab the headboard, knowing he looked positively decadent there in the afternoon sunlight.

Without thinking, Victor crawled onto the bed. He dropped his head, kissing Yuri's bad knee first before starting to kiss his way up. 

With a whine, Yuri proved he had no patience, sitting up to pull Victor to him, pressing their mouths together in a clash that finally became a kiss when the angle was figured out. Rough. There were so many ways to describe how Yuri kissed, and rough seemed to encompass all of them. This was no languid, slow feeling of their bodies. This was so much rougher than that, difficult almost as Victor slid his knee between Yuri's thighs to spread them.

Even as Yuri's legs yielded to the pressure, and a soft whine slipped from the man, Victor lost control of the kiss again -- then he realized. He moved back, kneeling on the bed to look at Yuri. This was no calm and placid man in his bed. No, those blue-green eyes were wide open, breathing fast and rough, kiss-swollen lips curled into a lopsided smile. For a second, doubt washed over Victor. He'd been kissing Yuri as if he were the other Yuuri. His ex-husband had been the willing partner, yielding to his every touch. He should have realized that Yuri would be nothing of the sort. No, Victor should have known what he was getting with Yuri. He should have realized that it was going to be fire and spite and all the things that drew him to the blond.

Before Victor could say anything, he was grabbed and pulled back down, lips hitting his more than kissing as Yuri whispered, "Second thoughts?"

"No -- not at all. Just the realization of what I am so lucky to have today." Leaning into the kiss, this time Victor yielded. He so rarely let anyone else take control. In the pairs skating, he was always the one to lead. When he had gone to Japan to train Yuuri, he had been the one leading everywhere. He was used to being the one in charge. No one ever challenged him -- no, that wasn't true. No one outside of St. Petersburg challenged him.

As soon as Victor yielded, Yuri deepened the kiss. His arms wrapped around Victor's neck, he pulled the man in to claim him. It was rough and hard, but Yuri was relentless in how he kissed. Even with as commanding as Yuri kissed, he pulled Victor down on top of him, legs spreading to wrap around Victor's thighs. 

As soon as he was pressed to Yuri, every nerve in Victor's body felt as if an electric charge was passed through him. Even with his pants on, there was no hiding how hard Yuri was. With only the fabric of his pants between them, Yuri bucked up, his hard erection pressed against Victor's own. This was nothing like Victor had fantasized about at night, but at the same time, it was absolutely perfect. He broke the kiss, whispering into Yuri's ear, "What do you want?"

Victor felt more than saw Yuri's lips move to a smile. A delicate hand slipped between the fabric and Victor's flesh to grip him tight, almost too tight, but Victor couldn't stop his hips from bucking up into the sensation. 

With a nip to Victor's lips, Yuri whispered, "This." 

Victor thrust up into that hand again, even as he tried to get out of his own pants. He desperately wanted less fabric between them. As soon as his pants were halfway down, he felt Yuri's legs move as the younger man helped get him undressed -- but that was promptly forgotten. With a twist of his wrist, Yuri dragged his palm over the head of Victor's cock, the sensitive head exposed as Victor was palmed by the man. Even with as aroused as Victor was, it wasn't enough. 

Suddenly, the hand was gone and Victor would, of course, deny it, but he whined at how the loss felt. The sound was cut short as he saw Yuri lick his own hand. The younger man lapping at his hand, getting every but if the palm and every finger wet with saliva.

Eyes locked onto the younger man, Victor didn't move, waiting for what Yuri was going to do. Then he felt it. Yuri's hand wrapped around both of them, spit-slick flesh struggling to hold both of their cocks with one hand as he started to stroke. 

It had been ages since Victor had done anything like this. Everything felt amazing. Yuri's fingers wrapped around him as their erections were pressed together sent shocks through his body. He stopped thinking, instead, his hands finding Yuri's hair as he let his fingers tangle in those long blond locks as his hips moved, shallow thrusts against Yuri as he added to the friction of the man's hand.

Finally, Victor was able to gain control of the situation with Yuri pinned under him. He moaned as he felt Yuri's free hand reach for his back, feeling how those strong fingers gripped at him as their bodies found a rhythm together. If this was what Yuri was ready to give, Victor was going to take it and cherish it.

Soft moans escaped Yuri as the younger man closed his eyes, shivering under Victor from the sensation. Every sound muffled by the kiss. Finally the desperate of the kiss was lost as something calmer was found. Victor exploring and tasting as he felt how Yuri finally yielded to him. It had been so long since anyone had touched him. The nights Victor had spent fantasizing about Yuri paled in comparison to having him there. Every moan, every movement, and especially how he worked Victor's dick in his hand made thinking so hard, resisting so hard.

He broke their kiss, his lips brushing along Yuri's cheek as he whispered the warning of how close he was. He didn't expect how Yuri grabbed him, holding him tighter as he pulled him into him and his thrusts up became fast and shallow.

Victor knew he stood no chance of holding out, whispering how good he felt like a mantra against Yuri's neck. Then he felt it. Yuri tenses under him, back arching and a moan escaping his throat in an almost painful gasp. Then he felt how Yuri's cock pulses, hot liquid coating the man's hand and making a mess over both of them. That was all it took. Victor'sfragilel hold on his control was lost as he thrust against Yuri, spilling across the other man's hand and stomach.

The next thing Victor realized as that he was still trying to catch his breath, but now he was on his back next to Yuri. His own stomach hadn't escaped the mess, but right now, Victor didn't care about anything except how amazing that had been. Then, as he looked over to Yuri, Victor once again forgot to breath. There he was, licking his fingers clean. That pale flesh still flushed, but eyes wide with excitement.

"You're beautiful." It was the only thing Victor could think of to say. He hadn't expected that, he hadn't expected anything. This, this had been so much more than he had thought possible.

Yuri just smiled at the compliment, grabbing his T shirt to clean them both -- or mostly clean them. It wasn't perfect, but in his opinion, it was close enough. "I'm tired."

Disagreeing with taking a nap at three in the afternoon didn't even occur to Victor, instead, he just nodded.

  
"We'll order food when we wake up." Yuri was smiling more as he leaned in to kiss VIctor, pulling the covers up over them. He didn't want to admit that he hadn't been sleeping well. He didn't even care if it was likely that Victor would figure that out with how quickly he fell asleep once he was able to curl up against the other man.

In only a few minutes, Yuri was sound asleep and Victor was holding onto him as he looked up at the ceiling wondering exactly how this had happened.


	18. Falling apart

Even as Yuri's breathing calmed, Victor's heart was racing. This, this hadn't been his plan, not at all. Maybe it had been in a few of his dirtier dreams, and maybe he had desperately wanted this, but now, having Yuri in bed with him, all his doubt's ran rampant through his head. He tried to calm down. Up close, Yuri couldn't hide what he was going through -- and Victor damn well knew what it looked like to use concealer to hide the dark circles under your eyes -- and no matter how skilled Yuri was at makeup, Victor could see when he was this close how exhausted the man was.

He sighed, careful to not wake him as he let one arm hold onto Yuri and the other grabbed his still poodle adorned phone. He wasn't going to be able to sleep, not knowing that they hadn't talked about this at all -- and in fact, their last face to face talk had gone so poorly. If he had screwed up everything between him and Yuri by giving in to his lust ... he didn't know what he would do.

The first thing that popped up on his phone was an image of Yuuri and Minami at some competition with another skater in Japan -- he didn't want to see that. Even if he knew things were over with his ex-husband and he was in bed with … he guessed Yuri would qualify as his boyfriend, it still hurt to see that Yuuri had replaced him so quickly. Often, emotions didn't have a lot of overlap with rational reactions, and this was one of those times. Back then, he had thought that he had found love and a reason to enjoy life. The times he had spoken to Yuuri about life and love flashed back through him, leaving an empty feeling as he remembered how all of that was gone now.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he knew he had to sort out his thoughts before Yuri woke up. He needed to know what he wanted to say if he was to have any chance of actually saying it correctly. With a slight repositioning, it was easier to type on his phone with one hand in the new position. The only person he could truly trust the opinion of right now was one of his oldest friends. He didn't want to open himself up more than he already had, but the risk was worth it if it would save Yuri from any pain, and Victor damn well know how much pain he brought to the other man. Time and time again, he had caused so much paint to Yuri. The only person he could trust to help him make this right was Christophe.

> << Are you busy?
> 
> >> Are you OK?
> 
> << I think so
> 
> >> What happened? Is it Yura?
> 
> << You do know me, don't you?
> 
> >> Do you want me to call you?
> 
> << No … he's asleep

Victor watched his phone, giving time for that to sink in. He didn't think Yuri would be too upset at Chris knowing details of their relationship, well, maybe he would, but Victor knew he needed this.

> >> What happened?

Victor knew that had probably been rephrased a couple of times, possibly one with the word 'fuck' in it, but Victor appreciated how it was worded.

> << Yuri picked me up at the airport, and …
> 
> << we came back to my apartment and one thing led to -- we didn't stop this time.

He didn't want Christophe to think it had come out of nowhere, but Christophe knew that. Victor couldn't hide from Christophe the fact that he had been infatuated with Yuri -- at least infatuated, probably something much more.

> >> And he fell asleep?
> 
> << He's exhausted, Chris. He works himself so hard. I worry about him.
> 
> >> He does. How do you feel about this?
> 
> << I …

Victor sighed as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to think of how to continue that.

> << I'm so worried about hurting him.
> 
> << He asked me if he was just a rebound for me…
> 
> >> What did you say?

That was the problem. Without even really saying anything, Christophe managed to highlight everything wrong with this. That his best friend had to question his intentions -- it hurt, but only because it was so true.

> << That I didn't know. 
> 
> << I can't lie to him again, Chris. I can't do that to him.
> 
> >> And he still slept with you knowing that answer. 
> 
> >> He's an adult Victor. At some point, you have to trust him to know what he needs and wants.
> 
> << That's the thing. I don't trust him to think of himself first.
> 
> << Yuri is shit at putting himself first and if he thought this is what i needed …
> 
> >> You think he slept with you just to make you feel better?
> 
> << I don't know.
> 
> >> Victor. There is one thing I know, and that is that Yuri wants you. 

Softly shaking his head, Victor knew that wasn't the problem. No, it was much worse -- or maybe much better.

> << No, that wouldn't be a problem
> 
> << He loves me.

Softly Victor let his hand trace along the back of Yuri's head, just barely letting those blond tresses wrap in his fingers as Yuri moved even closer to him. Placing an order for a local delivery service to arrive at 6, he set his alarm for thirty minutes before that before pulling up the blankets to cover both of them.

> >> Are you sure?
> 
> << It's Yuri. It's why Lilia and Yakov are being protective of him. They realize it too.
> 
> << I don't want to hurt him.
> 
> >> Be careful
> 
> << It's too late for that. All I can do now is be honest
> 
> << Thank you -- I needed to talk to someone about this.
> 
> >> If you need me …
> 
> << I know Chris. You've always been there for me, even when I ran away from you.
> 
> >> You're forgiven. I missed you.
> 
> << I missed you too. 

With that, Victor set his phone on the nightstand, letting his eyes close. Even if he didn't sleep, he'd at least get some rest, and with how hectic the skating season was going to be, rest was something he needed to take whenever he could get it.

* * *

Yuri had barely woken up for the alarm and missed hearing the doorbell when delivery person arrived. What he knew, as he stumbled to get into some of Victor's clothes, was that he was starving by the time he was clean and reasonably presentable. Victor had been nothing but gentle when they'd woken up, but Yuri wasn't ready to think about the consequences of what they had done yet. Instead, he walked out to find Victor. He paused in his tracks in confusion at the smell of food filling the apartment. "Food?"

"I thought you would be hungry, Yura. Come here, I ordered delivery so I am positive that it is delicious -- well more than if I had tried to cook at least."

Yuri walked over to the table, looking down at the containers of what appeared to be lamb in some sort of sauce. "What are we eating?"

"There's a Georgian place not too far from here that the delivery service --" Vitor trailed off though as Yuri was loading his place with meat and potatoes. Clearly, the food met his criteria -- then again, Victor wasn't sure what Yuri didn't eat.

"It's good." He hadn't waited for Victor to grab any food, instead, just grabbing his own and starting to eat.

"What do you want to drink?"

"I have to be up early, so no wine. Water is fine." He wasn't going to ask for tea. That would be too much work and the food was there now and hot, so he was too busy eating.

With a smile still on his lips, Victor grabbed two bottles of fancy water from the fridge to bring them over to the table. He didn't say anything as Yuri raised an eyebrow to look at him. "You have a fancy refrigerator with a built-in filter and you still buy -- no, never mind, thank you for the water." Yuri opened his bottle and took a gulp from it. "This is delicious."

"I figured if I ordered something that Yakov would like, you'd like it too." There was a little smirk as Victor finally cut into his own lambchop.

"What are you trying to say?"

"That you both love food that Lilia might sigh and disapprove of, so if I thought of something like that -- but that was still on your meal plan, then you'd be happy."

"Well, I'm easy to make happy. You could have thrown a bag of leftover McDonald's at me and I would have been happy."

Victor couldn't hide the face he made at that.

"What's that face for?"

"You live in Piter, why would you eat that when anything else is better?"

Yuri just rolled his eyes at that, "What are you going to try to be my coach and tell me it's not in my food plan."

"Well, it isn't."

"And I haven't followed my food plan ever."

"Maybe I'm not the one you should tell that to, since I'm supposed to --":

"No, you do not get to tell me what I can and can not eat, Vitya." Yuri dropped his eyes for a second before looking over at Victor, "Besides -- I clearly do not see you as a coach."

"Really?" There was a hint of a smile as Victor looked over at Yuri.

"I don't sleep with _my_ students. I don't know what you normally do these days …"

"Hmmm, what do I do these days? It appears that I get picked up at the airport by my co-coach, and then end up in bed with him?" He wasn't sure if Co-coach was what he should use as a term, but he sure as hell was not going to call Yuri his assistant.

"Co-Coach?" Yuri actually put down his fork, tilting his head as he watched Victor very carefully. It was clearly one of those questions that seemed simple but wasn't.

"Mmm hmm. I mean, if you're looking work relationship. Yakov seemed partial to the term trophy boyfriend." The risk of a joke there was clear.

The response was just laughter as Yuri smiled, "Well, you always did like to get the gold."

"That -- that is what he said."

"Really?" Shaking his head, Yuri sipped his water, "I didn't think the old man had it in him to joke."

"I don't think he was joking. He did call you the prettier trophy boyfriend." Now there was a hint of a smile.

"Honestly? Yakov does actually have good taste sometimes." Yuri let a leg reach under the table to set his foot in Victor's lap. "So … " He was trying to cover his awkwardness, but not doing the best job of seeming comfortable, "what term are you partial towards?"

Victor slowed down, carefully chewing the bite of food in his mouth as he watched Yuri. What did the man want? What could he give? What did he want to give? "I suppose if I asked you what term you were partial towards, you'd simply counter that you asked first so I was the one that had to answer?"

As soon as Victor saw Yuri's lips press together, thinning in the same displeased expression Lilia often had, he knew he had answered that very very wrong. He took a quick breath, and then, trying to save things added, "I'm not good at this, I -- spent too many years walling myself off. I didn't want people to see the real me and reject me. You -- you've seen the real me." He frowned more.

"You aren't allowed to wall me off." The tone in Yuri's voice had become tenser. In his younger years, Yuri would have yelled and threatened, this was not far from a threat.

"What good would a wall do with someone who already knows everything on the other side?" Victor tried to smile at him, sighing as his lips just would not cooperate. The fake smile he would have plastered to his face at even the roughest of press conferences was gone. He couldn't wear that lie when it came to Yuri.

"Lovers? Boyfriends? A secret?" Yuri tilted his head as he looked at Victor, trying to keep the hurt from his tone.

"How about ...." Oh, it was clear this wasn't going to be what Yuri wanted. "You can tell Otabek, I … I told Christophe, and we just keep it to …. Those closest to us while we --" He paused. He knew that look. Every hint of any softness was gone from Yuri as he sat there looking at Victor. The fire in those eyes had grown so cold that it burned like a sharp winter wind.

As Victor's shoulders slumped, he looked up at the ceiling, "I don't want to hurt you, and … that's all I do, I am …"

"Don't you dare say that you are sorry. Don't you dare treat me like that." Palms on the table, Yuri stood up, glaring across the table to Victor.

"Don't leave!" Victor was on his feet, walking towards Yuri.

"Why not. I'm such an idiot."

"No, no you are not. You're not an idiot. You -- " Not knowing what to actually say, Victor closed the distance, wrapping his arms around Yuri as he held onto the other man. His eyes closed, he felt the half-hearted struggle, then how Yuri relaxed into the embrace. Finally, as Yuri exhaled and leaned in, Victor let his lips brush across that soft blond hair. "Stay?"

A nod was the only response, not yet willing to trust his voice to speak.

"Why don't you get a nice hot shower?"

With another nod, Yuri turned, slipping from Victor's grasp to walk to the bathroom to do just that.

* * *

With a splash of water, Yuri sighed. How did he end up in Victor's bathtub this often? For once it wasn't saturated with Epsom salt, but still, the hot water relaxed his sore muscles. Sighing again, he reached for his phone, thankful that not only was it waterproof, but so was the case.

> << I had a fight with Victor

He knew Otabek would get the message quickly. He knew that Yuri had been going to the airport to pick up Victor, and he knew the long list of stupid things that Yuri had done after picking up Victor at the airport.

> >> What did he do?

Oh, what did Victor do? How did Yuri even begin to answer that?

> << Well, we went to his place after the airport.
> 
> >> Why?
> 
> << Because I wanted to
> 
> >> What happened… tell me.
> 
> << So … well, we were talking

Yuri paused, knowing Otabek wouldn't take just that as an explanation.

> << Well, I asked him if I was a rebound
> 
> >> Are you still trying to …
> 
> >> You can do better. I mean, you have shit taste in men.
> 
> << I know
> 
> << I don't know
> 
> << I want him
> 
> << So I asked him if I was a rebound.
> 
> >> What did he say?
> 
> << He didn't exactly answer. So --
> 
> >>This is the part you say you left so he could think about that …
> 
> << So we started kissing and there were hands…
> 
> >> Just do NOT have sex with him! You know how you get.
> 
> << So ….
> 
> >> You had sex with him
> 
> >> After he didn't tell you that you weren't a rebound?
> 
> << He told me I was beautiful
> 
> >> You know I love you.
> 
> >> You know you are my best friend in the world
> 
> >> You … fuck, Yura, you deserve better than to be treated like that. 
> 
> >> You deserve someone who loves you

Yuri sat in the tub, sighing as he looked at the words on his phone, trying to ignore the tears running down his face. When he didn't reply, the phone started to ring, and instead of hitting ignore, he actually answered it.

"Beka? Am I stupid?"

Any anger that there would have been at Yuri's actions disappeared as soon as Otabek heard how broken that voice was. "I'm flying up."

"It's almost the skating season."

"I don't skate until the Cup of China. It's fine. I'll grab tickets and be up there by the time you get out of class tomorrow." The concern was clear, more than clear.

"Should I stay here?"

"Where is here?"

"I'm in Victor's bathroom."

The sigh on the other end of the conversation was almost too soft to hear. "Why are you in Victor's bathroom?"

"Because after we had a … fight over dinner, I was going to leave, but he asked me to stay."

"I think you should go home."

"I asked him if he was my boyfriend."

This time the sigh was clear. "I'm buying my ticket right now, I'll be at your apartment right about when you get home from school, or are you staying at Lilia's?"

"My place. I …"

"I know, you care about him so much. You always have." Otabek's voice softened as he spoke. "If he isn't ready to be your boyfriend, then he isn't ready for you. I'll be there soon."

"Yeah. I -- you're right. I can't do this. I can't stay here. If he's going to -- I'm not going to be some secret. If he isn't ready, he isn't ready. I am going to get dressed and go home." Yuri's voice didn't sound half as certain as his words did.

"Text me, call me, whatever you need to do. I'm just going to make sure my parents know where I'll be and my coach. It'll be fine." Honestly, his heart was breaking for his friend and the distances between them sucked. He wanted to be there now. Yuri -- Yuri had always been so special.

"I will. Thank you -- I -- fuck Beka, I mean, how do I thank you for everything?"

"You're my best friend. You don't have to." There was a little smile to the tone though, he knew how much he meant to Yuri. "I've missed you. We'll have pizza, watch Netflix, and bitch about Victor."

That brought out a laugh from Yuri, "You know I am really good at all three of those things."

"You are the best at all three of those things. I'll see you soon?"

"I'll see you soon, text me when you land and I'll text you when I leave school."

With the call ended, Yuri let himself lean back in the tub for a moment. Yes, going home was the smart thing.

Getting redressed and throwing his hair up, Yuri took a deep breath as he made up his mind. He knew what he had to do. He opened the door to the bathroom and walked out, seeing Victor in the kitchen putting away leftovers. "I'm going home."

"I'm sorry."

"I am going home. Beka is flying in tomorrow morning." He held up a hand, stopping VIctor in his tracks as the man tried to walk over.

"I --"

"No. If you don't want a relationship, this was a mistake. Yes, it felt good, you're amazing at kissing, but -- I don't want this, whatever this is. I deserve more." Yuri grabbed his bag from near the door, and barely pausing to get his shoes on, walked out the door.

Victor was left standing there, watching as the door closed behind the younger man. Every word he had wanted to say was stuck in his throat, the words unwilling to leave his body. He stood there, watching the door, wishing for that door to open and for Yuri to have changed his mind, but knowing that the man wouldn't. He knew what Yuri wanted. He knew the words he needed to say to keep him -- but he didn't know if he believed them yet. Of all the things that he knew in the world, he couldn't lie to Yuri. He couldn't say 'I love you' or 'Will you be my boyfriend?' -- he couldn't even tell him that he wasn't just a rebound. Maybe this was for the best. He didn't deserve Yuri. Yuri really did deserve better.

Maybe he should have called Christophe and talked this over. He knew what his mistakes were and didn't need to hear them. It hurt so bad. It had been a while since he'd drowned his feelings in a bottle of vodka, but not doing something to dull this pain was unthinkable.

* * *

The next day, Yuri woke up and went through the motions of his day. If he stopped and thought about everything, he knew he'd break down. He couldn't think about how Victor looked as he left. He couldn't think about the devastation in that man's eyes. He couldn't think about how it broke him to walk out the door. He couldn't think about how long he sat in his car before he was finally able to start it and drive home. He had almost gone to Lilia's, but that would be a mistake. If he had gone to Lilia's, he would have ended up telling her everything, and he didn't want that -- not yet.

He didn't want Lilia to know he had had sex with Victor -- it was bad enough she knew that he had made out with the man. Kissed of course didn't even begin to touch what the two of them had done. He didn't want to disappoint her more than he already had.

Instead, he had spent the night alone in his apartment and wandered through class like a zombie. He knew Otabek was on his way to the apartment, the text that he had landed had almost been an hour ago. He'd texted Lilia and Yakov that he'd be a little late to the rink, but he hadn't told either of them about Otabek's visit yet.

When he reached his apartment and saw someone standing out front, he didn't pause. He ran the rest of the way, throwing himself against Otabek as he gripped his best friend as tightly to him as he could.

Otabek let out a breath that he hadn't even realized that he had been holding as he twirled once. This used to be so much easier when Yuri had still been shorter than him, but at least the man bent his knees so the spin was possible. "Missed you."

"God, I missed you so much, Beka. I -- fuck!" Yuri just wrapped him in another hug, closing his eyes and feeling how perfect it was to have him there.

"Come on, let's get into your place and order some food, I'm starving." There was happiness in his voice that Otabek didn't even try to hide. Maybe he hadn't needed to fly up to see Yuri, but he sure felt a lot better seeing the other man with his own eyes.

Fumbling with his keys, Yuri opened the door to reveal the place looked more or less exactly how it had been the last time Otabek had been there.

Yuri didn't want to talk about Victor -- at least not yet. After he texted Yakov that he wasn't skating today, the two of them setup the Xbox and ordered pizza. Not talking about it was maybe not the best thing, but having a few hours where Yuri honestly didn't think about Victor was good for him. 

That night, his diet plan ruined and with a short term ban for language on his favorite MMO, Yuri fell dead asleep with Beka. He had class in the morning, and he couldn't miss another day of skating, but that was fine -- he had Otabek there for a few days, and VIctor would be flying off to the next competition on Wednesday anyways. He could do this.

Yuri didn't know that Victor didn't bother to go home that night. Instead, the man spent the night in the office, curled up on the couch that was too short to be comfortable and wrapped in a blanket that still smelt like Yuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I finished this up earlier than I thought I would so I was able to get it posted before my flight in a few hours :)
> 
> Writing is still slow with the hand, I see the specialist after I get back to town from spring break! BUT still hoping to get a lot written in the middle of nowhere on vacation :)


	19. Too much time alone is never good

The next day, Victor arrived at the rink without having heard a word from Yuri. Yuri wasn't 'needed' at the rink, at least not when Lilia was there -- and the day before she had been there with Yakov. He assumed she didn't know about the fight, or what had happened before the fight since she had seemed as if nothing was wrong. Today was different. The moment he saw Lilia and Yakov walk in, her green eyes were on him and her eyebrows furrowed in a way she so rarely let them get. He tried to ignore it, staying on the ice and warming up in preparation for skaters to begin arriving. Since university classes had resumed, Yuri would be in class until sometime in the afternoon. He just had to get through one day. Tomorrow, he was flying off with some of the Juniors to yet another competition. They'd be by in a few hours for final run-throughs before being sent home to do any final packing before the trip.

Victor managed to avoid Lilia until lunch. It was a one hour break where he was able to retreat to the office and eat something -- quickly. He understood why Yuri ate so many protein bars, getting up early to make a lunch to bring was not something he enjoyed early in the morning, but he couldn't deal with eating bars all day like Yuri either, so a packed lunch was a necessity. 

Normally, the office was empty. Yakov and Lilia would both leave in an hour when his break was over to have their own lunch, but today, as soon as Victor opened the door to the office, he saw Yakov sitting behind his desk. 

Victor had barely closed the door before the hash words escaped his former coach, "What did you do? What happened with Yuri?"

"We had a disagreement on Sunday." No, it wasn't the truth, but he really didn't want to tell Yakov the truth, at least not the whole truth. "What did he say to both of you?"

"He didn't say anything. He hasn't been near us since whatever happened with you, and that is not normal, and you know it." Yakov narrowed his eyes, "I take you that you are not on his private twitter account or friended by it? Follow? Is that the one you follow -- whatever it is…. So you do not know what he has been up to?"

"No, I don't -- we aren't …" He stopped where he was standing, looking down at the floor as he sighed. "I was never … given that."

"I see." Yakov didn't elaborate, just carefully watching Victor's body language.

"I know you think I don't care about him, that I'm just using him … that I'm … still in love with my ex-husband. You're wrong though. I do care about him. I am not just using him and … I don't know about that last one anymore. Maybe. I don't know. I have not lied to Yuri. I know he doesn't trust me and I have given him so many reasons to never trust me in his life -- but Yakov, I care …" He couldn't look at the man, his eyes focused instead on the couch. That couch that Victor knew much too much about. Yuri had had sex on that couch. Yuri had spent tear-filled nights alone on that couch. Yuri had spent exhausted nights on that couch being a better son to that man than he himself had ever been.

Slowly, waiting for whatever harsh words Yakov would let loose, Victor walked over to pick up the blanket he had neatly folded there. As he sat down on the cushion, he pulled the fabric up to his face, breathing in deeply. Yakov, Yuri, himself -- it smelt like all them to some degree now. "We had sex." Three little words that Victor had not wanted to tell Yakov, but he had to. If Yuri was hurting and pulling away from everyone, he had to take whatever blows would come to him -- as long as it meant that Yakov and Lilia would be able to be there for Yuri.

"I see." Yakov sighed, bridging his fingers together as he rested his elbows on his desk. "And things afterward went … poorly."

"It was my fault."

"Somehow, I doubt it was only your fault, Victor."

"Enough of it was my fault, and if he's shutting himself off from you and Lilia… He's not used to being alone, not anymore. He is used to having a family."

"And you aren't?"

The simple reply caught Victor off guard as he drew back, looking at Yakov and pausing before speaking. "No -- No, I … not anymore. I'm …"

"You two are so alike." Yakov stood up, taking his hat from the desk to place it back on his head before grabbing his cane. "He isn't alone though."

"But --" Victor stood. If Yuri wasn't alone, who was he with? Had he gone to stay with Mila? Maybe he had other friends that Victor didn't know about.

Yakov didn't say another word as he opened the door and Victor heard unfamiliar music being played over the ice. Lunch forgotten, he followed Yakov out, walking along the hallway until he saw the ice wasn't empty right now like it should be. Two forms were moving in tandem on the ice, on copying the other perfectly separated only by a few meters. The blond hair of the one making the skater's identity obvious, but then Victor saw the other skater's face and he stepped back. Otabek Altin. Yuri's best friend.

The program they were skating was not one of the ones Yuri was doing this year, but the choreography had the man's fingerprints all over it. Without saying a word, Victor walked to the boards of the rink, holding onto the wood even as Yakov left them. The program was -- not beautiful. Yes, it was amazing and yes it was artistic and yes it was so many other things, but the masculinity and the power were so different than what Yuri was doing this year. This was different than anything he had seen Yuri skate, but for Otabek, it was perfect. The precision and force behind the movements spoke of skill and power. Even seeing the version where the jumps were only marked, Victor knew Otabek was going to have another amazing year.

Both skaters froze in their ending pose. Otabek's figure stiffer, but radiating a powerful regal presence. Yuri, while managing regal, still held such grace and fluidity. Both were amazing, but the program was geared towards Otabek's strengths.

Victor was about to speak when Otabek saw him there, those brown eyes smoldering with rage as he looked at Victor, but the Kazakh skaters held his tongue.

Yuri looked over, rolling his eyes at Victor. "Beka and I are going to be working together today. We'll try to not take up too much of your ice." With that, Yuri skated to his friend, taking a hold of the man's arm to lead him to the boards away from Victor, speaking in a low tone with the other man.

All Victor could do was sigh. One day. He just had to get through one day of being forcefully ignored by Yuri and glared at by Otabek and then he'd be gone until Sunday when he flew back from the competition. As he saw Otabek put an arm around Yuri, pulling the other man close -- and no, it didn't seem to matter that Yuri was now significantly taller than his best friend, Otabek still acted the same. It was as if their friendship had retained so much of their first meeting, but Victor would be a fool if he didn't acknowledge how much it had grown over time.

The jealousy Victor felt when he watched Otabek with Yuri held an extra layer of hurt. He was jealous that Otabek got to touch Yuri and be close like that, but at the same time, it reminded him that he wasn't as close as he had once been to Christophe. He'd let his time in Japan weaken his friendship with the man. He might not be able to fix things with Yuri, at least not now and maybe not ever. Christophe, however, was answering his phone calls and was open to regaining what they had once had.

He couldn't watch Yuri be with Otabek any more. Yes, he knew Yuri insisted they were only friends. Seeing another man whispering to him with his arm around him like that -- it hurt.

> << Chris? I … hate to ask you for a favor…

Victor paused as he looked at his phone, walking towards the office. He didn't feel hungry, but he knew he needed to actually eat the lunch he had packed.

> >> What is it? You know you can ask me anything.
> 
> << I know it is the start of competition, but -- would you want to visit?
> 
> >> Visit?
> 
> << Yuri and I had a fight and … He is taking some space while I … think things through

While that was the truth, it wasn't the full truth. Victor knew there was no way that he'd be able to actually tell Chris what happened over the phone. Were they still close enough that he could ask this favor?

> >> When do you want me?

Victor found himself blinking at how fast the offer came. He hadn't expected it. He had hoped for a yes, but to get an unconditional yes like that -- it surprised him.

> << I am flying to a competition tomorrow, and fly back on Sunday.
> 
> >> So Sunday?
> 
> << Could you?
> 
> >> Of course.
> 
> >> how long do you want me there?

Victor sighed. There had been no pause. Either Chris's husband was right there and they were able to quickly talk it over, or Chris was making the decision on his own. Then Victor realized it -- he thought that was strange. On some level, he had changed his thinking. He'd spent so many years worried about offending or upsetting Yuuri, that it had become second nature to not take actions without asking and talking things over first.

> << I fly back out the following Wednesday.
> 
> >> Sunday to Wednesday. I'll be there.
> 
> << Thank you

Victor had no idea what he had done in his life to deserve Christophe, but he was thanking whatever had brought the man to him. God, fate, luck -- whatever it was, Victor knew more than ever before how much he needed a friend right now.

> << I have a lovely guestroom you are welcome to and anything else I can do
> 
> >> It will be fine, Victor. I'll send you my flights when I get them.
> 
> << Thank you, Chris, thank you so much
> 
> >> Of course. If you need anything before that, all you have to do is ask.

He had managed to not shed tears when Yuri had left. He had managed to keep his eyes dry when all alone. He had managed so much without a tear, but that -- that was too much. He had no idea what he had ever done to be blessed with a friend like that. He had to pull himself together though. He couldn't stay in the office crying. Skaters would be here any minute, and he would be expected to be training them. Brushing the tears away, Victor managed to grab his phone, not letting himself reread that last line since he knew it would only bring those same feelings to the surface again.

> << Thank you

With that, he shoved everything back down and went out to do his job - ignoring the looks from the two skaters on the far side of the rink. He had work, and he needed to give Yuri space.

* * *

That afternoon, neither Victor nor Yuri noticed how Yakov stood at the boards of the rink, looking from one to the other. He knew them both so well. Yuri was obvious. The young man was hurt. He always wore his emotions where they were so obvious though. That he had called in Otabek was a good thing though. As the two worked on the far side of the rink, Yakov saw how much Otabek kept his attention on Yuri, and it was not just when working on choreography. No, he knew that the two cared for each other. When Otabek's father had been in a serious car accident, Yuri had dropped everything, to fly to Almaty. When Yuri's grandfather had passed, Otabek had actually reached Moscow almost an hour before Yuri was able to get there. They had been there for each other so much, that Yakov had assumed the relationship was more than it was. It was an easy misunderstanding, the two men so close to each other. Right now, he knew Yuri needed that. If it were anyone except Victor causing this pain, he'd be screaming about how horrible anyone who broke Yuri's heart was. It was Victor though, and not only did he love Victor, but on the other side of the rink, Victor was teaching landing techniques and trying to not look like he was hurting. Yakov knew the signs. He knew what Victor looked like when he tried to fake being fine. It was bad though, Victor wasn't even trying to fake happy. He knew he couldn't fake happy, so Victor was only trying to fake fine -- and even if his students believed it, Yakov didn't believe it for a second. So there Yakov stood, looking from Victor to Yuri, not knowing what to say because both of them were hurting so bad. Maybe it was good that Victor was leaving in the morning with some of the students and would be gone a few days. Maybe some distance would help. In two weeks though, the people leaving would be Yuri and Victor and those two being trapped together in such close proximity for those days … Yakov was worried.

"Vitya! I think that is enough for today. Send them home to pack and meet me in the office." He ignored that Yuri had come to a stop and was watching from the other side of the rink. He ignored how Otabek skated over to Yuri and placed a hand on the man's shoulder. He ignored the confusion in Victor's face.

Without another word, Yakov walked up to his office, sitting down in the chair as he rested his cane against the desk. He knew Victor would be here soon. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to the man when he got there though. As the door opened, he looked up. Even Victor's hair looked like it had given up, the bangs laying flat over his one eye. "Sit down."

"Of course." Victor walked to the couch, sitting on it as he picked up the blanket he had folded there earlier.

"I can get someone else to take Yuri to the competition in two weeks."

"No. I will do it. We can be professional. I -- " He paused, taking a deep breath before letting it out. "If I was able to be professional and function at events with my ex-husband while we were getting divorced, I am sure Yura and I can manage at least that same level of decorum." He didn't look up from the floor though, just letting his eyes stay on the floor.

"What you did and did not do with Yuuri Katsuki is not the issue here. We are talking about Yuri. Are you sure that you will be able to …"

"Yakov. I told you. If I could fake it for that, I can fake it with Yuri. I would never do anything to sabotage him. He's been through too much shit. He has been hurt by too many people, I -- I hate that I hurt him, but I will not abandon him, not again. I already have disappointed him for one skating season, I will not be doing that again."

"But it isn't just about him being hurt. You're hurt as well." It was a simple statement, one that caused Yakov to intensify how carefully he was watching Victor.

"I -- I need time and space, and he's giving me that. I called Christophe. He's flying in on Sunday to stay a few days, to make sure I am OK when I come back from the competition."

"Good."

"Good?" Victor looked up, the confusion obvious in his face.

"Yuri isn't the only one who has spent too much time alone. Friends are amazingly good. That both you and Yuri took the same step, to contact the person who you can trust, that will be there for you like that, it's a good decision. Both of you made a good decision. Time and space? Is that what you truly need?" Maybe it was, Yakov had never been a time and space person. Every moment away from Lilia had been horrible and had he thought he had a chance of getting back together with her, he would have moved the heavens, not just called her in when he knew he had a skater that needed her."

"I have hurt Yura so much, I -- how I have treated him in the past has been inexcusable. I find it hard to believe that he is willing to forgive and accept that, but he is. I know he is, because he said he was, and it is Yuri. He values honesty more that … I mean, it's Yuri. I can't lie to him. I can't tell him I love him if I am not sure. I can't tell him he is not a rebound if I am not sure. I -- I know the truth hurts him, but I know he'd rather be hurt by the truth than be placated with a lie." With that, Victor let out a sigh, letting himself breath in the blanket for just a moment. He missed lying next to Yuri, to wake up with the man there, to fall asleep playing with that blond hair. To hear him, so full of life, as he moved around his apartment. Not being near the man hurt, but Victor knew being near him would hurt even more.

"I see … If you change your mind about being able to make the event, tell me. I have many favors that can be cashed in to have someone else act as Yuri's coach. You know the man doesn't truly need someone there -- but …"

"I know. He doesn't need me. It's another way the two Yuri's are different. That first year, Yuuri needed so much. He was so nervous and so prone to overthinking. Yura though, he never needed the handholding, and he's hit bottom and come back from it. I just -- what he has done to come back from the injury, it's -- incredible. I mean it, Yakov. I don't think I could have done the same. I wouldn't have. I would have been too vain. To go back on the ice knowing I was not as good as I was the day of my injury, that I'd never recapture that same level …"

"Don't underestimate him, Vitya. He's only been healing for two years. We didn't think he'd ever skate again at all, let alone -- you saw what he can do. I thought he was lucky he could still teach single jumps at the rink, but when I saw …. No, Victor, I have learned do not estimate him and I have also learned to not underestimate you."

Yakov stood up, taking ahold of his cane as he moved to the couch to sit next to Victor. "I have learned to not underestimate you either. You're strong, my boy. You have a good heart."

"No, no I do not, I have hurt so many people…."

"I did not say you always make the right choices. I said you have a good heart." He reached out, setting a hand on Victor's shoulder and then bringing his hand closer to the man's face, using his thumb to move Victor enough that he could see his eyes. "You are not a bad person. If you were a bad person, you'd tell Yuri whatever it is he wanted to hear and he'd believe you. The boy loves you, and I know how stupid he can be when he is in love. He'd believe every word you told him and give himself fully to you, ignoring any warnings anyone gave him. He's done it for men who he didn't care about as much as he cares about you -- so of course, he'd do it for you as well." Recounting Yuri's failure of a love life was not in his plans though.

Yakov sighed softly, still looking into Victor's eyes. "You are not doing that though. You are being truthful, even when it is the truth neither of you want to hear, and that means so much, my precious boy. You are a good person. I believe in you."

Yakov wasn't surprised at all that the next thing he knew, Victor's arms were wrapped around him as the man hid his face on the same shoulder he had cried on so many times as a teen and a young man. All Yakov could do was be here for him, no, be here for both of them. They needed to figure things out on their own, but he couldn't let either of them suffer more than they had to while they figured it out. Whichever way this went, Yakov knew he loved both of them and always would.

Once Victor left to prepare for his trip in the morning, Yakov moved back to his desk. Love. It was such a precious thing. He missed having Georgi around the rink. Victor and Yuri could so easily get lost in the competition. Georgi had never let any of them forget that skating was about more than that, without the emotion it was hollow. Love and Life. Yakov remembered how Victor had spoken of those years ago at the wedding. Neither one of those happened without pain, at least not in Yakov's experience.

* * *

That night, Victor was lying in bed, knowing he had to go to sleep -- his flight was early in the morning. He couldn't though. His thoughts kept moving back to Yuri as every word that Yakov had said floated through his mind. He was holding his phone, watching a video of Yuri's free skate when he decided -- he knew what he had to do.

With a deep breath, he pulled up a different video, still Yuri's free skate, but not from this year. The last year where Yuri had been skating, his program had placed his triple combination at the start of the first half. It was a smart place to put it, mathematically. So far that year, the quad at the start of it had been the toe loop. It was a good quad, and Yuri always had a nice GOE on it. It was a toepick-assisted jump though, and not as high scoring as some of his other quads that he could do.

For his jump at the end, the flip wouldn't have been what Victor would have encouraged him to change the jump to. He knew how hard that move was, especially that late in the program. He knew his ex-husband had the stamina for that, but Yuri had never had that level of stamina. Yes, the man could push himself. Yes, he could give more than anyone thought his body physically could. However, the slight difference in points wasn't worth the risk, at least in Victor's mind. He had ever done a quad flip so so late in his program. He hadn't had to though. The envelope was pushed every year, and what was new the year before became old.

Why the flip though … this time, Victor listened to the commentator … the Russian commentator. He hadn't had this when he had watched it live. His stream had been the Japanese commentary.

Starting with the warm-up for group four, he listened carefully, "Yuri Plisetsky is in first place after the short program. His score of 111.62 is well below his previous high score for a short program from his senior debut. Of course that year, his program had been choreographed by Russia's own Victor Nikiforov, multiple Olympic gold medalist, five-time consecutive world champion, and the most decorated figure skater in recent history." 

Victor was watching Yuri so closely as he listened to the commentary, then he realized something -- for the warm-up, Yuri had an earbud in. While some would think that it was his program music, Victor suddenly realized that it was not. Yuri had been listening to exactly what he had been listening to. Every second where the commentator had spoked of Victor and downplayed Yuri's achievements, the man had tensed up more and more. Maybe he was wrong, but he didn't think he was.

As Yuri skated off the ice when the warm-up ended, he saw him start talking to Yakov -- and while Yakov looked annoyed (which was normal) it was clear he was arguing with Yuri (which was not as normal. Then he saw Yuri move to the waiting area, ignoring Yakov as he did. Then the camera went to the first skater in the last group. He was almost certain that was when the jump decision was made, and that thought caused his stomach to feel like a pit.

In the relatively random order of things, Yuri was going to be last to go -- which looking back on it, probably was best. It meant no one had to follow that tragic fall. He watched as Yuri stormed onto the ice, still clearly mad, but trying to appear determined. At least this program was not meant to be serene. The scene in Juliet's tomb was tragic and brutal. He saw the determination as Yuri took his starting position, and then the music started.

Every move caused Victor's anxiety to rise. He knew what was going to happen. He knew that the perfect step sequence, that gorgeous flying sit spin combination, that incredibly intense choreography that called back to the ballet performances at the Mariinsky -- they would all be for nothing. He watched Yuri, and he saw it. Before that jump, there was that look. Oh, he knew that look. That was Yuri doing something to prove he could do it as well That was Yuri proving he was as good as … as good as Victor, no better than Victor, and that was when Victor had to put down the phone. He couldn't watch that fall again.

He collapsed back onto the bed, closing his eyes. What was he going to do about Yuri? The quad flip the man had put in his program when he had shown it to Yakov -- was that for the same reason? To prove he was as good as Victor? There wasn't anything he could do, at least not tonight to make things better.

Without thinking, he had his phone in his hand again, this time texting.

> << I hope you and Otabek have a nice visit while I am away.
> 
> << I'll miss you

He paused, looking at what he had just typed -- no, worse, just sent. He had meant to send the one. The other -- the other he had meant to erase.

> >> I'll miss you too

Victor rolled over, rereading the words a few times to make absolutely sure they meant what they said.

> << Do you want me to pick you up anything while I am in Norway?
> 
> >> No, but if you had Chris bring some chocolate with him when he flew in.
> 
> << You knew about that?
> 
> >> Yakov
> 
> << Ahh. Of course
> 
> << I thought you and Chris were getting along, shouldn't you ask him?
> 
> >> Bold of you to assume I did not already ask him and am just using you to get even more than he'd bring for just me

Victor couldn't help it, it had to smile at that.

> << Of course, I will ask him for more chocolate
> 
> << If anything comes up while I am gone…
> 
> >> I'll have Otabek here.
> 
> << I'm glad

He was glad, honestly glad that Yuri had his best friend there and that he hadn't lost all his connections he had made through skating.

> >> Go to sleep, you have an early flight
> 
> << I'm trying
> 
> >> Is there anything I can do?

Victor's eyes flew open at that. What did Yuri mean was there anything he could do?

> >> Oh god, I don't mean like that. I just had to hit Beka.
> 
> << I know. I'm … actually feeling better after texting you. I'll send you a message when we reach the hotel
> 
> >> Sleep well, Vitya
> 
> << Good night, Yura

With a smile, Victor turned his phone's screen off, rolling onto his other side to fall asleep.

* * *

After skating for a while and grabbing dinner at a cafe, Otabek and Yuri had returned to Yuri's apartment. They had thrown on a movie and that was finally when Otabek decided that it was time to bring up Victor. "Victor heads out in the morning before you get to the rink, right?"

"Yeah, an early morning flight. Him and six juniors. LIttle regional jet. You know he hates it when he can't fly first class."

"How do you feel about --"

"Oh for fuck's sake. Don't turn into a therapist now."

"Fine. Has he tried to talk to you since you let him fuck you? Is that enough of not a therapist for you?" There was no anger in the words, Otabek not even moving his arm from where it had wrapped around Yuri as if the other man were still smaller than him.

"First of all. He did not fuck me, it was more … just cocks in my hand and --"

"I don't need those details."

"What? You're the one who assumed he fucked me." Yuri tried not to smile, but he couldn't help it. He had always loved telling Otabek TMI and watching his squirm

"Yeah, because I was basing it on the other times you've told me way more than I need to know about your sex life." Sighing and shaking his head, Otabek just got comfortable again. "So, after your mutual whatever, has he tried to talk to you? You know, about feelings?"

"Not yet. He's …. He's doing that Victor thing. You know the one where he looks off into the distance and over thinks things and people assume he's having some deep thoughts but I think he's just -- I don't know." Then Yuri let himself whine. "I think he has feelings for me?"

"Yuri? If he didn't have feelings for you he wouldn't be all -- I just don't know what extent …." Otabek stopped talking though as Yuri's phone chirped. "I thought it was muted?"

"Yakov, Lilia, you and … Victor still chime." He was smiling though as he pulled out his phone, looking at the text as he read the message from Victor out loud, "I hope you and Otabek have a nice visit while I am away. I'll miss you?" Yuri tilted his head as he looked over to his best friend. "Would it be wrong to tell him that I'll miss him too?"

> << I'll miss you too

Yuri would deny that he was nervous or holding his breath as he watched his phone to see if there was a response. When it came in, he read it out loud, and his replies, this time not asking permission from Otabek.

> >> Do you want me to pick you up anything while I am in Norway?
> 
> << No, but if you had Chris bring some chocolate with him when he flew in.
> 
> >> You knew about that?
> 
> << Yakov
> 
> >> Ahh. Of course
> 
> >> I thought you and Chris were getting along, shouldn't you ask him?
> 
> << Bold of you to assume I did not already ask him and am just using you to get even more than he'd bring for just me

Yuri was smiling as he typed it while saying the words out loud and feeling how Otabek's arm tightened around him a little more.

> >> Of course, I will ask him for more chocolate
> 
> >> If anything comes up while I am gone…
> 
> << I'll have Otabek here.

Yuri smiled as he looked over to smile at those brown eyes, "I am so happy you came. I -- feel so much better about everything." Then glancing to his phone he added, "Victor says he is glad."

"I'm glad he's OK with me here, I mean -- your last boyfriend got jealous."

"Yeah, well, fuck that. If a guy can't accept my best friend then I don't want them." That Victor was evidently very accepting of his relationship with Otabek proved to be one thing that made Yuri very happy. "He should be asleep though."

> << Go to sleep, you have an early flight
> 
> >> I'm trying
> 
> << Is there anything I can do?

"You know that makes it sound like you want to have phone sex?" It was a purely offhand remark from Otabek, but he was being honest.

"What? No! I --- fuck!" His lips all crinkled up now, Yuri went back to typing.

> << Oh god, I don't mean like that. I just had to hit Beka.

"You didn't hit me?" He laughed though when Yuri did hit him for that, just a playful slap on the shoulder.

> >> I know. I'm … actually feeling better after texting you. I'll send you a message when we reach the hotel
> 
> << Sleep well, Vitya
> 
> >> Good night, Yura

Yuri put his phone back onto the nightstand and hesitantly looked at Otabek, trying to keep the hopeful look hidden.

"You like him."

"I know …"

"A lot."

"I know, I know, I know -- I --" He just sighed loudly, letting his head move to Otabek's shoulder as he whined.

"I can't believe I am about to say this." Otabek looked up at the ceiling as Yuri pulled himself far enough away to look at his friend. "You are handsome and beautiful, and I don't even like guys, and I know you are sexy. Torture him. Make him realize what he is missing out on. That's what worked for my sister. She went to classes every day at the university perfectly put together, beautiful, smiling and laughing with her friends until her husband couldn't take his eyes off of her and he finally broke down and asked her out. Don't ask him. Make him unable to not ask you."

If Yuri stopped to think things fully through, he'd remember that Otabek was single. The temptation of making sure Victor knew what he was missing out on though was too tempting -- and that was what his free skate had been all about from the beginning. His last exhibition program too -- except, unlike when he had made the programs, now Victor would have to be there, watching them, live and in person. "You are a genius. You know that right?"

"Yeah-- no, not at all, but I like that you think I am. You should go to sleep too though. You have an early day and I think we've missed half this movie dealing with your not a boyfriend."

"Not a boyfriend yet."

"We'll see." Otabek leaned over to close the laptop and then lie down, pulling Yuri into bed next to him. At least Yuri was in a better mood. It had been a successful trip to Saint Petersburg.


	20. Intermission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, not sure if this really is the halfway chapter, but this was the right time for a glimpse of what is happening in Japan. 
> 
> I have written SO MUCH since the last update, it's just mostly event and zine things.
> 
> I have a piece in the [Namida zine](https://twitter.com/yoiangstzine) I have an AU Otayuri piece in Vol 2
> 
> So that's the state of me and writing update, here's the new chapter. I hope you guys like it :)

In the main office of the Ice Castle, Yuuko and the girls had a video stream playing, watching a junior competition from Norway. None of the skaters from the skating program in Hasetsu were competing there, but several of the juniors that their own juniors would be competing against were at the competition. Normally, the four Nishigori women would be obvious about watching a stream, but for once, even Axel was quiet. The girls' eyes focused on the image even as they didn't even tweet anything -- it would not do for certain people to know that they were watching this particular competition. 

All three young girls had grown. Now, the three had just turned thirteen and were skating in Novice. Next year they would all be age eligible for Juniors, and all three were working every day on the ice to have the skills to be allowed to make the transition in their first eligible year.

Lutz leaned towards her mom, "That's him, that's Alexandr Lyashev, he's one of the top juniors this season." 

Yuuko hadn't had a lot of time to be able to watch all the juniors so far this year, but she found herself watching the young man as he skated his warm up. "That's the one you think we have to watch out for?" She never doubted her daughters' assessments of who was a serious competitor. They'd been watching skating all of their lives, they knew what they were looking for.

Loop moved closer to the laptop, "His step sequences are amazing. If he had stronger jumps, he'd be moving to seniors for sure next season. He just turned sixteen."

Axel set her juice box down as she nodded. "Everyone is talking about his choreography too. It is so put together. Rumor has it that Lilia Baranovskaya herself made his programs."

Yuuko kept watching as the young man did a triple axel when his name was announced over the loudspeakers and the cameras were focused on him. Her eyes moved from the skater to where the coaches were waiting for their charges to finish the warm-up. Alexandr's coach wasn't in focus, but the silver hair was impossible to miss. In so many ways, Victor looked exactly how he had looked when he had still been coaching in Japan. The tan trench coat and a nice, well-tailored suit -- nothing surprising, exactly how he always looked as a coach. He was alone at the competition though. She still followed his social media, so she wasn't surprised.

Everyone at the rink in Japan had known the Nikiforov-Katsuki relationship was falling apart. They'd known for a long time. The two men's arguing had never been quiet. When Victor had first moved out to Japan, it had been a perfect romance. The wedding had been straight from a magazine. Everything had seemed as if fate had finally decided that her friend Yuuri would get what he wanted -- the love of his idol. Oh, Victor had loved him. Yuuri had loved Victor, too. She'd seen the cracks in that relationship as they started to appear though. Not that her own marriage had been without bumps -- no one had triplets and escaped that with all of their sanity and patience.

While she and her husband had grown closer with the added stress of the three, high-energy girls, under daily stresses Victor and Yuri had drifted apart. With Yuuri's and Victor's retirements and transitioning from skating to coaching full time, the changes in the dynamic between them just seemed to be too much. The partnership had always had a give and take to it, but once the retirements happened, their relationship never seemed to ebb and flow correctly. Both men had been hesitant when it came to asking for things of each other, and both assertive at other times … maybe if they had ended up in counseling earlier.

That was all in the past now. Over a year ago, Victor and Yuri had begun the process of getting a divorce, both men thinking that would be easier on the other. Yuuko remembered the night the two men had met with the divorce lawyer for the first time. Afterward, Yuuri had shown up on her doorstep unable to stop crying. He'd spent that night on her couch, and it was not anywhere close to the only night he had spent at the Nishigori house. As her husband said, Yuuri was family and always would be. Their door was always open for him.

Sighing, she placed a finger on the screen where Victor was, his hands on the boards, but no hint of the smile he used to have when he had been coaching Yuuri. He looked tired. As the warm-up ended, she realized all three girls were watching her. They had not missed how she was reacting to seeing Victor so far away.

"Mom?" Axel's voice was soft. As they aged, all three of the girls had matured, acting older than their ages -- well, most of the time. Sometimes they were still overly energetic, but less so now.

"It's fine. I just --" She tried to smile, putting on the fake expression, not wanting to worry the girls.

"We all miss him." Loop stood up, walking over to grab her phone from the charger. She wasn't going to post, but that wasn't going to stop her from keeping an eye on the skater otaku discords while the actual programs in Norway were underway.

"Miss who?" The voice from the hallway caused all four of them to jump. 

Eyes wide, Yuuko slammed the laptop closed. "No one. We don't miss anyone. You're here early." She still wasn't good at hiding things or not over-reacting.

The three girls were grabbing their backpacks and pulling out homework as if they hadn't all been huddled around the laptop just moments before.

Yuuri paused, looking at the four of them and clearly not believing them as loud steps were running down the hallways. "I found it! I did leave it in the locker room!"

"See, I told you that we'd find it." Yuuri smiled at Minami as the younger man ran towards him until he slid to a stop in the room.

Pulling on the jacket, Minami started spinning, "What do you think? It looks good, doesn't it? What do you think?" He walked into the room, his brand new Team Japan jacket on. For a moment, the young man was oblivious that they had interrupted anything.

Yuuri knew what Yuuko was hiding though. He had known her for much too long to be fooled. "Were you watching the competition in Norway?" He walked over, nothing about his body language indicating he was upset at all. Instead, he opened up the laptop and the competition came back into focus.

"Why isn't it on the TV?" Minami glanced down, looking, not realizing why they had it on the laptop instead of the office TV that was set up to play the feeds as well.

"Victor has Yakov's skaters at this one, doesn't he?" Yuuri moved to sit on the couch, and only then did Minami seem to realize and move to sit next to Yuuri.

"We don't have to watch it." Yuuko tried to keep her voice soft as she placed a hand on Yuuri's thigh. This hadn't been easy on him, not at all. Even with Minami by his side, Yuuko still worried.

"He doesn't look good." The words were out of Minami's mouth before he had a chance to think. That was not exactly unusual though for the young man. He still looked so similar to when he had first skated against Yuuri on the competitive circuit. He hadn't grown much since when he was eighteen, still short with the one tooth that was a little askew. His hair was just as wild. Instead of the front fringe being red, now there were streaks of red through all of the blond and it was a little shorter, but he still looked so similar.

"He looks tired." Yuuri frowned as he watched Victor give his skater a few last words of advice. The first skater in the final group was headed to the kiss and cry so Victor's was about to head out onto the ice for his free skate. The Russian junior was in third as he took the ice, and it was clear the boy was nervous as Victor tried to reassure him. The camera panned from the coach to the skater though, and Yuuri was unable to keep assessing his ex-husband. 

The music started, a program so stereotypical at first for a skater from St. Petersburg. Tchaikovsky, of course, but this was different, and Yuuri ended up watching. The way this skater moved, this was … familiar. "Who did the choreography?"

"It isn't credited. The discord thinks it was Baranovskaya." Loop was the first to answer, her sisters nodding in agreement.

"No …" Yuuri narrowed his eyes as he sighed, "It's Yurio."

"Yurio? Didn't he retire or something after his accident?" Minami's hand was on Yuuri's shoulder as he leaned in to watch the Russian junior. It was a good program. Not as good as what he did of course, but for a junior… maybe it was a little impressive.

"He's working with Yakov. That's why he was the one to call Victor when Yakov ended up in the hospital." Yuuri sighed as the program on the laptop finished. It really was beautiful.

"He … I haven't talked to him in a long time." Yuuko dropped her eyes. She used to text the younger Yuri all the time. He would text her back with random things, some personal things. She'd gotten so busy with the ice castle and the girls getting older … but was it really an excuse? "I should call him." She didn't, not right then. Randomly contacting someone after you hadn't talked to them in years was hard and not something she could do right now.

Yuuri reached out as he placed a hand on Yuuko's shoulder. "I haven't either. Maybe -- Minami is assigned to the Rostelecom, we could invite him? Maybe all of us go, we could invite him out to dinner, maybe at one of his favorite places?"

She smiled at him, "That sounds good."

"Uhhh …" Lutz looked from one sister to the other before looking at Yuuri, "Wouldn't that be bad in case Yurio gets a spot at Rostelecom?"

"What?" Pure confusion at that from Yuuri. "He's retired. That accident --"

"You didn't see the video from Switzerland?" Loop shifted in her seat, trying to figure out form the others what to say.

"What video in Switzerland?"

Axel shook her head, pulling out her tablet to hand it over to Yuuri, the video already queued up.

Yuuri took the tablet, but he paused, realizing he had just missed most of the program they had been watching. The young man was waving to the crowd as flowers were thrown onto the ice. He grabbed some flowers, still waving as he skated to the kiss and cry where Victor was waiting for him.

As he had a million times, Victor handed over the skate guards to his skater and put the young man's Team Russia jacket over his shoulders. Then they were sitting on a bench in front of a banner for the event's sponsors. Victor's arm around the young skater as he talked to him, most likely about his performance.

As the young man nodded, he looked up as both he and Victor saw the scores for the program. Everyone broke out in cheers as the young man broke his previous high score by over twenty points. The clear excitement from the young man was tempered by his calmer but still happy coach. Alexandr was in first place, with only four skaters to go. It was a good position to be in.

As the camera cut to the next competitor, Yuuri hit the button on the tablet. He didn't want to deal with his emotions at seeing Victor coaching for Russia. As Minami moved closer, a warm and comforting presence on his side, Yuuri let his focus move to the tablet. The setting was the rink in Switzerland. It had been ages since Yuuri had seen it in person, or even in a video, but he knew it on sight still.

The video showed Yuri in black practice clothes, covered head to toe in black, only the pale skin of his face and his long blond hair exposed. Even his hands were covered in black gloves. The only thing breaking up the smooth lines of the skater was the knee brace he wore.

"He's skating with a brace." Minami was frowning, his lips curled up in a disapproving look that honestly, Yuuri always thought was so cute. 

"It could be just for…" Yuuri still mid-sentence as he saw Christophe's husband skate to where Yuri was, his arms moving to the blond's waist as he leaned in, whispering something to Yuri that the covert recording had no hope of catching.

Then they both started moving. It was hard to hear the music for the program, the quality of the video leaving a lot to be desired, but the movements were beautiful. Every move of the program and Yuri was pressing into the other man's hands. It was clear that Masumi Giacometti was struggling to keep up. He wasn't meant to be the focus. No, this was not a pairs skate, and Yuuri had no idea why Masumi was there, but the program Yuri was doing, Yuuri very much knew about that type of skating. "Has Minako seen this?"

"I don't think so." Loop was the one to answer him, confused.

"Why would you want her to see it? He's not even paying attention to what he's doing as he skates, it doesn't have … pep." Masumi was frowning, his brows furrowed as he looked at Yuri skating on the screen. He had never really understood how people were so captivated by the young man. Compared to Yuuri's skating, he never understood how the other Yuri had beaten Yuuri that year.

Yuuri sat up as the choreography really started up, watching Yuri's hip seem to pull the rest of his body irreverently across the ice as if nothing was worth the blond man's attention, lost in his own world with eyes barely open. His arms fluid as he languidly flowed through the steps, but oh, how his head rolled back onto Masumi's shoulder at points. Yuri was clearly no longer a teenager. The irritable teenager had grown up into -- Yuuri didn't really have words. The only thing he could think to say, "He's beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Minami looked at the video, then to Yuuri, "It's not sexy like you can skate." This was not the Eros of Yuri's old short program. It wasn't even the sculpted flow of his old free skate. Yuri's movements seemed to mock the idea of seduction, removed from such concerns as the blond skater moved as if every move of this program was inseparable from his very existence.

"No one knows the jump composition yet." Axel had her phone out, scrolling through forums. "Rumor has it that the first jump is a combo, triple axel to a double loop, but I don't know. The last three long programs he did had both his combination jumps in the second half."

"But he has his knee braced …" Yuuko's voice was full of worry.

Lutz shook her head, "And he is skating mirrored. He's left-footed now." She was looking from one to another, amazed her sisters hadn't said it and surprised that Yuuri and Minako hadn't mentioned it.

"He what?" Yuuri looked closer, concern clear as he saw the final beautiful spin of the new free skate. "I thought the video was flipped…" No, it wasn't. The writing on the wall of the arena was perfectly readable. This was not mirror imaged. Yuri had changed which foot he used in skating.

"Why would he do that?" Minami knew he was being too loud, only settling down when Yuuri placed a hand on his hip, pulling him in to relax a little. He settled even more when Yuuri's lips brushed over his forehead.

"I think the leaked X-rays are real." Axel looked at her sisters, knowing they disagreed.

"There is no way those are real. It's probably someone that hates him leaking that to make it seem like he can't make a comeback." Loop didn't believe them for a second.

"It's really unlikely they're real. I mean, Loop has a point. If that x-ray was real …" Lutz was the youngest, and she hated when the sisters disagreed, but she agreed with Loop on this one.

Axel let out a deep breath before growling out, "Yuri could overcome that."

"Stop it, Axel!" Lutz yelled, "We're not six anymore!"

"Lutz! Be nice to your sister!" The correction coming from Yuuko in an instant.

"She's -- Yurio!" Eyes narrowed as Lutz yelled the name at Axel.

"Stop it! Don't call him that!"

Yuuko pulled back, a hand over her mouth as she tried to figure out how to help her daughters and process that the sweet nickname they all called Yuri was the weapon that Lutz had used.

"I hate you both!" Axel was up and running out of the room and Yuuko jumped up. "Lutz, Loop, don't you dare go anywhere, you had better both be here when I get back!" With that, she went running after Axel.

Yuuri sat there on the couch, looking from one girl to the other even as he gripped Minami's hand tighter. "I … Minami, watch the girls." He stood up, needing to get out of there. It felt as if his heart was gripped in a fist that was slowly tightening. He needed to get out of here, running to the locker room to escape. _Why was everything falling apart now? It was supposed to be healing. The divorce was over. Why did seeing Victor hurt? Why did seeing Yuri hurt? Why was there so much fighting? He was supposed to be happy with Minami. Minami loved him so much, but why did everything hurt?_

His back to a wall, Yuuri slowly sunk down to the floor until he was sitting there, phone clutched in one hand and his hands over his face as he tried to hide his head against his knees. Tears were freely flowing and his entire body shaking as he didn't know what to do. All he wanted was to be happy. All he wanted was a family and to be loved. Why was everyone fighting? Why did everything hurt? It felt as if it were all his fault. The triplets were even fighting with each other.

Yuri couldn't look up when finally he heard the door to the locker room open and soft footfalls walk over to him. Minami was smaller than him, but that didn't stop his boyfriend from sitting next to him and then pulling him tight to his chest. He felt Minami's chin on his head as he was held close, everything settling down until it was just their heartbeats -- Minami's calm and steady, his own was fluttering. He concentrated on his boyfriend's heartbeat, his own eventually stilling as he let himself be grounded in the other man's arms.

"None of this is your fault." Minami sighed placing a kiss on the top of Yuuri's head.

He didn't argue. He knew some of the fault was his. Victor didn't carry all the blame. There was the guilt for this relationship as well. He had moved on so fast -- it was hard for some people to understand. The end of his marriage, it had been so rough. When it came to living in the same house as Victor, but separate lives, living under the same roof had been so hard. No one blamed him -- no that wasn't true. Yuuri blamed himself for how he had found comfort with Minami.

Just because the papers hadn't been signed, that didn't mean the marriage hadn't been over. They'd been legally separated, it wasn't as if he had cheated. He still felt guilty. That didn't stop him from sitting up just enough to lightly kiss Minami's lips, whispering, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I want to be here, with you. I've -- I've wanted this for so long." He'd learned to calm a little from his younger days, but that bright look in his eyes, that admiration for Yuuri, that desire to fight against anyone who said anything bad about Yuuri -- even if that person was Yuuri himself -- still burned. "I love you."

Yuuri knew that was the truth. Minami loved him. Minami loved him with all of his being, and deep down, Yuuri knew how he needed that. "I love you, too." He let himself lean against Minami, the smaller man's warm body comfort as they stayed there, alone in the locker room as the panic attack faded. He loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone for the comments. They really do mean so much. I'm a little behind in replies. I'm still limited by the hand as it heals (Doctor said it could be up to a year for a full heal) but it's much better now.


	21. Friends, food, and missed connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, as anyone that follows me on twitter or here knows, I had a LOT of stuff go up this month. Now though I am down to ONE commitment that is close aside from these WIPs, so they are back to getting full attention.
> 
> I wanted to say one thing about the previous chapter. I felt bad posting something that so did NOT focus on Victor and Yuri and felt people wouldn't like it, but I really needed to write it. It's a lot more important to the story than I was ready to admit -- so many little glimpses of this world happen there, so if you skipped it. It is beneficial.
> 
> As always twitter is the best place to get a hold of me :)

A few days with Yuri was exactly what Otabek had needed. Of course, he had flown up to spend time with Yuri because Yuri had needed it, but maybe he had needed this too. He'd been spending so many of his days going from his apartment to the rink to his apartment and to the rink, over and over in an ever-repeating cycle. Since he had graduated from school, he didn't have much of anything going on in his life that wasn't ice skating anymore. He still did DJ -- only sometimes. School had gotten to be too much and he had cut back on the music, and for some reason, he had never really picked it back up once he graduated. This was an Olympic year, and yes, it was still so very far off, but he had the responsibility of being the only male skater from his country that had ever been there before. He was already feeling the pressure. Not the same pressure Yuri felt.

"Hey." They'd been working for hours on the ice, and he knew that if he didn't say something, Yuri wouldn't. "I'm hungry." Otabek stretched his back, feeling how it popped as he looked over at Yuri.

"Oh, uhh … Lilia is out with her book club tonight so …"

"We could go out?" There were a million places to eat, and Otabek was determined to get Yuri to agree to one of them.

"Sure. I mean, why not. What do you want?" He started to skate over to the gate to get off the ice. With so many of the higher level skaters with Victor at a competition, they were the only ones left at this hour.

"You deserve a cheat day." Otabek gave him a smirk as he said it. Yuri deserved something 'bad' for once.

"Oh like my coach would …" Yuri trailed off as he thought about it for a moment. "Technically ...."

Otabek just let his lips move into a smile as he saw Yuri thinking about it. "It'll be fun."

"Lilia is going to kill us." That didn't stop Yuri from hurrying to the locker room so he could change into normal clothes. Once again, his very diminished stockpile of clean enough clothes was pilfered so he could slide into one of his favorite pairs of jeans. He wasn't an idiot, he knew his ass looked good in the denim. "There aren't too tight, are they?"

"Yes, Yuri, I'll make sure to get a picture of your ass in those so you can put it on social media and torment Victor." Otabek wasn't even going to pretend that he didn't know what Yuri had actually meant by the question.

Laughing, Yuri grabbed a T-shirt from some Khazahk band that Otabek had given him a few years ago, pulling that on to look at himself in the mirror before pausing, "Oh, Vitya is going to kill me." The smile was dangerous as he rummaged through his 'good' locker for the white button up that was part of his free skate costume.

"For wearing a shirt?" While Otabek was fluent in so many ways that Yuri could be trouble, putting on a button up shirt was a new one.

"For wearing his shirt."

"Oh … oh ….." All Otabek could do was shake his head as they got ready before getting into Yuri's car to drive to the one place that Otabek knew he could get Yuri to consume a month's worth of calories in a night.

An hour later, Yuri and Otabek were at one of the restaurants that Lilia, Yakov, the team doctor, and basically every responsible adult had pointed out was not on Yuri's food plan. Otabek had faced the same when people had found out he had been there as well.

> [Picture of Yuri and Otabek, arms around each other's shoulders and smiles on their faces. In front of them, causing Yuri to have his arm extended as long as possible for the picture are two absolutely insane milkshakes. One is covered in peanut butter, fudge, peanut butter cups, and rock candy. The other is even more intricate. The crowning glory on it was a giant piece of chocolate cake with purple and blue frosting. It only got worse from there. Gummy sharks and gummy bears. ]
> 
> Best idea for where to run off for dinner after skating. These things are bigger than our heads! Season starts soon so we have to get our misbehaving in now!
> 
> Going to be on the ice all day tomorrow skating these off. #vacationinpiter #bestfriends #donttellourcoaches

After posting, both young men laughed, grabbing spoons to actually consume the milkshakes they were certain to be in trouble for. Then again, if the worst trouble they got into involved dairy excess, both of their coaching teams should consider that a huge accomplishment.

Both of them were tagged on it, and it only took minutes before other skaters were replying to it. It was the banter of friends talking about a silly post, and perhaps one of the most normal things that Yuri had done in years.

"You know, I think this was a very bad idea." Yuri didn't stop eating though.

"Why?" Then Otabek paused. "Oh…"

"Yeah, I didn't think that through." He looked over at Otabek, shrugging a little. When everyone else had made private accounts the rest of the skaters knew, Yuri had been injured. He hadn't made one that the other skaters knew. He had his very secret account which hardly anyone knew, and he had his very public account that had just announced their location to every last follower. Tens of thousands of figure skating fans had just been informed of where Otabek and Yuri were eating.

"Are we going to run?" He knew how much Yuri hated the crowds and his fans. He's rescued him from them before. He didn't have a motorcycle though. They just had Yuri's car.

"You know -- no. Let's not. I was giving Victor shit for not putting enough on social media the other day, so -- yeah. Let's just see what happens. The words were barely out of his mouth before his phone chimed.

> >> You know you posted that on your public account?

Yuri smiled as he glanced down at the screen, a big bite of the cake in his mouth as he chewed, enjoying the absolutely over the top and sinful dessert. He tapped at Otabek's ankle with his foot as he held out the phone to show his friend.

"Really? He's texting you that fast and it's about what account you used not the seven billion calories?" Otabek moved closer, looking at Yuri's phone as the young man answered the text.

> << Mmm hmm. It was a mistake but we're going to make the best of it
> 
> << I mean I have to start using social media more, don't I? Especially if I ever want sponsors.
> 
> >> Sponsors? All they do is take up time.
> 
> << And pay

"Does he really not realize you need sponsors?" It was a never-ending challenge for Otabek, even with how successful his family was and being the top skater in his country for years.

"It's Victor, he has no clue. He thinks you just smile and someone pays you thousands to wear some sunglasses." Maybe it was a little harsher than the truth, but Yuri honestly didn't know.

> >> You don't have time to deal with sponsors
> 
> << Well, I need money for new tires for my car

"What are you playing at?" Otabek knew that Yuri wasn't that cash strapped. The man hardly paid for anything ever -- and he did get paid for teaching skating and dance.

"I'm … testing."

"You're fishing."

"Fishing, testing, whatever. I want to see what he says." Suddenly Yuri's expression was much too serious for someone that had a milkshake the size of the one he was eating.

"What do you want him to say?" Otabek gave his own milkshake a look, yeah there was no way he could eat all of that.

"I don't know …" Honestly, Yuri didn't know. Part of him wanted Victor to offer, to just take over and make it so he didn't have to worry about money. It'd be nice in some ways to have someone walk in and take care of things.

> >> How bad are the tires?
> 
> << Umm, they'll be OK for a little bit?
> 
> >> OK, when I get back, we'll look through my old sponsors. I still have connections with the people that make your blades. I'll talk to them.
> 
> >> They'll be the least amount of additional work for you. It won't be a lot of money, but it'll cover tires and whatever else your car needs.

"Are the two of you have a conversation about your car?"

"I -- I think so … " Yuri would deny how much that made him smile though. It was sweet. Maybe this was what he wanted -- help but not being treated like he couldn't do it. This was Victor offering a hand, but not taking over.

"I don't think I've ever seen you like this." Otabek was smiling as he said it, picking one of the peanut butter cups off his shake to eat it.

"Like what?"

"This happy."

"I'm not happy! I'm stressed. I have classes and dance and skating and I don't know if I'm going to score high enough to get into the grand prix series and even if I do will I be able to get two assignments so I can even have a chance at getting to the finals or am I too late already… I should have started this months ago."

"I didn't say you weren't stressed, Yura. I said you were happy."

With a soft smile on his face, Yuri looked back at his phone, typing out a text without arguing any more with Otabek about it.

> << That sounds good. Not a rush, we can do it when Chris isn't around
> 
> >> Or you could come over when Chris is around
> 
> << I thought you wanted to spend time with your friend?

As Yuri typed to Victor, Otabek just sat at their table, watching his best friend smile at his phone. Maybe this wasn't nearly as bad as he had thought it was. Yuri was happy.

> >> That doesn't mean you can't be there sometimes too?
> 
> << Would you like that?
> 
> >> Of course

"You're blushing."

"I am not blushing." Yuri tried to duck his head a little more into the collar of the shirt so Otabek wouldn't see the flush to his cheeks -- of course, that didn't work.

> >> That shirt looks very good on you by the way
> 
> << It was a little chilly so I just thought I'd throw it on over what I was wearing
> 
> >> Of course.

Yuri knew that Victor didn't believe that for a second.

> >> Enjoy your time with Otabek, I've taken too much of it already.
> 
> << Miss you
> 
> >> I miss you too.
> 
> >> Be nice to your fans when you leave
> 
> << I am always nice to my fans
> 
> >> I know you are
> 
> >> Enjoy your cheat day
> 
> << Goodnight

"OK, now you are both just stuck in some saying goodbye loop." Otabek was chuckling though as he read the conversation.

"We are not stuck saying good night." As if to prove his point, Yuri shoved his phone into his pocket.

"So … this is a real relationship if he wants to spend time with you and Chris at the same time." Otabek tilted his head as he looked over to Yuri. "Just go slower?"

"We've been … slowish…"

"You've been slow for you."

"Beh-kah! What is that supposed to mean?" Yuri tried his best to sound like he had no idea what Otabek was talking about.

"Realy? Do we need to talk about your the last guy you dated?"

"Ehhh … that was one mistake." Yuri sighed as he looked at the half of his milkshake that was left. He wanted it. It was down to the milkshake part, the cake and the candies had all been eaten. He knew drinking the rest of the milkshake was a bad idea.

"OK what about the love of your life before that?" Otabek shoved his not even half eaten shake away from him -- he was not going to make a stupid mistake and try to finish that.

"OK … I … he …" Yuri whined at that as he looked at his shake. It was so good though. Lilia would crack down on his after tonight. If he wanted this, he had to have it now. "He was really hot."

"I know he was hot. The thing is …" Otabek let his words trail off.

"He wasn't single…" Yuri sighed as he reached out to take his milkshake in his hands.

"Yeah …" Otabek frowned at that, but added, "Victor is single."

"He … like you said, he's only just signed the papers." Yuri just stared at the shake, frowning at it.

"Hey, don't get like this. You didn't know that guy had a boyfriend." Now Otabek was more concerned, he knew exactly how Yuri got when he had 'feelings'.

"Two boyfriends." He took a hold of the shake, looking down at it.

"Yura, that just means he was really good at lying. You weren't the only one he tricked." He knew it had been a stupid thing to bring up. He knew he shouldn't mention it, he knew how Yuri got. He knew how the man internalized everything and make it his fault. He knew it, why had he …

"I should have realized." The words were hollow as Yuri just held the slowly melting shake.

"Lilia didn't know either. No one knew. What, are you supposed to do? Hire a private investigator every time some guy tells you he likes you?" Otabek sighed, reaching out to just pull Yuri to him, thankful they were in a back booth. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't at all your fault."

"If I hadn't wanted --"

"Yurashka, don't you do this. You know this isn't your fault and … If I could, I would go punch that asshole myself."

"I just don't want to make the same mistakes again…"

"Shh, you know Victor isn't like that. I think … I think he actually really does care about you. He's not cheating on you."

Yuri actually huffed at that, "As if either of us has time for cheating. We don't even have enough time to have a relationship. I -- I'm being stupid, aren't I?"

"A little, but I still love you?" Knowing most of the emotional meltdown was over, Otabek leaned away a little. "And -- you're kinda cute when texting him."

"Are you … approving?" He tilted his head as he looked at Otabek.

"Look, if this was five years ago, I'd kidnap you until you said this was stupid. This isn't five years ago. This isn't even before your accident. This is now. I think I can get behind this. You're a lot more mature than five years ago. You've been holding everything together here and taking care of Lilia and Yakov and school and work and … you have a great career as a choreographer and … I mean Victor is … Yeah, I approve." He smiled at Yuri, the smile only growing at how stunned the other man looked.

"Really?" He hadn't expected it. After all the phone calls, after all the warnings and cautions … Otabek was saying that he approved.

"Yeah. Just go slow. Please promise that you'll go slow. Don't lose track of what you want to accomplish. Just -- yeah. He isn't cheating on you. He doesn't treat you like crap."

"I know, my standards for a good relationship aren't exactly the highest."

"No .. but maybe this time will work well? Maybe it won't. I think that he does care about you and you should … let him try." Otabek smiled at him, grinning. "Just remember, you're hotter than he is."

"Beks! He has been a literal model!"

"Yeah, you're hotter. You're just busier or you'd be a model too and he had better be telling you that you're gorgeous."

"Yeah … he does," Yuri smiled as he grabbed his shake and started to see how fast he could suck it down. He was not going to waste it.

"You are going to get sick if you drink all that."

"Yeah, and Lilia isn't going to let me near this place again now that she knows I'll still sneak off here."

"If you get sick …" Pulled out his phone to take a picture.

> [Yuri trying to finish off his milkshake]
> 
> -I don't know how, but he's eaten almost that whole thing. He weighs like nothing and he ate all of that. How?

By the time that Yuri was done and they were both walking out of the restaurant, there was a crowd out in the street. Yuri stopped as they reached the sidewalk, his eyes wide as he honestly hadn't thought anyone would be there. Maybe three years ago when he was skating and still the topped ranked skater in Russia, but now … no, he didn't expect it now. No one had seen him at a competition in so long, why would they? "Beks, they still have the same cat ears."

"Uh huh. Your fans love you. They still do." He stood there, smiling, knowing that Yuri wasn't used to this anymore. Everywhere Otabek went in Kazakhstan, he saw fans. Here it was all for Yuri, a bunch of young women and girls with cat ears and handmade banners -- banners that had probably been made since the first post. Yuri smiled to see his name in the pink lettering his angels always seemed to use. "Go on, you know you should."

"Yeah …" Yuri took one step before grabbing Otabek's hand and giving him no choice but to follow him to the crowds. It wasn't the worst thing ever. In fact, it was very nice. Yuri was smiling as he reached the people and Otabek decided that his best course of action was to just grab his own phone and stream.

Otabek didn't say anything, just filming as Yuri shook hands, was pulled into hugs, posed for selfies (both by himself and with Otabek in there with him). Otabek had never understood why Yuri's fans actually adored him as well, but by the time they were on their way home, the internet was alive with pictures and Yuri had a huge smile on his face.

They ended up lying in bed together, Otabek's back to the wall and Yuri's head in his lap. Yuri had always craved to be touched -- it had just taken a few years for Yuri to get comfortable enough to accept it easily from him. Now, it was second nature. He let his finger's run through Yuri's hair as they looked over the competition this year. By now, almost everyone either had performed or had some really nice practice videos uploaded to social media.

One thing that never changed was how much Otabek loved watching Yuri watch other skaters. Yes, Otabek knew so much about skating. He came at it from a more technical approach. He didn't see it as Yuri did, and getting these glimpses into that was beautiful and something he'd never want to give up. He tried to stay up, listening to the explanations and how Yuri thought transitions could be smoother, and how he didn't like this or that about a piece of music, but it was so late.

Eventually, Otabek couldn't stay up anymore, and both of them ended up in bed, curled up. He hated how far he lived from Yuri. The man was his best friend … no, more than that. He thought of that man as his brother. This was family and so important. He desperately wanted Yuri to be happy, and he wouldn't lie. The part of the upcoming skating season that worried him was Yuri staying healthy. He had been there for all the healing. He knew how much of a risk this was. He also knew it was something the man had to do.

* * *

That night. in a small hotel room on a mattress that Victor hated, the man stretched out with his phone. He was tired, but his mind was still going so fast. Between the competition with worrying about the junior skaters, and the conversation with Yuri earlier, Victor couldn't stop thinking long enough to fall asleep. No matter how long he spent in bed, staring at the hotel ceiling, he was still wide awake.

He found himself scrolling through all the pictures from Yuri meeting his fans. They were -- honestly, Victor couldn't have asked for anything better as his coach. Yuri was more or less smiling. He wasn't looking mad. He was being hugged by so many people, and clearly so patient through all of it. The pictures of him and Otebek with the angels were sweet -- yes, Victor could see why people though those two were dating. He knew they weren't and honestly, he was so thankful Yuri had a friend like that.

He closed his eyes, holding the phone close and smiling. The last conversation with Yuri had been -- OK, maybe he didn't think eating something that high in empty calories was smart, but to think of Yuri being happy. It was worth it. Besides, he was still convinced that Yuri didn't weigh enough. Muscle would be better, but he was not going to overreact … actually….

Victor sent off a text to both Lilia and Yakov. He didn't expect a response tonight, it was late. He wanted them to see it before they said anything to Yuri in the morning.

> << Please do not give Yuri a hard time for his cheat day today.

While Yakov was long asleep, Lilia was not a morning person. She was used to late performances and staying out and always had been.

> >> We won't say anything to him, Vitya, He looked so happy in the pictures.
> 
> << He did. It's good for him. He should have some fun, especially while Otabek is here.
> 
> >> You on the other hand…
> 
> << What do you mean?
> 
> >> I'm worried about you.

Victor paused, rereading the conversation as he let the breath he was holding out with a sigh.

> >> You look tired. You should take some time to rest.
> 
> >> When does the Giacometti boy arrive?

Victor actually laughed. He didn't think he had head anyone refer to Chris as 'the Giacometti boy' in a good decade.

> << Chris gets here Sunday. My flight should land about thirty minutes before his, so we're driving to my place after the airport
> 
> >> You should bring him by Monday after the rink. I'll cook.

Victor would try and deny that the invitation made him smile, but it did. He enjoyed being treated like family.

> << Of course. I am sure he will be looking forward to it. I am.
> 
> >> Get some sleep Vitya.
> 
> << Off course. Good night.

Setting his phone aside to charge, Victor settled for the night. Yes, he was still tired, but he felt a little better.

* * *

All too soon, the week was gone and Yuri was hugging Otabek goodbye at the airport. It was Sunday, and he knew so much still needed to be done -- especially with how close it now was to his first competition after his return to skating. Yuri wasn't thinking about that at the moment. Instead, he hugged Otabek tight. "I'll miss you."

"I know. I miss you too." Maybe Otabek and Yuri didn't normally publicly hug people. That rule didn't count when it came to each other. A tight hug and then finally Otabek had to let go. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Same for you though.

"Of course." Then with a wave of the hand with the sunglasses, Otabek moved through the door to get to the security line, leaving Yuri in the main part of the airport, smiling,

Yuri hadn't just dropped off his best friend, he'd walked him in. It was worth the little parking fee to get that last hug. He was turning to leave as his phone chirped and he glanced down, concerned it was Otabek having a problem.

> >> Hey. Flight delayed. I texted Chris but he is already in the air.

Yuri couldn't stop the slight roll of his eyes as he glanced at his watch. Chris was supposed to be here in less than an hour. If Victor hadn't even taken off yet, that was a major difference.

> << Send me his flight number. I just dropped off Otabek. I'll just grab coffee at the airport.
> 
> >> Thank you!

In just another minute, Yuri's phone showed the email was forwarded to him with Christophe's flight schedule and he sighed as he looked at it. It was even less time than he had thought.

> << Got it. Text me when you board.
> 
> >> Of course, thank you again.
> 
> << You owe me coffee.
> 
> >> Yes. Yes, I do.
> 
> << I'll pick you up whenever you land too.

Yuri smiled as he went downt he stairs to where the coffee place was. It was just an offer of a ride, how Victor took it would show a lot more.

> >> Thank you, I miss you.

This time Yuri's smile wasn't hidden at all as he kept walking and texting

> << I miss you too


	22. The Giacometti Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christophe's long-anticipated arrival finally happens as Yuri's competition debut looms - but life doesn't stop just because the stress is increasing.

About an hour and a half after getting the text from Victor about the flight delay, Yuri had finished contacting all the parents of the skaters to tell them the flight was delayed, and he was on his second cup of coffee when his phone chimed.

> >> Just cleared customs
> 
> << I'll meet you as soon as you reach the main terminal.
> 
> << Victor's flight still hasn't taken off. They think they're getting out tonight though according to the airline.

Honestly, this was a nightmare. To have 5 juniors stuck in a foreign country on a Sunday night when parents would have a hard time picking them up if it got too late was never good. That his phone was starting to get weather alerts about an approaching storm was only making it worse.

Yuri stood up, walking his way over to the doors that Chris would need to come through. No one who saw Yuri would be able to tell how much he actually was looking forward to seeing the other blond man again.

"Yuri!"

Before Yuri could see him, he heard Christophe call his name, and he couldn't help but smile. He took a few fast steps and was hugging the man, a one-armed hug since Chris had a carry on with him. "Just the carry on or do you have a bag?"

"Of course I have a bag. I have no idea what Victor has planned so I had to pack accordingly." Chris laughed, everything about the man seeing so happy to he here.

"True. Actually, you should make him go someplace. The man never goes anywhere. I mean unless Lilia makes him." Yuri glanced over to his phone, frowning that there still wasn't an update. "Are you hungry?"

"We could grab something. I would have assumed Victor would have been going better restaurants than the ones you and Otabek had gone to?" He smirked as he said it, clearly fishing.

"I told you. Victor and I are not dating, so you are not missing secret events from us not updating social media. If I'm eating something nice, it means I am at Lilia's." He hated how some of his smile faded when he explained that he and Victor were not dating.

"Hmmm, I see." Chris glanced at the luggage carousel, waiting for it to kick on as he looked over to Yuri. "You wish he was taking you out."

"News flash. I'd let you take me out because if I'm not paying, I'm happy." He forced himself to smile at that as the belt kicked on and they waited for the bags to finally show up. He was not going to tell Chris that yes, he wanted to be taken out by Victor. He knew that Chris knew, but he still had to try and deflect.

"Oh really?"

"I have high standards though. I mean, I am the gossip-worthy arm candy of the Lilia Baronovskaya." Yuri was back to a good mood now that he was talking about Lilia.

"Well, Victor says she might as well be your mother." The tease clear as he grabbed his bag off the belt.

"No, she is nothing like my mother at all, trust me on that. Lilia is wonderful, graceful, beautiful and someone I actually like." He hadn't really ever talked to Chris about his mother. He didn't have a reason to talk about her to anyone. If he was honest with himself, only Lilia, Yakov and Mila knew anything about the woman, and that was three more people than he would have chosen. She was dead though, so no point in losing sleep over that. "Besides, Lilia is an amazing cook, has incredible taste, and as many tickets to the ballet as anyone could ever want -- well, I mean, normally has good taste. She did marry Yakov, so …"

"I thought they were divorced?"

"Yes. They are divorced. That type of divorced where she announces she is his wife to the hospital, has his ring on her finger, and lets him sleep in her bed -- very divorced."

"I see." Chris couldn't help smiling as he walked with Yuri to the car. It would be some time before Victor arrived, but at least he wasn't stuck in the airport waiting for Victor to finally arrive since Yuri had picked him up.

"I guess everyone is allowed to have one mistake in their life, right?"

"Of course, especially if that mistake is an Olympic medalist skater…"

"Yakov only has a bronze. I have higher standards." Yuri laughed at that, as he popped the trunk for his car. "I cleaned my car, by the way, so you should feel honored."

"Oh, the royal treatment?" Suitcases in the back, and Chris was getting into the Leda.

"Entirely. It has nothing to do with the fact I need to haul skaters and dancers. Victor bought a new car, so at least he isn't borrowing Yasha's anymore."

"Fancy car?"

"Not as much as I thought it would be." Yuri was already driving out of the airport parking lot as he asked, "So what kind of food would you like? You had better be the one making decisions, because if I'm left to my own, I go with milkshakes as big as my head and get in trouble from Lilia."

Christophe chuckled, "Whatever you want. Nothing fancy though -- that can wait until Victor is the one taking you."

"He's not taking me anywhere, Chris." Yuri just shook his eyes as he took a turn off, knowing where there was a place close by. His phone chirped, but even Yuri wouldn't check it while driving. "Can you check that? It might be Vitya."

"What's your …" Chris trailed off as he picked up Yuri's phone to realize it wasn't locked and just opened with no codes. "It is. He says, they got moved to a different airline and have new boarding passes and will be landing at ten tonight. He said most of the kids have sent messages or called their parents, but wanted you to make sure."

"Oh, you can bet I am making sure. There is no way I am driving kids home if I don't have to, or worse, putting them up at my place."

"Oh, and he says he's looking forward to seeing you and thanked you for picking me up. Oh, and then he's all, I hope you get this before I take off. He says he misses you too." Chris raised an eyebrow at that.

"Yes yes, just type, umm … I miss you too and that I'll call the parents." Yuri paused for a moment, "Oh and also type, Do you want food when you land? -- It'll be late and by the time we get to his place and he doesn't have anything decent in that fridge."

"He says he will see you soon and that if you could just pick up something little he'd appreciate it. Oh, and he said can't wait to get home." Chris had an eyebrow up as he watched how that made Yuri smile. Oh, he had no idea why these two were not upfront about dating -- but he was starting to think that they didn't realize they were dating.

"Type I can't wait to see you. And shush Chris, it's been a long day, don't pick on me."

"Oh, I'm not going to pick on you for actually telling him how you feel -- I had thought things were a lot rougher than this."

"They are and they aren't." Yuri paused as he heard Chris's phone ding, "Is that him or your husband?"

"Oh, I talked to Misu while I was waiting in the custom's line. That was Victor. He only sent me a 'Got a flight, the flight number and the time it's landing. I see which of us was more important to text."

"Well, you're not the one who is bringing him food, and I mean a lot of that was work-related."

"Yuri, he said he missed you twice and was fishing for something similar from you in the most obvious way,"

"Well … maybe. Just a little. I like texting Victor more. I don't say as much stupid shit when it's a text and he doesn't piss me off as bad when it's a text." Yuri bit his lip a little as he pulled up to a small restaurant.

"What are we eating?" Chris stretched before getting out of the car. Even a short car ride after being on a plane was enough to make him feel a little cramped.

"It's a little dumpling place. It has really .. just food that isn't crazy or anything, and I end up here after flying sometimes. Too many shitty flights into that airport where I want food before making my way home. Normally I just grab take out while a cab waits for me, but sometimes when I am bringing kids back to the sports complex, if they're hungry, this is a good place to feed them too.

"So you took me someplace … inexpensive." At this point, Christophe was just teasing him.

"Of course I did. You're my guest, I'm paying. However, you have a husband to spoil you. I'm just feeding you." The smile made it more than clear that wasn't entirely true. The incredible smell of food coming from the kitchen as soon as they entered made it clear this restaurant was chosen because Yuri felt the food was delicious. The menu was entirely in Russian, but there were enough pictures, and Yuri was extremely quick at translating, so Chris knew what to get.

They weren't in a hurry and had plenty of time to leisurely eat. The only thing pressing to accomplish was to contact all the parents and Yuri was able to do that in the first ten minutes while sitting at the table using his phone. The food was good. It wasn't fancy, but it was perfectly cooked in the same way a favorite grandmother perfectly cooked. The meat was delicious and tender. The vegetables were flavorful. Yuri ordered an assortment of different fillings and styles, seeming to have a good idea of what type of food Chris would like -- either that or everything on the menu was delicious.

Finally, they were heading back to the airport. Yuri had a takeout container of some pork dumplings. "I'll grab him some coffee at the airport. It's late, he'll want some decaf."

"So you are bringing him food and getting him something to drink?"

"Shush. You know what it's like to have to travel with students."

"And I know how nice it is to have someone who missed you waiting for you when you get home."

"Honestly, don't believe a word Beka says, we do not say I missed you all the time to each other. Wait … did you talk to Beka about this?" The feeling that maybe he had screwed up was suddenly overtaking him.

"So, Otabek Altin says you and Victor are?" The teasing was clear as they walked into the Airport, now hours after they had last been here.

"I believe the word that he may have possibly used was 'cute'." Yuri led the way to the coffee shop, placing an order that was extremely specific before getting tea for himself and another decaf for Christophe.

"They've landed." Yuri glanced at his phone as it chimed, managing somehow to hold two cups and return a text explaining they'd be at the baggage carousel.

Maybe Yuri was expecting the crowd of parents a little more this time. When he arrived, he walked up to some people that were clearly waiting and gave them the update he had received from Victor. Then he looked over to Christophe, "And this is Christophe Giacometti. He's going to be in town for a few days. Dear friend of Victor's. They competed all the time. He's an extremely successful trainer in Geneva." With that, introductions were made and the parents were nicely asking Chris questions which of course the man was smoothly able to answer.

As the belt kicked on, suitcases appearing, parents started to gather up their children's luggage, still waiting for the kids themselves to appear. Moments later, the first of the skaters appeared, running ahead of their coach as they threw themselves into parents arms to be congratulated and welcomes back.

The last two to appear were Victor and the young Alexandr, walking side by side and chatting about something. Yuri found himself sighing as he watched. Alexandr was just a little older than he had been when Victor had first been forced to pay attention to him and walk by him at competitions. He had never had as much attention as Victor was giving the younger skaters -- but then again, Victor was Alexandr's coach while he had been a competitor to Yuri back then.

Yuri didn't even realize he had shown any emotion about anything being wrong, not until he felt a hand reassuringly on his shoulder and say Christophe looking down at him was a concerned look.

The melancholy only lasted a moment or two. Soon, Alexandr was also being greeted and welcomed back by his parents. Just a few more words and all that was left was for Yuri to hand the coffee cup and the small bag of take-out to Victor. "I got you the pork. In case you weren't hungry, they'll reheat the easiest. The coffee is decaf, and how you like it."

"Yura .." Victor moved to hug the younger man, pulling him a little closer than one would think even a close friendship would necessitate. That a quick kiss was placed on Yuri's forehead before Victor moved to great Christophe as well was not mentioned.

With Yuri pulling Victor's checked back on one side, and Christophe on his other, Victor left the airport with both of them. "I am so sorry for the delay. I just -- I didn't want to split up the kids on non-direct flights -- the storm that was making everything difficult should get here soon."

"I am sure you both are exhausted." Yuri was leading the way to the car, even if he was tired as well. "I'll get you both home." He was ignoring that already a light rain was starting to fall and the wind was picking up.

It seemed like a never-ending repeat where Yuri was walking up to his car and opening the trunk to throw luggage in -- just this time was in the rain.

"Yura." With bags thrown in the car and ignoring the rain, Victor wrapped an arm around Yuri's waist, leaning in to pull him tight. "Thank you." This time the kiss wasn't placed onto the younger man's forehead but onto his lips.

Wisely, Christophe didn't say anything about that, instead. getting into the back seat of the car before he got too wet.

Yuri wasn't complaining about the rain, not when he had Victor's arms around him and the man's lips on his, pressing him up against the car for a moment. "Yura, I missed you."

"Missed you too. We should … not stay in the rain, you'll get sick." He didn't resist at all though as he was pulled into another kiss, giving control of the kiss entirely to Victor and letting himself get lost. That they were 'fighting' was forgotten for a moment. Yuri wanted to be kissed. He wanted to be held and he wanted more. He knew he needed to get in the car though.

Reluctantly pulling apart, Victor whispered, "You're right. Thank you for picking me up."

"Anytime." The rain felt so much colder without Victor pressed up against him. He slid into the car though, starting it up as he glanced back at Chris for just a second, not saying anything as Chris's eyebrows went up for just a second. "We need to get into town before this storm gets worse."

"Yeah. It's getting worse very quickly." Victor closed his eyes as Yuri drove, exhausted, "Chris, thank you so much for coming out here. I had not thought that I'd be delayed."

"Oh do not worry, Victor. Yura here was a perfect host. Picked me up, took care of my luggage, and we went to the most wonderful little restaurant. Nothing that would get Lilia mad at us though."

"I was lucky, Yuri was still at the airport after dropping off Otabek when I called him."

"Yes yes, my entire day was at the airport."

"I didn't realize kisses were expected when someone picked you up at the airport." It didn't matter that Victor was tired. Christophe was still going to tease his best friend.

"Chris!" Victor twisted around, suddenly wide awake with his eyes wide.

"I think the kisses were for getting him coffee and food. He expects me to pick him up at the airport by this point." Yuri was just going to enjoy watching Victor overreact as he turned the wipers to the highest speed and slowed down a little. The rain was getting bad and fast.

"I didn't realize you didn't like being kissed." Once Victor realized that Yuri had joined in on teasing him about the kiss, he seemed to regain some of his composure about it.

"I never said that. I didn't realize you had decided fishing for compliments was your new hobby."

"Oh, Yura, you like the attention." Victor was smiling as he ignored the weather outside, instead focused on Yuri and how the man was driving with just the slightest hint of a smile.

"It's starting to storm even more." Chris had been watching the two, but he had also pulled up the local weather on his phone. "The weather says it's just going to get worse for the next several hours."

"Vitya? Can you email everyone to make sure they got home OK?"

"Of course. I know you worry." This time there was no teasing as Victor grabbed his phone to start sending off the messages. Yes, Yuri was worried, and Victor knew that. It wasn't something to tease about, it was actually one of the qualities of the man that Victor adored the most. "Also, you're staying. I am not letting you leave to try and make it to your place in this. Once we get to the apartment we're all staying there until this passes."

"How much further is it?" Chris had not been to Saint Petersburg in forever.

"A few more kilometers, I … might take a different route…" It was late on a Sunday though, so at least the traffic was light. Everyone had slowed down and the visibility was horrible. The wipers were on the highest setting.

"I'm buying you new tires."

"What?" Chris looked at Victor, trying to figure out where that came from.

"I was telling him that I needed new tires when we were arguing a few days ago." Yuri was concentrating too much on the road to be able to remember not to let the soft smile pass over his lips.

"Should I be worried about the tires?" Chris was intently observing Victor. He's known Victor for so many years, but he had so rarely seen him look at someone like he looked at Yuri.

"No, they're OK. Lilia … makes me …" Yuri swore under his breath as he moved to turn off the highway. "I need to take the back way." He didn't even realize he didn't finish his sentence.

Chris fell into silence as lightning lit up the sky, the storm getting worse and worse.

Finally, after what seemed to be forever, Yuri finally parked at Victor's apartment building, closing his eyes as he finally was able to relax. The last half of the drive, he had been gripping the wheel until his knuckles turned white.

"You ok?" Victor softly asked as he reached out to run a hand along Yuri's cheek. He honestly hadn't realized how badly the drive had been stressing the younger man.

"Yeah -- just -- have we heard from anyone?" He looked over to Victor, trying to shrug off the concern.

"Except for Alexandr's mom and Tasha's dad, everyone has gotten back to me already."

"Good -- umm, we're going to get soaked." Yuri looked out at the rain that was falling in literal sheets of water.

"A little rain won't kill us." Chris was popping the collar up on his overcoat to try and give him more protection from the weather.

"No way to make this suck less, let's just get this over with." Yuri threw open his car door as he popped the trunk and grabbed the top two bags. They went as fast as they could, but hauling in the luggage and rushing to the door still left them dripping water down the hallway and elevator.

Finally inside, Yuri shivered as he walked over to the window, looking at the weather. "Vitya, you should eat before your food gets colder."

"I'll just make sure Chris gets settled in."

"Eat, I can do that. I know where the guest room is." Even as Yuri said it, he walked over to grab the larger of Chris's suitcases. "Come on. I'll show you." Without waiting for Victor to disagree, he led Chris down the short hallway to show him the guest room. The room wasn't very personalized. The interior designer had been the one to determine this room should feature artwork showing the more historical portions of the city in winter.

"Thank you, Yuri. You know I will not say anything if you … do not stay on the couch." Chris set his carry on onto the bed as he opened it, pulling out dry clothes before he pulled out a small bag to hand it to Yuri, "But I do have the chocolate."

Taking the package, Yuri smiled, "Thank you, Chris. You're soaked, do you want a towel or to grab a hot shower?"

"I can just dry off." He watched carefully as Yuri grabbed a towel from the linen closet in the hallway. "I'll get into some dry clothes though. My coat mostly kept me from getting as soaked as you."

"Thank you, Chris."

"For what?"

"Just -- everything about this, and being there for him. I know I'm not exactly … easy."

"No, Yuri, you are not easy. That is not a bad thing though. Sometimes the best things in life are very difficult." Then, Chris just walked over to grab Yuri into a hug, pulling him tight as he felt Yuri stiffen for a second before he relaxed into the embrace.

"Thank you."

"You do not have to thank me for being a friend to Victor, Yuri. I'm his friend. If I called, he would do the same for me."

"I know, just still thank you." Only then did Yuri leave Christophe in the guest room, heading back to the main room to check on Victor.

The older man had stripped from a few layers of clothes. Things were spread on the back of the couch so that they could dry. He still has his wet pants on, but the undershirt was mostly dry. The dumplings were half eaten and it was clear he was tired. "Yura, I heard from Tasha's father. Now only waiting on Alexandr."

"Good." Yuri wouldn't completely relax until he knew everyone had made it home, but knowing everyone except one was home for sure, was enough for Yuri to walk over to Victor, reaching out to touch the man's wet hair as he brushed the man's bangs back. "You're wet."

"Not as wet as you. Is Chris taking a shower, if not, you should."

"I will … once I'm less worried. He's just changing into dry clothes. I gave him a towel at least." There was clearly something else that Yuri wanted to say, but instead, he set the bag of chocolate down on the counter. "Chris brought chocolate."

"Yura?" Victor whispered the softer form of Yuri's name, gentle and with such feeling.

"I sent a text to Lilia so she wouldn't worry about us." He pointedly ignored the questioning tone in Victor's whisper, instead, walking to the fridge to pull out a bottle of wine. "We should be good hosts for Christophe."

"Yura." The worry was still so clear.

"I have my first test at school for this semester tomorrow."

"Yuri!" Victor had had enough with being ignored when he was this concerned.

Finally, that was enough to make Yuri stop and look at Victor.

"I am worried about you. I -- I am so sorry for what I said. I, this is complicated, but I care so much about you. I know you know that though. If you want me to declare to everyone--"

"No." Never mind that just a week ago, Yuri would have given anything for Victor to be willing to take things between them to a more official status, now he rejected the idea. "No, this is complicated and we shouldn't rush things, but more than that -- I am making a skating come back."

"What does that have to do with …" Then Victor trailed off. He wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what people would think if it became public than he and Yuri were in a relationship. They'd assume that Victor had run off to Saint Petersburg exactly as he had run off to Japan years ago. Yuri would be compared over and over to his ex-husband. The press would rip him apart because it would be too hard for them to truly sink their claws into their true target -- the coach that had been there for both returns to competition. "They'd compare your GP attempt to Yuuri's."

"They would. It would be even worse than them comparing this season to my other seasons. I -- you know I'm not skating as well as --" Yuri didn't actually look Victor in the eyes, instead just looking down at his hands.

"Yura. Your skating is still beautiful."

"Victor. Shush." He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. He hadn't meant to call him Victor. He knew how hard that name always sounded whenever it came from his lips. Yuri took a deep breath, knowing he had to calm down. His voice softened as he whispered, "Vitya. I am worried." Yuri closed his eyes, leaning into Victor as he just let himself be held. Victor was so warm and Yuri let his head lean back, lips parting to say something, but instead of words, he felt Victor's lips on his. He reached up, wrapping his arms around Victor's neck, enjoying a few moments of privacy and contentment.

Christophe cleared his throat from the doorway, "So are you both admitting you are dating?" He walked the rest of the way to the kitchen.

"Not dating." Yuri barely paused kissing to answer Chris.

"We aren't?" Victor pulled back just a little, his arms dropping down to hold onto Yuri by his soaking wet waist.

"I had more of a date today with Christophe than I have had with you -- even if I was the one who paid."

"Is that Yura speak for 'Victor, you should take me on a date'?" He dropped his head to trail his lips across Yuri's in a soft kiss as Yuri let Victor control everything about the kiss.

"I'm too busy, and you're too busy."

Chris shook his head as he walked past the two of them to grab the bottle of wine. "I don't seem to be as needed here to patch together Victor as I had thought I would be…"

"Good. He should have you here to just be his friend, not his emergency therapist." Yuri let himself relax even as Christophe handed him a glass of wine.

Before Victor could say anything, his phone chirped and he glanced down. "Alexandr got home safe."

"Good." Yuri closed his eyes as he felt Victor's hands slip to his hips. He was so tired though. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay there with Victor, but as he glanced at Christophe, Yuri knew what he had to do. "Vitya, you two have a late morning and haven't had any time together. I am exhausted, and I have to be up early. Why don't you change into something dry, spend some time with Christophe? I'll get a hot shower and go to bed."

"Oh, Yuri? It would be horrible if we kept you up if you were sleeping on the couch." Christophe didn't even try to act as if he thought Yuri was planning on sleeping on the couch. "Wherever will you sleep?"

"Shut it, Chris." Yuri was smiling though as he leaned up to kiss Victor's lips again, "I am going to get a shower and then go to sleep, and warning, I am very very cranky if I am woken up before my alarm." He turned and walked off to Victor's bedroom, just pausing to steal some clothes before getting a shower.

Victor didn't say anything as Yuri left, sipping the glass of wine that Christophe had given him. Once Yuri was in the shower, Victor excused himself, just long enough to change from his damp clothes into something more comfortable -- and dry. Once he returned to the living room to sit next to Christophe, he could tell the man had so much to say.

"So … how are you feeling?" Christophe smiled as he asked the question. He had expected Victor to be in much worse shape than the man seemed now.

"Still pretty confused. I feel a lot better though. I … think Yuri and I are actually doing a … not horrible job of talking? I mean, not amazing, but not horrible." He gave a smile to Chris, leaning back on the couch and sipping the wine. The storm was still raging outside, but inside it was warm and dry. "But this feels good. To have you here. To know -- that I can have my friends."

"Friends are important. I swear, when we were young we knew that." Chris picked up his phone, leaning over to take a picture of himself with Victor. He never was able to resist taking pictures when he was with Victor.

> [Both men, sitting on the couch wearing comfortable clothes and holding up wine glasses with smiles on their faces.]
> 
> Finally able to relax after spending most of the day with travel delays So happy to be visiting my dearest friend in Saint Petersburg. Travel is exhausting, but his new apartment is gorgeous. Loving my vacation! Season starts in earnest soon! #Victor.Nikiforov #Viktor.Nikiforov #Vacation

"I know Chris." Victor smiled as he grabbed his own phone to like the picture Christophe had posted. "Back when we were new to seniors and just happy to have an excuse to spend time with a friend that understood what it was like to be a skater. Complaining about our coaches mostly."

"Making out. Don't forget the making out, Victor. It was very nice after all."

"And getting caught making out by both our coaches -- multiple times." Victor was still laughing as he relaxed, typing a comment in response to Christophe's post.

> || So wonderful to have Chris here. It really has been much too long. Good friends are something that one can never appreciate enough -- truly priceless.

Victor smiled more as he saw the people liking the image Christophe had posted. "I guess it isn't any wonder that someone would be jealous of us spending time together."

"It's reasonable, but … what's different, Victor? Yuri not only has no issue with me being here, but he also seems to be encouraging it in every way he can." Sipping his wine, those golden hazel eyes were focused on Victor.

"Yes … what is different, I think it is that Yuri … he understands me in a different way? Does that make sense?" Victor trailed off as he said it. "Yuri knows I will do anything to not lie to him -- up to and including hurting myself by telling him the truth." Victor sighed again. "Yes. Yuri trusts me enough to be with you." Just saying the words out loud caused a deep feeling into well up inside him.

"He loves you."

"No …"

"Victor. You can not be that blind. Trust me, I know more than a little bit about love. You've met my husband"

"I have -- not as much as I should have. I will have to fix that. But yes, maybe …" Victor was smiling even Chris laughed.

"You are always welcome, you know that."

"I know. I -- it feels good, Chris. It feels so good to know that, and you are both always welcome here."

"I know, Victor. I know - I … I am happy to have you back. To be able to do this again. We had forgotten how important friendship was there for a while."

"No Chris, you never forgot. You just are being kind and not placing all the blame on me."

"Maybe a little."

"Yes yes, Chris. I appreciate it though. I missed you. I missed this. I missed -- I missed this so much." Victor closed his eyes, appreciating the moment. This was so like so many other nights years ago when they would stay up late, drinking and talking. Then though, he would have had Makkachin with him, but even with her gone, this still felt so right.

Talking to Chris was easy. They so easily fell back into their old patterns, telling each other everything about how they felt and what was going on. He had missed this closeness. It was hours later when finally they stood up, both exhausted and the bottle of wine gone. For just a moment, Victor paused at the doorway to his bedroom and both he and Chris were able to see the blond man sound asleep in Victor's bed. A beam of moonlight illuminated the bed to show blond hair on the pillow and how the man was curled up under the blankets.

Chris placed a hand on Victor's shoulder. "I know you'll do the right thing. He's good for you. You're happier, more yourself than you've been in so long."

"You're right. I think I might love him, Chris." Victor stood there, just watching Yuri sleep.

"I know you care about him, Victor. He cares about you, too. Get some sleep." With a hug and a smile, Chris went to bed, leaving Victor to walk into the master bedroom and crawl into bed with Yuri. No sooner had he slipped under the blankets, then the sleeping man had rolled over, curling his body against Victor. Closing his eyes, he smiled. This was nice. Sleeping with Yuri was something he had missed so much, just wrapping him in his arms and holding him tight.

As the storm raged outside, Victor sighed, willing his breathing to slow. He wanted this, desperately. It wasn't just that he missed sleeping with someone, or holding someone, or not being alone. It was so much more than that. Chris was right. He cared about this man in his arms so much. With that thought, he drifted off to sleep. With Yuri in his arms, everything just felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder - To keep up to date with my writing / what's going on, my twitter is the best place [ScribblesITM](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)


	23. This is good for you, Vitya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, between crazy busy and this chapter fighting me because SO MANY things wanted to be in it -- here it finally is. It's a big one. So woot!
> 
> I have one more vacation this summer, but it's to the land of no internet where I tend to update FASTER because I'm bored :)

When Victor woke up, the other half of his bed was empty. While it was still a dreary day, the worst of the rain had passed overnight leaving just a drizzle. He didn't really want to get up, but he heard movement in the other part of the apartment. Knowing it was too late for it to still be Yuri, he got up, walking out of his bedroom in his sleep clothes to find Christophe in the kitchen making coffee. "Morning Chris."

"You look more rested than yesterday. Sleep well?" Christophe sipped his cup of coffee as he asked it, trying to make it sound innocent when no one in the apartment thought it was innocent at all.

"Yes, Yuri -- helps me sleep better. Nothing happened last night."

"Oh, I know nothing happened, which is why it is -- VIctor, you slept with him in a not having sex way, do you realize how much that means?" When Victor just honestly looked confused Chris sighed and continued, "Look, if you had him in your bed for sex, that could be just physical. I know with the two of you that it wouldn't be, but it could. Victor, that you both just slept together, curled up together I would guess -- "

"Chris…" Victor took a moment before saying anything, thinking through what he was feeling. "I should have realized anything with Yuri was complicated."

"He is not exactly the … least complicated option you had." Chris smiled even as he said it.

"No, he was not, but -- I always did like surprising people." Victor didn't even try to hide the smirk.

"You and surprising people. Yes yes. Always the surprising." Chris laughed as he shook his head, "No, you aren't surprising anyone right now. Not anyone that knows you. You have never backed away from a challenge." Christophe laughed as he reached out to hug his friend. It had been much too long.

The rest of the day was spent at the rink, although Yakov insisted that Christophe and Victor take a long lunch. With the weather still beautiful this time of year and the outdoor tables at the small cafe across the street, lunch had been amazing. Getting back to the rink to let Christophe see how all the pre-juniors were coming along as well as the juniors that hadn't been at the competition over the weekend was even better.

Before long, it was just the two of them as Victor finished a few last things in the office. Chris was sitting on the couch, legs stretched out and letting his head rest against the back. "This is the couch you've slept on? It is at least comfortable."

"It is -- which is good. Although my apartment is close."

"I assume that was to make sure you spend fewer nights on this couch?" Chris's lips slipped into a smile, "Or that with an apartment so close, it is easier to get Yuri to spend the night -- I assume also not on your couch?" His head tilted as he opened one eye to look at Victor.

"I wanted the location so it was close to Yakov and Lilia as well as work. Yuri's apartment is fifteen minutes in the other direction, so he's close to here as well."

"But you're closer to Lilia's home, so he would have to go past your apartment, past the Sportsplex and then finally get to his house?"

"Chris, I did not get my apartment with the intention of bedding Yuri." He trailed off as he said it though, trying to decide how much of that statement was true and how much of it was him trying to convince himself that he had not had some ulterior motives. "Maybe a little. I knew Yuri liked impressive views."

"The view is very impressive."

"The first night Yuri was in the apartment, he had picked me up from the airport." Victor trailed off for a second as he thought back on that night.

"That does seem to be a theme, but I am sure there were so many times that Yuri came home to no one, and I know so many times that you flew home to no one…"

"You know you're right, I don't have to confirm that. He had picked me up though, and we were at the apartment -- it was late. It always seems to be so late, and we always have to get up so early … but he walked over to the balcony and was just leaning on the door looking out at the view, everything dimly lit by twilight even that late. I had missed the summers here."

Christophe smiled as he listened to how Victor's voice softened. He could hear the fondness and gentle tones in his friend's words. "How did having him in your apartment feel?"

"Amazing. I -- honestly, Chris. I know it is rash and stupid, but I wanted to ask him to stay and never leave. Of course, that isn't what happened. After we made Yuuri a little jealous with some carefully arranged photos of the apartment, Yura fell asleep on the couch."

"You didn't want him on the couch." Chris knew that was true. He knew Victor, he had known Victor for so long.

"No -- I wanted … I wanted a lot of things that would have made our lives much more difficult. However, this is the problem." Victor took a deep breath as he looked at the ceiling. "Yuuri sent a few texts, asking for information that was no longer his right to have. Instead of telling him that I wasn't going to answer such things, I told him the truth. I sent him a picture of Yura asleep on the couch, said we were not … I don't remember exactly, but -- he's going to think I lied."

"But that was months ago. Time has passed since then, and what you told him was the truth. Besides, Victor. Pardon my phrasing here, but he has no right to tell you who you can and can not see -- he didn't even have the right to question who you were seeing."

"I know. I just worry that he could make things difficult." That was all the paperwork that he was going to get done. The rest could wait. He grabbed his briefcase to put everything away, sighing as he added, "I don't care if he makes things difficult for me. I just worry about how Yura will … I don't know how much dating experience Yura has and Yuuri brought up that … there is a sizable age difference."

"Yes. However, Yura is an adult, Victor, and you know it. He is close to graduating from university. He has a career. He has resurrected his own skating career almost single-handedly. He has his own place. He has his own life. In every way, he is an adult and a surprisingly mature one for his age."

"He never had much choice in that." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Victor realized that was almost more than he should have said. "However, Yuri's past is for him to tell, not me."

"I think someday, he might actually tell me about it. I used to find him so … hard to be around, but I have to admit, he has grown on me -- more so that he makes my best friend happy." Chris's tone softened at the end of that as he stood up and walked over to Victor, reaching out to pull the man into a hug.

"He does make me happy. I just hope I make him happy as well. I love him." Without Yuri there, it was so easy to admit how he felt. There weren't any real questions about it in Victor's mind. He loved Yuri. He didn't care if it was still early in the relationship, it was the truth.

"I think you do. In a complicated way, because why would anything with him be simple and normal?" He smiled more as the two of them walked out of the office. 

Two hours later, and both Victor and Christophe had changed clothes. While not exactly dressed up, both had put on something a little nicer for dinner at Lilia's home. Chris had only met the woman a few times, but from how Yuri had talked about her, he was very much looking forward to this chance to meet her in a less formal environment. Even at Gala dinners, she always seemed so stern, but from how Yuri spoke of the woman, Chris was certain there was a softness that he just had not been able to glimpse.

Victor drove, parking the car in front of Lilia's house before opening the door to lead Christophe up to the front door. The house was beautiful. It seemed to be older, but it was unclear exactly how old. Much of the exterior had been redone in the past fifty years or so. The part that surprised Christophe was that Victor just opened the door with a key, stepping inside and taking off his shoes.

"Lilia, we're here," Victor called as he led Christophe to the main living area of the home. It was exactly how Christophe had imagined it in many ways. The walls all had beautiful trim work, and a gorgeous fireplace was in the main room. On the mantle though, instead of just expensive knickknacks, or fancy dancing trophies, there were photos.

"She's upstairs Victor. She's putting away Yura's laundry."

"I thought he had to put away his own laundry?" There was a tease to Victor's tone as he said it.

Christophe walked over to the mantle, looking at the photos and realizing -- these were not skating photos, not entirely. While yes, there was a picture of an overjoyed Yuri with Yakov and Lilia on either side of him after a competition. The rest of the photos were much more mundane. One was those three in front of the Hermitage. Another was Lilia and Yuri before attending a ballet and both very dressed up. Yet another was those three with fireworks in the background -- a print from what appeared to be a cell phone picture Yuri had taken in selfie mode. The few other photos were more telling. Lilia and Yakov on what seemed to be a winter date was on one end of the mantle. Next to that photo, a picture of Yakov and a much younger Victor holding Makkachin as a puppy. Next to that, a faded photo of Lilia and Victor at what seemed to be a street fair. There was one photo though that Christophe had not expected at all. He picked it up, narrowing his eyes as he looked at Victor and Yuri both dressed up. Looking over to Victor, he asked -- uncertain if this was a photo of an actual date, "Victor? When was this taken?"

"When was … oh …" Smiling, Victor nodded as he looked at it. "Oh yes -- that. In June. The four of us went to the ballet together." 

"I didn't think the two of you were dating back then?"

"We weren't … we aren't." Victor shrugged, knowing that Chris didn't believe that he and Yuri were not dating now. "Then we weren't We had a nice night though. We watched the fireworks after Lilia and Yakov had gone back to the house. We ended up at my apartment, and Yuri told me I was beautiful. We kissed, he was drunk. We stayed together in my bed -- but nothing more happened. I am serious, just kissing and sleeping." He didn't say anything about the emotions of that night and the following morning.

"I'm glad you are both together now." He didn't care how much either of them denied it. The two men were romantically involved and Christophe wasn't going to let either of them deny it.

"I am glad … we are a lot closer to where I want to be now." While Victor didn't admit they were dating, he did smile fondly at the photo. "Yuri will never let me get away with calling that a date. As far as he is concerned, Yakov and I invaded his night with Lilia"

That got Christophe laughing, "You had better correct that soon. Otherwise, I think I will be hearing how you haven't taken him on a date -- a lot."

"Food is always a safe bet with him." Victor was smiling as he started to walk to the kitchen, "Yakov? Are you cooking?"

"No, Lilia -- she gave me very exact instructions." As soon as both men entered the kitchen, Yakov nodded to Chris. "Christophe. I am glad you were able to visit." While Yakov wasn't standing, in the house, he no longer used the cane as much. There was enough furniture in places that if he needed something to balance with, he was able to reach out a hand. For the moment he was sitting in a chair at the small kitchen table as kept an eye on the oven.

"It was my pleasure, Mr. Feltsman." Chris was smiling, pleased to see Yakov doing as well as he was. He had worried. The man seemed to be doing so much better though.

"Yakov. Please, just Yakov. You've known Vitya here since he was still in Juniors, you do not need that much formality." He hadn't corrected the formal name in front of the students earlier at the rink, but now that they were in Lilia's house, he did.

"Of course." Chris found himself smiling brightly as he heard steps approaching from upstairs.

"Oh Vitya, I didn't hear you come in. I just was putting a few things away upstairs." As Lilia walked, she looked perfectly put together. Her hair back in a sharp bun and her makeup flawless, if a little heavy for a night in. "Ahh, and you brought the Giacometti boy." She smiled as she walked up to Christophe, "I am so happy that you were able to make it."

In an instant, Chris found himself being greeted so warmly, his cheeks being kissed by the woman. "I am so pleased I was able to fly out and see Victor -- and Yura. To be able to visit you and Yakov and see your lovely house is simply more than I had thought possible." He smiled brightly. Honestly, he had always liked her. Something about the woman had always reminded him of his favorite aunt. Every time he had seen Lilia drinking in a hotel bar and talking to another coach, he had had the same thought. The only thing missing had been the cigarette.

"You are simply too kind. Please, make yourself at home. I am just going to pull out the roast and then it needs to sit for a few. Yasha, entertain our guests. I will finish in here." She seemed fully in control of the kitchen as Yakov stood up, moving to kiss his 'wife' on the cheek before walking with the two other men to the sitting room. 

"You and Vitya spent the day at the rink, what did you think of our skaters?" He was careful now to refer to them as 'our'. Victor and Yuri were as much coaches now as he was. He was careful to make sure they always felt included. It was more for Yuri's sake than Victor's though.

"Impressive. Your program has always worked with them much younger than I have, but there is so much potential in them. After the storm yesterday, of course, some of the juniors that Victor had had with him took the day off, but it was wonderful to see the others."

"We lost two seniors to other programs with everything that happened, but it'll be fine. We have Yurouchka back, and I do not need to tell you how impressive he is." There was a deeper pride though as Yakov spoke of Yuri. While yes, he was the man's coach, it was clear he was so much more as well.

"Anyone would be a fool to not realize how special he is." Christophe gave Victor a look as he said it. He needed the man to realize that he couldn't let what he had slip through his fingers.

Yakov huffed, trying not to laugh, but clearly having caught the glances between Christophe and Victor.

"We are not discussing my love life tonight."

Yakov tilted his head, "Oh, now you admit that you have a love life as opposed to your non-existent love life?"

"Not you too?" Victor sighed, looking from one to the other, "Yes. Fine."

"We only do this because we care, Victor." Christophe was smirking as they all sat to eat. The dinner was amazing, and it was clear Lilia (or at least someone) had been working on cooking this most of the day.

Conversation over dinner turned to how Chris had been doing and how his husband was. While Yakov did take the opportunity to ask about Yuri's trip to train with Christophe and his husband, most of the conversation over dinner remained very casual. Never had Christophe thought that dinner with Yakov and Lilia would turn into what honestly felt more like visiting Victor's parents than when he had actually visited Victor's parents years ago.

After dinner, the four sat in the more casual living room. It was the room with the chair that was easiest for Yakov with the persistent weakness on the one side. It was also the room with various magazines and such littering the end table. Of all the rooms that Christophe had seen so far, it was the most 'lived in' feeling. The television was also in this room, and Christophe was rather certain that the Xbox behind the entertainment center was Yuri's.

As he was laughing at Lilia's comments about one of the dance classes, a soft meow sounded near his feet and he glanced down, surprised to see that Yuri's cat was here. He had seen so many pictures of Potya on Yuri's social media, it was one of the ways he had realized how Yuri had withdrawn from the world. Before he could say anything, he glanced down only to see the ragdoll hop up into his lap and flop down as if this were a completely normal thing for her to do.

"You have to excuse Potya." Lilia was smiling softly as she glanced over. "That is the chair Yurouchka normally uses when he spends too long in here, so she is used to it."

"Oh, of course." He let his hands run over the cat, feeling how she started to purr. "I guess I hadn't realized that she was living here?"

"Yura does not spend a lot of time at his apartment." Victor's response drew a gruff huff of amusement from Yakov.

"You mean his apartment that -- did he ever get the refrigerator repaired?" Yakov just shook his head.

"Shush both of you. He is more than welcome here whenever he wants. Also, yes he did have someone out to fix it the other week." Sipping her tea, Lilia glanced over at Christophe and Potya. "Potya does not take change as well as she did when she was younger, so living here permanently just makes sense with a hectic schedule."

"Oh, she seems so very happy here, that Yura spends so much time here just makes that make all the more sense." Christophe paused as he heard the door to the house open and shoes being kicked off, hitting the wall in the small closet near the door.

"Speaking of …" Yakov didn't bother to hide the smile that Yuri was 'home'.

"Is everyone still here?" Before even bothering to walk to the room where everyone was, Yuri was yelling out from the hallway.

"Yes. Get yourself some tea and you can join us." Lilia had actually started to get out of her chair to make tea for Yuri before deciding instead to sit down and let the boy do it for himself.

"Too tired." He was clearly rummaging in the kitchen for something though.

She sighed and stood, "Excuse me."

As Lilia walked to the kitchen, Yakov shook his head. "Honestly, you spoil him Lilenka. He is more than …" He let the sentence trail off when Lilia didn't stop to listen, instead going into the kitchen to tut over Yuri and get him a full meal prepared and reheated.

Christophe glanced to Victor, "I did not know Yura … " he trailed off deciding not to mention where Yuri lived as he watched Victor, his brow furrowing with concern as he watched how Victor as trying to listen to what was going on in the other room.

"He's eating." Victor glanced at his phone checking the time. It was late. Honestly, he and Chris should have left a good hour ago. 

"Better late than not." Yakov's tone serious as well.

Chris didn't say anything still looking between the two of them as both men were clearly trying to listen to what was going on in the kitchen. This was new -- yet unsurprising information.

The only one who seemed unconcerned about the young man in the kitchen was Potya, and Chris kept absentmindedly petting her. After a few minutes, conversation resumed, but it was clear Yakov was tired.

As Victor stood up, he reached over to help Yakov from the chair. "We have kept you up much too late tonight."

"You should see him before you both leave."

Even as Yakov was saying it, Yuri appeared in the doorway looking in. "He saw me this morning. I don't need a babysitter -- and I see someone is a traitor. Honestly, I assume one of you already snuck her human food or she'd have been giving me those big eyes as she begged."

"Hush, Potya is a good girl. She doesn't beg," Lilia walked up behind Yuri, handing him a cup of tea.

"Oh, so it was you that fed her then. Everyone else she has to beg, but you are the guiltiest for feeding her." Yuri was clearly teasing Lilia.

Christophe's eyes wandered from Lilia and Yuri to look over to Victor. Yes, it was exactly as he thought. He knew that soft look in those pale blue eyes. Victor's attention was only on Yuri. Maybe it wasn't as obsessed as the man had been back when the video of Yuuri Katsuki had been occupying his friend's mind. No, this was softer in some way, less -- a need. Then again, he already had Yuri. 

"Come on Yakov. Let me help you to bed. It's late." Yuri looked from Victor to Chris as he took Yakov's arm, knowing how much harder it was for the man to get around this late at night when he was so tired.

Chris could see how much Victor wanted to follow Yuri, instead, Victor paused. "We should be leaving. I assume that Yuri will be spending the night here. I was just going to pick up the old recordings. I wanted to go over some of my old programs to look for some things for the younger skaters."

"Of course, Vitya." Lilia walked over, placing a soft kiss against one of Victor's cheeks. Then she walked over to Christophe as she did the same to him. "Goodnight, Christophe. I am glad you could visit tonight. I am sure I will see you before you leave."

Christophe took her hand, leaning down to kiss it, "It was a pleasure -- and unexpected pleasure to be able to visit with … " He also said Victor's family, but with only a slight pause, he smiled and continued, "everyone"

Goodnights were said, and Lilia disappeared down the same hallway that Yuri had lead Yakov. Victor, however, led Christophe up the stairs. The second floor seemed to be three doors, one to the bathroom and the other two to bedrooms. The assumption the animal print and dark colors in the one indicated it was Yuri's. The door slightly ajar made sense for Potya to come and go.

What was more surprising was when Victor opened the door to the 'guest room'. The moment Christoph saw it, he knew what he was looking at as Victor walked to the closet to grab the DVDs. "This -- I remember this room. I had pictures of you in this room, ages ago. This …"

"She kept my room the same all these years." Victor paused and then pulled down the box once he found it. "I was so foolish to not realize what she was to me. I was so mad back when the divorce happened." 

"Of course you were." Chris was smiling though as he sat on the bed, even as he heard someone walking up the stairs. "This was more like visiting your parents than the time I visited your actual parents." 

Yuri stopped at the door, sighing as he looked at them. "I'm going to just sleep here."

Victor nodded, walking over to Yuri as he reached out to stroke a hand along the other man's face. "You're tired. It's been a long day for you."

"Just kiss him already, Victor." Christophe had been watching the two of them, and honestly -- he felt so much better about everything. He glanced away as Victor leaned in, softly kissing Yuri. It was a private moment, and one he didn't want to interrupt. 

As the kiss ended, Yuri's sigh was audible. "I really need to get some sleep. Mondays are brutal."The soft goodnight for Victor was whispered in Russian, but Christophe's was in English.

"We'll see tomorrow at the rink, Yura." Christophe couldn't hide the smile as Yuri mumbled an affirmative and turned to go to his room.

"I feel good about this." Victor picked up the box of DVDs as he glanced around the bedroom from years ago -- he felt grounded in ways he hadn't in so many years.

"I feel good about everything too. You -- you look good, Victor. I think this is good." Chris placed his hand on Victor's shoulder as they walked out of the now quiet house together. The closeness that Chris had been missing for the past several years was back, and in a way, it even felt as if they had never lost it. Old friends just picking up exactly where things had left off -- no, not exactly. They were a bit different now. Chris was married, Victor was divorced, but it was good.

The evening was spent reviewing old programs and drinking tea on Victor's couch. Both of them leaning up against each other with the same familiarity they had had with each other when they had been much younger. Victor was so relaxed about it now. There was no tension if Chris moved, the mental calculation of 'is this too intimate' gone from the man's mind as they reviewed the old programs. The Novice skaters would be moving up soon, and Victor had never had to help choreograph so many skaters. Chris knew why it was important. If Victor didn't show that he was more than ready to do it, Yuri would step in. After today, it was abundantly clear to Chris that there just were not enough hours in the day for Yuri to do everything that the young man was capable of -- so he and Victor made routines for the soon to be newly minted juniors. Single axels and jumps that were doubles, all the traits of the programs of those brand new to Juniors that were set to all the classic Russian composers that the St Petersburg Skate Club had been using for decades.

The next morning was a rush. A quick breakfast and coffees from the little shop near the rink. Chris loved it though, spending the day with Victor as they laughed and chatted between all the things the little skaters on the ice had to do. Yakov joined them for a few hours when the other seniors and the juniors were there.

Lilia arrived with some Tupperware containers and placed them in the small refrigerator in the office. She didn't have to tell anyone that those were for Yuri. They all knew how she mothered the young man.

She had a smile on her face as she gave both Chris and Victor a quick but warm greeting before taking a gaggle of children to the onsite ballet studio. With Yuri back in classes, she was teaching the ballet classes on Monday and Tuesday. Things were almost back to how they had been before Yakov's stroke. While Yakov wasn't driving yet, he no longer needed Lilia to accompany him and instead had a car service.

Lunch was at the same little cafe, and it was clear the owners were very familiar with Victor. This time, the woman at the register was older, and whatever she said to Victor seemed to be less than pleasant. Chris's Russian was questionable at best, and when spoken that quickly, it was simply impossible for him to follow along. 

He did know whatever the reply was, it was some sort of denial of something and then Victor introducing him. As the woman looked at Chris with a critical eye, he smiled at her and gave his best 'Good afternoon' in Russian, that made it more than clear he was doing his best to be courteous but did not actually speak the language.

It seemed to appease her, and their sandwiches and coffee were carried over to a little table just outside the cafe. The weather was still beautiful, although fall wouldn't be far off. "Can I ask what that was about?"

As the question was asked, Victor's cheeks flushed. "She … was concerned that I wasn't with Yuri."

"Oh really?" Now there was clear amusement in Chris's voice. "So she knows you and Yuri are a couple before I believe either of you were willing to admit you were a couple?"

"Hush, and yes. She accused me of trading one blond for another."

At that Chris couldn't contain the laugh. Then he saw Victor typing something into his phone, "Are you telling Yuri?"

"He'll find it funny." Victor his send, not one bit of him seeming to have any worry that Yuri would be jealous or hurt that someone had thought he had been replaced.

While Chris had concerns, he glanced over as Victor's phone chimed. "A reply?"

With a soft chuckle, Victor held up the phone to show Chris the picture of a white cat at what seemed to be a coffee shop. "He said this old grey-haired man is better company when studying."

The 'Miss you' popped up on the phone before Victor put it back on the table and Christophe was smiling. Maybe Victor had been right to send the text. Yuri honestly seemed to trust Victor -- and from years of experience, Christophe knew how good of a thing that was.

From there, the conversation went back to the comfortable flow that had surrounded them this entire visit. Chris didn't miss the happy look on the woman's face though when Victor stopped in to grab a cup of tea to bring back to the rink. From the smile, Chris was very certain of one thing, "I take it Yuri will be here before that gets cold?"

"He sent me a text that his last class finished so he's driving here now. I told him that Lilia left food for him in the office."

"You know, I like this, Victor. I think all of this is good for you. Yakov, Lilia, Yuri -- the rink and all the skaters … all of it, I think this is good."

"It is." Victor looked up at the sky as they walked back. The clouds making it clear that it was probably going to rain again, and the wind was coming off the sea. "It really is Chris." 

Before long, when Victor was out on the ice with the juniors that had just arrived for their skate times, Yuri walked up next to Chris. He was still dressed for school and not skating in jeans and a hoodie. The heavy backpack was set down on the floor as he picked up the cup of tea that Victor had left for him. 

"How was school?" Chris barely looked over to Yuri, he could practically feel how the young man relaxed as he sipped the tea that he had clearly wanted.

"Long. Not as bad as yesterday. I have as much of it on Mondays as I could manage so that I miss as little as possible when I'm at skating competitions. I -- wasn't sure if Victor was staying when I set everything up."

"You thought he'd leave?"

"He has before." Yuri's eyes widened as he realized how honest that was to say. He hadn't meant to say it -- at least not to Chris. Saying it to Lilia was one thing. Accusing Victor when he was mad or scared was as well. To tell Chris, that was something he hadn't meant to do.

"He has." Christophe's tone stayed calm, reaching out to put a hand on Yuri's shoulder. He couldn't fault the younger man. Knowing what he knew now, and knowing how Victor felt about how he'd hurt Yuri, Chris just offered silent support for a moment before Yuri straightened. 

"I don't think he's going to leave anymore."

"I don't think he is either.

Without another word, Yuri left to get changed, a slight smile on his face. 

Chris looked back to Victor, watching the man work on the flip jump with Alexandr. Yes, this was very good for his friend -- no, for both of his friends. At some point in the past few weeks, he was now certain that Yuri fit into that category as well.

Chris was watching Victor work, this was their last night together. The next day, they both flew out. He was going back home. It was the competition season, it wasn't a good time to be away from his husband and his skaters, but this important. To be here for Victor meant so much. 

Moments later, Yuri walked out and after taking his skate guards off, he skated out onto the ice, moving towards where Victor was working with Alexandr. As Yuri skated up, Chris saw how Victor's face lit up. They were close enough that Chris heart as Victor started to speak, "Ahh Yura, good good, I got an email today. You and Alexandr have the same blades, so when I brought up sponsors, they decided they wanted to work with both of you! Isn't that amazing?" 

Chris saw it. He saw how happy Victor was. Yes, by all logical measures, this was great news. Two skaters getting a sponsor was great news. For a junior skater to get a sponsor was exciting, even one who was clearly on his last year as a junior -- and it was likely it would be part of a year and transitioning to seniors at Russian nationals. What Victor hadn't thought of, and Chris would have warned him about had he known what was coming, was exactly how Yuri reacted. Chris could see how Yuri's face froze. He could see the color drain. Christophe knew how much it meant to Yuri that Victor was helping him, and then to have that shared… no. Chris was sure that hurt. Part of him was bracing for a reaction. Instead, Yuri forced himself to nod.

Skating backward towards Chris, Yuri kept nodding, "That's great. It'll be really good for people to see more than just one of Yakov's skaters. It'll help reassure people that things are good and we have this under control and your coaching is great." 

As Yuri reached him, Chris placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, giving him a little bit of physical reassurance. He leaned into Yuri, whispering, "He didn't mean to hurt you."

The response was quiet as Yuri grabbed his water bottle and took a drink before answering, "I know. It's Victor -- it's just Victor and it's good. It is. I mean, look, even I had a part in training a junior who is good enough to get a sponsorship deal. This will be good for Yakov with all the rumors, I just -- make sure Victor knows I'm OK when you guys are together tonight? I don't want him worrying about me on the last night you're here, okay?"

"I will." Yes, there was no yelling, no acting out. Yuri was much more mature about things than he had been.

Chris watched as Yuri skated off, doing warm-up laps even as Victor watched him more than he was watching Alexandr. Finally, the junior was done and headed off the ice and Victor was able to concentrate on Yuri.

"Yura? What do you want to work on?"

"Free skate." It wasn't a surprise to Christophe. He was certain Yuri wanted to get Victor's attention. As his friend joined him along the boards, Chris kept his eyes on Yuri. He knew Victor's were as well.

"He's fine, Victor."

"I'm worried."

"I know you are." Chris sighed, "He just … you know your relationship is at a delicate point. You should show him how important he is when you get back from the next competition."

Nodding as he started the music for the program, Victor's eyes were locked onto Yuri. "I will -- he doesn't have anything to be jealous of."

"Yes, yes he does. He … he was one of many skaters under Yakov at a time when you were the biggest thing in all of men's figure skating. He was in your shadow, and, yes, rationally he knows what you did is for the best, it still didn't make him feel special." Maybe it was blunt to spell it out, but as he watched Yuri begin to move through the program, Chris knew that spelling it out for Victor was the best thing he could do.

Even just wearing a tight T-shirt and practice leggings, neither man could take their eyes off of Yuri as he moved through the step sequence. Every movement languid and somehow, more than it had ever had in Switzerland, every move made it impossible to look away. 

How every move encompassed his full body, arms and legs as well as how his hips and torso moved through every beat of the lyricless music. How Yuri's shoulders rolled and his hips led from one movement to the next, and then suddenly every muscle in Yuri's body released into an impressive triple Axel then bounced into a double loop before Yuri left the jump sequence in a gorgeous Beilman.

"He's amazing." Victor only whispered the words.

"And he loves you." Chris set a hand on Victor's shoulder as they both watched the program with a less critical eye than they should. This close to competition and they should both be giving a harsh critique - but that wasn't what Yuri needed and both of them knew it. Every detail of this program was gone over and over by the young man, and it was as good as he could make it right now. All their input had already been taken to heart.

All too soon, and they were at the final jump, every bit of the program making the only possible outcome of the Ondrej Nepala Trophy being Yuri getting the gold. It wouldn't have the top tier skaters, but this program could hold it's own even against the best of the best. In just a few weeks, the only outcome possible was gold -- as long as nothing horrible happened.

The triple flip was a triple this time and not the quad that Yuri tried so hard to do, but still didn't have, but with the jump held down to a triple, the bounce into the single loop and then the triple salchow was perfect. As Yuri skated out of it in a perfect arabesque before pulling into a blindingly fast spin, Victor remained at the boards just holding on as he watched the man.

Chris pulled his eyes from Yuri to watch Victor. As he heard a toepick dig in, stopping the spin sharply and ending the program, he saw how Victor was watching Yuri. That could be a problem, it was obvious. That softness to Victor's look, it didn't hide a thing.

After a few moments, Yuri skated up to the two of them, taking a hold of the boards. "I'll be fine, I promise, no jumps, just footwork. You two go have a good time." He was smiling though, looking at Victor so much more than he was looking at Chris.

"Promise?" Victor reached out, taking Yuri's hand to just hold it.

"Yes. I promise. Now, go show Chris a good time. I'll see you when you get back." Then in an instant, Yuri was up on his toepicks, leaning in to kiss Victor. Yes, all the skaters had left, but still, a much more public place than Chris would have thought they'd do such intimate behavior.

"You'll be in class when we have to go to the airport." There was a soft frown to that.

"I know, Vitya. I'll see you when you get back. I'll text you after class, then we can talk tomorrow night?" Yuri smiled as he gave Victor a shorter kiss.

It was clear that Victor didn't want to just leave, but then Yuri was giving Chris a goodbye hug. "Take this idiot out of here and make him show you a good time tonight."

"I will." Leaning over the board, Chris gave Yuri a tight hug. "Anytime you want, you know my home is open to you." Another, this time tighter hug, was the response.

As Chris left the rink with Victor, off to dinner at a restaurant they hadn't been to in too many years, he glanced back to see Yuri move across the ice as he worked the step sequence. This was going to be an amazing season.

All too soon dinner was over, walking through one of the most historic sections of Saint Petersburg while sipping coffee ended, and Chris and Victor stayed up much too late considering when they'd be going to the airport the next day. Even with the late night, both men were packed and in the cab to get to the airport -- and Chris was near certain that Victor wished Yuri had been driving them. 

While Victor waiting in the departure area for all four of his junior skaters to arrive, Chris had to leave, his flight was slightly earlier. A few selfies and a few more hugs and the visit was over, ended like almost everything else seemed to with a trip through airport security.

* * *

Between his second and third class, Yuri had enough time to grab something to eat and check his social media. There he saw it, the goodbye picture. Chris and Victor pressed against each other, both doing over the top smiles with the view from the airport in the background. They looked so happy, honestly happy. Even with the posed smiles, the fact they cared about each other was clear. Yuri found himself smiling at it, before typing his simple reply.

> [Farewell picture of Chris and Victor smiling at the airport]
> 
> Plisetky15: I'm glad you were able to visit. Potya says she'll miss you Chirs.

He slid his phone back into his pocket. Time was running out. Every day brought them closer and closer to the day of his return to the ice. It felt like everything was barreling towards the moment he would find out if he could do this or not. Having Chris here had been wonderful. He resisted the temptation to text Victor. The man would either be on the plane or making sure all the skaters made it to the plane, he'd bother him tonight. Now though, he had to finish his last class and then get to the rink to help Yakov.


	24. While Victor is away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor has the skaters away at a competition and Alexandr has things to say to Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a tad shorter but the next chapter is written and in edits so it won't be long :) and is longer. I had to split them because together this chapter and the next one are like 12K ;)

Friday was the first actual day of competition at the event Victor had the junior pairs skaters at the competition along with one of the young women in singles. That left a lot of students for Yuri and Yakov. It had been a long three hours since Yuri had gotten back from the university campus, but he felt he had gotten a lot done. Fridays were an early day -- a fact that was even nicer when they didn't have a competition, but all he had left once two o'clock happened was the remaining juniors. That meant Yakov was at the boards while Yuri was on the ice with them.

One thing that was now different at the rink from how it was in years past was that Fridays had a completely different soundtrack over the speakers than a normal day. Once the Novice skaters were done, the music switched to one of the more modern playlists. It also served to encourage Yakov to leave earlier -- so his head would hurt less from the 'noise'. Yuri knew it was just that Yakov didn't like the music, which was the point. What Yakov did like was how much more distance and air the juniors were able to throw into their jumps when the music wasn't classical. He still left early, knowing that everything was in good hands with Yuri.

By four in the afternoon, the official practice was over and it was just Yuri, Alexandr, and two of the women's junior skaters. As the girls both threw on skate guards to head to the locker room, Alexandr skated up to Yuri. "So …"

Yuri just raised an eyebrow at him. "So?"

"You and Coach Victor?"

That was one thing that he and Victor hadn't really talked about. They hadn't been the best at being subtle, but Yuri didn't think they had done anything too obvious. "What do you mean?"

"You're the one texting him when he gets that stupid happy smile on his face." It wasn't a question. Alexandr had no doubts.

Yuri stood there on the ice, now just the two of them, as he watched Alexandr. He wished Victor was here, almost positive that the younger skater wouldn't have confronted him with Victor around -- and then Yuri realized how hard it was to find him without Victor near him. Maybe they were obvious. "We don't need any distractions with tabloids."

That was the moment when Alexandr's mouth slipped into a smile. "Mm-hmm. You know what my coach told me?"

"No … what did Victor tell you?" Yuri crossed his arms over his chest, cocking a hip as he moved a skate to hold himself in place by the back of the blade.

"Never said Victor. My coach told me that the best way to make sure people thought of me how I wanted to be thought of was to put out the image I wanted to project out on my social media." He was still smiling, watching Yuri as he quoted the man's own words back to him.

Yes, Yuri was surprised that he was the coach Alexandr had been talking about. What was less surprising was when Alexandr pulled out his phone, "Just because I'll be competing against you in December doesn't mean you're not my coach, and I … well, I think Victor makes you happy."

Yuri just narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"So suspicious." Alexandr tilted his head as he looked at Yuri. "You and Yakov took me in after my last coach pulled all that shit. You choreographed my programs, put all those hours in and then changed my programs and changed them and changed them as we figured out where my strengths were. I mean, yeah Coach Yakov and Coach Victor have changed them a little here and there as well, and -- well…" Alexandr let himself trail off as he held up his phone. "Trust me. Do a few really nice moves on the ice and … trust me?"

It took a moment as Yuri looked at Alexandr, but then he nodded. Maybe this would be a good thing. Besides, he felt better knowing that someone besides Yakov and Lilia knew about him and Victor -- maybe that Alexandr had figured it out was a warning to be more careful. He put that out of his mind though as he started to skate around the rink to get some speed. This wasn't going to be either of his programs. Instead, he threw himself into just the best triple axel he could a few meters away from where Alexandr was standing. 

Yuri's mind was somewhere else, lost in the scent and feel of the ice. The music over the speakers flowing over him as he did exactly as Alexandr requested. Then he did three more jumps, all triples, he wasn't going to do a quad right now. What he was going for was high difficulty triples. Maybe a +5GOE was an impossible goal, but that did not mean that the number was not Yuri's target.

"Perfect." Alexandr let himself slowly glide to the boards even as he did something on his phone. Unsurprisingly, Yuri heard his phone chirp from where he had left it on the boards by his water bottle and he skated over to it, gulping some water before checking the phone.

> [Short video with the background music some loud modern pop. Yuri skates into view and suddenly does a right-footed triple axel, his hands moving from down to up above his head at the apex of the jump and then both hands moving down until his skates contact the ice and both arms move out. Everything about the jump is nearly textbook.]
> 
> ||Staying after class for extra training with Coach Yuri. He makes it look so easy. Working on getting that height that he has. Thanks for staying late with me! #Plisetsky #Layashev #Nikiforov||

Yuri looked over from his phone, glancing at Alexandr with one eyebrow delicately lifted, "And you tagged Victor."

"Of course I did. Isn't half the reason we did this so he is reminded of exactly what he has waiting for him back in Saint Petersburg?"

Yuri was going to deny it, but he knew that would be a lie. Instead, he just smiled at Alexandr. "Sorry if I've been pissy lately."

"It's OK. I mean … everyone felt the stress of everything. I can't believe some people quit training here. Seriously. Not a smart move. I'm not going anywhere for as long as you guys will have me. I want you to do my programs -- even when I'm eventually competing against you."

"You mean in a few months?" Yuri let his lips move into a smirk.

"Yeah -- nationals." Alexandr was smiling as he said it.

"That'll be interesting."

"Mmm-hmm. My only hope is you being tired if you get in the GP final." The younger man didn't seem upset by it at all.

"That is really unlikely." Yuri wanted it -- desperately. He really did. He wasn't as brash as he once was, so he wasn't going to risk his health more than he felt he should.

"I don't think so. You know the Russian skating federation is holding off on announcing their spots for the Rostelecom. Everyone knows they're waiting to see how you skate."

"Just a few more weeks." Yuri sighed though as he left the ice to slide on his guards.

"If there is anything I can do to help you?"

"Unless you want to spend way more time in the dance studio than you already do?" Yuri laughed it off a little. He wasn't used to asking for help, and he was supposed to be the one helping Alexandr.

"Wouldn't hurt." Alexandr was smiling as he looked at Yuri, both of them making their way to the locker room.

"Tomorrow starting at 1 I'm off the ice and in the studio here."

"I'll see you then."

Yuri had just sat down to take his skates off when Alexandr stopped at the door on his way out, "Oh -- and by the way. Tuesday night I saw you two kissing by the boards."

"You were still here?"

"Yeah, I was up in the back seats watching you skate." With a laugh, Alexandr left. Yuri wasn't sure if he should be thankful he knew the truth or if it was a reason to make Alexandr pay with a real stretching workout tomorrow.

In the end, it was his phone that distracted him. He had a specific tone for when Victor texted him, and he hated that hearing that tone made him look at his phone right away -- but it did.

> >> What prompted the video?
> 
> << Oh Hi Yuri just wanted to message you mid competition instead of paying attention to my skaters 

Yuri rolled his eyes as he sarcastically replied to Victor's question.

> >> We're waiting for the next two groups to finish. Everyone is stretching but we're killing time. 
> 
> >> so I decided to check my phone because I miss you. 
> 
> << I'm sorry. I just.
> 
> << Fuck
> 
> << I didn't mean to snap
> 
> << I was worried you were pissed
> 
> >> it's a great video. People love it. I love it. I like seeing you and Alexandr interacting more. Chris thought you might be a little jealous
> 
> << Just because he's getting all the attention as a junior that I had desperately wanted when I was a junior?
> 
> >> We can talk when I get back to the hotel? But yeah… I was self-centered.
> 
> << And I was a horrible ball of rage and hormones and issues -- but yeah, we can talk when you get to the hotel.
> 
> >> Still at the rink?
> 
> << Yeah. I was just about to clean all the laundry out of my lockers
> 
> >> Headed to Lilia's?
> 
> << No, Victor. I was just going to carry dirty laundry around with me for fun.
> 
> >> Miss your sass
> 
> >> You can use my washer and dryer in my apartment
> 
> << You have a washer and dryer in there?
> 
> >> That door in the kitchen
> 
> << I don't have a key
> 
> >> Top drawer of Yakov's desk - behind all those forms
> 
> << Call me when you can?
> 
> >> Miss you
> 
> << Miss you too, old man

Yuri threw the dirty laundry into a duffle bag and slung it over his arm before walking up to the office to grab the key from the desk. If he went to Lilia's then he'd end up being social. If he went to Victor's, he could just work on homework and maybe get ahead of where he needed to be for Monday. 

Four hours later, Yuri was sitting on the floor of Victor's apartment, his reading glasses on since he actually remembered and didn't want to get a headache tonight from squinting. His laptop was on the coffee table, and his first load of clothes were in the dryer. The second load was in the washer. Dinner had been eaten, the empty take out container on the coffee table as Yuri typed away on a paper for school, the rough draft already finished, he was just editing it now. He'd lost track of time and was startled back to reality by his phone ringing.

"Hey." Yuri picked up the phone, seeing who it was as he answered.

"We're all back at the hotel. Everything went well but this thing is just so disorganized. I just had them all order room service."

"That bad?" Yuri let his voice soften as he asked.

"It was a very very long day. And we get to do it all over tomorrow for the free skates." Victor's sigh was loud from the other end.

"I'm sorry..."

"You know, normally you make me text you."

"I know. I wanted to hear your voice though. Miss you."

"I miss you too … are you at my place?"

"Yeah. I was just getting some homework done." Yuri glanced at the time, "How did it get this late?" Even as he said it the buzzer from the dryer sounded. He set his glasses down next to the laptop before he stood up to walk over there and toss his dry clothes back into the duffle bag and move the wet clothes to the dryer.

"You have an early morning." The amusement in Victor's tone was clear as he listened to Yuri walk around in his apartment.

"Yeah. I just need to get this last load of clothes dry and …"

"You should just sleep there. Let the dryer run. You can deal with it in the morning." Victor's tone was soft as he suggested it.

"You want me sleeping in your bed when you aren't here?"

"I like you in that bed better when I'm there, but you're more than welcome to sleep in my bed." The humor in Victor's face couldn't be hidden. "That way you don't need to remake the bed in the guest room."

"Shut up." The blush to Yuri's face was clear in his tone as he realized he assumed Victor meant his bed and not the guestroom. "Your bed is better." He shut his laptop though, walking to the bedroom. "Really? You didn't even make your bed before you left?"

The phone was set to speaker as Yuri set it down on one of the pillows and went to pull up the blankets from where Victor had left them. "Honestly, old man, this makes it clear you were not planning on trying to get me in your bed tonight. I'm not asking for flowers, but maybe make sure all the pillows are at least on the bed?"

"I …"

"Unless romance is dead."

"Do you want to be romanced?" Now Victor's voice dropped lower, his tone growing softer.

"What would your skaters think if they knew you were trying to seduce your boyfriend over the phone?" Yuri tried to make it sound like he didn't really mean anything by it. He tried to make it a joke.

"Trying? I thought I was succeeding?" Victor's soft laugh carried easier over the phone.

"I wouldn't say you were succeeding, Vitya." Yuri pulled off his clothes as he slid into the blankets, naked.

"See, I am succeeding. You called me Vitya instead of old man." Now Victor's tone was calmer, softer -- something he never used around others.

"You're just lucky your bed is comfortable."

"Oh, so you are in my bed?"

"No -- I am naked in your bed, Vitya.." Yuri let his voice trail off as he whispered the name. 

With a crack in his voice, the only response from Victor was to echo, "Naked?"

"Mmm-hmmm. I like your sheets, Vityacya." The last syllable was mumbled to a point where it was hard to tell if he really had slipped to a three-syllable version. It was Yuri though, and Victor knew it was testing to see if he could. In a way, the awkwardness was endearing.

"I can't wait for Sunday when I get back, Yuracya." He intentionally softened Yuri's name the exact same way that his had been treated, the barely-there third syllable that if you weren't paying attention you could think he had simply paused on the last syllable. He didn't want to use Yurochka. Too many times he had used that name years ago to emphasize how young (and often bratty) Yuri was. No, this was a much different reason and he didn't want it the name he knew Lilia and Yakov used.

"I'll pick you up?" The question was just softly whispered as Yuri rolled onto his stomach.

"I look forward to it -- we get in early-ish. Assuming the flights on time, we could go to dinner?" There was almost a hesitance in Victor's voice, but no -- it was something Yuri just wasn't used to hearing. This was nervousness.

"Like a date?" Yuri had no intention of letting Victor not be explicit about it.

"No -- a date, not like a date, but an actual date. Dressed up, nice restaurant, not too late though because you have school Monday?"

"That sounds nice. Almost as nice as having you here right now would be."

Rolling his eyes, Yuri waited a moment for Victor to realize how to respond to that. The back and forth flirting was nice, but not what he wanted tonight. He lifted up his phone with the camera on as he took a picture of himself, sending it to Victor before he could second guess himself.

[Yuri in bed, head on the pillow with his hair still showing the marks from having been up with a hair tie. No shirt, just the blankets up to just below his ribs.]

Yuri didn't send any text with it, just waiting as he heard the beep of Victor getting his text before whispering, "We could move to text if you're more comfortable."

"Sorry … just not used to having a handsome man naked in my bed." Victor's voice was so much softer now -- but as Yuri strained to hear what was going on on the other side of the phone, he heard a knock on Victor's hotel room door.

"Room service?"

"No I -- already ate." He heard how Victor climbed out of the bed, walking over to open the door.

"Coach Victor?" The young female voice Yuri heard over the phone sounded in pain -- and suddenly, Yuri forgot why he and Victor were talking in the first place, but clearly remembering he was on speaker.

"Sophia, sweetie? What's wrong?" Yuri didn't stop to think about what anyone would think about him and Victor being on the phone at this hour.

"My stomach hurts."

"Oh sweetie." Yuri's tone was soft as he tried to take control of everything over the phone even though Victor was right there. "Sit down on Victor's bed, he's going to call medical so you can get looked at, okay? How long --"

Victor cut him off, even as he heard his instructions being followed. "Yura, get some sleep. I have this. I'll get medical and if it is anything major, I promise I'll wake you up. You had a long day." He didn't think at all about how unsubtle he was being about the relationship between him and Yuri as he referred to Yuri as 'Yura' at this hour of the night.

"I wish coach Yuri was here." The girl just mumbled the words, feeling bad enough that she actually said it.

"Victor? Do you need me there?" He'd been all right so far with the skaters going to competitions with Victor, but now, hearing Sophia, every last bit of guilt he felt about not being there for these skaters that he had been working with for so long came crashing down on him. Never mind that there was no real way for him to get to where they were -- by the time he could get a plane ticket, it would be just silly for him to be going.

"I have this Yuri. Here Sophia, try a little ginger ale. I'm going to call medical, Yuri, I promise I will call if this is anything more than just an upset stomach. Just call me in the morning when you wake up, it's fine if you wake me up. Don't worry -- you need rest, and we'll all be back Sunday."

"Okay …" Yuri was less than positive as he hung up the phone, knowing that Victor needed to concentrate on the sick skater.

Sighing, he looked up at the ceiling of the strange bedroom. He knew he wasn't going to be able to get to sleep. He also knew Victor wouldn't call him tonight because it would be assumed he was asleep. All sexual energy was gone, replaced with just worry. Sighing, he threw on a pair of Victor's sweatpants. If he was going to be here all night, he might as well get some things done.

By the time the sun was rising on Saturday, Yuri had washed all the sheets, and every last bit of Victor's laundry as well as finished all of his homework for Monday. He was exhausted, the most sleep he had gotten was closing his eyes for a few minutes as he leaned on the couch. Today was going to be rough.

* * *

His morning call with Victor proved that yes, it had just been an upset stomach. The medical people had given Sophia something and within an hour of that, she had been asleep in her room. He managed to fake being fine over the phone -- the last thing he wanted was Victor thinking that he wasn't handling things in Saint Petersburg alright without him.

By the time he and Alexandr ended up in the ballet studio, Yuri was worn out so he had the music in the studio a few notches louder than Lilia liked it as he stretched out.

"So this is the music you play when it's just you?"

"It's also the music I am using for the choreography of an exhibition. There's a couple of you that are in the running for events coming up where there will be exhibitions so --"

"I am not skating to this."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "Yes yes, whatever. This is for Sophia. She wasn't feeling well last night, so I thought giving her an exhibition this week would make her feel a little better in case she does badly today."

"So, how do you make a program?" Alexandr moved to sit down next to the notebook that Yuri had out, listening as Yuri explained how he made an exhibition program for someone, starting with where he wanted to put the bigger elements of what they were good at and enjoyed, along with a few crowd-pleasing moves. 

By the time Yuri was done explaining, they had a scribbled notebook page and had listened to the song five times. As Alexandr pulled out his phone, he glanced at the results for the event, "She's in first place with four skaters left to skate. She did OK, not great, but …"

"Well, for how late she was up last night."

"Did Victor call you this morning?"

"No -- I was talking to him last night."

Alexandr shook his head, "Yeah talking …"

"No, we were talking. Seriously. I did his laundry even."

"Wouldn't _his_ laundry be at _his_ apartment and not _your_ apartment?"

"Shush."

"So -- did you move in?" Alexandr leaned forward, stretching even more. Yuri had insisted that working on the program be done while they were both in the splits.

"No, I did not move in. I was using his washing machine because my apartment does not have one and I didn't want to bother Lilia." Maybe that last part wasn't exactly the truth though.

"Uh huh … so you just have keys to his apartment."

"Alexandr, I swear …" Yuri sighed as he sat up, moving his legs so that the stretch was even wider.

The only response from the younger skater was to take a picture of the piece of paper so he could upload it to his social media and tag his coaches.

> [A notebook page with a bunch of messy writing and abbreviations that would make sense to no one who did not follow skating]
> 
> ||The first time I got to be here for the process of @Yuri.Plisetsky making an exhibition skate program||

Alexandr was smiling even as Yuri shook his head, both phones now pinging with notifications as people were asking who it was for.

"Video?" Alexandr asked as he held up his phone with a smile.

Yuri stood up, now completely stretched out and ready as he replayed the music one more time. Black ballet slippers and black leggings with a black tight T-shirt and Yuri was dressed exactly as he always was for practices. He moved to the back wall, and then went through one of the step sequences, the hip hop/pop hybrid song was very much not ballet-inspired, and Yuri held nothing back, knowing what his skater could do -- but this step sequence was short so he could make it hard, but even with punches thrown on the beat of the dance sequence and how much every effort was made to give a rough vibe, it still transitioned to the softer part of the song by a kick moving into a candle position that would probably be a spin on the ice."

"That was badass."

"You think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it."

Even as Alexandr was talking, he was uploading the video.

> [video of Yuri doing a floor walkthrough of the step sequence with the music blasting in the background]
> 
> ||We're not saying who this is for until she realizes Coach Yuri made an exhibition program for her to one of her favorite songs||

Once again the post was tagged for Victor and Yuri … although it was tempting, Alexandr didn't tag Sophia.

By the time Yuri was driving to Lilia's house, he realized he was actually in a good mood. Sophia had ended up with a bronze, and the pairs skaters hadn't skated yet -- soon, he just couldn't check the phone on the short drive. He'd had a good day. He knew he wouldn't get to talk to Victor with how the post-competition dinner would run later and he'd be getting his skaters to bed for the early morning flight.

He was at Lilia's though so that meant a nice dinner and then watching the evening news in his chair with Potya on his lap. Sunday was a day off -- well, mostly off, he still had to be at the airport a little before two to pick up Victor.


	25. To be here with you

Sunday norming, he had expected Lilia and Yakov to not be home before he left on Sunday. However, he hadn't expected to need to iron clothes. He was still in just shorts and a T-shirt with the ironing board out near the washer and dryer as he tried to make his dress pants presentable when Lilia and Yakov returned to the house.

"I can get those dry cleaned before you fly out." Lilia saw what he was doing right away.

"I need them for today." Yuri didn't say anything more about what he actually needed them for.

Yakov tilted his head, moving to the couch to sit -- he still tired so easily, "You need to dress up to pick up Victor from the airport?" The tone made it very clear that going to the airport was barely enough to get Yuri to get dressed at all -- and a thing that Yuri had done more than once in sweaty exercise clothes.

"We're grabbing food afterward." He knew that giving the minimum amount of information wasn't going to work for long, but he had to try anyway.

Yakov didn't believe that for a moment. "You and Victor are getting something to eat after the airport … and that is enough for you to have remembered what an ironing board actually is?"

"Yakov…" The response was grumbled from Yuri.

Lilia's response was a much softer scolding of the man, "Yasha …. Be nice." Then she looked at Yuri, reaching out a hand to take the iron from him, "Let me, baby. Are you running late?"

"Of course I am running late. It's me, isn't it?" With an exasperated sigh, Yuri left his clothes with Lilia as he ran up the stairs to go to the bathroom so he could take care of his hair and anything else.

With Yuri upstairs, Yakov sighed, "It's a date, I assume?"

"Yasha, of course, it's a date. He's making himself pretty. Be nice -- you knew this was coming."

"Finally. If I had waited this long to take you someplace nice, I would have never had a chance with you." Yakov closed his eyes as he leaned back on the couch, making himself comfortable.

Before long, Yuri was hurrying back downstairs, this time holding a pair of dress shoes that had probably been in his closet someplace. He was wearing black designer underwear, that if Yakov was remembering right, were from an ad campaign shortly before his accident -- which meant they were expensive.

It was no surprise to anyone that Yuri wasn't bothered by either of them being there as he pulled on the freshly ironed black dress pants and then ran a belt through the belt loops. The light blue dress shirt was one of those that wasn't meant to be tucked in, the hem neater than a traditional shirt and designed to look just a little less put together. Once again though, Yakov was near positive he recognized the muted pale blue shirt. It also was from an ad campaign and once again, something that Yuri didn't normally wear.

"You look very good." Lilia was ignoring that Yakov was just watching from the couch. Instead, she reached out, gently fixing Yuri's shirt a little, even as he tucked it in on one side slightly, 

"Yes? No? I'm overthinking."

Once again, Yakov said nothing as Yuri evidently was unable to decide what to do with a shirt on his own. He had always assumed the young man to be fully capable of getting himself dressed, but as he watched Lilia fuss over Yuri, it became clear this was a two-person job.

"You look handsome, baby. Now go before you are late, drive careful." She did one last adjustment to the shoulders of the shirt before Yuri gave her a kiss on the cheek to head to the door.

"Don't stay out too late. Remember you have school tomorrow." Yakov didn't think for a second that Yuri would actually forget that he had school tomorrow. However, he felt like he had to say something that was vaguely paternal, and that was the best he could do at the moment.

"I'll be safe, and don't worry I remember!" With that, the dress shoes were flopped to the floor by the door and Yuri slid his feet in before leaving to head to the airport.

* * *

Victor had no idea that Yuri was putting that much effort into getting ready to pick him up from the airport. If someone saw him, they wouldn't think for a moment that he was going on a date. He was wearing just a designer pair of jeans and some sort of T-shirt with his Sochi Olympic jacket covering it. His hair looked good, and the lack of sleep was covered by the designer sunglasses he tended to wear. The juniors were all full of energy though.

Victor was trying to keep up with them as they rushed to baggage claim, all of them knowing that was where their parents would be. Honestly, dealing with five skaters at once was a lot. Sophia was still a little under the weather, but the two sets of pairs more than made up for that in energy. As soon as they rounded a corner, Victor smiled. Not only were there a few sets of parents waiting for their kids, but Yuri had already pulled his bag off the conveyor belt and was standing with it. 

At that moment, Victor realized something was very wrong. Maybe he wasn't always the most observant person. However, when he saw a smile fall like that, he knew something was wrong. Worse still, he saw Yuri force himself to have the 'be nice for the press' smile that Yakov had drilled into him. Yes, this was very very bad.

Victor watched as Sophia rushed over to Yuri, oblivious to how the young man was looking at Victor. When she reached Yuri though, the gaze was broken and Yuri dropped to a knee to be closer in height to the girl.

Victor clearly saw how she hugged him and the concern in the young man's face. He watched as Sophia's mom moved over there and the girl went from hugging Yuri to hugging her mom. Victor knew he had to do his last coaching duty of the day, so he walked over to where the three were so he could explain to Sophia's mom that the medics were not sure if it was some sort of virus or if it was a mild case of food poisoning, but he told her what they had given Sophia so she could compete and then said she should take as much of the week off as she felt she needed.

As soon as those words were out of his mouth, Sophia was looking up at Victor, "But Coach Victor? I want to skate. Coach Yuri made an exhibition program for me, and I want to learn it!"

"He did?" That was news to Victor -- but then he remembered that Alexandr had posted something on Saturday about working on a program with Yuri. "Oh, that was for you -- once you're feeling better you can come back. Until then, you need to rest." He turned to Sophia's mom as he gave the woman that smile that tended to get him out of trouble.

Yuri was still down at Sophia's level as he spoke, "Sophia, you rest and feel better. Remember, I won't really be back at the rink until Wednesday, so you might as well get some rest for the next two days at least. More if you still don't feel good."

"Ok, Coach Yuri." She was smiling at him as she said, "You look really nice today," then she looked up at her mother, "Doesn't Coach Yuri look nice today, mama?"

While the woman started to agree, suddenly she glanced at her daughter and seemed to realize something. "Yes, he does. We should be going home though so you can rest. "It was a pleasure to see you both. I'm going to take Sophia to the doctor tomorrow just to be sure. I'll email when we know more about when she's coming back."

"Sure." Yuri was confused at the slightly off reaction to him being dressed up -- at least that was what caused it as far as he could tell.

Victor was rather positive this time he understood. As the two left and they were left alone near the baggage carousel with only Victor's luggage, he looked at Yuri, "I think Sophia was trying to set you up with her mother."

"What?" 

"I think --"

"I heard what you said, that's crazy." Yuri just shook his head, then he looked over at Victor, a little frown on his face.

"I could get changed?"

"I -- it's fine."

Yuri turned, not wanting to argue in the airport. Instead, he just started walking towards his car.

Behind him, Victor sighed. "No, Yura, I want to get changed. Cleaned up from the plane and then -- I have dinner reservations for us. In four hours, I wanted to be safe in case the plane was delayed a little.

Once outside, Yuri nodded, "Yeah -- I -- I'm sorry. I was thinking I looked like an idiot."

"No, not at all. You look like I should have as much chance with you as Sophia's mother …"

"What do you mean? You're handsome and …"

"I think only two years younger than she is."

"Oh … oh!" Yuri suddenly realized how close in age Victor and one of his skater's moms was -- and the only reaction he could have to that was to smirk and tease, "So that means you're buying dinner?"

"What?" The transition seemed to leave Victor confused.

"Well, if you're almost as old as Sophia's mother …"

"No, I am not old enough to have a trophy boyfriend…" Victor trailed off as he suddenly realized that Yuri was seeming less upset now that he was teasing. "I am going to buy dinner though. We have reservations, but I definitely have to change before dinner. Luckily, a very handsome man picked me up from the airport today."

"Oh really? Where is he, I'll kick his ass." While Yuri clearly knew that Victor had been talking about him, there was a tease to it that Victor found harder to place.

"Hmm?" Victor reached an arm out, wrapping it around Yuri's waist as they walked to the car.

"Well, you said very handsome. Lilia called me stunning so …"

"Oh, I see. Now we are trying to get compliments?" Victor was smiling though. If Yuri was teasing him like this, it meant he was over the disappointment of seeing Victor not dressed up.

"Would you rather I post what I'm wearing online -- or I could call Sophia's mother." That was just a tease, there was no way that Yuri would do the last one.

"If I told you how beautiful you are, we'd never get to the restaurant in time for our reservations -- I'd have to spend all night whispering in your ear, You look absolutely stunning -- but you always do." As they reached the car, Victor leaned in to softly kiss Yuri's lips, not bothered at all that they were doing that in broad daylight. Whenever people found out, they found out. At this point, Victor wasn't as worried about it anymore.

"Now that I missed." Smiling, Yuri slipped from Victor's arms to get into the car. The sooner they left here, the sooner they would be at Victor's apartment.

"Being told how beautiful you are?" 

"Kissing you." The car was started, and Yuri started to make his way out of the airport parking lot.

"I would love to remedy that by kissing you a lot more often." Yes, kissing Yuri was nice. There were so many things about it that Victor loved -- not the least of which was how responsive the young man always was.

"Well … Vityacya …" Now the soft form of the name was a tease though as Yuri said it. "I mean, you are my boyfriend, so that should get you more kissing?"

Victor slid into the car, smiling now that Yuri wasn't upset anymore. He had learned a few things about how to deal with Yuri when he was mad. Poking at him or teasing him was never the best option. When the young man was mad, he was always so quick to respond. It was too easy to get an angry reaction and then all that got you was Yuri being even more mad, and that was definitely not what Victor was going for.

Acknowledging that Yuri was mad … that was more delicate. If you did it right, it worked well. If you didn't, then what you got was Yuri being sad or guilty -- both of those were also not at all what Victor wanted.

If you just gave Yuri a little space to be mad, then it normally wore off so quickly. He was learning, if he had spent more time when before he had run off to Japan figuring out people, he'd probably be even better at it.

As it was, being called 'boyfriend' in person -- that felt nice, and Victor rewarded Yuri for the word by leaning in to softly kiss his lips again. "I'll drive -- since I know where the restaurant is." He also knew, reminding Yuri that yes, he had actually made reservations and he had every intention of taking him out to eat was a very good idea.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" Even as Yuri drove them back to Victor's apartment, the smile and tease in his tone were clear.

"No. It's a surprise." If it hadn't been for the expression on Yuri's face, Victor probably would have told him where they were eating. However, when he saw how the smile widened, he knew he had made the right choice. Yuri wanted this to be a surprise, so Victor had no issue with making sure that it was one.

"Is it nice?"

"Oh, it is very nice. I am sure that Lilia would even approve." Maybe it was a little bit of a game, and maybe Victor had always said he didn't play games. This little back and forth though, especially when it made Yuri smile like that, was something Victor very much was enjoying.

"You know she is going to get all the details." The tension Yuri had been holding in slowly was leaving his body. It didn't change that he had school on top of his job and his competitive return to skating -- but it did mean that he was enjoying right now. He'd worked hard all weekend, he deserved this day.

"I hope not all the details."

"Oh really?" Now the teasing in Yuri's tone was clear as he took a turn, it would only be a little longer before they were at Victor's apartment.

"Then again, maybe you do tell Lilia everything …" Victor tilted his head as he saw how Yuri blushed at that. "Oh -- you do?"

"Not everything. I mean, probably most things. Yes, most things." He was trying to act like he didn't blush even more at that.

Victor reached over, letting his hand gently rest on Yuri's thigh as the other man drove. "I've been looking forward to this."

He didn't miss the Yuri was still smiling. No, he loved when Yuri smiled -- it had been such a rare thing for so many years. To see that smile more often now was amazing.

Before long, they were parking at Victor's apartment and taking the elevator up. As soon as he was in his apartment, Victor moved to pull Yuri to him, kissing his lips even as he pressed the younger man up against the door. 

Yuri didn't bother to hide his moan, his arms resting on Victor's shoulders as he just let Victor press him back. His eyes closed, they were alone. It had been so long since they had really been alone -- not that he hadn't enjoyed both Beka and Chris visiting, but to be alone now was something that had been so missed. He didn't need to hide the soft moan in his throat. There wasn't anyone here to hear them.

Victor's hands drifted to Yuri's waist, palms resting on the man's hips as he pulled him towards him, letting their bodies press together. Yuri was always so warm. Every time he had his hands on the man, he felt so warm. "I ..." He wanted to cancel the restaurant. He had Yuri alone and in his apartment -- but no matter how much he wanted to stay in, he knew how important going out was to the other man.

Every bit of Victor's willpower almost failed as he felt Yuri lean into him, pressing up against him as Yuri tilted his head more, relaxing as he submitted fully to the kiss. His hands still on Yuri's hips, he pulled him tighter, and the dress pants the blond wore did nothing to hide how hard he was. 

If he didn't pull back now, he knew there was too much of a chance that he'd lose his chance and that he would end up ruining their first proper date. As much as it pained him, Victor stepped away -- the kiss lingering for a second even as he pulled away. As their lips finally parted, a soft whine escaped Victor. "I missed that…" It was only partly true. For all the kissing they had done, that felt different in some way. He couldn't look away as he watched Yuri's eyes flutter back to open.

"You should get dressed. I'm hungry, old man." The phrase had stopped being an insult a while ago. Now though, said that softly, it was barely even a tease. Instead, now it was more like some sort of pet name

"Yes yes, brat." Victor smiled as he said it. If Yuri was going to keep calling him 'old man', there needed to be a counter. He softened any blow from the name by brushing his lips against Yuri's again. He couldn't stay there. If he did, he knew he'd kiss Yuri again, and then that would truly put going to dinner in danger.

He left Yuri there at the door as he walked to his room -- he was near positive what he'd wear. He'd deal with the suitcase later, there wasn't anything that was important in it. Once he walked into his bedroom, he realized what was different. The apartment was clean. No, it hadn't been dirty when he had left, but things had not exactly been put away. 

Now, as he looked around, everything was back in its place. As he opened his closet all of his clothes were hung up -- of course he always hung up his clothes; however, some of those clothes had been in the hamper. "Did you wash all my laundry while I was gone?" He called it out even as he started to pull off his clothes so he could get changed.

"I was already washing mine, so …" Yuri's voice sounded like he was in the living room.

"You didn't have to do that." Not that Victor didn't like the gesture. He did. It had been … well, since he and his ex-husband had been on good terms since someone had done that for him. He pulled on a black silk shirt, not wearing a tie. He was going to dress as close to the level of formality as what Yuri had worn. 

As he sat on the bed to put on his socks, he realized the sheets and blankets had all been washed as well. He frowned at that. Yuri had only had the key for so long, and with the homework and work that he knew Yuri had had to do, that just did not seem to leave enough hours in the day for him to have been able to get everything done.

Walking out to the main part of the apartment, Victor's brow was furrowed slightly. He wasn't mad, he was just worried.

Yuri looked up, seeing the expression on Victor's face. "What?"

"Did you sleep at all Friday night?" He walked over to him, reaching out to brush a stray strand of blond from where it was hiding those vibrant eyes.

"A little … on the couch." Even as his eyes dropped, Yuri told Victor the truth. He refused to be the type of hypocrite that demanded honesty but then would lie.

"You were worried." There was a sigh, but Victor wasn't mad. Well, he wasn't mad at Yuri. There was a little anger at himself

"I .. yeah. I trusted you to take care of it, but … I still felt useless, like I should be there." He still couldn't look Victor in the eyes. Instead, he looked everywhere else. He told the truth though.

"Next time, tell me and … had I known, I would have called you once she was back asleep. I just didn't want to wake you up." Victor leaned in, closing his eyes as he softly placed a kiss onto Yuri's forehead. He felt how relaxation flowed through Yuri, and how the young man leaned into him.

Victor let himself enjoy this for a moment, the comfort of just holding Yuri like that, feeling him in his arms. They were on a timer though. He had reservations and the place was two bridges away. He pulled away, smiling as he whispered, "Do I look good enough to take you on that date now?"

"Very handsome." With a smile, Yuri leaned in to brush his lips over Victor's again. 

The walk to the car was relaxed. They normally were taking Yuri's car but this time Victor wanted to drive. It was a date -- so every last thing that he knew Yuri would want (even if he'd never ask for it) was going to be done. The door was held open, and Victor waited for Yuri to slide into the passenger seat before closing the door to walk around to the driver's side. 

Conversation on the way to the restaurant was about two things, skating as always, and how traffic was less horrible now that peak tourist season was over.

Once they got closer, Yuri was looking around, seeing how close they were to the water -- the actual water not just one of the rivers. "This is nice."

"Well, I did have a very handsome man say yes to a date, so I thought I better make sure." Victor didn't even bother to hide the slight tease.

"I'm dressed up enough?" Yes, he wanted fancy, but there was a chance this might be too fancy.

"You look amazing, and yes. I -- thought you'd like this place. I don't know if Lilia ever brought you here." Once they were parked, and the ride hadn't been too bad, Victor hurried around to open the door for Yuri, holding a hand out to help him out of the car.

"I don't think we've been down here to eat. Are we early?"

"A little, it should be fine. Reservations were more a making sure thing than an absolute needed thing. I -- didn't want to do anything too pretentious."

Yuri looked around as they walked up to the door of the restaurant, a smile spreading across his face, "Leave it to you to find a Mediterranean restaurant here." He was looking around, the view of the bay beautiful. If only for the view, this place was amazing.

Inside, everything was wood and looking as Tuscan as possible. The white tables and chairs and light drapes giving off a Mediterranean vibe, but with a very well-stocked bar. As Victor said a few words to the hostess, they were led over to a small table by one of the windows overlooking the water. "This is gorgeous." 

"Does this count as a proper date?" Victor opened his menu, smiling even more as Yuri playfully bumped their feet together. 

"Very much a proper date." Yuri smiled as he leaned over the table a little, holding his phone up to get him, Victor, and the view into the picture so he could send it to Lilia.

"For Lilia?" 

"Of course. She worries." Yuri was smiling as the waitress walked over to offer something to drink -- and Yuri didn't stop Victor from ordering a bottle of merlot.

Victor paused, looking at Yuri, "Unless you wanted something stronger from the bar?"

"Wine would be nice." Yuri let his feet tap against Victor's again. The sun was just starting to drop, lighting the waters of the bay. "This is perfect." It really was. It wasn't too fancy, but it was fancy enough to clearly be a special night out. 

Smiling, Yuri let the topic of conversation slip to school -- after assuring Victor that yes, he had everything he needed to have done for school tomorrow already finished, he talked more about his classes and how close he was to having his degree now. 

Yuri was still talking about his classes when appetizers arrived at the table. 

Victor laughed softly at Yuri's explanation of how frustrating his paper advisor was, "Well, I am sure Yakov is happy to have a skater that doesn't need extra tutors. Georgi and I were both impossible."

"So I have heard. Mila always told him that at least she wasn't as bad as you two."

"He talked about that?" Victor seemed surprised.

"Yes Vitya, it was Yakov. If he wasn't yelling, he was complaining … and sometimes it was about you." Yuri's smile went wider as he teased. "Besides, you couldn't be perfect at everything."

"You mean like you? Smart, beautiful, and talented?"

"Shush, I'd think you're trying to get me into bed tonight if you're talking like that."

"Would it be endearing if I said that I was?"

With an exaggerated roll of his eyes, Yuri answered, "As much as I hate to say it -- because it will only feed your ego -- from you, yes it would."

"Then yes, yes I am." 

"This is nice, Vitya."

"This?"

"Here, this, you -- I know the last thing you really wanted to do after how much stress the competition caused would be taking me out on a date --"

"No. You're wrong on that. I don't care how crazy the past few days were. This is so far from the last thing I would want to do. Dinner with you and seeing you happy is exactly what I would want to do."

Yuri sat there, his back a little straighter and his lips slightly parted as he tried to figure out how to respond to that. The honesty and the care honestly taking him by surprise in the best way.

"Yura … I want to spend time with you." He reached across the table, taking one of Yuri's hands into his as he sighed softly. This was hard, knowing that Yuri's past had made him think that he, and people in general, didn't want to spend time with him. Softly brushing his thumb along the back of that pale hand, Victor smiled, "Even if I were dropping you off at Lilia's house tonight, I would still have wanted to take you out tonight."

Yuri's eyes dropped for a second, looking at how Victor was holding his hand, "And that is why you aren't dropping me off at Lilias…"

"Well, and your car is at my place." He couldn't help the tease.

"Mmm-hmm. Yes, that's why, Vitya." Yuri rolled his eyes as their meals were brought out. As the waitress set them down, Yuri had to pause to realize how the two meals couldn't have been less similar. While Victor had a much more sensible chicken risotto, Yuri's own plate contained not only veal, but also lasagna and vegetables. His looked more like two people's worth of food 

"Hungry?"

"Shush." Nothing was stopping Yuri from taking a picture of their food, making sure to get both dishes and the wine glasses in the image. No one could see either of them in it, but Yuri still paused, "Would it be bad to post that?"

"It is entirely up to you." Victor remembered what had happened the last time he had recommended discretion -- and honestly, part of him wanted people to know. He wanted people to know that not only had he found a home and loved coaching here, he had also found someone he loved. Maybe it was a little fast, maybe it wasn't. He knew he had spent too much of his life with regrets to not allow himself this.

Nodding, Yuri posted the pictures -- no comment, just the picture. He then turned his phone upside down to set it on the table. "Lilia will see it as well, she has my accounts set to notify her."

"Does that mean you are skipping dessert?" This time it was Victor tapping Yuri's feet with his.

"No, that means I am not posting a picture of dessert." Laughter followed as he cut unto his food. Between the wine, the delicious food, and the sun setting over the bay, Yuri was completely relaxed. He found himself talking about the skaters and Alexandr. He listened as Victor pretended to complain about the ones he had on the trip -- when in fact everyone knew he enjoyed it. All too soon, the sun was almost down and his dessert was brought out. The waitress assuming they would need two forks as she set it down in the center of the table.

Victor just smiled as he watched Yuri pick up a fork and take a bite of the -- well, frankly way too sweet concoction. "I had no idea they had anything like that on the menu."

"This is so good." The chocolate cake with chocolate sauce and ice cream was indulgent enough, but that it was further topped with cotton candy made it seem more like something that would have been at the place he and Otabek had gone to instead of the fancier and romantic date with Victor.

Victor made a decision, there was no reason not to enjoy things right now. Yuri would think any less of him if he tried this too sweet concoction. He picked up the second fork to take a small bite of the desert, "OK, no, you are right, this is delicious."

"See, old man, you just have to learn to live a little." Yuri smiled though as he said 'old man'.

"But see, here I thought I'd enjoy just watching you be happy." He grabbed the bottle of wine, topping off both of their glasses as he emptied the last of the bottle. "We need to do this more often."

"We need to have more time."

"True -- but still, what time we do have." This time when Victor's feet brushed up against Yuri's, he didn't pull back, he stayed touching Yuri as he watched him eat. The only part of the dessert that he had was the small bit he had sampled, but that was all he wanted. He really did prefer watching Yuri. "And I could do little things."

"Like the little things you already do? When you text with me when you should be sleeping. When you stay late with me at the rink. All the work you put into --"

"All of that stuff, I want to do that. I love doing those things. I … love those things too." Victor smiled softly at him. Once the bill was paid and dessert finished, Yuri and Victor left the restaurant, maybe walking just a little too close.

Victor reached out, letting his fingers entwine with Yuri's -- this was a date. This was an entirely perfect date. The moon was shining as they left the restaurant, walking back to the car while exchanging soft kisses.

Wine tipsy and full, Yuri leaned back in his seat, twisted so he could put his feet in Victor's lap as they drove back to the apartment. He took his phone out, looking at his social media to see what responses there were -- no one seemed to suspect anything.

The only text was from Lilia, and it was enough to make Yuri smile as he read how she thought the date looked. For a moment, Yuri wished that the picture he had risked posting online had instead been the one he had sent her, but he knew that was a bad idea. If people assumed that he and Victor were having some sort of celebratory dinner, or maybe he was out with Lilia -- or someone else … who knew. 

Yuri knew he couldn't be posting about this for everyone to know what he was doing -- and who he was doing it with. Their friends knew. The people that mattered knew -- he hated being a secret. He let himself fall quiet as they drove back to Victor's apartment. He loved this city. Moscow might be where he had been born, but now Saint Petersburg was his home. 

His eyes closing, he relaxed as Victor drove with one hand on Yuri's ankle, softly stroking. As they pulled into the parking lot, Yuri sighed softly, "Tonight was nice."

"Just nice?"

"OK, more than nice. A lot more than nice." 

"How much more?"

"You're pushing it, old man." Yuri got out of the car, leading the way into the building using the key from the other day. Was he really just a guest at this point? Once they were in the elevator, Yuri hooked an arm around Victor's shoulder, moving in to kiss him again.

Without saying anything Yuri led Victor back to the apartment. As soon as the door closed behind them, Victor pulled back, "I wasn't lying, you look amazing."

"Do I?" Yuri laughed as he walked to the bedroom, knowing that Victor was going to follow him. 

"Absolutely." Even as Victor said it, he was right behind Yuri, moving the man's blond hair to kiss at his neck, softly sucking along the pale flesh - careful to not leave marks, but when Yuri moaned at the touch, his kisses roughened.

Was Yuri backed into him, pressing against him, Victor's arms wrapped around the younger man, just holding him tight as he moved up to kiss along Yuri's jawline, soft kisses placating each nip even as his hands found Yuri's hips to press them together.

There was no effort from Yuri to hide the moan and no illusion that the way he rocked his hips back was accidental. No, Yuri wanted this.

"Want you." The words were just whispered against Yuri's ear, the soft strands of blond hair being kissed even as Victor let one hand move down, brushing over the pants covering the other man's already growing erection.

"You do?" Teasing, Yuri pressed his hips back, feeling the hardness against his ass. The clothes not covering anything,

"Fuck, baby…." Yuri's movements against him drawing a shocked gasp from Victor.

Yuri tried to hide how being called 'baby' in that tone made him shiver. "That's the plan, Vitya." Smirking, Yuri turned to look at him, slowly unbuttoning his shirt as he watched how Victor's eyes went to his fingers. "Do you want to fuck me?"

"Yura…" Oh yes, he did. He watched as Yuri pulled the shirt off, exposing that perfect dancer's body. Yes, Yuri was not and had never been built exactly like a skater. He'd always been more like a dancer, athleticism wrapped tight in a beautiful frame. 

"Do you want this?" Yuri didn't need an answer, he knew the answer, even as he reached out to unbutton Victor's shirt.

Victor could see how Yuri's breath sped up, his eyes focused only on him even as he watched him. Then he saw it, a slight little tell of nervousness and doubt as Yuri bit his lower lip. He knew the man. Yuri would never back down. Victor moved closer, letting his hands trace over bare skin as he leaned in to whisper, "I don't just want this, I want you." 

Anything to make sure Yuri knew this wasn't just physical. At one point, he had thought he was the one who was the most damaged in this relationship -- but now he knew different. Yuri had been hurt by so many people, especially by him. 

Softly, a kiss was pressed to Yuri's lips before he let himself move to his knees. His hands undoing Yuri's pants in a quick move, letting his hands slide between fabric and skin to expose Yuri's erection. It didn't matter how sore Victor's knees were from too many years of skating, this was more important. Looking up, he leaned forward, his lips parting as the same attention he lavished on Yuri's neck earlier moving now to the younger man's dick as he licked along the shaft, hearing the sharp intake of breath.

Lips parted to take the head, he held onto those muscle covered hips, moving his mouth even as he felt Yuri's hands slide into his hair, hearing the soft whisper of his name from those lips as he moaned.

Yuri moaned again, his head rolling back as he looked up at the ceiling of the room. Everything became just how Victor's mouth felt. Hot and wet perfection surrounded Yuri's cock as he slowly rocked forward. It felt perfect. The soft silver hair in his hands, the warm mouth, the soft grunts from every thrust as he felt heat start to build -- but then he paused. Yes, he had wanted this for so long. He'd had fantasies about Victor on his knees, but that wasn't what he wanted now.

"Vitya. Come on. Fuck me…" He moved back on to the bed, kicking his pants off to lie down on the bed. 

Without pause, Victor climbed up onto the bed, pulling his shirt off to toss it aside. This was what he had wanted. The moonlight streaming through the window highlighted Yuri's pale flesh, every strong angle and line of that muscle -- god, did Victor want that. "Are you sure?"

"Fuck! Yes. I want you."

Even as Yuri moaned, Victor's mouth was back on his cock, tasting the salty flesh as he swallowed him down again. As Yuri's back arched off the bed, Victor managed to get his own pants undone, pushing them down as he pulled his mouth off, letting Yuri's dick slip from his lips before he moved up to capture the man's lips in a fast kiss. It had been too long since he'd had someone. He wasn't thinking of anyone else though, everything was just Yuri right now.

Blond hair, pale skin, those bright eyes -- everything was Yuri as he kissed him roughly, pulling the other man's body to him as he pressed their cocks together. Oversensitive, hard flesh rubbing together as he kissed him, lost in the taste of red wine and chocolate. It was perfect.

"I want you…" Between kisses, Yuri managed to whisper. He wanted this. He desperately wanted this.

"What do you want, baby?" Victor whispered, his breath hot against Yuri's ear as the other man shivered at being called baby.

Almost whining with frustration, Yuri's answer of "Fuck me" was gasped out between moans.

"Fuck you here?" Victor whispered as he let one hand slide between Yuri's legs, a single finger tracing over his asshole.

"Fuck! Yes! Just, fuck, old man! Fuck me!" Yuri moaned louder, needy as he whined when Victor pulled back. 

As quickly as he could, Victor was throwing open the nightstand drawer, pulling out condoms and lube. 

When Yuri realized what Victor was doing, he practically purred, "Someone was ready for this."

"Wanted to make this perfect for you." His lips were back on Yuri's even as a now slick finger pressed back against that opening. 

Whatever Yuri was going to say was lost as Yuri could only moan as he rolled to his stomach, pressing his hips back. He gripped onto the sheets as Victor slid a lubed up finger into him. He tried to say something, but all he managed was a whine as he pressed back.

Victor leaned down, his lips brushing across that perfect ass. His free hand running over the muscles, perfectly sculpted by time in the dance studio to be a strong muscular curve under his hand. Squeezing, he felt the soft play of flesh before letting his lips trace over the flesh again.

Hearing how Yuri moaned at that, he let his lips trail up along the other man's spine, one finger still pressing into him, curling a little to brush against the prostate.

"Vit… Vitya…" Yuri's back arched more as he moaned, his cheek pressed into the pillow as his breathing sped up, a full-body shiver running through his body as he felt the brush against that sensitive bundle of nerves. "Please?"

"You want this?" The words were just whispered into Yuri's ear. Victor's kisses had trailed the entire length of Yuri's spine before his lips had found the sensitive flesh behind Yuri's ear.

As Yuri whimpered and nodded, Victor slips his finger free so he'd be able to open a condom. He pulled back, just for a few moments to press the latex over his hard shaft, smothering himself with more lube before he was pressing at that tight ring of muscle.

Every intention Victor had to go slow stood no chance against Yuri's desire to have him now. Gripping the sheets, Yuri pressed back, moaning at how good the stretch felt as Victor's cock head pressed past tight muscles.

"Fuck, Yura -- fuck, so …" He moved his hands, gripping Yuri's hips to slow the other man. He didn't want to hurt him. It was taking every ounce of his self-control to not just press in hard and fast. 

"Please, please… I want…" Yuri tried to press back, whining at how Victor's hands stopped him, holding him in place. That only lasted for a moment before he felt Victor moving forward, sliding into him and filling him so perfectly. The whining turning to moans as he gripped the sheets even harder.

"Yura…" Victor's fingers dug into those hips. He wanted more. He wanted more contact, more everything. Even as he thrust in, bottoming out as he rocked, thrusting as deep as he could, he wanted more. Reaching down, he pulled Yuri up to him, arms wrapped around that smaller frame as he pressed kisses along Yuri's neck, sucking on the bottom of his jaw and then finding his lips. 

It was so hard to think with how Yuri responded. Every deep thrust brought a low moan, even as Yuri reached up, fingers entwined in Victor's grey hair behind him. His breath sharp and fast even as he thrust himself down onto Victor, taking every last inch the man was giving him Then, he only got louder as Victor dropped a hand to wrap around Yuri's cock, stroking the man in time with his thrusting.

As Yuri's entire body tensed, Victor tightened his grasp. That hard cock in hand leaking precum over his fingers as he kept stroking in time to his thrusts. He was so close. For every fantasy he'd had about Yuri, none of them had come close to the reality.

Suddenly, Yuri's head lolled back and he gasped, his back arching as he thrust up into Victor's hand, then he thrust himself back onto Victor deeper -- finally tensing as he came hard, come spilling over Victor's hand as Yuri collapsed against Victor. Full body shivers passed through him as finally Victor moaned, Yuri's name on his lips as he was thrown over the edge. 

Unable to move for a few minutes in the aftermath, VIctor clutched Yuri close to him, feeling how their bodies perfectly slotted together. Every bit of tension finally gone from Yuri as all the younger man could do was catch his breath.

Somehow, he managed to pull from Yuri's body and toss the condom to the garbage. He collapsed back onto the bed, pulling Yuri tight even as the other man started to kiss him again. Lazily, Yuri's arms were wrapped around him, pulling them closer together.

Victor was smiling into the kisses as he whispered, "I could get used to this?"

"You could?" Yuri's eyes barely half-opened. He was so tired, and now he was so relaxed. Bed with Victor was an amazingly good thing.

"Mmmhmmm. Handsome man in my arms." He reached down enough to pull the blankets up over them. Maybe normally he'd stay up later than this. However, with how tired Yuri was and how good he felt now, Victor knew he could easily sleep this early. 

As Yuri settled in against Victor, one arm over their heads so his fingers could play with Victor's hair. For a moment, Victor tensed. It was enough for Yuri to notice though as he whispered, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing … no … I …" The truth. He had to tell Yuri the truth. "It's getting so thin."

Shaking his head, Yuri just buried his head into Victor's neck. "I don't care about that. I have enough hair for both of us."

Still a little tense, Victor let himself play with Yuri's hair, letting those blond locks just fall between his fingers. Yuri was so much younger than he was though, why the man would want to be with him was something he didn't understand.

With a soft sigh, Yuri propped himself up on one elbow to look down at Victor, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his lips before sighing again, "Vitya. You're overthinking. I can tell. I don't care about your hair -- but I know you do. It's not half as thin as you think it is. You could be balder than Yakov and I wouldn't think less of you. I want this. I want you." 

Victor wanted to doubt that, but it was so hard to not believe Yuri when he was looking down at him, not hiding anything. All he could do was softly whisper, "Thank you." Pulling Yuri into a kiss, he held the man closer, keeping him tight against him as the settled in bed. Tonight would be an early day and a long one -- tonight, all they had to think about was how it felt to fall asleep with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the whole 'these places are real' theme going on for food in this story -- http://monterest.ru/
> 
> Isn't it gorgeous?
> 
> We're getting closer and closer to the end, so thank you to everyone who has stuck with me for this :)

**Author's Note:**

> comments / kudos are loved :)
> 
> or my Tumbr is [Tumbr](http://scribblesinthemargins.tumblr.com/)
> 
> or my Twitter (which is a mess) is [Twitter ](https://twitter.com/ScribblesITM)


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